She also has insanely high standards, expects to be perfect etc. House has to be perfectly clean. If she has friends over she has to make something special. I think a lot of this is common among women today with various sources inflicting these types of things.
Almost anything we could attempt to do, stresses her out. If I try and do more stuff around the house (I promise I do quite a bit, or marital issues aren't related to the level of effort I put in) it throws her off, especially because I can't do it perfectly her way. Getting a cleaning service to come in once a month would stress her out, if nothing else due to the money than being upset if they clean and don't put things back perfectly.
I can't simply say "Lower your standards, you're making yourself miserable." That clearly won't work. But I don't know if I can, or if is is feasible, to help her have more reasonable expectations. We're going to see a marriage counselor, so hopefully that will help. We had our first session yesterday. She isn't going back for at least 2 weeks, and going will stress her out more.
She's at her wits end, and I'm really worried that she'll implode or explode. Has anyone been able to help you with similar issues?
Our son goes to "school" three days a week (M/W/F) for 3 hours. On Monday's when he's at school she does a church women's group. Twice a week she goes to Zumba. Once a month two different mom groups do a night out. I feel like there would be some decent chances for her to relax a little, but seemingly none of that helps. It's not enough? Not the right kind of stuff?