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Lean In
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Has anyone read the book Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg? I just read the article Time published last month about her and the book. It sounds interesting and frustrating at the same time.

Here's a link to her TED talk. She's inspirational for sure, but I feel so depressed after watching it.
http://www.ted.com/...w_women_leaders.html
Last edited by: QRgirl: Apr 5, 13 17:56
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Re: Lean In [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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My very best friend actually recommended it to me today. She's been dealing with corporate America, struggling with it and she said it was a great read. I just lost my biggest and most important client last week and that's why she told me to read it.

Susan Harrell
http://www.endurancezone.com

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Re: Lean In [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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I have it but haven't started reading it yet. I imagine it will look very familiar to me.

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Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce
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Re: Lean In [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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There was a review of it in the Economist - I do want to read it. I have pretty strong opinions about gender equality in the workplace, so I am curious to see how I react to it.

AP

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"How bad could it be?" - SimpleS
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Re: Lean In [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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Give the TED talk a look. It's 15 minutes and quite interesting.

I'm the sole female in my work group, with a manager who is vey nice and is of the LDS persuasion. His last 5 hires have all been male and 3 of those 5 also LDS. Two of the LDS had no industry experience. We are about to have another opening in our group as the only other woman on our team went on long term disability and won't be returning. I fear that we will get yet another man on our team and there's a good chance he will also be LDS. I'm frustrated by the thought of this but fear voicing my fear/frustration to my boss or his boss or HR.
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Re: Lean In [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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That's interesting. There was a whole team at a former employer that was all LDS too. All BYU graduates. HR finally had to come and break it up.

And I hear you about being the only woman on the team. I cannot count how many meetings I've been in with a dozen guys and me. Just this last year I was in a huge meeting with 23 men and 2 women. I was one of the women. I counted. It is absurd and the numbers are getting worse in my industry, not better.

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Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce
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Re: Lean In [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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What I like about her: she is not afraid to be a feminist while running a youth-centric (Facebook) company AND she announced an all-staff meeting that she leaves work at 5:30 pm to be with her family. She also says that her husband is her partner, in the true sense of the word, and he also runs a company and is quite busy so supposedly, neither one takes a back seat to their 2 kids. Now how the HELL does anyone else get to do this? She admits that she does not have all the answers and I appreciate her honesty and her willingness to push women.

I think she wants is to inspire women to not hold back and I like her challenge. Women should challenge other women to be better. I just don't think the infrastructure or understanding is there for us to achieve this on a large scale or even a small scale. She is an anomaly and I wish it wasn't so. TIMES HAVE CHANGED. I see more daddies at the park in the middle of the day now than I can believe. Women are supporting themselves and more often a family and we need to address this and stop sacrificing ourselves in the work place.

Erin, the LDS hiring is absolute BS and no I don't think it's your imagination. Do they hire via committee? Perhaps you can contact HR and ask some not so subtle questions about equality in the workplace and hiring practices. I also should state I fully support people's rights to their religious beliefs and practices but not when it comes to fairness in hiring.

Thanks for the interesting topic. Not triathlon related but something most of us face.
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Re: Lean In [trailbait] [ In reply to ]
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Now how the HELL does anyone else get to do this?

Nannies. Their net worth is in the tens of millions. In the Time magazine article she refused to answer a question regarding domestic help.
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Re: Lean In [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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One day when I was still at a "large software company" I looked around at all the director level and above and a vast majority of them were men who's wives didn't work. That's why they can work crazy hours and climb the corporate ladder. They had someone taking care of home life. Stay at home husbands would allow women to do the same but you just never saw that 10-15 years ago.

I need to read the book before I get on a tangent :-)

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Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce
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Re: Lean In [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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QRgirl wrote:
Now how the HELL does anyone else get to do this?

Nannies. Their net worth is in the tens of millions. In the Time magazine article she refused to answer a question regarding domestic help.

And the more power to them for having the money to hire someone to look after their kids as they do. I don't see the difference between middle class working parents dropping their kids off at daycare - except the kids are getting more one to one time with the nanny - and a hire power couple having a nanny. Non-working parents (thinking of famous folks here with armies of nanies) with nannies who can't be bothered to raise their kids? Great dislike. Working parents with nannies? All good for me. Someone needs to be with the kids so why not someone who seems to enjoy them who can make a living doing it while allowing both parents to continue on with work?


