Stress

Jan 17, 12 13:37

Post #1 of 30 (8320 views)

I'm student teaching this semester. I also have a 10 hr/week campus job and I have a bunch of work to do for my summer camp. The campus job is something I was thrown into so I can maintain my assistantship (i.e., get paid). It's not something in which I am particularly interested, but I am trying.

I can't figure out what I am supposed to eat for lunch. When I was on campus, I would go to the Union and get soup, or egg rolls, or hummus and pita chips. I am trying very very hard to be ok with eating bread so I can make a pita sandwich (either with hummus or cheese) for lunch.

I am taking Dutch I. This is for fun; my favorite professor is teaching it. Dropping it is not an option; it is giving me a link to something fun and that makes my brain work in a different way.

The campus job hasn't really been explained well to me. I have been thrown into the middle of a project. I am working on obtaining clearer directions and expectations, but right now I feel stressed over needing to log hours but I am not sure what to do to fill those hours.

The campus job requires some evenings and that's a very hard time of day for me. I get up super early to work out; I need that time in my day, but it means by evening I am exhausted. I am not sure how to maintain my energy all day. I need some trick for midafternoon. I may try caffeine - green tea or something - because last week most days I ate candy and that's not a healthy way to maintain energy. Maybe another short workout.

I am waiting to hear back from PhD programs and a job at a private school. It's easy when you're sending applications to think "oh, this would be so cool." And when you're waiting to hear, it's scary. The difference between my professors' knowledge and my own? Their PhDs. The separation is 6 years of formal schooling. And they know so much more than I do; their minds work so much faster; that I think those 6 years must be absolutely treacherous. I think about having to take comprehensive exams.

My thesis is defended but I didn't make the edits over Christmas break because I was working on the PhD school applications. The thesis is maybe one good weekend away from being publishable. When I find that weekend and finish it, I think I will feel better.

So many things to juggle. It has me paralyzed with anxiety. I spent the weekend doing a little schoolwork, reading, doing a little schoolwork, reading, because that was the only way I could focus. In small chunks.

Thanks for listening.

maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD

Re: Stress [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]

Jan 17, 12 18:33

Post #2 of 30 (8246 views)

I hope things improve soon. It is likely they will.

Re: Stress [determination] [ In reply to ]

Jan 18, 12 0:57

Post #3 of 30 (8220 views)

Thanks. I dug my keyboard out of my closet; music is helpful when I am stressed. I played last night and can play in the afternoons between being done at school / having class.

maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD

Re: Stress [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]

Jan 18, 12 8:01

Post #4 of 30 (8183 views)

I'm not saying this to belittle the stress that you're feeling, but most here would argue that the stress they felt in college/graduate school - even while juggling class loads, jobs, etc - was nothing compared to stress you feel once you get out of school. There are people here who are dealing with marital discourge/divorce, people with sick children or aging parents, people who have lost their jobs and are worried about how they'll pay the gas/mortgage/etc this month, people who are working 2+ jobs to make ends meet and feed their families - the list goes on and on. The best I can say is develop strong coping mechanisms now with how you are going to deal with stress for the rest of your life because, sadly enough, it doesn't end when you get your diploma.

http://smallfoodbiz.com
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Re: Stress [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]

Jan 18, 12 8:31

Post #5 of 30 (8172 views)

I understand your anxiety. It's a lot of stuff. But I think you have the correct approach. First of all - make the big projects into smaller projects / goals. You'll get it done.
And I know it's easier said than done, but you will get into grad school. But there's nothing you can do about it, it's out of your hands. It's just a matter of waiting. Try to let it go. Focus on the things you can change.
As for all the time commitments, make a schedule, you're good at that.
Once you settle into a schedule, you'll feel better.

Think of other times you've been stressed and how you got through it, and use that experience to know that you will get through this as well.

Let us know when you start hearing from schools.

Re: Stress [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]

Jan 18, 12 9:05

Post #6 of 30 (8160 views)

Wow, you've got a lot going on.

