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Failing motivation..
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I would like to discuss this issue at the women's forum because whenever I talk to my co workers about this, some male acquaintances make fun of me that just because I am a girl, I fail at this thing.


My issue is that I start exercise with a high spirit and I am really determined to continue with it ever after and even after that :)
But whenever I skip a day or two (due to any reason), then I can't get back to my workout routine for weeks. Just like missing one day becomes an excuse for missing other, and yet another.
Does anyone out there experience similar problems?
What can be the possible solution to keep myself motivated?
Thanks
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Re: Failing motivation.. [chirine.forrest] [ In reply to ]
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Sign up for a race with a friend- 5K run or sprint tri. Hard to back out when you've committed to a friend and have paid your $$.
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Re: Failing motivation.. [chirine.forrest] [ In reply to ]
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This is a good question, and deserves a thoughtful discussion, not a "suck it up" response.

This happens to me sometimes too.

1) You have to determine for yourself what you think the reason is behind your failing motivation. For me, sometimes it's "all of this training isn't working anyway, I feel tired and slow, so I'll just take one day off, it doesn't matter." And then one day turns into two, etc. For some it might be that they aren't seeing their weight come down as they'd like, their times, their strength, whatever. Or, for others, it might just mean they simply aren't enjoying it anymore- the workouts are boring, or the masters' swim team isn't friendly, or the traffic on the road sucks when you're riding. So, what's the real reason behind you not getting out the door that day?

2) For me, the longer I stick with a routine the less likely I am to 'skip' a workout. And like you said, once you miss a workout it's easy to fall off the horse completely. So, I think there are a few ways to combat this. One, you set yourself up so you can't miss workouts. You could work with a coach, that will hold you more accountable. Another way is to join a running club, swim team, whatever and be so regular that when you don't show up everyone asks where you were. The other way to combat this, might be harder, but learn to let it go when you DO miss a workout. You can't make it up. It's over. Just forgive yourself and move on. Some people are better than others about this, because they just disconnect and don't make it emotional. It sounds like you make it emotional, as do I, and I'm sure many of us here too.

Final thought: maybe your exercise regimen is too much too soon. Maybe try planning something out that makes you hungry for more. Start with light, short workouts that make you feel refreshed, not tired and sore. Then gradually increase the workout length, frequency and intensity to the point where you are really tired, then back off a bit, then start the cycle again.

Good luck
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Re: Failing motivation.. [chirine.forrest] [ In reply to ]
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I'm making a comeback after 10 months off of training. My life blew up and I had other priorities.

While I was slogging through a painful 20 minute run yesterday I realized I rarely regret working out but I often regret not working out. That is helping me get out the door. I'm also not putting a lot of pressure on myself. I've committed to 4-5 times a week and only doing what I love. I'm doing 20 minute runs 2-3 times a week, 1000 yards at the pool once a week and getting tortured by a personal trainer twice a week. I'm working hard to only take one day off at a time. I pack my workout clothes the night before, usually right after my workout, and put my bag at the front door where I will literally trip over it on the way out in the morning. When I get out of work and see it sitting there on the seat next to me it is usually enough to convince me to work out.

It can be a battle.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce
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Re: Failing motivation.. [squid] [ In reply to ]
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squid wrote:
Sign up for a race with a friend- 5K run or sprint tri. Hard to back out when you've committed to a friend and have paid your $$.

:) Its so funny, but once I tried this too!
And the failure doubled, literally.
Some days I will skip, while on others, the friend will come up with an excuse :)
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Re: Failing motivation.. [npda] [ In reply to ]
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npda wrote:
This is a good question, and deserves a thoughtful discussion, not a "suck it up" response.

This happens to me sometimes too.

1) You have to determine for yourself what you think the reason is behind your failing motivation. For me, sometimes it's "all of this training isn't working anyway, I feel tired and slow, so I'll just take one day off, it doesn't matter." And then one day turns into two, etc. For some it might be that they aren't seeing their weight come down as they'd like, their times, their strength, whatever. Or, for others, it might just mean they simply aren't enjoying it anymore- the workouts are boring, or the masters' swim team isn't friendly, or the traffic on the road sucks when you're riding. So, what's the real reason behind you not getting out the door that day?

