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IM training - not conducive for romance
 
My wife is training for her first IM, Kona no less since she won a lottery spot. She's on a very strict training regime which she follows to the tee. She's a teacher so it wasn't too bad in the summer but now she's back to work. This means getting up at 5:00 AM to drive an hour to the nearest pool and falling asleep exhausted in the evening at 8:30. I've been doing more chores, cooking, etc and trying to help out more but she's been very irritable (dare I say the "B" word). Fortunately she's starting her taper soon and I'm actually looking forward to Kona being over with so life can return to normal. Sprints, Olys and halfs are fun and manageable, but this IM thing is totally different.

IM training doesn't lend itself very well to romantic candle lite late night evenings or sporadic weekend getaways. If I ever became single again I'd definately cross IM women off my list of potential relationships.

I'm curious - how do you IM gals do it and still maintain a romantic relationship?
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
 
What's a relationship? I think that gives you an idea how I'm doing lol.

And you're looking forward to taper? Check back with us when you're there because I think you may be singing a different tune about it then than you are now. :P


______________________________________
I know I'm promiscuous, but in a classy way
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
 
*I have not done an IM so take it with a grain of salt.

You have to make the time for other stuff other then training. I trained the most I have ever trained this year, getting some good results for me.

But there were days when I said NO to the training to do other stuff, like hang out on the boat w/ my husband or to go to the cottage and chillax.

Training is fun but at the end of the day, all you have to show is some fitness and a finishers medal. I'd much rather have a warm happy content husband beside me in bed then all that.



Proud member of the Guru Cartel, EH!
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
 
Well since I met my husband at a tri, and we'd both already done an IM, and we found a way to mix some of our together time and training. We start and end long rides together (and do our own workouts for the main part of it). We also make runs in fun places part of trips we do take. I think it works for us since both of us are doing the same thing, and since neither of us is really the romantic dinner type, and just never did go on many random getaways. We'd like to do more camping now (our idea of a weekend getaway) but it is pretty easy to keep some training in that kind of day as well.

But at the same time, we have both been a bit flexible in the training. If there was something important to one of us, the other modified or missed a workout to be part of it. Yes, we missed some important workouts, but most we were able to move and still get in on a different day or time.

I think part of it was that you (probably both of you) got spoiled by the freedom of summer :) And once in that "I can't miss a single workout" mindset it is tough to get out of it.

Best of luck on enjoying Kona after the race!

---
Miles of Life --- Powered by MarkyV
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
 
Yep, I'd never date a guy training for an IM (if I weren't training for the same one, and I'm not doing another IM after Kona, so no IM training guys for me).

WTF is this post about? saying men can do them and women should just accept it, make the sacrifices etc, but god forbid you have to accept that your spouse has a goal and make some sacrifices for her to reach it.

Sorry, just a bit cranky today :-)

AAARRRGGGG
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [PirateGirl] [ In reply to ]
 
In Reply To:


WTF is this post about? saying men can do them and women should just accept it, make the sacrifices etc, but god forbid you have to accept that your spouse has a goal and make some sacrifices for her to reach it.
I don't think the OP is saying that at all - it just seems like a pretty straightforward question about how to balance IM training with personal & romantic life...I could imagine a woman posting the exact same thing about a guy training for an IM.

_________________________________

Go that way really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
 
Okay, now I've had some food I'm not as cranky...

But still, my BF is very understanding that I have this goal and am working towards it. HE's very supportive and accepts that me in training is not how I am normally. The strange thing is he has only known me when I'm training. I know he's holding on hoping that some things change (we've talked about them).

I would not date a guy who would not make those sacrifices for me. And I would not date a guy who I would not make similar sacrifices for.
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
 
I don't think this is whining about his wife not doing what she used to do. I see this as a genuine question. I've trained for 3 IMs and each time my husband had to put up with a lot of alone time. Either I was out training or was asleep. What worked for us is for me to get up early on the weekends, get in my long rides by noon then I'd have time for a nap and a movie or dinner. He understood I wasn't going to be available but I did what I could to make sure I didn't leave him in the dust.

