Gf, I know exactly how you feel. During the summer I get up and am on the road by 6am so that I can avoid as much traffic as possible. I'm also deciding this year that I have to stop riding alone. I might make some training sacrifices because of it but I too need to get on the roads and not feel so afraid. I figure if I'm in a pack I'm more likely to be seen and helped right away if something happens.

If I do ride alone I wear the brightest shirt I have and never wear headphones so that I can hear whatever is coming up behind me. I also look for an out if I hear a big truck coming. Like, if I ride into the ditch right there I won't hit the tree over here. My husband also always knows my route and I call in on a regular basis.

I always have to balance my fear of traffic with my fear of being on a country road with less traffic but also less chance of rescue because of it. I tend to choose the more traffic in town so that if I do get hit I'm closer to medical care.

My ID, my bloodtype card and my insurance card are always on me when I ride. A cellphone too, of course. I ride as smart and aware as I can and never space out or assume drivers see me.

I'm still afraid of getting hit but all I can do is increase the likelihood of survival.

Good luck. I know it is really hard.

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Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce

Sorry I have no advise, but I'll give you comfort in knowing your not alone.
I've been there ...and I've felt that... good thing is it goes away eventually


cc

"any advice? "

A roadie friend of mine was killed last summer. He was riding solo at the time. Personally, I've always felt much safer on a group roadie ride than riding alone. Maybe it's safety in numbers or even a false sense of security but at least if you get hit on a group ride there are other riders to help out, phone 911 or take a license plate number. I'm always much more nervous when riding alone on my tri bike than with a group on my road bike..

My other security is always riding with a rear view helmet mirror. I'm sure it's saved me a few times.

                  I too have a bit of a fear of "training" on the roads here in North Queensdland,Australia.That is the main reason I have ditched the road bike and now ride my mtb for all my training.I have been hit eight times and luckily am still able to tell the tale and continue on with my sport.My problem is that the attitude toward cyclists in my part of the world is just plain scary.I have had beer bottles,water bottles,fruit and all kinds of stuff thrown at me from cars as well as being spat on and generally abused by way too many rednecks.Riding my mtb gives me the chance to bail-out on the side of the road at any time without worrying about crashing in a ditch(although that is what happened to me in Oct last year).I don't really care too much about "racing" my events anymore and even though I do still compete at my Ultra-stuff it's more about hanging out with the people at the event than anything else.I'm more of an adventure cyclist now and the funny thing is when I attach my trailer to my bike in training I never get a hard time from motorists.
On my travels through Argentina,Bolivia and Canada over the last couple of years I never had a problem with abuse or intimidation from any motorists.In fact it was just the opposite,I was cheered all the way and even had all kinds of people buying me coffee's and lunch and stuff at truckstops along the way.It must be something about the whole expedition thing that they like.No-one ever bought me anything at a truckstop while riding my road bike.One thing I did notice though was once I started training on my mtb it was the tri-geeks who did not want anything to do with me anymore.I'd turn up to join some rides in Penticton with my little tractor and they would be very obvious in the fact that I wasn't welcome.Seems people get pissed off when you can still ride for hours on an mtb and not get dropped by the Iron peleton.
If you do have an mtb try putting some slicks on it and use that for a little while to get your confidence back.Good luck to you.

I've been riding on roads for over 17 years--training, commuting through Pittsburgh and Seattle traffic. I'd never been afraid until last year when too many stories of local cyclists getting hit/injured or killed came to a head. Now I'm terrified. I have visions of a hit and run and I can't feel my legs...'nuff said.
My plans for this season are to:
1. Avoid riding alone. This is tricky because there's really no one who rides my training pace. My fiancee is much faster, but he's going to ride ahead then turn around to catch up with me. I feel bad because I think it compromises his training.
2. Ride with neon yellow clothing and a blinking light clipped to the back of my shorts or my saddlebag.
3. Ride with a cell phone, road id, saddlebag full of repair gear and money.
4. Ride with wider, puncture-resistant tires. It doesn't make for fast splits, but when a truck come barrelling down on the white line behind you, you won't flat riding in the gravel on the shoulder.
5. Stop thinking about death and paralysis. Really. We could easily die or get injured driving our cars, but we don't perseverate over it. It seems most of us have accepted that risk and moved on. I want to do the same with the bike.
6. On the days when I can't do #5, then I'll ride the trainer--even if it's for 4 hours.

