"My point has been directed only at the time consuming training that IM involves. I'm wondering how women who do IM regularly and have full time jobs and maybe kids find time to juggle everything else in life without making IM their one and only interest outside of work."

Ok, so how bout men when they train and have to fit their wives, kids in the mix? It is pretty much a 2-way street.

Yeah, I'm sure you wife is totally absorbed. This is a BIG deal for her, as it should be. Kona is coming around the corner, it's almost over. Unless of course, she decides to do another IM next yr. ;-)

N~

"Ok, so how bout men when they train and have to fit their wives, kids in the mix? It is pretty much a 2-way street."

I agree, but as mentioned, I'm not interested personally in doing IM.

Any sociological studies that have been done, tend to claim that women with full time jobs, even when in "equalitarian" relationships still tend to do more household work than their male partners. I'd assume it's a balancing act for most IM men also, but probably even more so for the majority of women.

So, how do men do it? IM train that is. Have full time jobs, maybe kids, etc. Oh I forgot, it's the wife who usually deals with the kids. Maybe it is too hard for women to be a wife, mom, and work, and im train, because the few times i have been lucky enough to be racing in Kona, I found myself surrounded by a "sea" of men. And who uses that phrase."Do you get the drift?" Is that a new state side thing?

I don't get it. Why is it that on this board (main forum and this one) when someone mentions one bad thing about a spouse training for long distance tris the entire freakin community jumps on that person's back and claims that they are being unsupportive and how none of us would ever stand up for someone who didn't want to live life according to our lifestyle. WTF? Is there nothing more important in this world to some of you than IM's? Shouldn't relationships be about give AND take?

For full disclosure, my husband and I met doing tris and graduated to the longer distances together. Last year we did our first IM together and in truth it put a TON of strain on the relationship. I think the only thing that held it together was the fact that we were able to split everything. We trained together and then would come home and split the house chores because both of us had been out riding long. As someone else mentioned, IM training is not only a lot of time, it's also a lot of life energy that is normally reserved for other things. Like CerveloGuy mentioned, while IM training my husband and I didn't have time for all the other things we enjoy doing like camping, backpacking, and literally just hanging out with friends.

I can't imagine how much infinitely harder it would be to be the nonIM spouse in the relationship while the other is training. To me it sounds like CerveloGuy is being incredibly supportive, joining his wife on long rides, and picking up the majority of the chores that keep a house and relationship running smoothly. He's tired and venting...I get that. That doesn't mean he's not being supportive or somehow trying to undermine his wife's performance. Think of it like this - right now his wife is probably tired of training and exhausted with taper just around the corner. I imagine that CerveloGuy is feeling something similar - exhaustion at what his life has become for the past several months and he's just as excited and ready to see taper come as his wife.

---

http://smallfoodbiz.com
</blatent self-marketing>

One thing that has not been said on this thread is that if it wasn't IM it would probably be something else just as crazy. Serious IM training is generally reserved for highly motivated, type A or B+ people.

Before triathlon it was karate for me. I went from way overweight couch potato to six classes a week in 3 months. Three and a half years to get my Shodan. My wife jumped in after a couple of months, realizing that it was that or never see me.

Now that Karate is less of an option for me because of knees issues, triathlon is my new interest/obsession. First season - 3olys, 1half, 1iron. Next season, 2IMs, 2 halfs, 2 olys, maybe ultraman relay. Unfortunately due to a head injury (no, I did not do it) my wife is couch bound for a while, so she is not able to join me this time, but I suspect she will. Her support would slip significantly if one of my obsessions was unhealthy, but for now this works. We are planning vacations next year around races (if she can go) and hopefully when she gets better she will learn to swim.

I guess my overlong point is that when you marry someone you can usually tell that this is the sort of lifestyle that will develop. My wife and I met thruhiking the Appalachian trail. For our honeymoon we hiked from Mexico to Canada on the PCT. I am still talking about an attempt at the speedhike record on the AT in 2012, maybe even a double (4400 miles+ in 100 days). If I do that she will do support. If she wanted to do it, I would do support.

---

===============
Proud member of the MSF (Maple Syrup Mafia)

To be fair, I didn't jump on his back for the OP. It seemed like a genuine question to me that I replied to with a little humor. It was some wording in a later post that I thought was... inappropriate? unfair? Not exactly sure, but it just didn't seem "right" (and apparently I'm not allowed to have an opinion since I'm single).

FWIW, it strikes me that it wasn't the OP that got other feathers ruffled either. The jumping came after the comments like "If I'm ever single again..."