Perhaps just making sure Friday and Saturday evening are reserved for the two of you. This is what we did and we survived. We were both glad when it was over though :-)

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
 
we tell our men to HTFU and not whine about it because it will all be over soon, oh and here's a tube of lotion and some tissues. have at it :) seriously, what is a few months over the course of a lifetime?

if you want to spend time with her, train with her. at her pace. and don't criticize what she is doing or how she is doing it.

JMHO
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
 
One of my biggest problems with IM training is the biking and the damage it does to the saddle area. Not conducive to romance and very bad for morale of all parties involved.
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [trailbait] [ In reply to ]
 
In Reply To:
One of my biggest problems with IM training is the biking and the damage it does to the saddle area. Not conducive to romance and very bad for morale of all parties involved.

That means you have fit/shorts/saddle issues. Shouldn't be like that.

clm

clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
 
This spring, my (now ex-) boyfriend told me excitedly, "I found a job on the island so I can be with you this summer!"

My immediate response, "but I go to the island in the summer TO TRAIN."

He did not believe me.

We broke up in July... he was tired of my being tired all the time, I was tired of him bugging me about being tired all the time. I am much happier single :-) I like being training lots, tired, and irritable. Really.

who said... if you're relationship's working you're not training enough... true IMO!

maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [trailbait] [ In reply to ]
 
I was an IronSherpa the first year of my relationship. It was an interesting way to establish some of the roles we took on in our relationship. Since then we did two more years together IMC & IMCdA, now as she is traning for a BQ race and I am doing Silverman, I just keep telling her, "You're doing a marathon, That's so cute" just to get the dirty look.

The nice part is that we both realize the time commitments and effort levels needed for our competitions and we have to keep adapting the roles we fill at home. It is great when your partner steps up to make the little things in your life easier. It has allowed us to continue to enjoy a better real life relationship.

"One of my biggest problems with IM training is the biking and the damage it does to the saddle area. Not conducive to romance and very bad for morale of all parties involved."
I totally agree and that was why my post race present to my partner at CDA was an Adamo saddle.;-)



it turns out that our OP is only "mostly" dead........ ElGordo
Last edited by: NorthShore: Sep 19, 08 15:20
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
 
In Reply To:
I like being training lots, tired, and irritable. Really[/quote]
What about it's side effects?

Just keeping you in check.

Brian Stover USAT LII
Accelerate3 Coaching
Insta Twitter

 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [PirateGirl] [ In reply to ]
 
 "WTF is this post about? saying men can do them and women should just accept it",

Not at all. I've never done an IM and have zero interest in doing one.
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [sto] [ In reply to ]
 
"train with her. at her pace"

I've been doing that, at least on the bike. I'm basically a roadie who normally rides/trains with a hammerfest roadie group which is a blast. I've mostly given that up this season for long slow training rides with my wife, which I actually find incredibly boring in comparison to the Cat 6 road racer group rides. But I do it any ways.

Like I said, I've been very supportive. I've just found this IM training to be very inclusive. We normally also scuba dive in the summer. We haven't dived once this year due to the IM training. I only did one sprint tri this year (normally do 6 or 7) so we could put the entry fees towards Kona. I just hope it's her last IM as it interferes with other activities so much.
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
 
My only IM was last year and it definitely did not interfere with getting it on with DH. The only time I was too tired was my race rehersal weekends (two of them) where I did a full swim on Friday, 112 miles on Saturday with a 45 minute brick run. Otherwise, I was fine. Now, mind you, I trained an average of about 10 - 12 hours a week, not 15+ like some folks. I also had lots of days when I just decided not to train because of family schedules or needing an extra recovery day. I also refuse to get up at some ungodly hour to train. I fit my training around the rest of my life.

I have to agree with CLM. The long bike rides didn't make me sore either. My bike seat is extremely comfortable and I had no problems at all after long days in the saddle. My sit bones are a little sore as I get used to longish rides, but after a few weeks I'm fine even at 6 - 7 hours of riding.