To keep your energy right, try taking a nap in your car/office/library during your lunch break. I would think caffeine that late in the day would probably only mess up your sleep, which is critical. Power naps can work wonders and help keep you sane. One of my biggest eating triggers is fatigue so I know I need to nap as well as graze during the day to keep myself balanced. I've been doing this for the last 6 years and I just turned 32.

I also suggest packing your meals ahead of time. Once a week I make a batch of "french toast" with high fiber bread and egg whites and pre-package for breakfast/lunch/snack. I top with agave nectar or peanut butter depending on my needs for the day. Nature's Own Double Fiber Wheat Bread has 50 calories and 5 grams of Fiber per slice so it's a win-win. Your local grocery store should have it. I pack about everything for the day so I don't have to worry about finding things/time to eat and it helps me eat right. Of course, I pack a little snack or 2. =)

I think you can work this out. I don't think another workout is the answer for energy.

Last edited by: A_Gal: Jan 18, 12 9:06

Re: Stress [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]

Jan 18, 12 13:19

Post #7 of 30 (8089 views)

How funny you should write about this Tigerchik. I came to the forum this morning before work because I am feeling stressed!! I am a teacher in a private school and it is very stressful with long hours and high expectations. On top of that I have two kids and am training for an Ironman. I can only tell you what "works" for me (I am still stressed!).I allocate time for everything. For example, I might say that today I will definitely leave work by 5 o'clock so I can come home and do a bike session. Then I dedicate that 1 hour to my bike session. When that is finish, dedicate the next bit of time etc etc. Luckily, my kids are older so that makes it a bit easier I think. So in short, I allocate times throughout my day/week to make sure everything that needs my time and attention, gets it. I also decide on priorities. My husband and kids are first priority, work next and training last. So if something has to give, it's always training.

Good luck. I think there is a perception out there that women can do it all and have it all. We can, but everything can't have 100% of us. Also, know that you are not alone. Lots of us are having a struggle, even if we make it look on the surface like we have it altogether!!

Re: Stress [lilpups] [ In reply to ]

Jan 19, 12 8:54

Post #8 of 30 (8031 views)

lilpups wrote:

I'm not saying this to belittle the stress that you're feeling, but most here would argue that the stress they felt in college/graduate school - even while juggling class loads, jobs, etc - was nothing compared to stress you feel once you get out of school. There are people here who are dealing with marital discourge/divorce, people with sick children or aging parents, people who have lost their jobs and are worried about how they'll pay the gas/mortgage/etc this month, people who are working 2+ jobs to make ends meet and feed their families - the list goes on and on. The best I can say is develop strong coping mechanisms now with how you are going to deal with stress for the rest of your life because, sadly enough, it doesn't end when you get your diploma.

I hate to be confrontational, but this pisses me off a bit. I'm also in school (working on my PhD), and guess what, my husband, who is in the "working" world, is much less stressed than I, and works much shorter hours. Summers, when I pass on classes and instead work full time, are much less stressful than during the academic year. Many of us in school are real adults as well, holding down multiple jobs, paying all our own bills (and on quite the budget, grad stipends are not much, trust me), running our own households, dealing with family issues, etc etc, and studying/learning/researching/working 10-12 hr days, 6-7 days a week. Your list of "stress you feel once you get out of school" are all things that people in school ALSO deal with.

-----

"Alice laughed. `There's no use trying,' she said 'one can't believe impossible things.' `I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. `When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!'"

Re: Stress [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]

Jan 19, 12 9:02

Post #9 of 30 (8029 views)

Lilpups is right however about developing strong coping mechanisms (and I know you have some good ones already). Of course it is true that stresses will continue into grad school and beyond. I have actually found grad school a bit less stressful in some ways than undergrad as (at least in my discipline) grades are not as big of a worry for me as they were in undergrad (My transcript doesn't matter quite as much anymore, because there is no additional degree program to apply to after this!), and we are a tight-knit department and there is really good emotional support and advice from other students and faculty. In other ways, its worse because the hours are longer and the standard for work is higher. Suddenly I'm not the smart one! My new favorite quote is "I've never worked so hard in my life just to be average." As far as comps, mine really were not awful. Think of it this way: as long as you are putting in the time and effort, you will learn what you need to be competent and pass - that is the job of the department to get you there! The great majority of people pass comps (it makes the department look bad to the university if too many fail). Perhaps finding out the pass rate may reduce some fears?