Good luck, kitty. I hate being gripped with this fear and I know it get over it overnight. I think I'm gonna ease into road riding with short rides alone and longer rides with a group...

I think it's all about making safe choices. I refuse to allow my fears to prevent me from riding on the road, but at the same time you can choose roads that are safer than others. There are lots of great roads that I would love to bike, but they are just too narrow and winding for me to consider safe. I stick to wide roads with lots of straight sections so you are more visible to cars. I usually pick roads that are wide enough for a car to pass me within the lane (ie. without having to go into the other lane to pass me safely). I think you just need to fine some good safe roads out there to slowly get back into it.

One of the ways I have gotten more confortable on the roads is do to most of my long weekend rides as part of Bike Club sponsored SAG rides. Most of these rides are super well organized and the organizers have gone out of their way to make sure that the roads you are riding on are in good condition, have a low traffic volume, and usually a wide shoulder. Plus you are riding on a course with several hundred people spread out over numerous routes (sometimes with funny signs) so cars in the area are a bit more alert to your presence. It also makes me feel a bit safer to be out there with many cyclists as I do most of my riding along. So while I am not with people, there are tons of people around in case anything might happen. And having aid stations every 15-20 miles for refueling takes another issue off the table. So for $15-20, I get food, safety in numbers and a SAG support in case anything should happen to me and my bike.

Of course there are ways of being as safe as possible biking on the road; ride in a group, wear visible clothing, lights, ride early, etc. But the fact is that the risk of getting hit is part of being out there. For my husband and I our ride starts on a road that is semi busy and 55 mph! No road shoulder either. My strategy is this, I say a prayer reminding Him that there are folks who need me and love me and then I trust that if it's my time then it's my time.

You will only drive yourself with your worries because ultimately you can only do a few things the rest is sort of out of your hands. If you feel better riding on a bike trail for now, then I say stick with that until this phase passes for you. I'm sure it will.

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Nor do I use punctuation in the way a child sprinkles glitter over a ribbon of glue on construction paper - Trash Talk

I hear you - I've been reading so many stories lately about cyclists being killed by idiots who veer off the road as they're looking down at their phones or texting or getting something out of the backseat.....it's scary. What I do is find the emptiest country roads possible to ride on. We're talking cow and cornfield country. Yes, it's a pain, but I refuse to ride in the city.

I also use a rearview mirror, the kind that attaches to the end of the handlebar. In fact, I'm changing out the basebar on my new tri bike because the stock one doesn't allow me to put the mirror on. Yes, it's an added expense, but to me one that's worth it. The mirror was weird at first, but once I got used to it, looking at it was automatic and I liked being able to see what was coming up behind me....in plenty of time to be able to veer off the road if necessary. Not that I've had to yet, knock on wood.

I would say try baby steps - start out on roads that feel safer than most, i.e. that have VERY little traffic. Once you've built up your confidence, try adding in the roads that you used to ride on.

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http://thethighmasterroutetokona.blogspot.com

Our entire team dealt with this in the last few weeks. Matt and Kristy's accident was a freak occurrence. (Not that it doesn't make one ANGRY.) But, a few seconds either way, maybe no accident. We've found that getting back out there is the best and fastest way to deal with it. Doing the memorial ride together and with 1,000 of our "family" made things a lot easier.

On a more practical front, I always ride with the mindset that everyone (cars, other riders, tourists, pedestrians) is stupid and is going to do something stupid. I also use a lot of sign language (finger wagging, eye contact, etc.) or voice, especially around intersections, etc. And, I don't blow red lights or stop signs. I do most of my riding solo or with one or two other people. If I find a road that I don't feel is a good one to ride, I won't ride it again. There are some routes that people do here that I have no inclination to do.

Someone at work asked me after the accident if I were afraid to ride now and I said, "You know, you could be walking down the street and get hit and killed by MUNI [the bus system] or a falling crane. [Both of which happened this week.] So why live your life in fear? Besides, Matt and Kristy wouldn't want us sitting indoors afraid." So we aren't.

clm

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clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com

Get back out there , but start on quiet roads, build up your confidence again.

