The following are just a few little tidbits I picked up while I was a triathlete for 25 years:
1) Leg cramps suck
2.) If it's hot outside, you ought to drink some water
3.) There are only two reasons to drop out of a race. One is if you have a broken right femur. The other is if you have busted the left one. Beyond that, I can't think of any reason not to finish.
4.) Don't ever be intimidated by hard, tan, hairless bodies. The veneer is not a window to the heart and the mind---the parts that count
5.) Don't be afraid of sharks when swimming in the ocean. Jaws was a fictional movie. Of all my friends, only two have ever been bitten by sharks. And only one of the beasts was a Great White.
6.) Chicks don't necessarily dig scars.
7.) If you ever get the chance to sing the national anthem before the start of a race, do it. Just make sure you know the words and start an octave lower than you normally sing.
8.) Sunscreen is over rated. Hats are under rated.
9.) It's OK to sprint the final 100 yards of a race even if you have walked 90% of the distance. You paid the damn entry fee.
10.) There are two kinds of cyclists, those who have crashed and those who are going to crash.
11.) Imagine what it would be like to drive out into some barren and lonely stretch of land all by yourself, park your car in a rutted, dirt lot next to a shallow and murky pond lined with duck crap. You remove your bike, lay it against the car and set your running shoes up on the hood. In your head, you say 'Bang' and run into the stagnant waters, past an old Fritos wrapper while the mud squishes up through your toes like Play Dough. Now next time you enter a race, and all these friends of yours are crowded around, waiting, excited, nervous, and the water looks a bit intimidating but strangely inviting nonetheless, appreciate what goes into putting on a triathlon.
12.) Keep a pair of swim goggles in the glove box of your car.
13.) Keep a pair of swim goggles in the drawer of your desk at work; not to use but to remind you of the concept of balance.
14.) Keep every race number from every event you ever enter, writing down the date and a few notes on the back. The t-shirts, like the pain and soreness, will fade with time. But the old numbers, stuffed away in some long forgotten file, when finally recalled at some distant point in time, are keys to unlock the priceless memories attached to that piece of paper.
15.) On days when you just don't feel like training, don't. But first ask yourself why so that you can look yourself in the mirror before going to bed that night and see a person influenced by the knowledge of experience or by the apathy of neglect.
16.) When you have a bad race, and it WILL happen, keep it to yourself. Go ahead and bore your dog, your fish and your pet turtle with your tales of woe but spare your friends. They don't care. They only want to see you come home safe and having enjoyed yourself…if they are indeed friends.
17.) When you have a good race, which can now be defined as coming home safe and happy, be proud of it, share it once and only lightly. And then inquire as to your friend's event.
18.) When riding in an area without bike lanes and cautious drivers, consider attaching a 3 ft antennae to the side of your bike with a #10 sheet metal screw taped to the tip. If a driver is to come dangerously close, placing your health and welfare in question, he or she may be reminded of their lapse of consideration by the presence of a new racing stripe along the side molding.
19.) When a free message is offered at the end of an event, always tip the volunteer with kindness, gratitude, a signed t-shirt or few bucks. Consider it a karmic transaction.
20.) When things get especially tough in a race, call on a source that is especially good at pulling us through. Hint: It's not your spouse, your coach or your college psychology professor.
21.) Support sponsors that support triathlons. Another karmic thing maybe but rooted in capitalism nonetheless.
22.) When you dream of winning, stop not at a liquor store to buy a lottery ticket on the way to work, but take the time to write the dream down on a piece of paper and keep it in a safe place in your wallet. It has the same value as a winning ticket.
23.) If it's cold outside you ought to bring a jacket on a bike ride.
24.) Race entry fees aren’t cheap. Create a little fund inside a cookie jar that sits on the kitchen counter. Every time you buy something on sale, make that lawn mower last another season, have Jim Rice at Sole Performance fix that broken heel on your favorite pair of pumps instead of just buying a new pair or maybe you just come home with a pocketful of loose change that keeps rattling around in your pocket---toss a few bucks into that jar. Pretty soon you'll be racing for free and feeling better about yourself in the process.
25.) Knowledge can be found in a book, wisdom on a street corner. But the cornerstone of both is built upon experience. Race often and with purpose.