I'm in a stressed period right now as well (I totally hear you about waiting to hear back about acceptances - I'm in the midst of internship applications and feeling the same way). A few things that are helping me right now:

1) Making lists of all the things I have to get done really helps me. I make mine really detailed (scheduling my entire day down to each 15 min period, including things like eating, working out, showering, etc) - that way I know that I do indeed have time to accomplish everything and then I don't feel as overwhelmed. But I know for others this doesn't work well because then they get overwhelmed by the idea that there are so few spare moments in the day. You seem like the type that might like detailed lists though.
2) I also cook and pack all my snacks, lunches, and dinners on Sunday so they are ready to go all week long and I don't have to worry about eating too much, too little, or the wrong things.
3) Deep breathing!! It is crazy just how much a few deep breaths can really help.

I think the suggestion for power napping is a good one too.

-----

"Alice laughed. `There's no use trying,' she said 'one can't believe impossible things.' `I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. `When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!'"

Re: Stress [FeltLikeTriing] [ In reply to ]

Jan 19, 12 10:06

Post #10 of 30 (8011 views)

Thanks.
I am doing a little better. I got in 2 sports this AM so that felt good. I had a long day (7:30a - 8p) yesterday between the school stuff/class/campus job and I got through it all. I still feel overwhelmed but not as much.

maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD

Re: Stress [FeltLikeTriing] [ In reply to ]

Jan 19, 12 10:09

Post #11 of 30 (8010 views)

I'm with you . My stress level was much higher during grad school and dropped significantly after defending my dissertation. Like you said, a student likely goes through all of the things a person not in school goes through and more.

Re: Stress [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]

Jan 19, 12 10:54

Post #12 of 30 (7996 views)

You seem caught up in your own head and might need some perspective. Sorry to be harsh, but I work 20 hours a week in a high pressure job, I have a small side business, I just started to go to school full time, I take painting classes twice a week, manage a household of 4, and I spend the majority of my time with my two year old. I also triathlon train, invest in a social life with friends, and manage mild depression without medication. I'm not trying to present myself as super woman, I don't believe in that nonsense about women having it all, but everyone has problems.

Personally, I think you need to spend more time with other people so you aren't so caught up in what is going on with yourself. Learn to manage your life's priorities and find out what your limitations are and you will be better off in the future.

Try to discern if your drama is self created. Be happy, it is a choice that requires work. By the way, the best periods of growth come from times of stress. Try to keep it in perspective.

Re: Stress [trailbait] [ In reply to ]

Jan 19, 12 13:38

Post #13 of 30 (7952 views)

trailbait wrote:

You seem caught up in your own head and might need some perspective. Sorry to be harsh, but I work 20 hours a week in a high pressure job, I have a small side business, I just started to go to school full time, I take painting classes twice a week, manage a household of 4, and I spend the majority of my time with my two year old. I also triathlon train, invest in a social life with friends, and manage mild depression without medication. I'm not trying to present myself as super woman, I don't believe in that nonsense about women having it all, but everyone has problems. Try to keep it in perspective.

I think this is irrelevant and mostly unhelpful the to OP. This is why: TC is at a completely different stage in her life than you are, so comparing platefuls isn't meaningful. I'm sure it is true that life post-school is complex, busy and stressful, but let me try to put it into perspective for you:

In your mid-late 20s, perhaps into the early 30's, if you are getting a phD (like myself), you usually fit the profile: unmarried, no savings, live off of $15,000-25,000 a year, don't own a home, or any assets, throw away half or more of your tiny paycheck on rent, may have student loans, no kids, probably no pets because you aren't home enough, and the success of your career is largely dependent on one person or two (your advisor/s), and those people are accountable to basically no one, and can get away with whatever they want, because they are tenured faculty. It is a lot like indentured servitude. And it's not easy to switch programs if you find yourself in a sucky situation.

I'm not saying this is automatically a sad, stressful life (although it can be), because at no other time in my life will I be able to solely focus on my education and career. However, I have nothing else. Nothing. I don't have a husband who can support me in times of need, I don't have any money to fall back on. There are no children that make my life meaningful, or even a wagging tail of a dog to come home to!

