Can he at least tell them that week is bad timing and have them reschedule?

Good luck with this, I don't have in laws, but my former beau's parent came and stayed with us for a week once and I wanted to jump off a cliff.

No. They will come to visit anyways. Last year they wanted to visit during our high volume training time over a weekend when we have about 4 big training things....a 100 mile bike ride, a long run, a long swim and a social function. Then they changed their mind and wanted to visit the week we were leaving for the race and the first week of a new job! They are very sendentary and the whole triathlon lifestyle makes no sense to them.

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Can you hear me now?

Hopefully your husband is okay with "hosting" his parents solo?? Knowing you're going to be training and otherwise sleeping... :) Maybe if you remind him that he'll really be 'on his own', he'd try to convince them to come the following week... at least then you'll be resting and possibly too tired to let their antics annoy you!

Or offer to go visit them the following week??

I'm sure that doesn't sound any more appealing...

Good luck.

I really hate to put things in terms like this but sometimes we just need a little different perspective.

At least they're around and they care enough to see you.

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Hurry Up Every Chance You Get

(formerly LuctorEtEmergo)

True but it doesn't really fix the problem does it?

I'd make it clear to them and your husband that you will not be available to spend the kind of time with them that you'd like. If they come and complain you can always state that you let them know ahead of time and you can't change your plans.

Doesn't necessarily fix the problem either but at least you are working to set the correct expectations as best you can.

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Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce

My ex-husband's parents parked themselves at our place (back when we were married) during the week of my first triathlon. They didn't want to get up early to go watch and insisted that my husband stay behind and entertain them while I went off to do my "tri thing". At the time I was disappointed with his choice, but now I realize it was a few hours that I didn't have to put up with them.
In the long term, I would say that if you don't like something they do/say then tell them directly yourself. No point in waiting or expecting your husband to do it for you. He probably doesn't even realize how much they annoy you because they're his family.
In the short term, let him deal with them and go do your training. It will be the few times during the week that you won't have to see them and they can't micromanage your ride/run/swim. If they came during recovery or taper, you'd have to spend more time with them.
Good luck!

You could always stay in a hotel.

I am kind of weird, as I wouldn't mind staying in a hotel while my mum-in-law would visit.

No, I do not like my current mum-in-law.

Let him look after them.

Go and stay at a friend's house or motel for the week.

Whether they understand or not , frankly is irrelevant.

Should you be heading off to Beijing the following week do you think they would invade your life ( even though they are sedentary and do not undrstand the "triathlon thing" ).

Giving everything you've in an Ironman takes an enormous amount of siscipline , commitment , planning AND REST. I would bet my bike on the fact that you would be unable to get sufficient rest with them staying in your "tiny" house.

Ironman is something that requires lots of sacrifices. Your husband sounds reasonably understanding and as a spouse I hope is supportive. It is time for him to step up to the plate and advise that although regrettable , you are busy in a training phase for a large athletic event and you will be unavailable , but greatly look forward to their next visit.

Sincerely

Terry

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"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream" - Les Brown
"Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment" - Jim Rohn

How about making a hotel reservation for them and paying for it too? Or at the first mention of them not being comfortable in your home or criticizing you, pack them and take them to the Best Western.

If you stand your ground this time, maybe they will visist less or get a hotel on their own next time...

"My husband won't tell them no even though they drive him crazy as well and I don't feel that it is my call to tell them no."

Sounds like your husband needs to stand up to his parents. He should tell them not to come that week or to stay in a hotel. If he won't do it, tell him that you will.

x2. nail on the head.

Sounds to me like it's a perfect week for them to come. You will be off training for 20 hrs that week. That means you won't have to spend that 20 hrs with them when they are in town. They will have to find something to entertain themselves!

L

give me a break, a week? that's entirely too long especially for a small house.

OMG, I so had to chime in because I have the divorced inlaws from hell. Used to think I sounded like a cliche about the M-I-L but then friends & family met her and realized that she truly is mentally ill. I'm on a roll, been 4 months and no contact -- whoo-hoo!

• A week is WAAAY too long -- even for my favorite uncle to stay. Unless I have a house with a separate wing & facilities, like fish, house guests go bad after 3 days.
• Hubby needs to A, either speak up; or, B, take care of HIS parents. I disagree with some prevailing theories, you married him, not his parents.
• I like the get a hotel idea. Or get them a hotel. Time to be honest with them, preferably your hubby, that the house is too small, you've invested way too much in IM to "entertain."

In some circumstances, I "buy" the they care enough to visit, but there's some seriously fooked up parents out there (see Paragraph 1 about my inlaws), and don't be so sure they aren't descending to criticize, manipulate and otherwise guilt trip grown children who have their own lives.

Agree with QRGirl on th hotel idea as I recently went through this with my PITA in-law's visiting from FL last month (we have a small house also). Last time they visited a few years back was during a big build period for me before IMWI; I still got my workouts in but adjusted my schedule so that my wife wasn't stuck dealing with them all day long while I was out riding etc. When they came last month for our daughter's christening, we had even less space for them since our guest room was now a nursery so we split the bill with them for a nearby hotel. Also gave us a break where they weren't at the house 24/7 driving us nuts.

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"You can never win or lose if you don't run the race." - Richard Butler

OHHHH I feel your pain. Anytime my in-laws visit they constantly bitch about my training, whether it's light or heavy. They also bitch about our spending habits, the way we raise our kids and anything else that makes them feel better about themselves. They're in-laws, that's what they do. Just suffer through and be thankful they don't come more often!

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I have failed at many things, but never in my desire to try again.