Hi all, I figured this might be a good forum for advice on how to help my wife. She is 40, I'm 42, we have 2 kids age 4 and 7.
She had mild anxiety and depression off and on most of her life but she pretty much figured out how to manage it after a lot of counseling and small dose of meds.
Fast forward to today, we have 2 young kids who are great, but present pretty typical young kid challenges. Listening, not fighting with each other, picking up, bedtime and eating are major struggles. They are great kids but raising them is tough. They are normal and healthy.
My wife is totally burned out from them. I'm worried because she has no joy around them and she admits she is sad about this but doesn't know what to do. The kids need positive reinforcement, but she is struggling to get them to follow directions because she can only focus on the negative behaviors.
We talk about this off and on, but tried to talk about it again last night. She acknowledged she is depressed but has no plan to try and defeat it. She is going to wait it out until the kids get older or it goes away. I ask about counseling, but she said she's been through it a bunch of times and they are going to reteach self care and other techniques she already knows.
Any advice? Our relationship is suffering, we don't talk about anything fun anymore. Her relationship with the kids is fine, but could be way better. She stresses me out because she's always frustrated by the kids. She has tons of vacation time this summer, a first for her, but she has no idea how to spend it because she says there is nothing she is excited about anymore. Our family fun time is no fun because we can't go 10 minutes in the car without her yelling at the kids to stop kicking the back of her seat or making certain kid noises.
Thanks for any advice.
Dude, not a women, have not read other replies.. but from reading this, I can really tell you only 1 thing... GET HER MENTAL HEALTH... I have posted some in the lav. room about my journey. I still have issues, and should but am not in therapy, but the drugs I am getting have literally changed my outlook on life. I read what your writing, and can relate, which is kind of scary to me... Lucky for me kids are grown, with younger kids, I don't think I could have handled kids and those feelings... I am totally serious, talk to her Primary or have her do it.. she needs help, sadly the only way to get it for her is for her to decide, but you can support, and suggest, its a very fine line, You can talk to her primary so they know of things to ask, to maybe get her help, you can talk to her, and suggest she gets help (this i feel from personal experience helps a bit but not much) maybe start therapy yourself and then get her to join you..
Sorry to sound scary, but well all I can say is I am glad we did not have a gun in our house... if you do... REMOVE IT dont secure it REMOVE it.. Sorry this may seem over the top, but reading what you wrote and going through what I have.. its all to familiar. Yup I have had a bit to much drink...
okay daughter interrupted went back to your post.. she admits she is sad about this but doesn't know what to do. ,,,, She acknowledged she is depressed but has no plan to try and defeat it. She is going to wait it out until the kids get older or it goes away. I ask about counseling, but she said she's been through it a bunch of times and they are going to reteach self care and other techniques she already knows. BULLSHIT, she needs drugs... sorry to be so blunt, I thought I needed therapy, but ended at a PA that did mental health drugs. Once they got the right drugs it was night and day.. no I mean literally you hear people say, they day's just seem to be brighter.. its true... my sister had the same revelation.. working to find the right combo for my daughter.. unfortunately it takes times, but when they get the right ones it takes day..
Yes I am overly passionate about this, thanks to a brain tumor I lost to many years of my life sitting around, at times, nearly lost my life... if you want to PM me.. feel free... With little ones in the picture this is not something, i feel you can sit by and wait for.. I lost teens to 20s with my kids. I mean I was partially there for things, but was not there like I know now I could have been. with younger kids, I really don't want to think about it..
Liking ST more since finding the block user post option.
Triathlete since 9:56:39 AM EST Aug 20, 2006.
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