It's an incredibly lonely, poor and unsettling time of your life, if you fit the profile I described, like most of my friends and I do, and maybe TC does too. And even though she's not changing diapers and running a household and taking care of a family (which in my mind, is the good kind of stress), while working part time and running a business, etc., etc.. I don't think you can depreciate the kind of stress that TC has, Erika, because you are at a later, more stable, stage of your life.

I don't think it's comparable.

I get pretty tired of people telling me "just wait till you get older, your life will be SO much harder, haha!" Perhaps it will, but there will also be things to look forward to: more income, hopefully a job(?), a family that loves me, and .... not doing my laundry at a laundrymat (holy shit that will be awesome).

Re: Stress [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]

Jan 19, 12 13:46

Post #14 of 30 (7951 views)

I think the Great Unknown about phD apps and the job are the culprit here. It's terrifying not knowing what is next. Just a few more months, max.- and you'll know.

Sorry, I don't know what else to say- except I know how much it sucks, waiting, not knowing, future is being decided by others. Hang in there.

Re: Stress [npda] [ In reply to ]

Jan 19, 12 14:00

Post #15 of 30 (7946 views)

In Reply To:

I think the Great Unknown about phD apps and the job are the culprit here.

Probably. I did set up a meeting on Mon. with my supervisor; I told her I would like to know exactly what the job expectations are and any deadlines. That will make the whole thing less ambiguous.

I'm trying to focus on the surreal aspect of applying to Ph.D. programs. Not many people ever get that far. :-)

maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD

Re: Stress [FeltLikeTriing] [ In reply to ]

Jan 19, 12 14:54

Post #16 of 30 (7927 views)

FeltLikeTiring - Congratulations on being an adult and holding down multiple things at once. Happy for you - I did the same thing as a grad student because, as you so aptly point out, that's what being an adult is all about.

My response however was directed at Tigerchik who has been around these forums long enough (and I've had several PMs with her) that I know that she is an undergrad who, while having a very full course load, doesn't have the added stress of family issues, paychecks bouncing, trying to figure out how to make the mortgage, etc. Sorry but grad school applications (been there - done that) is a very different kind of stress then say, going through a divorce (as one longtime women's member forum currently is), you and your spouse losing your income (as several members are going through), or having your in-law charged with child sex abuse (as another longtime member went through a year or so ago). So yes, while some people can have those while also being in school, chances are when you're 20 and an undergrad trying to deal with classload and grades it's a very different type of stress than trying to figure out which divorce attorney is right for you.

Re: Stress [lilpups] [ In reply to ]

Jan 20, 12 7:36

Post #17 of 30 (7848 views)

My main beef was framing it as a school vs. out of school issue. Because all those extra things have exactly ZERO to do with whether you are in school or not. (And yes, this is, obviously, a sensitive issue for me! So I get riled up easily about it.)

But in addition -

Emotions are emotions. And different things affect people in different ways. I remember when I was in undergrad, I had a really heavy class load my junior year, and every Friday night I would go out with my boyfriend for our weekly date night, get in the car, and literally break down crying every.single.time. simply from the release of stress from the week. Recently my husband (previously the boyfriend, thank goodness he stuck through those crying jags!) was out of work for nearly a year and a half, and I had to support the two of us on my below-the-poverty-line grad student stipend. But for whatever reason, that stress, to me, became an almost exciting challenge to be overcome. Honestly, (although hubby would strongly disagree) looking back I would prefer the poverty stress over that heavy-classload/will-I-ever-make-it-to-grad-school/what-the-hell-am-I-going-to-do-with-my-life stress, because I dealt with it so much better.

I guess what I am trying to say is that everyone experiences things different ways, and judging whether emotions are appropriate responses to situations seems a little silly. People experience what they experience. An emotion is just as strong, whether it comes from what you judge as a legitimate source or not. So please don't belittle someone's stress (because prefacing it with that doesn't mean you didn't!). Take it at face value and focus on helping them rather than comparing stresses.

