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are women best coached by women?
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I am in the market for a new coach, and a pro woman i met at a race yesterday, told me that it is her firm belief that women are best coached by women. I personally, in all my sports i have always been coached by men. any thoughts?



"What am I on? I'm on my bike busting my ass for six hours a day. What are YOU on?" - Lance Armstrong
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Re: are women best coached by women? [flyer521] [ In reply to ]
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I don't feel like there's a definitive answer to this, is there? I think it's more about what you're comfortable with. In my racing career my coach was always my dad and I did very well. In my dancing days my "coach" (teacher) was a woman and I did very well.


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Re: are women best coached by women? [flyer521] [ In reply to ]
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I would suggest that some women are most definitely best coached by other women - but this would apply across the board in all aspects of life, and reflects more on the personality and mindset of the women in question rather than any sort of actual differences that may be inherent in either gender. To state that "women in general are best coached by other women" is in my mind completely ridiculous.


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Re: are women best coached by women? [flyer521] [ In reply to ]
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I agree with cuds and Khai. It is all personality. I don't need a lot of enouragement or "soft skills" with my coach. I've worked with a guy coach for 4 years now and he has the right balance of saying the right things when I need it and giving me my schedule and letting me be. When I reach out for support he gives it but in a very no nonsense way that doesn't talk down to me. Twice now he's actually yelled at me when I made some comment about quitting during an Ironman. He wasn't going to put up with that at all. Scared me because he never yells but it got me moving! Not everyone would respond positively to that approach.

I usually talk all training with him because he knows what I want is a schedule, some shop talk and no bullshit comments on progress.

I know some people, and not all women, who really need that emotional support and that stereotype leads them to believe it is a woman who can deliver it. Conversely I know a local guy coach who is very warm and fuzzy and a friend of mine loves him. It would drive me nuts though.

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"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce
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Re: are women best coached by women? [flyer521] [ In reply to ]
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The more I think about this, the more I wonder why she has the perspective that women are best coached by women. It would just be interesting to hear her reasoning - women understand women better or something? Don't suppose she happened to elaborate on her reasoning, did she?


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Re: are women best coached by women? [flyer521] [ In reply to ]
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It's funny that you posted this. Just last night I attended a Race Strategy clinic for a group of us (Tri Team Z) doing IMLP next month. The coach is a guy and he shared a lot of great information. However, it was all about the tangibles of the race such as nutrition, equipment, transition bags, special needs bags, pre and post race logistics and on and on. You should have seen the faces of many of these people. They looked down right scared and were taking notes like crazy.

For those that have never done an Ironman the last few weeks leading up to the race can be the most stressful. You have trained and sacrificed for so many months and now it's almost time to actually do the darn thing. You begin to doubt your abilities and your mind starts playing games with you.

I made a few comments to them about the importance of mental preparation as well. I reminded them that they need to trust in their training but most of all to trust in themselves. I wanted them to remember why they signed up to do this crazy Ironman in the first place. The know they can do the distance physically but were doubting themselves mentally.

I also stressed that Ironman is much more of a mental race than a physical one and you have to try to shut out those negative thoughts, no matter how bad you are feeling at a given point on race day. Ironman is hard and it hurts but it is also one of the greatest things you will ever do. If you let the negative thoughts take over you will not enjoy the day as much as you otherwise could have.

Point being, I think many but not all women coaches would take the mental aspects of racing into consideration more than many but not all men coaches. When I ask someone how they are feeling, I want to hear about their sore left hamstring but I also want to know how they are feeling inside their head.
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Re: are women best coached by women? [flyer521] [ In reply to ]
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Disagree.

I do agree that the personality match is the most important thing. Personally, I work better with a male coach, specifically a "take no crap" kind of personality.

clm

clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com
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Re: are women best coached by women? [trackie clm] [ In reply to ]
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Just curious, if a female had the "take no crap" personality would that work too? Any specifics why you feel you work better with a male coach? Really, just curious about this whole topic now :)


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Re: are women best coached by women? [flyer521] [ In reply to ]
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I've always been happiest and performed best with male coaches. I know there are many excellent female coaches out there; it's just how it's worked out for me.
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Re: are women best coached by women? [cuds] [ In reply to ]
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Oh i certainly don't think i agree with her, i was just throwing this out there for discussion. Her reasoning was that women need to train differently than men, and that men wouldn't understand those differences. I am not really sure how i would train differently from a guy though....



