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Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend
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I'm serious... I'm dreading this. I seriously wanted to skip it but my mom said in no uncertain terms, YOU ARE GOING TO GRADUATION.

College graduation is so impersonal - my HS graduation was awesome; I came from a small school so it was a really wonderful ceremony. In contrast, college graduation equals hundreds (if not like a thousand) of us, they don't even do the walk-across-the-stage-and-announce-your-name-and-give-you-a-diploma thing: we all stand up, in groups designated by college - I have NO idea who I am marching beside... I am excited to graduate; I am excited to finally have an ex. sci. degree; the ceremony, I could care less.

In addition: graduation means a whole bunch of other little obligatory things, like tomorrow is a brunch for Honors thesis writers. This is just about my worst nightmare: get really dressed up, stuck somewhere in the middle of a large room with a billion other people, most of whom I don't know, which is anxiety hell for me in the first place.

And then there's a luncheon thing on Saturday that I am fairly sure my presence is requested at.

I wish I could send my family to the brunch and I could disappear to the pool, where it is un-crowded and quiet.

and somehow I will have to eat at these things, and not throw it up... which is another challenge in a high-anxiety situation for me.

this probably sounds completely spoiled and selfish, but I am just absolutely dreading this weekend.

maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD
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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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Firstly- congrats.

Secondly- Grow up! Get over it.

Sorry if that isn't what you want to hear,but you did ask.
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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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Try changing your mindset, instead of dreading it, think of how great it is to finally be done with your undergrad and that your family wants to honor your accompishment.

Do you have any anti-anxiety drugs to take the edge off? Seriously, this should be a fun weekend for you, not anxiety producing.
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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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(1) Do it for your mom.

(2) Mine was 2mos after we finished exams. It was a great chance to blow off an ex-boyfriend who treated me like dirt at our graduation ball that winter. :) I knew it killed him because he wrote me an email a few days later.
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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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I understand your not wanting to go, but I think you have to make yourself go. Try just focusing on one event at a time and getting through that. It's the things that we fear and do anyway that give us strength and help us to grow into better people. I know what you are going through and if you can challenge yourself to attend and participate, you will make it easier for the next time you have to do something similar.
I bet if you don't go, you will still have angst for not participating fully in your achievement and that your family missed out on celebrating with you.
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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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Q: What Would Brian Do?
A: He'd get drunk off his ass and stumble around to most of the things, with nary a care in the world aside from when his beer was empty.

If that doesn't work out for you, plan a swim "treat" after each session where you can go to blow off some steam.


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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [Khai] [ In reply to ]
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I *heart* Khai

I ran this morning and went to yoga; nice to melt into calm for at least a little while.

:P

looking forward to swim and or ride AFTER brunch.

maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD
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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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Dawn, I have an anti-anxiety med that I take daily but not anything 'extra' for this. Well, the only other thing I have is something if I have a panic attack, but that one knocks me out pretty much completely (hmmmm ;-)

I haven't been getting much sleep lately and am just truly tired (and obviously quite cranky). Some of these might be a bit enjoyable without the fatigue but I would like to fall into a deep, dreamless sleep for a good 9 hrs or so more than anything else. Now that school's out I am working; and working + training, is a lot. (I don't know how you all do it :P my college student life is so easy)

maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD
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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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Aylie,

Ok im not going to sugar coat it - college graduation blows. Its boring and long and in many ways a waste of your time. That being said. IT IS ONE OF THE MOST SPECIAL DAYS FOR YOUR PARENTS. Mine were crying like crazy and just ate the whole thing up. I think it symbolizes to them the end of a lot of hard work and sacrifice that they have put in for you and its really their reward not yours. And the receptions are the same thing. My folks loved meeting profs I had and advisors and all that stuff. I think they feel a little disconnected with college since they are not really there and dont get the same exposure as they do in HS. I think it will be more laid back then you think. Everyone is in a great mood since they are graduated and the profs are happy b/c they are done for the year. Its just a big party at those receptions and I know you can get through it!

Cheers mate!

