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Tips for raising strong, healthy girls? Kids doing tris?
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Sort of a two part question: I have two "little" girls (6 and 7) and was wondering if those of you with girls could comment on the ways you encourage your girls to be fit and healthy. My girls eat well and are very active (we live on a farm and don't have t.v.), so I feel like we're doing OK on those fronts, but now my oldest wants to start doing tris (totally her idea), and I'm a little nervous about this as I don't ever want to be pushing her. It has the potential to be a slippery slope for both of us because we're fairly competitive. Could those of you with experience in this give me your tips?

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Trying to fight gravity on a planet that insists
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Re: Tips for raising strong, healthy girls? Kids doing tris? [luckytotri] [ In reply to ]
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My daughters are now 19 and 23. I took up triathlon when they were little, I think they were age 5 & 9. My youngest took to kid's triathlon when she was 6 - strictly for fun and it was her idea as well. She loved it and would do 2 or 3 'races' a summer. When she was about 12, soccer took over as her summer sport and she 'retired' from kid's triathlon. My older daughter always played the typical school sports - volleyball and basketball and she was a terrific little runner. We always encouraged the girls but always let them decide how much they wanted to participate. As a family, we always went hiking, x-c skiing, biking and so on - we focussed on doing a variety of activities. For my daughters, this was their 'normal'. They used to think I was really weird, running around in spandex and always going out biking or running or whatever. Why couldn't I be like the other Moms? As they got older, they became proud of me and now as young adults are very grateful that they were raised the way they were.

I did have to work at not putting pressure on the girls. I did have to get a little tough with them occassionally if we went to a race and one of them would decide they didn't feel like it. They had to finish what they started. I had to bite my tongue a lot when they would blow off a training day and tried to let them make their own decisions (mistakes?).

My marriage ended in 2005 and in 2010, when the girls were 16 & 20 - we trained and ran a 1/2 marathon together. It was their idea as a celebration of surviving their Dad leaving us and that the 3 of us rocked! I took my usual approach and put a plan together and allowed them to execute it. We had our moments and tons of laughs training and it was a great feeling to be out there with them on race day. My oldests is now training for her 2nd 1/2 marathon. This past spring, my 19 year old and I did a sprint triathlon together.

I see now as they are young adults and not living at home, that how they were raised has stuck. Both girls can cook and make their own healthy meals. They exercise regularly on their own. They do a variety of activities that suits their interests but both see running as their 'base' sport and the activity they use to get fit. As they see their friends gaining weight post high school and becoming unfit, they are so thank ful that their lifestyle growing up taught them how to be fit and healthy.

Anyway, I think if your little girls wants to get our there and do a triathlon, you should get her out there. Parents are the best role models for the kids so you have that under control already. Seems like you are a bit like me and will have to find ways to not put too much pressure on your girls and focus on the fun aspect of participating in triathlon (and other sports!).
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Re: Tips for raising strong, healthy girls? Kids doing tris? [luckytotri] [ In reply to ]
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I have 2 girls, ages 17 and 13. My only requirement for them is that they be involved in some kind of organized physical activity outside of school. When they were younger, they tried gymnastics, swimming, karate and eventually they both fell in love with volleyball. They are now going on 5+ years of pretty intense volleyball participation and loving every minute of it. First tournament of the new season for my younger daughter is tomorrow!! In addition to volleyball outside of school, they are also on a school team each of the 3 seasons, so they keep quite busy with their sports now.

My older daughter did a kids tri years ago before her volleyball addiction, but didn't really enjoy it. I'm kind of glad she chose something different, but would have encouraged her to continue if that's what she enjoyed.

I'm generalizing of course, but I think it's easier for girls to not be physically active than it is for boys. Sometimes girls need a little push. IMO, they have to learn that physical activity has to be part of your life. I wanted them involved in an organized activity so they would get lessons and get better over the years. Being really, really good at something has given them a huge amount of confidence.