2) For me, the longer I stick with a routine the less likely I am to 'skip' a workout. And like you said, once you miss a workout it's easy to fall off the horse completely. So, I think there are a few ways to combat this. One, you set yourself up so you can't miss workouts. You could work with a coach, that will hold you more accountable. Another way is to join a running club, swim team, whatever and be so regular that when you don't show up everyone asks where you were. The other way to combat this, might be harder, but learn to let it go when you DO miss a workout. You can't make it up. It's over. Just forgive yourself and move on. Some people are better than others about this, because they just disconnect and don't make it emotional. It sounds like you make it emotional, as do I, and I'm sure many of us here too.

Final thought: maybe your exercise regimen is too much too soon. Maybe try planning something out that makes you hungry for more. Start with light, short workouts that make you feel refreshed, not tired and sore. Then gradually increase the workout length, frequency and intensity to the point where you are really tired, then back off a bit, then start the cycle again.

Good luck

First, thanks a lot for such a good response.
Though it might make me seem like a problem child, but let me list down the issues I am facing.

1. The reason of not making it up the next day is that my routine is really hectic. Full time job to manage, part time study and a full house to manage. I get so tired of all this mess that even though I enjoy my workouts, still at times I am so hell tired that I can't really make it.
2. Sleep deprivation may be another reason. Since I take my job, home and study all so seriously, I can't find time to sleep. And I think that's what makes me less motivated. But I can't help it. My sleep has to be this way, I have tried so much, but sleep....... it has to be compromised for all other good things in life.
3. It is not about being emotional or forgiving myself for the skipped day. Its like I use the day that I skipped as an 'excuse' to miss the next, and then the next. "Seriously, just skipping this one and I will start from tomorrow on!" and that tomorrow seems to be put off.
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Re: Failing motivation.. [JenSw] [ In reply to ]
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JenSw wrote:
I'm making a comeback after 10 months off of training. My life blew up and I had other priorities.

While I was slogging through a painful 20 minute run yesterday I realized I rarely regret working out but I often regret not working out. That is helping me get out the door. I'm also not putting a lot of pressure on myself. I've committed to 4-5 times a week and only doing what I love. I'm doing 20 minute runs 2-3 times a week, 1000 yards at the pool once a week and getting tortured by a personal trainer twice a week. I'm working hard to only take one day off at a time. I pack my workout clothes the night before, usually right after my workout, and put my bag at the front door where I will literally trip over it on the way out in the morning. When I get out of work and see it sitting there on the seat next to me it is usually enough to convince me to work out.

It can be a battle.

True, it can be a battle.
Its not like I dont enjoy myself out there. I love it at the end of my workout that I have finally done something good for myself. But getting up early in the morning (that too when I slept really late) is like the worst thing I can do to myself.
And then I smile and say to myself, the good that I can do to my body with working out, let me do even better by giving it enough sleep :)
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Re: Failing motivation.. [chirine.forrest] [ In reply to ]
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Well, we just can't have it all. Something has to give. Whether it's your sleep, or something has to be given up. Or perhaps you can take a critical look at your hectic life and try to make it more efficient somehow. Literally "run" to do errands? Commute to work by foot or bike?

Not knowing any details about your schedule, I can't really try to help you out, but for me in really hectic times, the best thing is a 5am workout- get it done, get it over, now focus on the rest of the day. But if you're a single mom, for example, this won't work, unless you have a treadmill or trainer.

Where is your sig. other (if you have one) in all this? Sounds like a conversation with him/her would be helpful too...

At the very least, maybe you can be weekend warrior- do one or two workouts during the week and then do crazy doubles or something on the weekend to get your fix.

Good luck
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Re: Failing motivation.. [chirine.forrest] [ In reply to ]
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chirine.forrest wrote:
I would like to discuss this issue at the women's forum because whenever I talk to my co workers about this, some male acquaintances make fun of me that just because I am a girl, I fail at this thing.