________________________________________________

God's in his heaven, alls right with the world -Nerv
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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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They will group you by college/major, but chances are, yes, you will walk across the stage and they will say your name. So there's that one.

Your parents want to see their 22 years of blood, sweat, and tears paid off. Go for them.

Go for YOU. You've worked hard for years. People are recognizing that. They are giving you a gift of recognition--it may not be the present you'd pick out for yourself, but just like you do when you get an ugly ass sweater for christmas, remember it's the thought that counts, and that people are proud of you. You shoudl be proud of yourself.

For the panic and anxiety: when you feel it coming on, practice your breathing, do any exercises you may have, and if all else fails, snap a rubber band on your wrist. (If you AREN'T seeing someone for panic, do it. CBT is one of the best things I've ever done. It saved my life. Really.)

As for the food...well, no one can fix yoru food issues but you.

Long story short: Go. Enjoy it. Or, if you have to, fake enjoying it...you may suprise yoruself. You may think you're too mature or beyond all the college "junk", but trust me, you're not, and 10 years form now, you'll be like...ah, man, I wish I woudl have let go and enjoyed a bit of it. Seriously. Yes, that sounds like something lame some smelly old peep would say. But it's true. And just becuase I'm a smelly old peep, doesn't mean I'm too old to remember the attitudes I had when I was 22 (and, of course, didn't think I had then).


mmm-mmm-Momo Charms
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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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I'm not really crazy about going to mine either (Med School). It's ALL DAY Sunday. Breakfast at 7:30, All University Convocation at 9:30, Med school graduation at 11:30 then off to a catered lunch until 2:30. (This is in addition to 2 previous days of festivities). That being said, my parents are overwhelmingly proud of me and they are really going to enjoy the day. They've put up with my broke ass the past 30 years and this is the big event to show for it. And since I'm moving away to start my new job in a month, this is one of the few weekends we will get to spend together for the next several years. So just do what I'm going to do. Suck it up, enjoy the weekend as an opportunity to spend with the people that are the most supportive of you, and try to take a minute to reflect on what your achievements mean to YOU. It's a very special thing to be educated. Just be thankful for how fortunate you are.

:-)

Jodi
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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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I didn't go to mine as I was off with the track team at the Big 8 championships. My mother was not happy but she got over it. And that led to a graduate assistant position at Arizona State, so it all worked out.

clm

clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com
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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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but that one knocks me out pretty much completely

Bingo! The solution to your problem! :)

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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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There are so many people that would love to be in your situation, so many that could not even dream of affording college. So get over it and do it for your parents at least, even if you don't appreciate it.
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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [Khai] [ In reply to ]
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Q: What Would Brian Do?
A: He'd get drunk off his ass and stumble around to most of the things, with nary a care in the world aside from when his beer was empty.
Quote:

I only had 2 bottles of champagne during my graduation ceremony, no way was I drunk off my ass, I was lucky at that point to be almost to a buzz.

Brian Stover USAT L1
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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [desert dude] [ In reply to ]
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I survived Honors Thesis Writers Brunch.

My advisor has been very ill for the past month and couldn't come to this ceremony, so I invited my favorite committee member instead - really nice guy with a really nice British accent who is also terribly interested in my training and racing. He said, only half jokingly, "they inconveniently scheduled this during your usual swim time, huh?"

That put me at ease a little bit.

I clung to Ian the whole time, managed to swallow and keep down a couple pieces of fruit salad, and bolted to the pool as soon as it was over. Ohmygod it felt good to walk out on the deck, peace and quiet and familiar.

anyway they gave us what looks like a big coffee cup but I am told is a beer stein? but it is pottery and has the Honors college logo on it. I am all confused. I thought steins were glass.

maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD
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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [Jodi] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:
try to take a minute to reflect on what your achievements mean to YOU

It is cool to finally actually HAVE an exercise science degree, rather than be "studying for an exercise science degree."

The only thing I can find for *me* about tomorrow is it will maybe be a tangible thing to help the transition from undergrad to grad school; since I am staying at the same place for grad school and I DIDN'T go - then next year I would probably still feel like an undergrad; maybe this way I will actually feel like the graduate student I will be at that point.