So, I would strongly recommend that they find something active that they participate in outside of school. Some kind of organized activity that they will continue to improve in over the years. It doesn't always have to be the same thing, but just as long as they're always involved in something active.
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Re: Tips for raising strong, healthy girls? Kids doing tris? [luckytotri] [ In reply to ]
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My qualifications to answer this: none (25, no kids ;-)

Is there a kids' tri nearby that she could do? No harm in that. You could always "play triathlon" - set up your own race course.

At the very least, I'd use the tri interest as a way to get them to be good swimmers. I don't mean good in terms of competition, but good as a life skill. It is so useful to be completely comfortable in the water - not only can you swim and play in big waves at the beach, but you can waterski, tube, etc.

Furthermore, when she gets older, she can get LG certified - good way to get a summer job (pools, camps, etc).

maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD
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Re: Tips for raising strong, healthy girls? Kids doing tris? [luckytotri] [ In reply to ]
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forget about triathlons, introduce them to spartan races. only darwin's best will produce the strongest kids!

seriously though, a pre-competitive swim program twice a week that teaches the basics of competitive swim technique may be a good place to start. based on my experience, it's mostly kids aged 6-7 in those things.
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Re: Tips for raising strong, healthy girls? Kids doing tris? [kimbie] [ In reply to ]
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Thanks for your reply. How cool that your kids have completely adopted a healthy lifestyle and are maintaining that in college. Also, so cool that you guys trained for and ran a race together! I have fantasies about doing that someday:)

One of the reasons I worry about them getting involved in sports is because I don't feel completely confident in my ability to manage the lines between fun and dedication. So far I have managed this with "spin". Not that my kids are training for anything yet, but when they have "the blahs" I will suggest that they go outside for a hike, or a bike ride or run outside. Again, we live on a farm, so there's a nice trail for running or biking that's about a mile loop that I feel comfortable letting them do on their own. Sometimes I'll go out with them, and we'll do something together. I've relied on running for my mental health almost my whole life, and I feel best when I do that by myself, so I guess that's why I encourage them to go do something outside solo. It's a tricky balance between wanting to share with them what's worked for me, and projecting what's worked for me onto them :/

I had pretty bad burnout from competitive running at a young age, and I guess that kinda has me spooked. There's this point where kids have to be pushed to develop their talent, or even to get through a low motivation point, but I've seen that go so, so wrong, and I'm realizing that it's making me hesitant to get them involved in anything that has a competitive spin.

Since reading the posts to this thread I have looked into our local kids' swim team and have talked to my girls about it. The older one is interested, younger one isn't; there's also a sibling competitive thing going on. I think we're going to give it a go with the one who wants to. I agree that it is a great life skill to be comfortable in the water, and it could end up being a nice springboard in to tris, if she still wants to go that route. Thanks to those who posted the swimming recommendations. (That Spartan thing looks awesome and terrifying; I can't imagine risking an ACL for that craziness!)

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Trying to fight gravity on a planet that insists
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Re: Tips for raising strong, healthy girls? Kids doing tris? [luckytotri] [ In reply to ]
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luckytotri wrote:
I had pretty bad burnout from competitive running at a young age, and I guess that kinda has me spooked. There's this point where kids have to be pushed to develop their talent, or even to get through a low motivation point, but I've seen that go so, so wrong, and I'm realizing that it's making me hesitant to get them involved in anything that has a competitive spin.

that was on my mind when i posted. if you're in the top 0.0000001% and you're a highly competitive person, swimming is great. otherwise, though, 16-18+ hours/week of training by age 12 really sucks.
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Re: Tips for raising strong, healthy girls? Kids doing tris? [luckytotri] [ In reply to ]
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My daughter is now 25. When she (and my son) were young, I let them try out LOTS of sports. They did soccer, hockey, tennis, swimming, TRIATHLON, just to name a few. Once they committed to a team/sport, I made them see out the season. SOme sports they loved and went back to and some they only did for one or two seasons.

From my perspective, I never pushed them. As a coach of junior sporting teams I can tell you there is nothing uglier than a pushy parent. I don't think they realise just how horribe they sound screaming at their kids, yelling at coaches, even yelling at other kids/parents. My advice would be to let them enjoy sport. Let them do it for fun and fitness.