As the previous poster has stated , that you could / can get hit at anytime when you are out and about.

Always be aware of whats going on all around all the time.

You've already gotten great advice...ride defensively, but not passively; ride as though you belong there. Be completely and totally aware of your surroundings, and when riding in traffic be completely predictable and pretend as though every driver out there is both blind and deaf, and you'll come out okay.

However...I am also a firm believer of "if and when it's your time, there won't be much you can do about it..." In other words, we've all heard of the freak accidents that go one way or the other, those near-misses or nanoseconds of difference in time or space that spelled either life or death...and both will leave you scratching your head. "How the heck did that person walk away from *that*!" is heard nearly as often as "Wow, I can't believe that killed him/her..."

It's all sad and tragic but you can't live life fully in fear. If you ride in fear, something bad *will* happen and you'll likely be the cause. So if you're going to go out there, ride like you mean it.

And by all means, go out there.

i don't know. i think if i ride my bike on the road then i'm increasing my chances of something very bad happening. my concern isn't really dying but becoming a parapalegic, which would be a major drain on my husband--his life would be working and changing my diapers. i just don't think that's fair.

also, i don't really want to die because of a bike ride, and don't want anybody be left to deal with that. maybe this is a phase, but i really feel that i'm at a crossroads and am beginning to wonder if it's worth it. or maybe i've had too many personal losses in the last year, alot of people close to me died. after going through these losses i find myself hanging onto whatever i can, and now become worried with all of the driving my husband is doing.

my husband told me everytime i go out on the road, he worries until i come home. that sucks and i'm not sure if it's fair. so, we'll see. for now i think i'm going to stick to the bike path and try to work it out from there (obviously it's not a good idea to ride while terrified). i really appreciate the advice everyone, some good things discussed hopefully it is helpful to others.

I think we've all been where you are in one form or fashion, some maybe not so bad, others much worse. Obviously everyone is different...and of course if you ride on the road, you increase your chances of something bad happening. But as CLM points out, you could take every precaution known to mankind, ride on closed roads or indoors exclusively and then slip in the shower and crack your head open. Like I said, for me if it's my time to go, then it's my time.

As for your husband saying that he worries about you everytime you go out...I, too, have heard that sentiment and while I appreciate it I also say to myself "this is part of what makes me me." Trust in my skills, trust in my ability to not take stupid chances and obey all traffic laws, and trust in my ability to choose roads that won't put myself in as much of harm's way as others might.

To live life in fear because of something that happened to someone else...while I can empathize with that, and understand that everyone processes grief and loss differently---understand that there's a massive amount of occurrences that have to happen in a certain order for a certain thing to happen. Something's not quite right, and the twain shall not meet.

As we get older we will experience more of those around us passing away. Not a week goes by that I don't see an obit online or in the papers where I don't either see someone I know or a friend of someone I know that has gone, many of them way too early. But there is a reason for all things and it's not up to us to have all the answers or understand the whys. It is up to us, however, to live our lives to the fullest, with as little fear as possible and to be as much of a person as we can be to those around us.

For you, take cycling out of the equation of your life---will you be happier? Or just less scared?

We typically won't get to choose the method in which we pass from this earth, so whether it's on a bike ride or falling down and breaking a hip when we're really old and gray...guess what, as the saying goes, no one gets out alive. So while you're here, make the most of it.

Losing people really makes you realize that life is brief and fragile. When my daughter was 14 she had a friend who was killed in a car accident. The next year her cousin was killed in a car accident and the following year my best friend's son died in a car accident. Both my daughter and I were so traumatized by those deaths that she just now learned to drive at the age of 20. We were really controlled by our fears, both of us. Ultimately however she had to learn to drive and she has even had an accident already and totalled the car, although she was not hurt. My point is that nothing was really accomplished by giving in to our fears and keeping her from driving for 4 years. She is just much less experienced than she should have been by now.

Accepting the loss of friends and loved ones is definitely a learning experience. The lesson however is not to become fearful and try to hang on to life at all costs. As has been said, if quitting riding on the roads makes you less happy as well as less fearful, then it isn't worth it.