-----

"Alice laughed. `There's no use trying,' she said 'one can't believe impossible things.' `I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. `When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!'"

Re: Stress [squid] [ In reply to ]

Jan 20, 12 7:38

Post #18 of 30 (7847 views)

Oh, my dissertation no longer hanging over my head, I can't wait for that day!! Congrats on having finished all that. :)

-----

"Alice laughed. `There's no use trying,' she said 'one can't believe impossible things.' `I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. `When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!'"

Re: Stress [npda] [ In reply to ]

Jan 20, 12 7:43

Post #19 of 30 (7846 views)

We're renting a place with IN-UNIT washer and dryer this year. Do you hate me now? ;)

The hubs and I are currently living 2.5 hrs apart, due to job and school situations, and I only see him on the weekends (so actually, only one place has washer/dryer, but hey, it works). Anyway, there are parts I love about it (like I can study uninterrupted, I don't feel guilty for not having a life and not spending time with him, etc) but you are SO right, it gets really, really lonely at times.

-----

"Alice laughed. `There's no use trying,' she said 'one can't believe impossible things.' `I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. `When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!'"

Re: Stress [FeltLikeTriing] [ In reply to ]

Jan 20, 12 8:29

Post #20 of 30 (7835 views)

everyone experiences things different ways, and judging whether emotions are appropriate responses to situations seems a little silly. People experience what they experience. An emotion is just as strong, whether it comes from what you judge as a legitimate source or not.

So true. I see this in my line of work every day. You have to meet the other person where they are at, emotionally speaking. Telling someone to, essentially, just HTFU is pointless and unhelpful

Re: Stress [FeltLikeTriing] [ In reply to ]

Jan 20, 12 22:32

Post #21 of 30 (7744 views)

Seriously, I do hate you, in your life of luxury! The weirdest creeps hang out at the laundrymat...One time this nutjob pretended he was a lion and "attacked" me, laughing hysterically. Oh the day when I can afford to rent/buy a place with a washer and dryer--that sweet, sweet day.

Anyway, I apologize for derailing the thread earlier. TC was venting. Venting, in my opinion, shouldn't be evaluated and compared to other people's stress loads. End of story.

Re: Stress [lilpups] [ In reply to ]

Jan 21, 12 3:45

Post #22 of 30 (7717 views)

In Reply To:

My response however was directed at Tigerchik who has been around these forums long enough (and I've had several PMs with her) that I know that she is an undergrad who

For the record, I'm not an undergrad. I am in the last semester of a master's program. (Undergrads fear me ;-) I've successfully defended my thesis. I'm 24.

maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD

Last edited by: tigerchik: Jan 21, 12 3:47

Re: Stress [FeltLikeTriing] [ In reply to ]

Jan 25, 12 7:53

Post #23 of 30 (7384 views)

Think of it this way: as long as you are putting in the time and effort, you will learn what you need to be competent and pass - that is the job of the department to get you there! The great majority of people pass comps (it makes the department look bad to the university if too many fail). Perhaps finding out the pass rate may reduce some fears?
_______________________________________________________________________
That is not correct from my own experience or from others who I have spoken to. I was the ONLY candidate who received their Ph.D. (molecular genetics) from both the year I entered the program, and the following year. The rest dropped out or bailed with a masters. In terms of life in vs. out of grad school; well, I would say that my post-doc was at least as bad. If you stay in the acedemic world, then the beginning of your career is going to be hard, especially with the situation of grants and the drying up of funding; and the business world introduces you to terms like 'down sizing' and 'reorganization'.

The best advice that I can provide regarding Ph.D. is to ONLY get one if it is the ONLY way to do what you REALLY want to do in life. If there is another way to get there, then do that.

In addressing the OP, stress is just a fact of life. It comes and it goes. It is like in a race where you know that it is going to hurt, but if you find that place where you are OK with the hurt (not that it stops hurting...just being OK with it hurting); and knowing that it will be over eventually, well that seems to help some folks (myself included). Another race anlogy is that if you want to achieve something more than average, you will be going deeper into that 'hurting' area. If you always stay in that comfortable zone, you will never achieve what you are possibly cabable of and maybe wasting that gifts which you were given.