One day when I was still at a "large software company" I looked around at all the director level and above and a vast majority of them were men who's wives didn't work. That's why they can work crazy hours and climb the corporate ladder. They had someone taking care of home life. Stay at home husbands would allow women to do the same but you just never saw that 10-15 years ago.


This. This is what gets me. Why is it okay to rip women apart for doing what men have been doing for centuries? I'm in a similar working environment. Mostly men with SAHW who have the gull to tell me I should hurry up and have kids because I don't know what I'm missing. Funny, I often wonder when they see their kids, let alone spend quality time with them.

The reviews I've read about the book have lead me to question the reviewers stance on working women more than anything. I plan on picking up the book and learning a thing or two!

Thanks for the Ted link.
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Re: Lean In [genkigirl1] [ In reply to ]
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With or without kids in the equation, we don't have equality in the workplace yet and with so many women in the workplace, things need to start evolving. Women are providers, either for themselves or for their families, and they need to have the same opportunities as men. Growing up, I watched my mom go through so much at work, I remember one time when she asked for a raise her boss told her, "You make a lot for a woman in this town." You have to wonder if that type of thinking doesn't still linger in some way...?


At my previous job in academia, there were men running the show with a few women in management. In my particular group, those few women were not good to their staff. The rest of the staff (support staff) were all women. The women were either young and not married or older and returned to the workplace after raising kids. The older women tended to be bitter about being in supportive roles, most of them returned to work after their husbands retired so they could pull down a small salary but mostly to provide health care benefits. I was the only baby-maker (note that my male boss made a point of telling me that all of his son's wives were stay at home moms) and I pushed for part-time employment after I had my son and got it for 2 years before they replaced me with a full time person. They did offer me my job back full-time before they hired someone, but I declined.

Rather than focus on being a full time mom, I am going back to school to update my skills and pursue a more fulfilling career. My son is in part time Montessori school and I have a lot of help from my husband and my parents. I often wonder if I am making the right decision but I think about those older women who were so miserable and I don't want to spend the second half of my life like that. I am pushing myself at a time when I should be focusing on my kiddo and taking a needed break from my career pursuits. I've been working since I was 17 years old and haven't taken any real time off, I even worked while I was in school previously, but I plan to take this summer off and hang out with my son (but trust me I will also be working on my portfolio).

If the roles were reversed and my husband took time off to raise our son, I don't think he would expect to return to the workplace in a support role. So our expectations are different even in an imaginary situation and it does affect decision making.

I think what she is trying to do with "Lean In" is help women think differently about their goals and to be more assertive and go for it, regardless of whether or not women plan to take time off for raising kids. Whether or not this is welcome advice to women or to their employers is the question. I think assertive/ambitious females are still viewed poorly and that women struggle with how to take power. I saw it in the women in power positions at my work, it was not my imagination, they acted terribly and regularly demeaned their staff in order to create power for themselves. I avoided them and tried to stay away from their projects when I could. The turnover in their support staff was high too.

I hope we are in a state of change regarding women in the workplace and I think women do need to take some responsibility in that and that we need other women to lead us in the best ways to do that. I also think we need to push men to view us as TRUE partners and equals in the work place. I think I am seeing more marriages look like partnerships but I am still shocked by some marriages and how women are trying to do it all while the men act incompetent at home. (yuck)

(I might have had too much coffee this morning)
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Re: Lean In [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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I haven't read the book, but I do feel like it's a balance thing for most families. Unless you have the money for a full time nanny, it is extremely difficult for the husband and the wife to both be very successful in corporate America. You can't both put in the mega hours and attend all the happy hours, conferences, etc that it takes to get ahead while taking care of the kids.

And for most families, it's the mother who has the mommy guilt and makes the sacrifice, whether it's staying home with the kids or being more of an individual contributor than career chaser. As one of my former bosses (also a mom, who kids are now grown) put it - 'good soldier' mode.

