What are you looking for? with your post I mean?

I'm like you. I don't like bling for anyone including myself and I certainly don't spoil the kids - however it's all relative. Our kids have a lot more than many kids, but they also do chores and earn their own money, and purge (yearly) their old stuff for donations.

Are you worried that the "A"s will give you excessively lavish/expensive "bling" type gifts? If your "A" friends don't know what you like/don't like, then there's not much you can do. Thank god for gift receipts - you can return the things you find excessive. You can always make it clear come baby shower time too, by having a private conversation with the ones you think might go that route (i.e.: not public, such as in an eVite). Another option: baby register. It will give people an idea of what you think is acceptable as a gift.

And not quite on-topic but definitely related, some of the BEST presents your baby will get is clothing for *after* 6mo (i.e.: 6-12mo; 12-18mo, etc). Shopping with an infant/toddler is a major PITA, and unless your wife is a clothes horse, she's not going to want to spend stupid amounts of $ on clothing (trust me, it's so easy: ooohh this cute dress from France is only $90... oooh even though she'll only wear it for 5 or 6 times...). And because kids grow at such different rates and in such crazy spurts, it's a huge time/hassle saver...

Anywhoo, hope I touched on some of the things on your mind? If not, please elaborate... ;-)

AP

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"How bad could it be?" - SimpleS

"Baby bling" is definitely not (as I know it) extravagant gifts for the baby, it's a post baby birth gift for the mom. So I was kind of looking for whether this is a common thing (mixed reviews on the LR side of this), what people (especially mom's) expect to get, etc.

I don't care what friends will think myself, but am slightly worried about the reactions my wife will get if she "just" gets something non-extravagant, or even nothing. She usually turns a blind eye / deaf ear to those types of things, and her core group I don't think would react either way, but a few friends (a couple of the "A" groupers, who are nice enough people, but just have different values and foci in life).

I went over and read the LR posts, and I have to say, really, how is being a good dad, taking an active role in raising the child and helping around the house, etc a GIFT?!? No, that is just what should happen automatically. Seriously.

If you want to get her a gift, or if you think she wants a gift, then get her something. Personally, I think it is a really sweet idea (although I've never heard of it before and my set would probably fall in a E or F category compared to your A's and B's!). But really, what YOU want to do and what SHE wants you to do should be the only things you consider, not what I or the LR or your friends think.

If you do want to get her something, perhaps something functional (since that seems your/her style) yet also related to a first child - I would say a good camera to take pics of new baby, but she already has that. Maybe a camcorder? A really nice rocking chair/recliner for the sleepless nights?

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"Alice laughed. `There's no use trying,' she said 'one can't believe impossible things.' `I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. `When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!'"

I don't get why this is supposably a big new thing. My dad got my mom jewelry for my birth and the birth of my sister and that was back in the 70's. My parents were living overseas so there certainly weren't part of any A or B crowd. More like "any crowd who speaks english." Those specific pieces will be passed along to my sister and me when the time comes. I look forward to hopefully passing them on down the family line one day.

If you think your wife will like it get her jewelry or something else she'd enjoy. Only spend what you can afford and get something that *she'll* like regardless of what the A or B crowd will think. Perhaps something with the baby's birthstone in it?

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http://smallfoodbiz.com
</blatent self-marketing>

Anything "fancy" like that should come from YOU or FAMILY. Period. If it's for MOM, then it's not Baby Bling AFAIAC.... it's preggo Mom bling. Mom can buy, or have given to her by you and her family, your family, any bling she cares to accept. For me, and that's my stance, I wouldn't accept a gift like that if it came from anyone other than hubby or parents/inlaws.

Just remember to leave all that bling at home when you head to the hospital.

AP

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"How bad could it be?" - SimpleS

wait a tic, just read your post in the LR.

what you give your wife is up to you and you alone. fuck all those other people. no seriously. she's going to want a lot more things than "bling" - like some time for herself, dinner cooked, dishes done, laundry folded., If you think bling is what she wants, maybe you should ASK HER.

shakes head.

AP

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"How bad could it be?" - SimpleS

I have never actually heard of this trend until a couple of friends recently gave birth. Being triathletes, they didn't want jewelry and received new bikes as their baby bling. I did a quick survey of the men in my office (engineering firm) and all haven't given baby bling and don't plan on doing it in the future.

Having worked with a lot of engineers in the past (and present), I would have been shocked if any had given baby bling. Engineers are a little too "why would I do that, it does not compute" and "practical" for this concept ;-)

True enough! But we are water resources engineers so that makes a bit different that your typical structural or electrical engineer :)

I think the trend varies by family, not necessarily by what crowd your comparing yourself to. We'd be a C or D crowd, and I didn't get any bling for pushing the monkey out. He was born on Mothers Day and I did get an awesome bouquet of red roses from the hubby though.

Would I have liked something? Yep - but only because it's something I've wanted for years and that would have been the perfect timing for it, but did I tell the hubby he should get it for me? Not a chance. This post has me thinking about putting it in his head for this one though... We're due June 9 with #2. Tiffany has a really nice silver charm bracelet that I would love to put a wedding day charm and birth charms on. A few of my friends have them (we've actually pitched in to buy a friend one for her wedding). Not expensive, not cheap, but very nice.