My only problem with IM training was scheduling stuff on weekends. There were so many times when I wanted to have a dinner party or go camping or go for a weekend away somewhere when I couldn't because of training. I certainly couldn't do that every year because there was so much other stuff I wanted to do.
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
 
In Reply To:
I've mostly given that up this season for long slow training rides with my wife, which I actually find incredibly boring in comparison to the Cat 6 road racer group rides. But I do it any ways.
I did a lot of stuff with my ex when I would have preferred to do other stuff, but I NEVER found it incredibly boring because I was with him.

I just hope it's her last IM as it interferes with other activities so much.
I hope she doesn't want to do another one too because it would be incredibly tough to deal with an unsupportive husband.


______________________________________
I know I'm promiscuous, but in a classy way
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [cuds] [ In reply to ]
 
 That's a pretty bold post for somebody who's already admitted they aren't in a relationship.
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
 
I must admit that I'm suprised at the animosity that you've faced in here. I think it is fair to say that a wife would say the same thing about her husband who is always training. Saying you hope your partner doesn't do another one because of what it is doing to your relationship is not being self absorbed. I totally get it. It make me appreciate the fact that he puts up with my crap even more. If he said it to me, I wouldn't be angry, I'd understand and we'd talk about how to have it be less of an impact on our relationship. I'd rather he came and told me that then shut himself off and didn't want to hang out with me when I was around. That doesn't mean I'd stop working towards what I want, I'd just figure how to make sure it isn't at the expense of us.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
 
In Reply To:
That's a pretty bold post for somebody who's already admitted they aren't in a relationship.
Is it? I'm not in a relationship because I don't want to be with someone who isn't supportive of who I am and what I do. I didn't realize that in order to respond to this thread I had to meet certain specifications.

Edit: I'm also a kid so what do I know.


______________________________________
I know I'm promiscuous, but in a classy way
Last edited by: cuds: Sep 19, 08 21:34
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
 
I actually would agree, that IM training can be exponentially more straining of relationships - with family, friends, and loved ones - than the shorter, less involved races (which also require less recovery).

I'd like to do a second IM some day, maybe more...But once every few years would be enough. And a big reason for that is relationships.

People talk as if it's just about time...Just juggle your time better! Sleep less! Work out together! Ride early! However, I think it's also about life energy. How much of your life energy does your IM focus take up? How much is left for the important people in your life?
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [Oleander] [ In reply to ]
 
I'm about the laziest person in the whole world so, for me, it's a good thing that I do all this training. Without it would mean more couch time and I already get a pretty significant amount of couch time as it is :D

Certainly at this age my priorities are different, but I don't suspect the laziness will ever go away :D


______________________________________
I know I'm promiscuous, but in a classy way
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
 
If I'm not mistaken, you were all excited when your wife got her kona slot. At least, that's how I read it in your posting about your wife. Now you are all whining about her accomplishments? Maybe this will be her one and only im? It's too bad you can't embrace her efforts. And you are right, sprints, olys and halfs are fun. That's why this is the IronMan World Championships. Its' not supposed to be all fun and games. Not eveyone gets to do it. It a short time commitment when you look at the whole picture: that would be your marriage commitment. But with statements like"If I ever became single again I'd definitely cross IM women off my list of potential relationships." I feel bad for your wife. I hope your wife does not read this. If she does maybe she will see it as a joke?
 
Re: IM training - not conducive for romance [timberdick] [ In reply to ]
 
"If I'm not mistaken"

Actually you're quite mistaken. I'm very excited and supportive that my wife won a Kona slot. And don't be so pretentious to "feel sorry" for my wife. She knows what it's about and lurks on ST regularly. She knows that I'm being very supportive, such as today doing all the household chores, vacuuming and closing the pool while she's on a six hour ride. I would have rode with her today but it's forecast to rain tomorrow so I have to do the chores today.

My point has been directed only at the time consuming training that IM involves. I'm wondering how women who do IM regularly and have full time jobs and maybe kids find time to juggle everything else in life without making IM their one and only interest outside of work. I could see how it would be quite doable if they're stay at home wives, but it's got to be tough with full time jobs.

Do you get the drift?
 

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