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Or you can do as my friend and point out all of the hot/athletic chicks that you come across. That way she knows what you like and then she will strive for that. However, I would not give her to much time to get the ship righted if you know what I mean.
Life is Short...Run Long
my husband isn't much of an athletic person, but he jumps at the chance to get out for a walk/hike/XC ski/snowboard trip with me...helps us spend time together, and he's starting to get interested in trying some racing - he's doing the bike leg of a super sprint tri with me (i'll do the swim and run) in july!
when you suggest it, do so in the context of doing something together, not "trying to get her off her butt"...and since the examples given above are basically non-competitive things, she shouldn't have to worry about not being able to perform up to par.
ill advised racing inc.
She sounds as if she'd be better off without you!
Harry: "I expected the Rocky Mountains to be a little rockier than this."
Loyd: "I was thinking the same thing. That John Denver's full of shit, man."
You started your post by stressing her impressive credentials. So it's clear that those credentials are important to you (I can certainly understand that) and that you are proud of what she's done. You've also said that you've tried to encourage her to get back into running, but that she has no interest in doing so (and that she may not want to because she's used to being "in it to win it."). I can understand her perspective -- after being an elite at something, it can be hard to not be elite but still be around those same elites you used to compete against. (And maybe she didn't enjoy it as much as everyone thought...)
But then there's the discussion of weight (always tricky). From what you've said, when you encourage her to get back into running, she hears you say "you're getting fat", but you have said that you don't care about weight.
But then you tell her that you want her to have an "exercise regimen" so that she can stay the weight she wants to be. You then ask how you can encourage her to stay athletic.
And so here's where I get confused. Of course, there's a lot more that's been said between you two than what is in a post (that's just the nature of things) but it sounds like you have somewhat tied your encouragement to weight loss. (e.g., "can stay the weight that she wants to be.") That would cause a lot of people (myself included) to assume that you were telling me to get off the couch and burn off that burrito. But then your question is tied to athleticism. So it also sounds like you're missing the person that used to run, and that you found that person very attractive. I think it might help to ask yourself a few questions about that: what was it about her when she ran that got you going? Was it her independence, her zest, her confidence, her competitive streak, your bragging rights regarding her accomplishments, or her legs? You might have other issues you need to overcome, or perhaps there are other things that you two need to talk about.
Bottom line: I think you need to really figure out why you want her to run. If you are really just interested in her remaining healthy, a 5'4" woman at 125 is not going to set off any bells and whistles regarding heart health (barring any other issues). I'd leave her be if that's really and truly your issue. Take others' advice and go hiking, or see if she wants to go on an "active" vacation. If you think there are other issues that need to be addressed, maybe talking about those would help -- thinking about them certainly wouldn't hurt. And if she doesn't want to run because she doesn't want to be mediocre at something she used to excel at (or maybe doesn't want old competitors to see her suck?), see if there are other activities that she would be willing to try with you where she won't have preconceived notions of what she can do ... and where she'd be anonymous.
Just my two cents.
Sounds like this dude was is in love with "the athlete" and now that she's given up that part of her life he's no longer interested in who she is as a person. Which is fine, but if that is the case then yes they are both better off without each other.[/reply]
That's the impression I got too...
However, if that is NOT the case, and I hope so- She's over running. It happens. You burn out. At the end of my swimming career I hoped every day I would break my arm so I could quit the team. That's when you know it's time. Collegiate athletics is an emotional, mental and physical drain. She might come back around, but it may take years. Or it may never happen. Good for her for focusing on school.
I am SHOCKED no one has yet mentioned bike riding. I know a billion (well, maybe 10) extremely competitive runners who got burned out or injured and then fell in love with cycling. If you are really committed to her enjoying the 'athletic lifestyle' - buy her a bike!!!! Oh yeah!
Assuming your heart is in the right place, I'm suprised no one has suggested joining a team sport. Would she (and you) have any interest in Ultimate, soccer, kickball, volleyball etc? Maybe adding more of a social aspect to exercies will help improve her interest level. It's easy to forget how fun it is to play team sports!
My point is, it might be more complex in her head than you a perceiving. If she says she is happy with the way she looks and feels, then continuing to push her is not going to do much but question the relationship and your feelings for her. The thing you might be able to do is sit her down and talk to her about the reason she gave up running (I think someone else mentioned it) but talking to her doesn't necessarily that she is going to really want to talk about it if she feels like you are prying for information as to why she isn't as fit/thin as she used to be. And no, 5'4" and 125 lb. is not overweight at all. I am 5'5" and weigh 140, and I'm still in the healthy range. When she is ready, she will go back to running or get more active, but it's not really up to you.
Guy says: I don't care if she's 10-15lbs heavier, I just would like her to be active and healthy...
It means: just that...
Half the women jump on him, and hear 'you're telling her she's fat, which she isn't'...
Getting the popcorn ready to watch that train wreck.
If he didn't care, why did he even bring it up?
However I wasn't one who jumped on him for the weight thing.
It's more of "I want to change her to be what I want, not who she is now"
Which is why I say end it. If he can't accept she's over that part of her life, it's best for both parties involved. Though really if things are bad enough to ask for relationship advice on a forum, it's probably already over.
oh and whoever said buy her a bike. Yes. Buy her a bike!!!
When they kick at your front door, How you gonna come?
With your hands on your head
Or on the trigger of your gun