Even when both parents work, one parent is usually the one who stays home with sick kids, who's there to drop the kids off at 8:15 for kindergarten and who is always there to pick them up, take them to soccer/swim lessons/tutoring, whatever. And all that stuff adds up in terms of career advancement.
Last edited by: Elsa: Apr 7, 13 15:23
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Re: Lean In [Elsa] [ In reply to ]
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Bingo. Now add in stuff like Ironman/Ultras. And a second business. Ugh. No wonder I have no balance in my life ;-) Just kidding - It was really bad before I changed jobs. Now, I work 8:30 to 5:00 most days, and aside from the business travel bit, my boss (COO) is completely supportive of me & my family/non-work life. Ditto his boss (my CEO). I took a significant pay cut from my last position to get this balance, but for me an extra $10K/year (of which 50% would disappear in taxes and another 25% in support for the ex) makes little to no difference. I leaned back, consciously, as it were. Funny thing is now that I'm in a much larger organization, there are countless more opportunities to lean in - and I get to pick and choose to a large extent. As my daughter gets older, and more self-sufficient, I get to take on more and more of those opportunities. Sure things got "delayed" on the career path by almost 10 years by having my child, but I get a smile on my face everytime I get to show her how to (hopefully) be a strong woman who gets to make choices for herself.

My ramblings. Better go get that book - and leave it on my desk so my boss can see it hahaha ;-)

AP

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"How bad could it be?" - SimpleS
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Re: Lean In [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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Ok, let's all read the book (mine is on it's way) and report back. We can have an online book club discussion.
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Re: Lean In [JenSw] [ In reply to ]
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I essentially have this environment right now. I'm in sales at a large company in the health insurance industry. I personally work with a somewhat niche product, though obviously we cover the gamut as a company. The company has one of those reward trips for the top 20% performers (only 2 in my segment qualify). For the record, this is the first trip they've sponsored in five years - week long trip in Florida. We're just over one month from the thing & no official word has been released yet - no invites, no plans, nothing. It's never been more obvious to me that I'm in a role where they are traditionally one-income families. How can people otherwise plan to be gone for an entire week? I know, first-world problem for sure, but still....

Like others, I have the book but haven't read it yet. I'm on the fence about the overall message. I LOVE the thought of pushing towards equality, I'm a BRILLIANT example of the fact that we're not there yet, but I'm also an example of the progress that's been made. I'm a hard-charging, strong-willed, YOUNG woman in this industry (especially in this product) who has turned some heads by asking hard questions & not taking no for an answer. I routinely question authority (to their chagrin) & have been both rewarded & bitten by that. I LOVE the concept of the book & the challenge that it issues. I've heard the flip side of the argument from those that have ALREADY been leaning in & HAVE been doing the hard work already. I like reading the rebuttals of Merson's book as much as I'm enjoying the empowerment message.

I don't know how to have it all - I know I can't keep my current schedule of work & training if/when I have a family. (I have to find someone willing to endure this lifestyle & who can try to understand these priorities first...) I simply don't have enough energy or hours to give to everything. I'm not sure that women - or men - can have it all. It has to be a balance & I think that looks different for everyone. I'm still much to selfish to give up the things I want to prioritize someone else's (be it man or child) needs/wants. I'm living for ME & haven't figured out how to adapt that to an US or a YOU yet. I think our lives probably have stages where our priorities adjust to our circumstances (or we adjust our circumstances to our priorities). I worry about others projecting their priorities onto others &/or creating an environment where we have an undue pressure placed upon us - like society already has this projected image of "beauty"...are we now creating & projecting this image of "successful" as well? Are we endangering women of any age to feel less than if they aren't a CEO or management-level with 2.4 kids, a dog, house, a Beemer & a stud husband? Is there a problem with someone being adequate at a job, getting reasonable reviews but not wanting to be the ladder-climber if they have a higher priority on being a stay-at-home-mom or a "spend more time at home mom" or even just want to be a "work less play more chick"?

AW
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Re: Lean In [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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Finished it three days ago - AMAZING READ. I loved the analogy of "it's not a ladder, it's a jungle gym" and it was a mindfuck (pardon my language) to know that other women have my same problem of feeling guilty/inadequate at work. When I've mentioned this feeling of "I'll get caught" to therapists, they act like I'm insane. Apparently, rather common!

I can't emphasize enough how much I love the concept of a true partnership. I'm not sure my fiance likes the fallout (my expecting him to step up on his chores more) but it makes my life better to understand that forced feeling of obligation to carry the weight of the house chores.

