Hi Womens! Not dead, but really struggling.

I was supposed to be going down to Williamsburg to ride a century on the Cap trail this weekend and instead, I'm reflecting on the fact that I've barely put 100 miles on my bike all summer. Meh.

Still looking for a job. Thankful for extended unemployment benefits, but I'm going nuts craving some normalcy in my life again.

My ex-husband is still making snide little comments about me on social media (we've moved on from "zOMG, PINK HAIR" to "saw a picture of UK wearing her FAT dress at your wedding" - I'm tempted to respond and ask him if "Yo' Momma" jokes are next).

Silver linings: lots of time for therapy, introspection, and getting that wretched schoolwork that I've been putting off for ages done. Also back in the pool - two per lane, opposite ends, no more than 12 people in at any one time. It's nice that I haven't completely forgotten how to swim.

I hope you're all doing well - or as well as can be!

Hey hey UK!!!!!! Miss ya. What a flippin asshat is your ex. That's ridiculous, and I'm so sorry that he's acting that way. It's not a reflection of who you are at all, not one bit. I'm also glad that you are focused on school, and doing some work on and for yourself.

I'm ok everyone. I did everything I was supposed to last week, except that we got some stay-at-home orders because of a spike in our area. Well, stay-at-home pleas from out county executive because Cuomo is being a little more hesitant to use orders these days. In any event, I wasn't able to swim this week. Am hopeful for next week.

Oh, and I just somewhat impulsively registered for IM Maryland, so, that's terrifying. Cupcake, are you around this thread? Are you planning to do it?

I just have three runs and two rides this week, with maybe a swim in there too. We're going to work on my run form for a little bit, so workouts will be lighter.

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Formerly GiantNewb, but not such a newb anymore.

hi!
Sorry your ex is being a dick. I hope you're able to find a job soon.

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maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD

WELCOME TO THE CRAZY! I'm so excited for you :-)

UK2ME - what an idiot. Hurray for the silver linings.

Still carrying on here. Reintroduced structured biking last week; my legs are definitely tired these days.

UK2ME - Sorry to hear you are struggling. Can you mute your ex? Or tell him to F off? (Obviously I am not married!)

Bing - Yea for the IM sign-up!!

I had a good gym workout and walk/jog on Monday and Tuesday and then Wednesday went to the doctor to get my annual physical which had been put off from April. Best news was that my Vitamin D levels doubled to the normal range! Finally!! Bad news - the scale. "I think you should start riding your bike more."

He also talking me into taking the Shingles Vaccine and for hell! You may have seen in the LavRoom, that I had a big reaction - low-grade headache, hands turned ice cold like it’s the dead of winter, chills and ended up on the couch with flannel pants and a sweatshirt and two blankets on top of me with the shakes and a 100.1° fever. The next day my arm felt like somebody hit it with a baseball bat. I didn't feel good until later on Saturday, but now seem OK. Not looking forward to the second shot in a few months!

This week - back to working out. Went to the pool today.

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clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com

Oof, sorry about the vaccine reaction, CLM. That sucks. Great news on the vitamin D though.

I'm trying to take the high road because my divorce is still pending (courts shut down and are way, way behind), but I'm so fed up with him being an arsewipe. We move in mutual circles so I'm trying to let him show everyone else what a dick he is.

OOOOF that sounds awful; glad you are feeling better. Are side effects like that normal or did you just get unlucky? At least you can be kind of prepared for the next shot?

I guess it's random. Some people have no effects on either, some have effects on the first and not the second, some people have effects on the second but not the first. Haven't really heard too many who have had effects on both. I hope that's the case for me.

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clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com

YES - keep thinking this way. But I'm sorry that you can't fully cleave yourself from him.

Make ignoring him a goal, as much as exercise or job hunting. You've got this!

good luck on the second one; I hope you don't have side effects from that one too.

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maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD

I'm hanging on by a thread but clinging tightly. I had a really rough week last week, just so anxious and some level of depression. I had a couple days of using maladaptive coping skills. Tuesday of this week wasn't good either. I am determined to pull myself out of this.

In all honesty some of the stress is that I got a revise-and-resubmit on a journal article on 9/21 and the journal wants it back on 11/20. There are substantial revisions, which is fine, but my upset about it is "we are in the middle of a pandemic that is making the rest of my job twice the work, how DARE you give me a deadline." I wanted the email to say "we know things are crazy for academics right now, just like everyone else, so take care of yourself and return this whenever you are in a physical and mental space to do so." Yeah yeah I know that's not how it works, and the reality is if I need more time I will just ask for it (people do that all the time). I can give myself that space, and my university is being super understanding about our research productivity. So, as ridiculous as that may sounds, those are the feelings driving some of this...

The reality is that this is causing some maladaptive coping, and maladaptive coping doesn't actually help me get work done, so it is better for me just to take the time to take care of myself and work on the paper as I can.

So my goal this week is just to report back on Monday that I have racked up 5 days in a row of healthy coping.
Thanks for listening.

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maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD

Hi TC, I'm sorry to hear about all that. For what it's worth, I am the absolute worst about deadlines. I take all the leeway that the lax governance of timelines allows in academia. It helps keep me sane. It also makes my work better; when I'm really considering the best course forward for a project, without the weight of a deadline, I think I'm better.

Also, have I ever explained my philosophy of laziness? I have one. It's not the best venue for it, here among triathletes, but it goes like this: in K-12 and in undergraduate study, the people who are very successful are those who work a LOT. The people who pull all nighters, who give up social events to get something done, etc. But when we get to graduate school and postgrad, our communities change, and we're in a situation where EVERYONE is that person, who's willing to get it all done like that. The people from there who are successful are the ones who take a break, who chill out, who keep up healthy social lives, who stay clued into the rest of the world. From grad school on, it's the lazy ones. The trick is learning how to be lazy, when we've all been those people who are just go go go.

So, even though my permission is not at all requested here, you have my permission to be lazy abou tthe deadline. Take care of yourself. It'll make everything better. After that, fit in work on that article.

(also, I'm typing this with one hand, holding a wine glass, after a pretty crazy week, so, I'm not coping really well either... You're in good company...)

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Formerly GiantNewb, but not such a newb anymore.