Also, I've noticed that the type
of session makes a whole difference. I haven't been "training" since November... In the meantime I've been doing 60 min aerobic spins on Zwift, usually. These sessions don't do much for improving mood, but I can honestly say that after thrashing myself during a 45 minute race on Zwift I am firing on all cylinders.
Your experience reminds me of the GCN rider who was tested. They tested his brain waves and blood circulation at three levels.
There was a little bit of "woe" in his voice when he realized that it took him 241 watts to take his mind off his troubles. Guess he is in better shape then I am lol
Perhaps we don't have to go as hard outside or while riding with friends to be mindful of what we are doing. Yet, going harder does break my mental misery in order to confront the physical challenge.