The statistics broke my heart. When a woman succeeds, men and women begrudge her. I wish she had been more prescriptive, but the directive to boost each other's work is close to my heart - I never brag about my own work but am completely relieved when someone does it for me. Something I need to do more for other women!

Quick and easy read, though emotionally heavy as I took to heart so much of what she pointed out.


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You. You make me stronger.
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Re: Lean In [AWARE] [ In reply to ]
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I love this discussion. I love the idea of leaning back too and not feeling pressured to climb the ladder. I think the whole point of feminism was to have the choice and we are forgetting that it is a choice and that we need to be happy with whatever choice we make. Defining success should be internal, what is successful and happy to you, not what they try to sell you as the American dream. I am always evaluating my life and looking at my friends to see who is happy and feeling fulfilled and it's cyclical.

(the following are generalizations with some specific examples...)

I feel fortunate to have friends at various ages, some friends in their 60s who are going through divorce, some who are retiring, etc. Who looks happiest at that age? People who are committed to their family and to their hobbies/passions. People who pursue life. People at this age tend to be either liberated by their lifestyle/goals or they are still struggling. A successful Dr. friend left his wife for a younger woman (what is up with that cliche?) A couple that had mediocre careers are retired and so busy with their hobbies, they are doing great and some of the happiest people I know. An artist friend at this age is trying to relaunch and achieve a higher level of success and feels the pressure and excitement around that. Who you are at 60 is really interesting.

I have friends in their 40s who are hitting their stride in their careers and feeling the stress of that. Some seem happy but it is such a busy time, it can be hard to connect with people. I am newly 40 and find I don't connect that well with people at this age since they are so locked into their ways and lifestyles. I think forty is a good time for reflection and figuring out what makes you happy. Is it really success at work? Is it really raising a family? Things are so busy at this age, you almost don't have time to think, you just go go go.

I have friends in their 20s (since I am in school myself and have sitters for my son at this age) and most at this age lack ambition or think it is a bad word. They don't seem that into career chasing, it might just be the people I know, but they seem more about lifestyle. One kid put it best to me when he said, "I don't want to work that hard." I tried to encourage some artistic young women I know to submit to a local publication that was holding an art competition and one of them said, "I'm not an ambitious type of person like that." They seem to put personal happiness before stress and they are all very into pop culture and having lots of time for that. One of my son's former sitters got a decent job out of college and then got another offer to work part time promotions for a radio station. She worked both for a year but she is now quitting to go be a nanny in New Zealand. This was after she got another offer at her alma mater in her career field. I applaud her for walking away from her career path, I couldn't do that myself.

They don't seem to have the same paranoia regarding success that I had at that age. I worked my ass off in my 20s. I would like to work less and still feel successful, like those crazy Europeans with all their vacation time, health benefits, and childcare subsidies.
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Re: Lean In [trailbait] [ In reply to ]
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I'm an exec at a Fortune 500 technology company - 49, 3 kids (8, 18, 21) and two older stepkids - I currently manage to fit in running and shorter tris, maybe 8 hours or so a week of training. I have leaned back at times in my career but have also leaned in and taken risks, and at this point I have found an integration of all of it that works most days. I bought the book on my kindle the other day, only partway through but it has a lot of good advice. I plan to buy it for my soon-to-be college graduate daughter and her friends. I was the girl who was afraid to raise her hand and ask questions as a grad student, for fear all my male fellow students would see how little I knew. Bet none of them felt that way....I managed to get a technical Ph.D. and have managed my way through a career in a male dominated field but would have loved to have read something like this 20 years ago....
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Re: Lean In [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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I don't really feel the need to read it. It's sort of like why do I need someone who has lots of money and luck telling me to "lean in." Besides I read books for enjoyment, not preaching.

kelly dunleavy o'mara
@kellydomara
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Re: Lean In [trailbait] [ In reply to ]
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Truly, I see this as well - I'm 28 and working my ass up the ladder in a male dominated field (technology and management consulting) and see so few of my female friends setting goals, let alone reach goals. While I greatly respect the field of education, I do not think my female friends employed in this field challenge themselves to become thought leaders, but rather settle for comfortable positions being queen over 30-odd 2nd graders. Those that don't live with roommates are dependent on a significant other's income to afford their desired standards of living.

