She led an excruciating difficult life. Was wed at 14 I think, after being raped by my Grandpa (and being told "I now own you"). She gave birth to my mom at 16 years old and then my uncle 5 years later. Was beaten, humiliated, and made to feel positively worthless while married to my Grandpa. She babysat, worked odd jobs, picked grapes, did anything she could to help provide for her family. She did her best to be a 'good wife' because that is what she was taught to do but after 40 some years of marriage told my Grandpa to kiss off and moved out on her own. In dealing with the 40 years of shit marriage she became an alcoholic and drank away her past. But, eventually she choose the right road; healing and moving on. Once she turned her life around, LIFE, indeed sprang forth.
She is the most giving, compassionate, honest, heart warming woman. As a teenager (with a sister that beat the crap out of me but I was to afraid to tell anyone) she was my refuge. I had my first "drink" with my Grandma on a Friday night. I just needed to get away from home, and it was Grandma's house I choose to rest. There were so many things I could talk to my Grandma about that I couldn't talk to anyone else about. She was always there, always listening and ALWAYS loved me despite what I told her. She told me the truth; told me when I was being smart and dumb. She was essentially a compass for me during the difficult stages of my life.
Over the course of the last year and a half she has had several strokes that has caused her speech to slur. Before I realized she had strokes, I asked my mom if she was 'hitting the bottle' again because it seemed like every time I called her she had a hard time getting words out. Slowly over the last 6 months her body has been deteriating. Then, last week she fell.
Now a normal person that has one of those emergency necklace button things would have pushed it after they fell. Oh no....the one thing I've failed to mention was how damn stubborn my grandma is. Once she left my Grandpa she decided that whatever she did, it would be HER way. I don't blame her....she finally gets to choose how her life looks. But she fell at 10pm and tried (she told me this) EIGHTEEN times to get up and finally pushed the button at 6am. The woman tried for EIGHT hours to get herself up. This last week her body is giving it up more and more. She fell again tonight and now thinks her hip is broken. But she absolutely refuses to go to the ER. She is in horrible pain and has told my parents to put her to bed because she isn't going to the hospital; if she dies she is dying in her house.
My mom is going to call the Dr. tomorrow morning and go from there. But from my mom's tone, it sounds like the clock for my Grandma is really on a countdown now.....she (my mom) has all but told me to get prepared for the phone call because she thinks it will be soon.
My heart, to say the least is broken. I love this woman so much. I can't imagine not hearing her voice, even her slurry one at that, again. And then there is my mom. She is even closer to my Grandma than I am. I simply cannot imagine her fear and pain right now. I feel so completely helpless.
Life is Short...Run Long