Anyways, it's totally up to you - you are the only one who knows your wife and if you think she's expecting something, then you probably should get her something, but if she thinks it's strange or not necessary, don't. The value of the gift is totally up to you and unless your comparing gifts to cars, no one will ever know what it costs. Just me .02

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Harry: "I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this."
Loyd: "I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver's full of shit, man."

If it's something you think she'll enjoy getting, then by all means. I personally like giving gifts the most so I can see YOU enjoying giving it, and if she likes getting it - then why not?

As an occasion for a gift though, it strikes me as a little odd, but perhaps that's just me. (My other question....is she giving you anything as a congratulations? :) I dunno....I mean, the baby is both of your doings.)

I had never heard of baby bling until I read your post. I have heard of some of my friends who are mothers getting some jewelery, especially sentimental pieces like charm bracelets or pendants that signify the child, etc. But often it's not at the birth, but some time after.

Just thought I'd put it in perspective that around here, it's not common at all.

But, if it is common where you live and with your friends, you are right to think your wife may have expectations about it. Can you have an open ended conversation about it. Like: Did you see Sally's necklace, was that a baby bling gift? What did you think of it?

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Suffering on the the bike is always more fun than suffering on the run.

Having had our first baby 6 days ago & not type A people but have type A friends I might be of some help. Regardless of your socioeconomic status...gifts are nice Big Time Bling or Regular Joe schmo Bling.

If your A friends are really your friends they won't really care what you get her as long as you get her something from your heart and something you would like her to wear.

I would love anything my husband would give me for being a momma. Especially if he picked it out b/c he liked it rather than what a bunch of A friends thought or yahoos in a forum suggested.

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Heather Sweet
http://thesweetsadventure.blogspot.com/

I am friends with, and work with a ton of engineers - HILARIOUS and TRUE!! Definite LOL.

I have never heard it called "baby bling" (I thought you were talking about piercing the baby's ears), but I have heard it called a "birthing gift" - same concept different name I suppose.

I never had any money left for "Baby Bling" when my kids were born. I may have been able to afford "No More Pampers Bling" when my kids stopped needing diapers, but I didn't think of it.

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Lifeguard: "Do you need help?" Me: "No, that's just my butterfly."

This made me chuckle. I'm an engineer, and my first thought in response to this whole thread is, "seriously? Jewelry is a real waste of money. Get her a new bike, or a computrainer, or something like that -- something practical!"

But yeah - the folks who say "screw what everyone else thinks, and get her what she'd like" are the correct ones. Life's too short to worry about what your friends think of you.

I heard about this when I was pregnant. It is a nice idea, and after going through a pregnancy AND a labor/birth it is definitely nice to be pampered a little. If you aren't down with the jewelery (or what have you), you could always get her a certificate for an hour long massage or something of the like. I know after that hellacious ordeal a massage would have been AMAZING!! (Well... maybe after the c-section wound healed up) Just an idea. :) Congratulations on the little one!

My fiance and I are fairly well to do people. We are living a very comfortable lifestyle. We do have spare cash at the end of the month, but if he EVER thought to buy me 'baby bling' after I'd given birth to our first child I'd slap him.
A child will be one of the most expensive things you will ever have. Why would you waste money on a piece of jewellery? Spend the money on a stroller, a baby seat, a jolly jumper, pampers! Trust me... Hold on to your money. You will need it.

I just had a baby and I got my husband (for a gift for the baby) an Edmonton Oilers outfit. I didn;t get anything but then again I wouldn't and didn't want anything. My baby bling is my son and the help I get from my husband is the best gift he could give us both.

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Lana

I've always thought this designer rocked:
http://hotmamadesigns.com/

You could do names, initials, hers, yours, new baby...and even add a new letter if you have any more kids!

Couldn't agree more....Our boys are 8 and 5 and I was struggling to remember what "baby bling" (never heard the term) I purchased. I did do the Tiffany bracelet and she has charms for each boy.

Do you have one of those little FlipVideo cameras? I have taken far more video of my kids since buying one a year ago than in their first years of life because they're so convenient, easy to use with YouTube, editing software, etc. Dads tend to do more filming but these suckers fit nicely in a purse and quality is far better than anything shot off a phone.

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http://www.endurancesportsflorida.com

For our second, I bought my wife a gucci diaper bag.




I don't remember what I got her for the first.

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ishi no ue ni san nen | Perseverance will win in the end. | Blog | @nebmot | Strava | Instagram |

I'd never heard of either the term or the concept..
when our chilluns arrived, we'd planned on my wife going part-time at work (which turned into a layoff, quite quickly) so there was no spare money for trinkets.
If your wife likes shiny, I guess it's one way to thank her for bearing your children: but really opening a 529, or buying the child a nice US Savings Bond, is probably a better use of the money. Do I sound like an engineer ? oh well.

Some friends of mine chipped in for a post partum massage - it was heaven. I think I got it when my son was about a month old - maybe 3 weeks. Was amazing. I know I won't be getting anything like that with baby #2, but I sure do remember it after baby #1 was born!

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Harry: "I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this."
Loyd: "I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver's full of shit, man."