I spent my 20's rowing - which was a very healthy sport for body image (unless you were a lightweight, which I definitely wasn't). I quickly realized that my body was there to do things WITH and not just to hang clothes ON.
Now that I am doing triathlon, I am smaller, but I could still easily race Athena.
I've qualified for Kona twice, and the girls who end up passing me are of ALL shapes and sizes - some small, some curvier.
Women store their fat subcutaneously - so it's really difficult to look at someone and properly gage how much muscle they really have underneath it all. So, that's why I think race results are a really good way to look at what's underneath it all!
If my livelihood was triathlon, it might be worthwhile for me to try to ride the line to see how much closer to 12% bodyfat I could get. I guess I am not vain enough to do such a thing for aesthetics only. Packing on lean tissue and building bone density are good things to do when you are young - since things like atrophy and osteoporosis are what make us lose life function when we are old. And, last I heard, female athlete triad wasn't such a great path to building lean tissue or bone density...

It has taken several years, but I finally am at the point where I am very happy with my body. I could definitely stand to lose a few pounds (5'8" and 165, size 10), but that's not stopping me from being happy with where I am. If the weight comes off, great. If it doesn't, then that's fine too. I still feel good about myself.

Here's a few things that have helped me:

• Buy clothes that look really good on you, not just clothes that are ok. If it doesn't look fabulous on you, then don't buy it. Wear form fitting clothes - not baggy sweats and jeans. Also, make time to go shopping (something I'm not very good at). There are lots of celebs that have extra weight, but they look great because they dress themselves really well.
• Confidence goes a long way in how you feel about yourself. Tell yourself you look great, walk like you know you look good. If you hold yourself and present yourself to others like you know you are good, then you start feeling really good. Pretend that you're in a play where your part is a self-confident beautiful woman. Then, play that part every day.
• My husband tells me every single day how beautiful I am. He really is amazing with how often he says this. I'm not kidding either - every day he tells me I'm beautiful and how great I look. After 17 years I'm finally starting to believe him.
• Get rid of the negative people in your life. Life is too short to be wasting time on that.
• Eat to fuel your body for energy, but also allow yourself some treats now and then.
• I've worked really hard at eating more naturally. Less processed foods, less meat, more fruits, veggies, beans, whole grains.

We all agree that anorexics and bulimics just can't see how thin they really are. If they would just stop seeing themselves as fat, then they would realize how great they can look. Well, I think that many of us are just one step away from that mentality. Sure, we may have a little extra weight on, but we're not 200 lbs overweight, so why can't we like ourselves the way that we are? Why do we think of ourselves as fat when we are size 8, 10, 12 or 14?

Germaine embraces her jiggly butt. http://www.illwillpress.com/jigg.html

I don't want to buy a whole new wardrobe, so I need to shed the SF pounds I've put on since moving here.

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Awww, Katy's not all THAT evil. Only slightly evil. In a good way. - JasoninHalifax

"Your ass is the least of your problems" :-) I need to remind myself of that sometimes. :p

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mmm-mmm-Momo Charms
Handmade beverage charms, jewelry, and miscellanea
http://momocharms.wordpress.com

You know, I think as athletes we are less likely to be happy with our appearance than the general population. It goes right along with the type A, perfectionist attitude. I'm not sure it's ever possible for us to be completely happy with our own performances (or weight/body composition), but if we saw the same results from our friends we'd think everything was fine and we'd tell them how well they were doing.


wow -- that was really insightful (and touched me).

I have thoughts to add to this thread but haven't the time to sit and write them right now... I will get to it.

love
tc

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maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD

Very good thread. Like someone else said, I am fat for a triathlete (and ask many of the dudes in the main forum...they will tell you. But, it's 50 pounds less than before. I just read the race report of one of mine and Katy's bike racing teammates and thought it dead on.

"Legs don't fail me now. If they can't fit into designer denim, the least they can do is carry me through this race."

Love that!

clm

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clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com

Amen, DawnT! I'm 49, have been doing tris for 4 years (sprints mostly, a few Olys, and one HIM), and I can honestly say that I've never been happier about myself and my body in my entire life. I've never had a weight problem but somehow I finally embraced my inner and outer A cup physique. We all have our issues.

Looking back, I think the hardest part of tris for me was actually showing up at a pool wearing a swimsuit. Can you imagine? Not swimming because you hate yourself in a swimsuit? See the size A cup comment above. Somewhere along the way, I just let go of my shame and embarrassment. It was just too much of a burden and I guess I internalized the India Arie song 'Video.'

Lame, I know, but I finally decided that my creator didn't make a mistake on me. I'm so focused on what I can do, and how I can help other women get into this sport, that I don't really have the time and energy to waste fretting about something I can't change. Well, I know I can change my breast size via saline or whatever, but how would that help somebody else who might need encouragement?