26.) Leg cramps always suck. If you find a sure cure, please tell me.
1) Leg cramps suck
2.) If it's hot outside, you ought to drink some water
3.) There are only two reasons to drop out of a race. One is if you have a broken right femur. The other is if you have busted the left one. Beyond that, I can't think of any reason not to finish.
4.) Don't ever be intimidated by hard, tan, hairless bodies. The veneer is not a window to the heart and the mind---the parts that count
5.) Don't be afraid of sharks when swimming in the ocean. Jaws was a fictional movie. Of all my friends, only two have ever been bitten by sharks. And only one of the beasts was a Great White.
6.) Chicks don't necessarily dig scars.
7.) If you ever get the chance to sing the national anthem before the start of a race, do it. Just make sure you know the words and start an octave lower than you normally sing.
8.) Sunscreen is over rated. Hats are under rated.
9.) It's OK to sprint the final 100 yards of a race even if you have walked 90% of the distance. You paid the damn entry fee.
10.) There are two kinds of cyclists, those who have crashed and those who are going to crash.
11.) Imagine what it would be like to drive out into some barren and lonely stretch of land all by yourself, park your car in a rutted, dirt lot next to a shallow and murky pond lined with duck crap. You remove your bike, lay it against the car and set your running shoes up on the hood. In your head, you say 'Bang' and run into the stagnant waters, past an old Fritos wrapper while the mud squishes up through your toes like Play Dough. Now next time you enter a race, and all these friends of yours are crowded around, waiting, excited, nervous, and the water looks a bit intimidating but strangely inviting nonetheless, appreciate what goes into putting on a triathlon.
12.) Keep a pair of swim goggles in the glove box of your car.
13.) Keep a pair of swim goggles in the drawer of your desk at work; not to use but to remind you of the concept of balance.
14.) Keep every race number from every event you ever enter, writing down the date and a few notes on the back. The t-shirts, like the pain and soreness, will fade with time. But the old numbers, stuffed away in some long forgotten file, when finally recalled at some distant point in time, are keys to unlock the priceless memories attached to that piece of paper.
15.) On days when you just don't feel like training, don't. But first ask yourself why so that you can look yourself in the mirror before going to bed that night and see a person influenced by the knowledge of experience or by the apathy of neglect.
16.) When you have a bad race, and it WILL happen, keep it to yourself. Go ahead and bore your dog, your fish and your pet turtle with your tales of woe but spare your friends. They don't care. They only want to see you come home safe and having enjoyed yourself…if they are indeed friends.
17.) When you have a good race, which can now be defined as coming home safe and happy, be proud of it, share it once and only lightly. And then inquire as to your friend's event.
18.) When riding in an area without bike lanes and cautious drivers, consider attaching a 3 ft antennae to the side of your bike with a #10 sheet metal screw taped to the tip. If a driver is to come dangerously close, placing your health and welfare in question, he or she may be reminded of their lapse of consideration by the presence of a new racing stripe along the side molding.
19.) When a free message is offered at the end of an event, always tip the volunteer with kindness, gratitude, a signed t-shirt or few bucks. Consider it a karmic transaction.
20.) When things get especially tough in a race, call on a source that is especially good at pulling us through. Hint: It's not your spouse, your coach or your college psychology professor.
21.) Support sponsors that support triathlons. Another karmic thing maybe but rooted in capitalism nonetheless.
22.) When you dream of winning, stop not at a liquor store to buy a lottery ticket on the way to work, but take the time to write the dream down on a piece of paper and keep it in a safe place in your wallet. It has the same value as a winning ticket.
23.) If it's cold outside you ought to bring a jacket on a bike ride.
24.) Race entry fees aren’t cheap. Create a little fund inside a cookie jar that sits on the kitchen counter. Every time you buy something on sale, make that lawn mower last another season, have Jim Rice at Sole Performance fix that broken heel on your favorite pair of pumps instead of just buying a new pair or maybe you just come home with a pocketful of loose change that keeps rattling around in your pocket---toss a few bucks into that jar. Pretty soon you'll be racing for free and feeling better about yourself in the process.
25.) Knowledge can be found in a book, wisdom on a street corner. But the cornerstone of both is built upon experience. Race often and with purpose.
26.) Leg cramps always suck. If you find a sure cure, please tell me.