Raising kids is so difficult! I think you spend your whole life second guessing the decisions you make as a parent!! :)
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Re: Tips for raising strong, healthy girls? Kids doing tris? [luckytotri] [ In reply to ]
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My daughter will be 9 in Jan. She has unbelievable genetics for athletics. However, I have not pushed her one iota in lessons, clubs, etc. She is also a real artist - something she has real passion for... another thing not "pushed" in our house. Our rule is one "organized" activity per term. That's it; the rest is free-for-all activity. We run and bike and swim and sometimes the kids come with and some times they don't. We put zero pressure on them either way and have for years. However, we model the behaviour we want, and let them choose when they do and when they do not. participate. Only recently do we hear things like: "I'd really like to do that kid's race!" or "when is my next swimming lesson?".

I honestly think many parents often push kids to do too much, too soon. If they want to, let them try one. But you as the parent need to decide when and how often she participates in events. Sometimes you will have to say no. K wanted to do a 5k run and she's way too young for that (IMHO). So I say "no, you can do this other [2k] run instead". Just because they want to doesn't make it right.

Would you let them eat all their hallowe'en candy in 1 night? Probably not. You tell them "no", right? Well, you'll have to do the same when it comes to participating in events.

You need to check your competitive desires at the registration table when it comes to your kids. You need to teach them balance, fairness and sportsmanship, not competition.

Good luck.

AP

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"How bad could it be?" - SimpleS
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Re: Tips for raising strong, healthy girls? Kids doing tris? [AndyPants] [ In reply to ]
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i'll step out on a limb here and say that teaching a healthy level of competition to kids is ok - as long as it's competition with themselves.

i'm not talking about turning a kid into someone whose self-esteem is conditional on how well they perform, but providing some structure in their lives whereby they pursue what they're passionate about, and they really apply themselves. this can be anywhere in their life - academics (including art), sport, family life, whatever. they key is to emphasize that it's not about measuring up against others, but for a kid or an adolescent to start to learn to look within themselves with a degree of honesty and be able to be proud of personal growth and improvement.

when i was going through a bunch of homeless shelters in my youth, i saw some really stagnant kids who had no expectations of themselves or others (and i'm not talking about the 15-16 year old alcoholics or drug addicts who you could tell were severely traumatized by abuse of one form or another). some reveled in self-destruction, some just went through the motions of life - whatever, really. parents had failed these adolescents by not providing them with the tools to seek out healthy challenges or try to find personal growth. they had no internal reference point and weren't attuned to sense it. it simply didn't exist for them.

all of this could easily fall under a different moniker in your mind, though, so i hope i'm not coming across as argumentative or accusatory. just my two cents.
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Re: Tips for raising strong, healthy girls? Kids doing tris? [tegra] [ In reply to ]
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Not at all.

I (ok, we) am very competitive by nature, so for me it was a very conscious act/decision to approach activities the way we have.

I also hate wasted talent. I worked with at-risk youth in my past, and have seen a lot of wasted talent/potential. :-( But I cannot push my girl because I know what it's like to be pushed too far. I want her to want it. Not me.

It really is about the parent & child - together - talking and listening and forming an idea of what's OK and what's not in all aspects of life not just sports. I love all sports and think they are a great way to teach key lessons like good sportsmanship, teamwork, dedication, tenacity, etc. We just have to be careful, as parents, that we are not pushing too much.

Example: the step-son was becoming *too* competitive i.e.: sore loser syndrome + na-na-na-na-I'm-better-than-you syndrome. We had to stop certain activities until we had a chance to convey and see impressed the unacceptable nature of these behaviours. So you still have to pay attention and watch for undesirable behaviours.

I won't even start on the girls at 13-17 and body image debate. Oy! We can save that for another thread ;-)

AP

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"How bad could it be?" - SimpleS
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Re: Tips for raising strong, healthy girls? Kids doing tris? [luckytotri] [ In reply to ]
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Avoid discussions about weight....theirs, yours, anyones.
Keep the focus on the amazing things that they bodies can do NOT on what they look like.
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