My issue is that I start exercise with a high spirit and I am really determined to continue with it ever after and even after that :)
But whenever I skip a day or two (due to any reason), then I can't get back to my workout routine for weeks. Just like missing one day becomes an excuse for missing other, and yet another.
Does anyone out there experience similar problems?
What can be the possible solution to keep myself motivated?
Thanks

The same thing happens to me!
Thank you for posting!!!!
:-)



"Though she be but little, she is fierce" ~Shakespeare | Powered by HD Coaching | 2014 Wattie Ink Triathlon Team | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter
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Re: Failing motivation.. [KyraMorgan] [ In reply to ]
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KyraMorgan wrote:
chirine.forrest wrote:
I would like to discuss this issue at the women's forum because whenever I talk to my co workers about this, some male acquaintances make fun of me that just because I am a girl, I fail at this thing.


My issue is that I start exercise with a high spirit and I am really determined to continue with it ever after and even after that :)
But whenever I skip a day or two (due to any reason), then I can't get back to my workout routine for weeks. Just like missing one day becomes an excuse for missing other, and yet another.
Does anyone out there experience similar problems?
What can be the possible solution to keep myself motivated?
Thanks


The same thing happens to me!
Thank you for posting!!!!
:-)


Hey, good to know it was helpful
Which suggestion worked the best for you?
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Re: Failing motivation.. [npda] [ In reply to ]
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npda wrote:
Well, we just can't have it all. Something has to give. Whether it's your sleep, or something has to be given up. Or perhaps you can take a critical look at your hectic life and try to make it more efficient somehow. Literally "run" to do errands? Commute to work by foot or bike?

Not knowing any details about your schedule, I can't really try to help you out, but for me in really hectic times, the best thing is a 5am workout- get it done, get it over, now focus on the rest of the day. But if you're a single mom, for example, this won't work, unless you have a treadmill or trainer.

Where is your sig. other (if you have one) in all this? Sounds like a conversation with him/her would be helpful too...

At the very least, maybe you can be weekend warrior- do one or two workouts during the week and then do crazy doubles or something on the weekend to get your fix.

Good luck


Thanks for the response

1. I try early morning workouts, and thats my routine these days, but when I am dead tired and sleep around 3am, it is hell difficult to get up at 5am. So, the 'easiest' thing in the world seems like skipping the work out.
2. Significant other is busier than me. He has a business to manage, job (other than his own work) and he studies too.
Besides, I have a major contribution in spoiling him, since I treat 'him' like a 'Princess' :)
Other than this, he is really lazy, so even if I ask him to do a favor, its more likely that I will end up doing it myself :)

3. The weekend warrior seems a nice option, and I would really like to try that. BUT, I (problem child) has an issue here too! I have so many things that I have postponed till weekend that I hardly find time on weekend. But I shall give it a try!

Thanks, again!
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Re: Failing motivation.. [chirine.forrest] [ In reply to ]
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I find that this comes with an "all or nothing" mentality.
Either we train (= we are perfect) or we don't (= we are losers). Either we eat exactly what we "should" ( all) or we see ourselves as insufficient (= nothing). Ad nauseum.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with missing a day (or two....) of training. Sometimes the body needs a rest; sometimes the mind does; sometimes life gets out of hand; and sometimes , well, for undefined reasons training just isn't the best thing to be doing that day. And these are ALL valid reasons for a break.
As much as triathletes believe themselves to be perfect specimens, they're aslo human (at least I am).
Respecting time off, appreciating it and keeping it in perspective do NOT signal falling motivation, loser-dom or anything so dire.
The other responses re: setting a goal race, etc. are certainly good ones. My aim is to help you see the bigger picture and to suggest that the extremes are not necessary in your thinking.
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Re: Failing motivation.. [toreishi] [ In reply to ]
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toreishi wrote:
I find that this comes with an "all or nothing" mentality.
Either we train (= we are perfect) or we don't (= we are losers). Either we eat exactly what we "should" ( all) or we see ourselves as insufficient (= nothing). Ad nauseum.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with missing a day (or two....) of training. Sometimes the body needs a rest; sometimes the mind does; sometimes life gets out of hand; and sometimes , well, for undefined reasons training just isn't the best thing to be doing that day. And these are ALL valid reasons for a break.
As much as triathletes believe themselves to be perfect specimens, they're aslo human (at least I am).
Respecting time off, appreciating it and keeping it in perspective do NOT signal falling motivation, loser-dom or anything so dire.
The other responses re: setting a goal race, etc. are certainly good ones. My aim is to help you see the bigger picture and to suggest that the extremes are not necessary in your thinking.