Why do I get involved? lol

---

______________________________________
I know I'm promiscuous, but in a classy way

No, I get what you're saying and understand why you felt the way you did (the single=no opinion comments were inappropriate in my mind). My anger was more a commentary on what I typically see on the main forum with regards to IMs being the endall beall of life which is one of the reasons I stay away from it.

But it's raining in seattle and my leg is still broken so I'm housebound, craving some sort of cardio exercise (still a no go from the doc), and I'm grumpy. :)

Edited for clarity

---

http://smallfoodbiz.com
</blatent self-marketing>

I will ship you some chocolate cake. It makes everything better! :D

---

______________________________________
I know I'm promiscuous, but in a classy way

You and your damn cake!!!!!!

Bad enough I ate 2 pumpkin scones this mornig after my run ;(

---

===============
Proud member of the MSF (Maple Syrup Mafia)

I don't know what to tell you. Ever since I found the individual packs (of which I buy three, so I may as well buy a whole damn cake lol) of chocolate birthday cake at Safeway in Penticton, I'm TOTALLY addicted. I have not had cake since Sunday though, and holding strong.

I've been told I'm allowed cake on my birthday while in Kona, but I hate yucky American foods with HFCS. Maybe that's why all their chocolate bars taste just nasty.

All this cake talk reminds me... it's time to go to the gym! That's right, in the middle of a work day :D

---

______________________________________
I know I'm promiscuous, but in a classy way

This might start trouble, but I'm doin it anyways...

---

______________________________________
I know I'm promiscuous, but in a classy way

I dunno Cuds, after all the previous posts on this thread, I think you may be devolving into "crazy cat lady" territory ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7_jW5xH5XY

---

===============
Proud member of the MSF (Maple Syrup Mafia)

Funny, Maui posted a pic of Crazy Cat Lady on my facebook wall. What you don't know is that I have 4! I professed myself a crazy cat lady a looooooong time ago :)

---

______________________________________
I know I'm promiscuous, but in a classy way

This had me laughing out loud yesterday.

---

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce

lilpups, I genuinely appreciate your support and am glad that we're on the same eye level but when you're talking to cuds, realize she's a 26 yr old single woman who has never had a real long term relationship and has quite a chip on her shoulder. She's taken forum swipes at me and other males before . I don't know if that's for real or just a warped sense of forum humor. The really scarey thing is that she's a cop and carries a gun.:-)

As for the actual IM, I was aware of the sacrifice involved, but not so much of the lifestyle change. We've done distances from sprint to 1/2 but what I've noticed with IM training that there were no weekends away, no weekend BBQ's with friends, we didn't visit old friends, put off restoring my boat, etc, etc, etc. And as previously mentioned we didn't scuba dive and did no short tris since they didn't fit the training schedule.

I have been very supportive and made the lifestyle changes to accomodate the IM training, but if my wife was to come back after Kona and declare that she wanted to adopt an "IM lifestyle" and now race a couple of IM a year and our other hobbies/interests are out the window, then I'm the first to admit we'd have a problem in our relationship. Fortunately, I don't think that's too likely to happen. At least I hope not.:-)

"This might start trouble"

LOL. The problem cuds is that until you actually find a relationship, you don't even qualify for couples counselling. When it comes to the shrink's couch young lady, you're flying solo.

You really are quite the dick.

---

______________________________________
I know I'm promiscuous, but in a classy way

Really? I've never shared this information so who are you to suggest that this is true? I'd like to know all about these forum swipes at other males that I've taken because I have some very solid friendships with the males of ST... some of whom I talk to outside of ST.
Interesting too is that I'm not the only one who thought you were a little off in some of your remarks, but you choose to single me out. Why?

Lilpups is more than aware of who I am because, again, we have formed a relationship outside of ST.

---

______________________________________
I know I'm promiscuous, but in a classy way

Good night cuds.

I'm pretty shocked at your personal attack on this person, cuds. who's swiping now?

I have no advice. I've never trained for IM distance, let alone trained for it while in a committed relationship. I just wanted to say I hope you and your wife find a way. I know from watching a friend of mine how difficult it can be (she's married with kids), and how much of a strain it puts on her marriage despite her husband's full support. I know that in the past, after her race she's spent several months NOT seriously training and spending time just with her family. What will work for you, I don't know. Maybe y'all can agree to a scuba trip for after Kona? Something to look forward to?

---

There is no justice, there is only me. -- Death

+1

---

===============
Proud member of the MSF (Maple Syrup Mafia)

OK, cut it out all of you.
THank you.

Signed, The Moderators

---

clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com