My fiance and I are trying to plan a wedding for September and my family is trying to hijack the wedding plans. I need some advice. My little brother and his wife got married a couple of years ago and my mom completely hijacked the planning and I am trying to avoid this situation without being a complete ass.
There are some factors that set me apart from my brother's situation:
- Him and his wife are people pleasers, almost to the point that they are push overs. I am not. I am a first born, type-A, personality.
-They were only 21 when they got married, we will both be 26.
- They didn't have a clue what they wanted. We know what we want.
-They didn't pay for their wedding. We are paying for all of ours - on a limited budget.
The main contention point is the size of the wedding. We want to have a small wedding. 50-60 people (not invites, people) which would mean our immediate familys, a couple of aunts and uncles and our close friends. We have been told that the way it should be done is to invite all of our family (aunts, uncles, cousins) then our friends, then the bride's family invites who they want then the grooms family invites who they want. If we followed this protocol, my family alone would be 56 people and the entire wedding would be 200-300 people. My brothers was 350 plus.
We have been told that this wedding is "not for the two people getting married. The wedding is for the family." I call BS on that.
I have no problem saying this is the way it is going to be. End of story. But, I often am not very graceful in my approach. So STers, how do I handle my mom and my aunt here without severing those relationships?
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