Thanks a real lot for sharing a positive aspect of this situation. However, the thing that worries me is that skipping a day or two makes me get off the track and I end up missing my workout for weeks at a stretch, and it seems even more difficult to get back. Still, thanks for sharing a positive perspective.
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Re: Failing motivation.. [chirine.forrest] [ In reply to ]
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just a thought - do you actually like the type of physical activity you're doing, when you do work out? or do you just do it because it's supposed to be good for you?

when you really love your activity, you'll keep coming back because you miss it when you don't do it. don't like to run? try rock climbing, paddling, speed skating, tapdancing, whatever you can until you find what works for you.

cheers!

-mistress k

__________________________________________________________
ill advised racing inc.
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Re: Failing motivation.. [chirine.forrest] [ In reply to ]
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I am an exercise addict and if I don't exercise I feel sluggish and grumpy. I sleep better when I exercise and enjoy the endorphins when exercising. Additionally my entire family (sibs, parents, aunts, uncles, etc) are obese due to being sedentary and I just don't want to go there. I am a foodie and so exercise lets me eat whatever I want. My motivation comes from all these things. I also hired a coach last fall so that does help me to be very consistent with my workouts. I tend to workout first thing in the morning or over my lunch hours or incorporate the occaisional bike ride as my transportation to the office. I have just made this a priority for myself and think it is important so I do it. Occaisionally due to my busy schedule (I work as a pediatrician and have a family) I do skip a workout but it's because I'm too tired from being on call or craziness at work or home so I need the rest day and I just move on. Hope this helps.
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Re: Failing motivation.. [mistressk] [ In reply to ]
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mistressk wrote:
just a thought - do you actually like the type of physical activity you're doing, when you do work out? or do you just do it because it's supposed to be good for you?

when you really love your activity, you'll keep coming back because you miss it when you don't do it. don't like to run? try rock climbing, paddling, speed skating, tapdancing, whatever you can until you find what works for you.

cheers!

-mistress k

Thanks for the response.
Its not that I don't enjoy it, I love it thoroughly. BUT, no matter how badly I want to go for it, I won't find time.
Even though, some of my friends tell me not to frown about it since you don't need it, but it compels me to come back because I love it.
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Re: Failing motivation.. [fembeast] [ In reply to ]
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fembeast wrote:
I am an exercise addict and if I don't exercise I feel sluggish and grumpy. I sleep better when I exercise and enjoy the endorphins when exercising. Additionally my entire family (sibs, parents, aunts, uncles, etc) are obese due to being sedentary and I just don't want to go there. I am a foodie and so exercise lets me eat whatever I want. My motivation comes from all these things. I also hired a coach last fall so that does help me to be very consistent with my workouts. I tend to workout first thing in the morning or over my lunch hours or incorporate the occaisional bike ride as my transportation to the office. I have just made this a priority for myself and think it is important so I do it. Occaisionally due to my busy schedule (I work as a pediatrician and have a family) I do skip a workout but it's because I'm too tired from being on call or craziness at work or home so I need the rest day and I just move on. Hope this helps.


Yes, your reply was really helpful. My issue is just lack of time...
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Re: Failing motivation.. [chirine.forrest] [ In reply to ]
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If you don't have the time - which is what you keep coming back to again and again - then you don't have the time. You either need to reorganize your life and look at your time management skills or realize that you don't have time to do everything and drop those that you can and that may very well end up being exercise. It's certainly not a perfect solution but neither is beating yourself up about not working out and firing on all cylanders trying to "do everything" is just going to burn you out.


http://smallfoodbiz.com
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Re: Failing motivation.. [lilpups] [ In reply to ]
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I have always found as well, that 20-30 minutes is better than noting, trainer, treadmill or whatever. Most don't need 5 hour rides to feel better. And I easily have 30 minutes of goofing off every day I could use better.

