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The response I got: "Jewelry is a waste of money. How about this treadmill?" Price tag on the treadmill: $1000.
One one hand, it is awesome to have the latest and greatest helmets, sunglasses, clothing, shoes, and racing/training equipment ...however, I LOVE girly gifts (I think that is what you are getting at).
His idea of "romance" is surprising me by changing my bar tape. I can't seem to get across that little blue box every once and a while wouldn't hurt ;-)
In the end, though, I would much rather have my amazing guy than a blah relationship with lots of flowers and pretty things.
And yes, he is a type-A tri guy.
When I first got married my husband (for my birthday) gave me waders; WADERS! I like fishing and enjoy doing it with him, but WADERS as birthday gift.....um NO! His thoughts were practical. We like fishing, at the time we didn't own a boat, he has waders, I need waders = time together.
He didn't get it when I tried to explain the concept of 'appropriate gifts' for me (vs. just going out to buy me something fun). So in order for him to 'get it' and 'feel' it he received a wallet and watch for his birthday a few months later - accessorizing is something he could care less about (and was not thrilled over the gift). When I saw his face after he opened his gift, I simply made my point. Some things are gifts, some things are not. Needless to say from that point on, he 'got it'.
If the direct approach doesn't work then perhaps your sig other needs to 'feel it' as well.
For your sake (and his) I hope he figures out what you need in the gift department for you to feel the love.
Best of luck.
Life is Short...Run Long
But, I don't think there's anything wrong with just talking to him about this. No need to drop a hint, I don't think. Just be upfront that while you love and appreciate getting 'active' gifts, that's not all you're interested in.
anyway, my hubby is really horrible at picking gifts (well, not so much horrible at it - he can when he tries and knows what day it is) but he often forgets when holidays are and forgets. so he just lets me buy something i want. not necessarily romantic, but at least i get what i want. i'd be honest with him because otherwise he might not get the message, and maybe make a little list of ideas for non-tri stuff you like. he might just be stumped for what else to get you or think that's your favorite stuff.
Something like this would work:
"hey, honey, I really like that you are super supportive with my hobby. Really, you are the best. But, you don't need to give me triathlon gifts. You see? I also like shoes and flowers and this and that."
It reminds me the time I was dating this girl. One day, she told me "hey, it's really hot, no?" I answered "yes, I know, I'm melting here." Well, later on she was giving me crap because she was thirsty and I didn't offer to buy her a drink. WTF? She could have just told me "hey, I'm really thirsty. Why don't we get something to drink?"
Have to agree. But I don't understand why women won't be direct and then get angry because we "don't get it". As I tell my wife - we're not mind readers. Don't drop subtle hints. Instead just tell us.
I think your boyfriend gets you these things because he is super excited about them. I'm sure going shopping for earrings ranks pretty low on his ideal way to spend a Saturday afternoon. What I would do tell him directly how those "girly" gifts make you feel- perhaps make an analogy to what it must feel like to him when he gets a new powertap. Hit home the excitement you get about jewelry, purses, clothes, etc. (or whatever you have in mind....).
Art on the other hand is a very, very practical man. Last year for Christmas he installed a blower in my gas fireplace and bought a case of CFL flood lights. I was a bit taken aback and didn't see the "love" in the gifts but kept my mouth shut cuz we weren't married and I really loved him so I figured if we were together for a while he would "get" it. The reality is that I am the one who finally "got" it not him. In May he proposed with a six carat bridal set that had been in his family for generations. Every day he shows his love with a winning smile, a warm heart, total involvement in my life, trust and love. This Christmas he gave me an electric car starter and fixed the dent in my car that had been there for two years cuz I never got around to it. Oh and he bought me a state of the art Rice Cooker.... I tell my girlfriends and they don't actually get it. They look at me with a bit of condescension. That is okay cuz now I understand!
So..no jewelry, no hearts, no flowers but instead things that make every day less complicated and more comfortable. And...that smile every morning. Life is really good.
the biggest thing is to communicate with your significant other, and let them know what you'd LIKE, whether that's "typical" girly stuff, or something more non-traditional. tanker knows i don't go for jewelry, so he buys me tools (one of the best things he ever got me is a metric tap & die set), stuff for sport (like a reflective wrist strap with a blinky light to keep me safe while running after dark - that's love right there!), and other things he knows i'll enjoy. that sweetheart got me a new kettle this christmas past; not what most people would call "romantic", but he knew the last thing i need is frustration with our old, quirky kettle while i'm trying to brew a relaxing cup of tea, or press us both a nice cup of coffee.
when your partner really knows you, you'll almost always get a gift you'll like...assuming they're not a jerk ;)
ill advised racing inc.
Tracy M. De Soto
De Soto Sport
"How bad could it be?" - SimpleS