"What am I on? I'm on my bike busting my ass for six hours a day. What are YOU on?" - Lance Armstrong
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Re: are women best coached by women? [trackie clm] [ In reply to ]
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Agreed. I've always worked much better with male coaches since I was a kid, regardless of the sport.
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Re: are women best coached by women? [flyer521] [ In reply to ]
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I too disagree, my concerns are their coaching credentials, coaching philosophy and personality fit, gender is irrelevant. As to "women's issues" I have yet to find a topic that makes my male coach squeamish, except maybe a gushing thank you email I wrote in while in a post-tri high.

That said, I really enjoy training in a group with other women, and I'm lucky to train with a number of seriously kick @$$ women, as I learn a lot from observing and interacting.
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Re: are women best coached by women? [Alibabwa] [ In reply to ]
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When I mention that I got my period during the bike at Kona, guys go ewwwww.
Woman give words of sympathy and understanding.
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Re: are women best coached by women? [flyer521] [ In reply to ]
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I would disagree that it is a good blanket statement. Personally, I have only worked with male tri coaches. But I had a couple swim lessons with a lady and those were great, too. It all came down to communication and understanding each other. In general, I get along better with men, and most of my close friends are male. With that in mind, it made sense to me that I get along great with my male coach. Actually, in my mind he is as much a friend as a coach: I respect him and listen to him and take his advice, as I do my other friends. It's just that his advice is (usually) tri related, and I pay him ;).

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Re: are women best coached by women? [fitzie] [ In reply to ]
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Ok, I agree with the period remark. Most guys in general (note I said most guys, including coaches and non-coaches) have a problem with what us women deal with monthly if not more often sometimes. Personally, I would rather work with guy coaches. I find the coaching, personal attention, etc. is sometimes better and they can cut thru some of the crap us women throw at them. I like the fact that if I whine/moan, etc. a guy will say HTFU and do what is required. Now either I HTFU and do it or I don't, pretty much my decision since I'm paying for the service. I think I would probably butt heads more with a woman coach than a guy.
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Re: are women best coached by women? [flyer521] [ In reply to ]
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I agree with other's that it's a personality match - you can't make a male/female distinction. I like coaches who don't put up with a lot of crap and are blunt. I've had both male and female coaches that fall into this category. The last two years I've been coached by a male coach and while he was helpful I never felt like he pushed me hard enough. When I return from my pregnancy I plan to have a new coach that's female. I picked her because she also has kids so she'll understand that struggle, but more importantly, because in reading her writing and meeting her in person, she seems like she will push me and be very blunt and honest with me.
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Re: are women best coached by women? [cuds] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:
Just curious, if a female had the "take no crap" personality would that work too? Any specifics why you feel you work better with a male coach? Really, just curious about this whole topic now :)

I just get along with men better in all areas--work, friends, training partners, etc.

clm

clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com
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Re: are women best coached by women? [trackie clm] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:
Disagree.

I do agree that the personality match is the most important thing. Personally, I work better with a male coach, specifically a "take no crap" kind of personality.

clm


I would like to add that a "personality match" has the ability to read their student (client) and know when to be a "take no crap kind of personality" and when to be the type of coach that is spread over the spectrum.

Personality match is really key. After that I would say that the ability for the coach to read your personality and your moods or swings (be honest we all do it) and adjust accordingly is the next key.



"your horse is too high" - tigerchik
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Re: are women best coached by women? [Hid] [ In reply to ]
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>>Personality match is really key. After that I would say that the ability for the coach to read your personality and your moods or swings (be honest we all do it) and adjust accordingly is the next key. <<

Exactly.

clm

clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com
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Re: are women best coached by women? [flyer521] [ In reply to ]
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I agree, it just depends on what personality is best for you. My coach has become such a good friend. Our talks/emails have transcended triathlon. If something is wrong in the family, with the kids, with the husband, I am completely comfortable relaying these things to her. I have told her things that I would not tell a male coach. Sometimes I probably could use a HTFU approach, but she is a great communicator and encourages me in just the right ways. One of my friends had a serious labia problem and wrote to my coach instead of her own about it because hers was a man and she didn't want to discuss her issues with him. Whatever works for you is the best. A woman coach has been PERFECT for me.
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