Good luck.
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Re: Failing motivation.. [chirine.forrest] [ In reply to ]
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You've said a couple of times that you don't have the time.
Either you really don't , in which case, you really have no options.
Or, you don't make the time; in which case, only you can draw the line and create, carve out, commit to or otherwise make the time to train.

It is a harsh sentiment (sorry...not quite as "nice" as my last post)- Either you do it or you don't. If your issue is truly time (and not any of the other very valid possibilities others have noted), then it is a matter of you making the commitment.....or not.
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Re: Failing motivation.. [lilpups] [ In reply to ]
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lilpups wrote:
If you don't have the time - which is what you keep coming back to again and again - then you don't have the time. You either need to reorganize your life and look at your time management skills or realize that you don't have time to do everything and drop those that you can and that may very well end up being exercise. It's certainly not a perfect solution but neither is beating yourself up about not working out and firing on all cylanders trying to "do everything" is just going to burn you out.

You made me feel better :) Thanks!
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Re: Failing motivation.. [toreishi] [ In reply to ]
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toreishi wrote:
You've said a couple of times that you don't have the time.
Either you really don't , in which case, you really have no options.
Or, you don't make the time; in which case, only you can draw the line and create, carve out, commit to or otherwise make the time to train.

It is a harsh sentiment (sorry...not quite as "nice" as my last post)- Either you do it or you don't. If your issue is truly time (and not any of the other very valid possibilities others have noted), then it is a matter of you making the commitment.....or not.

I have finally started killing myself :) I get up another half hour early, and manage to get 20 minutes ride every morning. Though so far, getting up even more early seems like the most difficult thing in the whole world, I am trying to build up my routine.
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Re: Failing motivation.. [chirine.forrest] [ In reply to ]
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I am really surprised to read that skipping a day/planned training has such an effect on other people as well. I was convinced that it is my personal problem. I train only 3 times per week as 3 kids, full time work, house, etc do not permit more. I have noticed that if I skip one training then it is like a cascade of events triggered by that single case, so I try to avoid skipping as much as possible. I make exceptions related to travel and serious health problems. My schedule is very irregular but I try to fit at least 2 workouts into the first half of the week so that I have more flexibility scheduling the 3rd one or even squeezing 4th into the week.

5 times per week sounds a lot to me. If skipping a workout has a tendency to influence all your training maybe it would be wiser to decide to go for 4 workouts per week and do 5 only if you have time/feel like it. It is a little like cheating yourself but if you call the 5th workout a voluntarily extra instead of an obligation, it might work. Also, this way weeks with 5 workouts look like you have achieved sth special instead of just struggling through your regular routine.
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Re: Failing motivation.. [Kivisisalik] [ In reply to ]
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Kivisisalik wrote:
I am really surprised to read that skipping a day/planned training has such an effect on other people as well. I was convinced that it is my personal problem. I train only 3 times per week as 3 kids, full time work, house, etc do not permit more. I have noticed that if I skip one training then it is like a cascade of events triggered by that single case, so I try to avoid skipping as much as possible. I make exceptions related to travel and serious health problems. My schedule is very irregular but I try to fit at least 2 workouts into the first half of the week so that I have more flexibility scheduling the 3rd one or even squeezing 4th into the week.

5 times per week sounds a lot to me. If skipping a workout has a tendency to influence all your training maybe it would be wiser to decide to go for 4 workouts per week and do 5 only if you have time/feel like it. It is a little like cheating yourself but if you call the 5th workout a voluntarily extra instead of an obligation, it might work. Also, this way weeks with 5 workouts look like you have achieved sth special instead of just struggling through your regular routine.

This seems really practical. I never thought about it this way. 5 seems a real lot :) However, if I can only put myself together to keep up routine up to 4 days, it will be great. At least I wont end up with a full week when I didn't work out at all. Thanks for such a wonderful suggestion.
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