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Nor do I use punctuation in the way a child sprinkles glitter over a ribbon of glue on construction paper - Trash Talk

thanks for this--all very valid, and so very helpful.

you're right, and others are right. i think i need to change my frame of mind not just in cycling, but in other venues as well (like being scared of my husband driving)--and work towards not living "in fear". it would be a welcome relief actually to have a different frame of mind.

this was the right message, it all connects, what you've said, what everyone has said. now i get it.

KC - I have an on-again/off-again relationship with bike commuting to work because of the number of near misses I've experienced. The last time it was a co-worker who almost took me out, she passed me and immediately turned right and if I wasn't alert and anticipated it by slowing down then I would have t-boned her. I told her about it the next day and she laughed. I explained to her that it is difficult to anticipate a cyclist's speed and that you always need to defer to the cyclist in that situation. I could tell she was pissed about the lecture from me but what else could I say, I was trying to be nice about it.

So what can you do? Here I had the opportunity to talk with one of those drivers and I doubt she took it seriously. On that same ride home a driver in a minivan swerved into the bike lane I was riding in just as she passed me, I guess she didn't want to have to reduce her speed going into the corner. I have semi-retired from bike commuting but will look into getting mirrors for both my commuter and tri bike.

I don't like living in fear either but you also have to look at a situation for what it is. Women have more fear issues than men and I think it is empowering to get over them and move on. I hope you get through it soon!

You're not alone. And I'm glad to hear it's not just me, too.
I have become more nervous about it. Once I get going, I don't think about it as much, and thoroughly enjoy the ride. But I get stressed in anticipation of riding, which is something that just started last year. I've had one near miss, but don't think of it too often, and I don't think that is so much the reason I get nervous.

I do always: carry a cell phone, have ID, have a little cash, and let someone know where I'm going and about what time to expect to hear back from me.

I'm totally there with the fear thing. I lived in a rural area of PA for the last three years, then moved back out to the SF area. When I lived out here before I didn't ride. Man....I have yet to go out for a solo ride. The traffic freaks me out too much. The sad thing is I live close enough to the oakland hills to proabably do some nice riding, but I'm too anxious about the cars. The one time I went out at least 3 cars came SUPER close. I'm used to these gorgeous country roads without lots of traffic, so it's been a tough transition. Then I hear about how all these roads out here are dangerous and a disturbing number of riders have been killed/injured, etc.

So I just ride the trainer during the week and then go out with a riding club on saturdays, although they haven't started up yet, so that kinda sucks right now since my first race is in a month.

Sigh.

But I definitely feel where you're coming from!

Em

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Bra Diva
Find a sports bra that won't let you down!
www.BraDiva.com

maybe start by driving somewhere that you can do a ride with little traffic. I go to school in the middel of no-where ohio, and usually only get passed by three cars on the course of a 2 hour ride. obviously not every one has access to rolling nothingness, but i am sure there is somewhere near by where there are less cars, aka less to make you nervous (sunday morning is also a good time - the only people out are church goers who by nature tend to be more careful)

also, look up some statistics. i'd be willing to bet things like driving to work put you at more of a risk. not to make you paranoid, just so you can realize that there is inherent danger in everything, so just be careful and live it up!

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"What am I on? I'm on my bike busting my ass for six hours a day. What are YOU on?" - Lance Armstrong

Time to return the favor. This was from last year and helped settle some of my thinking then.

http://forum.slowtwitch.com/...post=1373861#1373861

I think your current fear is just a fresh realization of the risk involved in the sport. Realizing and acknowledging the fear is a sign of sanity and a reasonable thing to do. If one dismisses the risks than that person is either very young, or not very smart. A little fear is a healthy thing. Just don't let it take over your life. Use your head, ride smart and anticipate the idiots.

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Behold the turtle! He makes progess only when he sticks his neck out. (James Bryant Conant)
GET OFF THE F*%KING WALL!!!!!!! (Doug Stern)
Brevity is the soul of wit. (William Shakespeare)

I have had 2 personal friends get killed on a bike in AZ. Both triathletes. I love riding-it is my favorite sport, but the traffic can be scary. I have gone mtn. biking and thought about Xterras, but I get hurt every time I do it. Try to get out as early as possible and wear bright clothes. Be careful-a lot of times cars won't even see you.

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Jolene Wilkinson
Triathlon Coaching http://www.pacificfit.net