I work long hours on my client site, contribute to white papers, prepare sales pitches, and am working on a certification. Even if the pay was comprable, you couldn't find me choosing to sit down and read 30 kids' essays or grading the same math tests year after year after year. My work is challenging and fulfilling, and I don't want to settle for the safe position.

After I was laid off last year, a headhunter reached out to me for a job 3 titles higher than my last. I was apprehensive, feeling not worthy or prepared, as I lacked the experience (apparently common among women to not reach). My fiance urged me to take the job and demonstrate that while I didn't have the experience the employer wanted to see on my resume, I had a great capacity to learn. I just finished my first year with the company and had my year end review, where I was ranked "exceeds all expectations" - I leaned in. While it was not my initial (or secondary or tertiary) inclination, it ended up being a great career choice. I have even been blunt with my bosses that if they rank me at this level, I will look forward to a promotion next year (hint hint, lol).

I think we all have the capacity to lean in, but make a lot of safe decisions to avoid things that are hard. While feminists of the past worked so hard to give us choice, as Sandberg pointed out, the majority still choose to be stay-at-home moms. I love the idea of being a "career-oriented parent" and minimizing the impact of having a family upon my career.


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Re: Lean In [Agilecipher] [ In reply to ]
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God your post made me feel better. I'm 32 & struggle with this a bit. As I said above, I'm a hard-charging person that's keen to find the next challenge. I bought a house at 27, have relocated to 2 brand-new cities since then (still own that bleeping house) & have stayed in a male-dominated (& older skewed) industry. My previous 2-4 (depending on how you qualify if) relationships have broken up because of the difference in priorities, the willingness to challenge status quo & lean/reach however I wanted....my mom worked an a-typical management-level job & had to in hard in that role. She permanently changed quite a few of "the guys'" perceptions during her career.

I took a new position about 18 months ago, reaching outside my comfort zone based on the challenge & my adaptive capacity. I've questioned myself, almost every decision and every step since. But I had a successful year with a couple of sales that were unexpected & that I had to work really hard for. Despite that - being #2 in sales, top 20%, exceeding region-specific goals by over 200%, overall goal by almost 9% - I've still been left feeling inadquate & incapable. I'm struggling to remember it's not me - I AM capable and I AM a proven asset. It's just a role I'm not meant for - whether it's because I'm a woman, because I'm NOT afraid to ask hard questions, because I'm a "farmer" & not a "hunter" or some other reason I'm not sure - but as I'm looking around to plan my next step it's a real crossroads.

I think it's about choosing what's right at a given point - nothing has to be permanent - and recognizing the cycle of progression that's right for me. Reach, adapt, steady, question, challenge, reach, adapt.....Personally & professionally, we should never stop growing & we should never stop "leaning". But if others don't want to lean - if they are happy being a teacher that doesn't push the envelope then that's great for them (though there are definitely teachers that are raising the bar higher & that do keep themselves challenged & engaged) but I'm a leaner.

Maybe our priorities change as the cycles go....maybe I'm a corporate leaner for now but maybe if/when I have children I'll hit "idle" on a job & pursue that parenting gig leaning full bore (I refuse to have mediocre children...) or maybe I can make the "career-oriented parent" thing work too.....

AW
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Re: Lean In [AWARE] [ In reply to ]
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Isn't it funny how easy it is to set race goals and push ourselves, but so very difficult to set career goals and expect success?

Huge congratulations on your work success. That shows great drive and initiative (things I'm sure translate to other aspects of your life).

When I was introduced to my fiance, we had both hit our stride in careers and life. We were comfortable and laying out life goals. It was amazing to find someone who, like me, wanted to get married in a couple years, have kids a couple years after that, and so on. It was a priority to each of us (with other characteristics) to find a mate on the same schedule. Good luck finding that (and yay for being independent so it's a choice!)


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You. You make me stronger.
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Re: Lean In [Agilecipher] [ In reply to ]
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I never brag about my own work but am completely relieved when someone does it for me.

