Login required to started new threads

Login required to post replies

Training partners....
Quote | Reply
Hi all,
I have a sticky training partner issue. I have trained on/off with a guy who lives in my area (S. California) who I determined is unreliable. I am also a member of a tri-club and train with a group more my speed. The guy lost all interest in training over the winter and in fact--stopped all training and gained alot of weight. I feel sorry for him and he is trying to gear up for an IM but works long hours and can't really train or doesn't want to (not sure which) on a regular basis. I have biked with him a handful of times when I couldn't ride with the group and he is so, so, so out of shape. He is too cheap to join the club despite my invitations and and prompting him to join. He has tried out the group a few times and really liked it. I really believe he will not train or lose weight until he is motivated and wants to do it despite all of my invitations, etc. I feel that I have invested in becoming a faster, stronger athlete by training with the group and I don't want to throw that away by training with someone significantly slower than me.....Help!

Kat_Kong
Quote Reply
Re: Training partners.... [Kat_Kong] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
you like him, right? if so, invite him to do something non tri related. If you like like him and don't want to be with someone not up to your standards of training then re-evaluate your standards. If you don't like him in THAT way and worry about him finishing the IM and training enough then let it go. I've tried to 'help' too many people and in the end you can't train for someone else. He has got to find the motivation on his own, and in this respect you have already done enough. The rest is up to him.
Quote Reply
Re: Training partners.... [Kat_Kong] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Kat, it sounds like you've done more than enough to help motivate this person who doesn't sound like they actually want to work out that much anymore. Time to move on but leave the door open to training with him in the future. You won't be the hero in the end if you keep pressuring him to train, depending on his issues, he could end up feeling guilty and ultimately resenting you. I think you are really sweet to try though. You'll find somebody else to train with.

Cheers!
Quote Reply
Re: Training partners.... [trailbait] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
Hi,
No I don't like him as a romantic partner. I think I just feel sorry for him. I decided not to invite him to train (and he rarely invited me or contacted me to train anyways. Go figure.) and let it go. He mentioned signing up for a triathlon that I am going to, however, I know he is notoriously flakey about follow through on anything.....and I just don't think he is motivated (despite gaining weight and getting completely out of shape)!

Thanks!!

KK
Quote Reply
Re: Training partners.... [Kat_Kong] [ In reply to ]
Quote | Reply
I found myself talking about this very thing today. Years ago when training for my first IM, this guy I knew from the running club was really interested and did some sprint tris. Went out bought all the gear, expensive stuff, got a coach, etc....he as more in love with the Idea of it all (not that you have to do an IRONMAN of course but that is what he wanted to do) the next year we were both signed up for the same IM (USA)...Id call and leave messages that I was going out for a long ride, or that a group of us were going, and he never came along. I just KNEW he was not training. I DID know that he was bragging to everyone insight that he was "training for the Ironman"....I was frustrated and gave up. His coach fired HIM as he was worried about his rep.
Race day he was the second slowest out of the water....he quit on the first climb out of Lake Placid and had to ride around the course in the sag wagon. He wasnt even 10 miles out of town!
He came to the awards banquet, wearing an expensive IM USA polo...and when they awarded a wetsuit to the guy with the slowest swim time he said-Ishould have been slower. I then pointed out it went to the person with the slowest swim time...that FINISHED.
maybe has no relevance here but felt like telling that story.
You can be there as a motivation just by the fact that you train, and let him chose to train or not. You have done your part and just worry about yourself now.
Quote Reply