To the OP...Just remember that there is always someone going through something worse that you....You dont have people shooting at you when you go to work, it is unlikely that your child will die from a very treatable disease, you probably will not walk on a landmine while out for a run. If we are logging into this forum, it means off the bat that we have it pretty darn good.

Stephen J

I believe my local reality has been violated.
____________________________________________
Happiness = Results / (Expectations)^2

Re: Stress [stephen J] [ In reply to ]

Jan 25, 12 10:01

Post #24 of 30 (7364 views)

stephen J wrote:

Think of it this way: as long as you are putting in the time and effort, you will learn what you need to be competent and pass - that is the job of the department to get you there! The great majority of people pass comps (it makes the department look bad to the university if too many fail). Perhaps finding out the pass rate may reduce some fears?
_______________________________________________________________________
That is not correct from my own experience or from others who I have spoken to. I was the ONLY candidate who received their Ph.D. (molecular genetics) from both the year I entered the program, and the following year. The rest dropped out or bailed with a masters. In terms of life in vs. out of grad school; well, I would say that my post-doc was at least as bad. If you stay in the acedemic world, then the beginning of your career is going to be hard, especially with the situation of grants and the drying up of funding; and the business world introduces you to terms like 'down sizing' and 'reorganization'.

The best advice that I can provide regarding Ph.D. is to ONLY get one if it is the ONLY way to do what you REALLY want to do in life. If there is another way to get there, then do that.

In addressing the OP, stress is just a fact of life. It comes and it goes. It is like in a race where you know that it is going to hurt, but if you find that place where you are OK with the hurt (not that it stops hurting...just being OK with it hurting); and knowing that it will be over eventually, well that seems to help some folks (myself included). Another race anlogy is that if you want to achieve something more than average, you will be going deeper into that 'hurting' area. If you always stay in that comfortable zone, you will never achieve what you are possibly cabable of and maybe wasting that gifts which you were given.

To the OP...Just remember that there is always someone going through something worse that you....You dont have people shooting at you when you go to work, it is unlikely that your child will die from a very treatable disease, you probably will not walk on a landmine while out for a run. If we are logging into this forum, it means off the bat that we have it pretty darn good.

Stephen J

I would guess that the difficulty of comps varies by program. Probably the best thing to do would be to figure it out - if it is just as bad as you feared, then you know. If not, then you know not to be quite as freaked.

I would agree about only getting the PhD if it is absolutely necessary. Kinda wish sometimes that I wasn't...

And I really like your race analogy, btw.

-----

"Alice laughed. `There's no use trying,' she said 'one can't believe impossible things.' `I daresay you haven't had much practice,' said the Queen. `When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!'"

Re: Stress [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]

Jan 26, 12 22:00

Post #25 of 30 (7231 views)

I think there is a difference between stress that you know will end at a particular time and stress that doesn't seem to have an end. Deadlines, new jobs, they all have an end in sight. Eventually you will learn a new job, you know it will happen. A deadline will come, you'll hit it, then it will pass. You can have a very full plate and juggling a lot of things but you can see when some of those things will go away. I've been there. I've lost sleep over deadlines and worried that I won't get the job. I went through an extended unemployment that was terrifying. But I also knew once I found the job the stress would ease. I saw a resolution and I was actively working towards it. Through all of them I was working from a solid foundation which gave me a touchstone.

But then there are stresses where you don't see an end to the pain or sleepless nights. The death of someone. A divorce. Illness. Grief. Chest pains don't ease. You can't eat and every muscle in your body hurts. You're brain cannot be distracted with books or music or exercise. It consumes every part of you and nothing will help. This is where I am now. It is beyond stress. Stress is too small of a word. I would give anything to have the stress of a deadline over what I am experiencing right now. I can't see this ending either. Some things will find resolution but there are so many others to take their place. This is fundamentally changing my life and I have no choice but to experience it.

A friend's son committed suicide this spring. How can you even compare the stress of what she has gone through to a new job?

So I read your post and I understand it. I know how you feel because I have been there. But honestly, I'll trade you so you can feel real stress. You need to figure out how to cope with what you have so when the really important things happen you might stay sane.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce

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