This used to be one of my biggest weaknesses. I was not comfortable promoting myself and what I had accomplished at work. When I got passed over for a promotion, of which I met all the criteria according to our corporate career guidelines, because I didn't toot my own horn enough for my boss, I was PISSED. And it lit a fire under my butt, that nobody is going to champion me except me. My boss is nice (once again the LDS guy, who adores the other LDS guys that he has hired and the other famly men on my team.) I'm sure he thinks I'm spawn of the devil as I waited until I was 42 to marry and do not plan on having kids. He champions them, not me. I brought this up to him once and it did not go well at all. I now make a habit to save every e-mail with any amount of praise or recognition from him or his boss. I started a document that I update monthly that lists above and beyond work and or recognition. I just had to send him a message that I was so happy to have advanced to #1 and in our region for sales for my lead product, because he has not acknowledged it. Frustrating. Infuriating.

I think it's important for women to learn how to tout their achievements, because it doens't come naturally to us. Men on the other hand are good at it.

I'm still waiting on the book, but the part of her message in the TED talk that I liked, was Lean In until the moment you are ready to lean out. Don't base career choices and goals on things that might happen (kids/relationships.) I remember when I was about to buy my first house at age 30-ish and a guy asked, well what if you get married? Ummm, I'm not going to delay purchasing a house based on a relationship that may or may not happen dumbfuck.

I really, really wish I would have heard her message 20 years ago.



Last edited by: QRgirl: Apr 8, 13 21:22
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Re: Lean In [QRgirl] [ In reply to ]
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I keep writing long replies to this but they are scattered because I have so much to say!

My sister-in-law posted this on her Facebook timeline, which I reposted:



The response I got was so interesting. From a woman:

IDK on that one -- "My mom always says that being boss and being bossy aren't the same" (from Space Camp) was a favorite (and meaningful) quotation for me growing up.

Being quiet does not lead to being the boss.

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Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce
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Re: Lean In [trailbait] [ In reply to ]
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I have friends in their 20s (since I am in school myself and have sitters for my son at this age) and most at this age lack ambition or think it is a bad word. They don't seem that into career chasing, it might just be the people I know, but they seem more about lifestyle. One kid put it best to me when he said, "I don't want to work that hard." I tried to encourage some artistic young women I know to submit to a local publication that was holding an art competition and one of them said, "I'm not an ambitious type of person like that." They seem to put personal happiness before stress and they are all very into pop culture and having lots of time for that.

I think this is an interesting comment. I'm not living in my native country anymore and am often surprised at how little ambition people my age have "back home" when I visit. Frankly, I think my generation (I'm 36) is the beginning of the "entitlement" era. No one really seems to want to put the work in anymore but most folks, men and women, seem to expect to climb the ladder all while coasting. Indeed, there are exceptions and those exceptions are rocking and rolling at work - though yes, the men more than the women even though I feel the women are more intelligent out of the group.

I also can't help but feel "let down" by the women who throw in the towel, quit FT jobs with great benefits and whatnot to stay home and be a mom because "they're tired". I question if we can all "have it all" because let's be honest, the men certainly don't have it all. Many of them don't get to see their kids as much as they want due to work. In some ways, women have a better balance than the men with regards to family and work. Certainly not perfect by any means but as long as women are quitting to stay at home, the dog eat dog world the men (and women) are in, will stay as it is because everyone is worries about lsoing their job, not being able to support themselves, their family... I think if both spouses are happy for wife to stay home then great. Same for husbands who want to stay home. However, I know very few men who are truly happy to have a wife at home and be the sole income winner. Many of the guys I work with bitch endlessly about their wives who stay home and how hard they work because their wives refuse to go back to work even when the kids are in ele school. I do wonder if the guys many of you work with are truly happy with that set up. Frankly, I wouldn't be happy if my husband just decided to quit work if we had kids because that wasn't the deal I signed up for when we got married. I don't think many of these guys did either. Being a mom is great and I certainly don't question women who want to stay at home because that's where they want to be but recently it seems that so many women are staying home because work is too much for them., not because they want to be home. I don't know, I could be wrong on this. I'm a childless, married women so I tend to get backs up when speaking about such things! ;)

I'm posting this because it made me laugh. Then I got pissed off about the title. Would it be as "cute" if it was a little boy saying the same thing? I highly doubt it. That being said, I think her parents are raising her well.


http://www.upworthy.com/this-girl-has-some-demands-for-her-future-husband-if-she-gets-married-2?c=ufb1

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