say "you know what really gets to me?....when you kiss me like this....(kiss and show)"

when he does it that way say "fuck yeah!...that is hot...."

assert the positive....

this goes for anything else in the bedroom area....


I know that being a good kisser is very important to women but I will also say that each women have very different needs and wants in the bedroom area...a guy that is good will be paying attention to body language and other signs of response when they are in the bedroom so they dont have to ask "what do you like"...but I assume not every guy will do this....

when they ae not getting it, or are in the wrong spot doing the wrong thing with the wrong pressure.....the above approach can help....

+1. As a guy, I don't think there's anything else I can add, other than to ensure you don't do anything to bruise his ego. I know it sounds silly, but our egos are often all we have; and besides, if you have him thinking he's not good at it, his overall performance will suffer; and I know that's not something you want!!

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MS: Exercise Science
Your speed matters a lot, sometimes you need to be very fast, where sometimes you need to breakdown your speed.

Are either of your "naturally" humorous? I mean, are you both always making jokes, being sarcastic, etc? I'm like that so if my girlfriend simply said something like, "who the hell taught you to kiss?" and then proceeded to show me the better way, I'd get a complete kick out of it. I don't have much of an ego though, so it's just about impossible to bruise it :)

As a guy I always responded rather positively to "I like that" and "Hey, let's practice a little and get it right". But that applies to the whole spectrum of the relationship :)

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Jay

I would definitely take it as a 'let's try and see how we can make this better for both of us' kind of thing... although as others have said a more positive approach might be a lot better: if you were in the middle of doing something for him and he came up and said something along the same lines I am not sure you'd take it in a joking way, it'd probably hurt your feelings.

I am also thinking that unless you are one of his first 1-2 relationships it might not necessarily be that he doesn't know how to kiss, but that he likes different kinds of kissing that you do, and he hasn't yet figured out that you possibly prefer other types. There is quite a spectrum of kissing types and what feels bad for one is exactly what another likes: from my experience gals are always the picky ones when it comes to kissing having to be 'just so' if you allow me a generalization here, I wonder why.

Like a fish might be a lil harsh. Little subtle hints are a good way to guide things along. If he's smart, he'll catch on.

Regardless, I feel for you. Even from the guy's point of view, if you can't kiss well, odds are other things aren't as good as you'd like them to be as well.

Be gentle, we have fragile egos ya know!!! ;-)

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Breakfast is for Closers

I could easily see the conversation going something like this:

You: "Honey, you kiss like a fish."
Him: "That's funny, your sister loves it when I kiss her this way."

If this kind of dialog works for you, great. Otherwise I second what everyone else has said. If you're in control of the situation (and since you're female, you are), then you should be able to guide him to do whatever you want. Positive reinforcement will work every time.

First, yeah I would want to know that you were not happy about the way you were being kissed. But I wouldn't necessarily like being told that I kissed like a fish.

If you frame it wish something like "This is the way I like to be kissed and when I get kissed this way, I get really hot and willing to do extra nasty things", your guy will never even realize that you don't like the way he is currently kissing you. He will most likely be so eager to comply with your request, that he won't give it a second thought.

Remember, most men are very simple creatures. We want food, shelter, sex and entertainment. And sometimes we need alot of guidance.

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"It takes courage to do it, to be a runner. We all found that out a long time ago. Because it's about more than fatigue. It's about pain, and dealing with it for a long time. And its about resolve." - Quentin Cassidy

I'm not so sure about this. In my last relationship, he had this kind of "tonsil hockey" kissing style which I hated. However, that quick tongue action came in quite handy in other areas ;)

This isn't him, is it? http://www.craigslist.org/...t/atl/744997359.html

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<If you're gonna be dumb, you gotta be tough>
Get Fitter!
Proud member of the Smartasscrew, MONSTER CLUB
Get your FIX today?

lol! Yeah right! Ex-boyfriend thinks he's Don Juan.

If you like the guy enough otherwise, I say take a chance on helping him become a better kisser. I have never tried it myself but it's worth a shot. Same goes for any other "activity" he may need some coaching.
The mens want to please us, they really do :)

All ex-boyfriends (and husbands) thought we were Don Juan (HHUANN!!! must say it with a flourish!), it's in a guys nature. Best lover, best driver EVAR! "She doesn't know what she let go or what she's missing!"
j

When I picture some of my exes feeling that way it's laugh out loud hilarious!

I'm sure you really are though.

Of course I am. But maybe you can help me...Why is she always saying something about a magnifying glass???? Am I missing something??
j

Can I please put that in my signature?

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"your horse is too high" - tigerchik

OK take it from a girl who has been there. I met my future husband when he was 27, I was 22. He had never had a girlfriend, kissed anyone, etc..I thought it was very sweet and enjoyed (still do) knowing I'm the only one to have those experiences with him. Anyway he kissed horribly when we first started dating. I just let it go for a few make out sessions and pretty soon he responded to how I kissed him. If that doesn't work follow the guys advice and gently show him how you want to be kissed. Believe me they aren't kidding when they say guys have a fragile ego. I'm constantly watching my step and not joking about bad performances in the bedroom (that causes tremendous relationship strain that's not needed). Also see how he responds to learning/trying new things to please you. If it's negative, be very wary b/c that's pretty selfish and can translate to other areas of the relationship. I think 99% of men are very open to doing everything they can to please their woman. Hope this helps, I know after 6 years of marriage and three kids later, we've both learned exactly how it works.

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I have failed at many things, but never in my desire to try again.

It could be he just likes to kiss that way. My husband and I both have very different styles of kissing. He told me he likes to be kissed this way and showed me. His way of kissing completely gags me. He likes very deep passionate kisses, I don't. So we negotiate. When I want to get him in the mood, I will give him a very deep passionate kiss- it has taken several years of practice to get this right and if I'm not in the right mood it still gags me. When I just want to play around I give him a playful kiss (which is what I like). After ten years we can both tell what the other one wants by the kiss.

As a guy, I would want to know if my significant other did not enjoy my kissing. That said, I have to admit, at first, it would hurt my fragile male ego (seriously). That said, if you really think there may be a future here (not talking marriage per se, but, a longer relationship) you need to address it.

I concur with the suggestion that you go in with "Honey, you know what I REALLY like? When you kiss me like this..." Unless he is as dense as most of us males are, he should get it.

GhiaGirl you are far to attractive (and from what I have read on ST and your blog seem to really kinda be the "total package") to settle for a poor smoocher. I sure would not want to lose someone I really liked over something like my poor kissing. I am sure your significant other would feel the same way. Good luck.

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If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers

Emery's Third Coast Triathlon | Tri Wisconsin Triathlon Team | Push Endurance | GLWR

LOL!!! It doesn't seem to go with your other "triathlon" quotes, but go for it.

If you don't mind sharing a little, recruit your friends, or strangers at a bar, and get the rest of the woman out there to help you, your boy friend gets 5 min of tutoring per woman, and it must be for teaching purposes. It's a win-win situation becuse people never learn as well when being taught by someone they know, and your man is a little more motivated to learn! :)
Try you both may like it!

So have you given your man any lessons yet?

Maybe he could place an ad on craigslist:

http://www.craigslist.org/...t/atl/744997359.html

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Awww, Katy's not all THAT evil. Only slightly evil. In a good way. - JasoninHalifax

And the big question...how did you find out what kissing a fish is like? ;)