Which probably sounds lame but I'm pretty awful with transitions of nearly any nature so any little thing can help.

maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD
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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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Glass? plastic? who cares?

The key is that it doesn't tip over easily and it holds copious amounts of liquid. Fill it up with beer, wine, tequila drink and repeat.

Brian Stover USAT L1
Accelerate3 Coaching
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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [desert dude] [ In reply to ]
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Knowing TC it will be water. We need to teach that girl how to paartay!

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce
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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [JenHS] [ In reply to ]
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I think you missed the point, that this is something I just plain don't want to celebrate.

This morning I wrapped birthday gifts for my brother - he's leaving tonight with a friend and driving to Wyoming to climb Devil's Tower (and in other places along the way). He'll be back in three weeks, and gone on his birthday, so at least this way he'll have a stack of presents to open, even if he is away.

I am going to master's practice, where no one knows it is graduation day, and I will have two precious hours of quiet without any mention of school.

I really don't know exactly why I am all upset today, but I just feel unhappy. I wrote in my journal for like an hour last night and can't pinpoint what it is, exactly. There's a whole bunch of little things and maybe they're just adding up.

maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD
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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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Tigerchick - You might not enjoy it - but your parents will. Part of growing up is doing things for other people - even when you don't really want to do them yourself. You make your parents very proud and this is probably more important to them than watching you finish a race. Think of it as a huge mother's day present!

I sort of know how you feel - I'm graduating from my master's program next weekend and my parents are coming (yes, I am almost 45 and they still want to see me graduate again). I'm dreading a long ceremony, but can't wait to hear that it is over!!!

Good luck - be proud of yourself!!!!
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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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Hey Tigerchik,

Congrats on making it through the first phase. I would concur with the other postings on basically just puttin' one foot in front of the other and just .doing. it. I would probably not be the toughlove type, as I have seen posted here. But at the sme time. You have two choices.
1) don't do it, make a big dramatic scene , disappoint people and live the rest of everyone's life with that memory
2) do it, plod through, and I bet as life goes on the bad memories will fade and it will be a relief to you that you made it through.

As for today's luncheon, can you eat before you go and just pick at the lunch? I also have a little trouble eating in an uncomfortable environment. It seems like you are pressing for two tough goals: making it thru the luncheon AND eating....is there any way you can take the pressure off with the eating? Just do what you can and love yourself for it.

And after the whole hoohah is done, treat yourself to a new swimsuit :-)
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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [Ironmom1] [ In reply to ]
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My swim felt good and I was happy for a little bit, now I'm right back into melancholy. I hope I snap out of it when this is over.

They gave me my graduation gift last night, as my brother leaves today and wouldn't be here to see me open it. Mom made a beautiful quilt for me - she loves to sew - the design quilted into it is a wave pattern and the rest of it is squares, made out of smaller rectangles that she said reminded her of lane lines. It is beautiful.

I walked in the door from swimming and there were fresh flowers on the table for me. They're all very nice but I am just not wanting to celebrate this :(

maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD
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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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Could it be that you don't feel like celebrating b/c it doesn't seem like anything is changing? (As in, you're still going to be in school, and you're at the same school?)

Or...could your melancholy come from the fact that you don't really WANT to be done, or are afraid for what may come next? Even if on the surface you feel like "good riddance", leaving college (undergrad) is a big step...and you're saying goodbye to a long, strange, but familiar period of your life (i.e. adolescence and childhood) that won't ever come around again.


mmm-mmm-Momo Charms
Handmade beverage charms, jewelry, and miscellanea

http://momocharms.wordpress.com
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Re: Please convince me I am going to enjoy graduation weekend [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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You parents paid and supported your through College. This is the least you can do for them. Time to change your focus and understand how your actions affect others. This is a key discipline to growing up and functioning successful in the real world, that I mean after college. We cannot always do what we want to do and have to appease others at times for the big picture. One day, one lunch, surely you have suffered more at other times.

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