I'm new here but am a triathlete for many years and I value some of STer's opinions. I need some help from a womens point of view and hope someone can shed some light on this for me.
I am a man going through a divorce, my wife asked for a divorce due to unreconcilible differences, I am also seeing a women now for over 3 months and we are very in love. My new gf is also going through a divorce, however, she has not filed yet for divorce and does not currently live in the same state as me as of yet. Come summer she will move to my town, she says. We just see each other every 4 to 10 days when she comes to my town for work. She works in my town but lives out of state.
She asked me to pay for a boob job for her and I agreed. However, when we got to the plastic surgeons office for the consultation and to plan the date I got cold feet and told her that I could not pay for this right now because of my divorce and how this could effect my soon to be ex wife and my custody of my children and I can not jeapardize my custody situation if me soon to be ex found out about this.
My new GF got very upset with me and says she cannot rely on me and does not trust what I say anymore. In addition, to many other hurtful comments. I feel very upset and horrible. I told her that I would pay for the surgery, just not before my divorce is final, which is on June 2nd. I asked her to plan it for June instead of April or May. She still is not okay with that and says, "what if your divorce is not final by then, then what? I cannot go on that."
Plus, the procedure is much more than I thought and would have funded 5K not 15K, which included a tummy tuck as well, which I also somewhat agreed to. She is not a gold digger, she is actual very rich (her soon to be ex is rich - not her), I am the one who really cannot afford it.
Am I a complete fool? Should I feel bad about this and am I wrong? Is this too much to ask from her? What should I do? Should I expect this from her? Is this a forgiveable thing I did?