So IMF is a little over 3 weeks away. I have accomplished much this year. I have lost 65 pounds, completed 4 century rides(Thanks, Lucille!), swam in the ocean, set PR's at a few races this year and overall feel physically as ready as I am going to be this time for my first IM. I am anxious, stressed out and all the not so good stuff this close to a big race. All normal I know.
The heaviness comes form 2 losses I have had this year..My beloved horse this last week and my little girl dog in March. I have no kids so my husband and I are very dedicated to our furry friends. I just am having trouble feeling so guilty about the choices I have made this year to train on my bike and not ride my horse, play with my dogs. I thinks I accepted the first death and just kept on training. No decision to be made, just train. But now, with this second death, I tend to see a trend here and am trying to see the lesson I need to learn. Is it that I have been way to selfish this year and my choices have been the wrong ones? Or is it something else I can't see right now? I won't even go into the cost financially. We would really have to stream line the trip to Fl. I expect to spend the next year paying this off.
I guess my question/concern is trying to get my head and heart back into this race because now is not the time to back down in the training. I have one more heavy week then taper. My desire to get out there is not real high and lets not talk about food intake. I know it has only been a few days. Cut myself a break?
Thanks in advance for the suggestions,
C
The heaviness comes form 2 losses I have had this year..My beloved horse this last week and my little girl dog in March. I have no kids so my husband and I are very dedicated to our furry friends. I just am having trouble feeling so guilty about the choices I have made this year to train on my bike and not ride my horse, play with my dogs. I thinks I accepted the first death and just kept on training. No decision to be made, just train. But now, with this second death, I tend to see a trend here and am trying to see the lesson I need to learn. Is it that I have been way to selfish this year and my choices have been the wrong ones? Or is it something else I can't see right now? I won't even go into the cost financially. We would really have to stream line the trip to Fl. I expect to spend the next year paying this off.
I guess my question/concern is trying to get my head and heart back into this race because now is not the time to back down in the training. I have one more heavy week then taper. My desire to get out there is not real high and lets not talk about food intake. I know it has only been a few days. Cut myself a break?
Thanks in advance for the suggestions,
C