If I had a magic wand, I'd wave it over the womens forum and just let you all know that if you show up to race or participate in a triathlon, or know a triathlete, or think you might want to try one some day, I consider you all incredibly beautiful. You are. You really are.

So I was REALLY skinny growing up - like force fed, given tonics to make me hungry.....then at around 12 I went from wanting breasts (like the girl in ballet who had them) to thinking I was fat. It was like someone flipped a switch. As a teenage ballerina I was anorexia/bullimia defined! I am almost 5'5" and back then weighed as little as 95 pounds. I battled with eating disorders until my early 20s. I am grateful that I had a full blown eating disorder because it made me deal with my body dysmorphic disorder that I think MOST women suffer from - we have magazines with unreal looking women and hold that up as 'ideal'.

What helped me was therapy, a life drawing class (the dichotomy of thinking women were beautiful who were a heck of a lot larger than me was not lost on me) and books by Kim Chernin (The Hungry Self was one and I forget the title of the other). She talked much about how with the rise of feminism we suddenly wanted bodies of 12 year old boys rather than embracing what makes us strong and special as women - breasts, hips - they are what nurture, grow babies, feed them....

Pregnancy and then the body I had breast feeding helped tremendously - I really appreciated what my body could do and it was a whole new body to get to know.

Now I am 45, and weigh about 140, roughly 18% body fat, size 6/8 and I see my imperfections and you know what? it is really ok. I look and feel good. Training I appreciate what my body can do.

If losing 5-10 pounds would make me faster - oh well, I am not a professional triathlete. And I am NOT willing to deal with deprivation nor going to bed hungry or any of the other ridiculous things that get posted. I like being a sexy woman and if I am fat for a triathlete ok - I look good in my clothes, and certainly NOT fat by medical standards nor normal people standards -- so if too-skinny-for-my-taste-endurance-athletes think I am fat - fine by me - I think they are srawny. I like men with shoulders and good arms. And women are supposed to have hips!!! again, the 12-year-old-boy body is NOT sexy nor feminine to me - and does not look good.

I can honestly say I like my body - imperfections and all - let me tell you, breast feeding 2 kids for 15 months each did not do nice things to my breasts - they are now deflated envelope flap-like breasts - but they did what they were supposed to do! Going from almost a B to DD for that long and then back just does not happen without consequences and I am fine with that sacrifice. Thankfully I make my living as a physician, not as a model.

To those who are hung up and spend lots of energy on their body image I would encourage you to seek treatment. Think of all you could accomplish if your head space were cleared!

-cat

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cat
Sponsored by Suntheanine, Lycored and Celadrin
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Cat, is is really generous and brave of you to share all of that information. Thanks.

I would venture to say, though....I'm not so sure about this "fat for a triathlete" language I have seen a few times on this thread. Isn't ST the mecca for triathletes? I mean how much more authentic can we get than ST...yet people both here and on the Open Fourm, so many of them honestly report to being larger than "the models".

IMO -- competetive RUNNERS are thin by definition, but I observe that triathletes are more well rounded.

In the words of a local champion triathlete with whom I was chatting after a race, "Triathletes have sexy bodies". :-)

meow. great post cat!!!

Right there with ya! And now at 30 (as of, oh, today) I know it is going to be that much harder. I need to kick the candy habit...so hard!

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Tiger for Life -- War Eagle!

Happy birthday :-)

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mmm-mmm-Momo Charms
Handmade beverage charms, jewelry, and miscellanea
http://momocharms.wordpress.com

Thank you!

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Tiger for Life -- War Eagle!

Happy Birthday! Are you doing something fun to celebrate?

I get to hit 39 in one month...

We're celebrating really on Thursday and Saturday. Nice dinner out Thursday and party on Saturday. I asked my dear sweet hubby to please not bring me home candy yesterday b/c I was "saving" for Thursday and Saturday. In he walks with a 2 giant bags of twizzlers and a carton of Whoppers. 2 of my faves I never get. I had a couple and made him hide them for Saturday! He said he just couldn't resist getting them for me (which means, he wanted something sweet too!)

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Tiger for Life -- War Eagle!

Wow, when I pulled up this thread today, it made me think about a conversation I had with my just-turned 11 year old daughter yesterday.

My daughter was in a competitive dance company from the time she was 6 until 10. For a number of reasons, my husband and I came to be less than thrilled with that (i.e., cost, time commitment as she was in it more for her friends than for the actual dancing, the provocative dance routines/costumes/makeup, etc.). Last school year we attempted to "manipulate" her away from dance by putting her in a year round swim team program, as we wanted her to quit dance but wanted it to ultimately be her decision. At the beginning of this school year she decided to quit dance and focus exclusively on swimming. She (and we) have never regretted the decision. She is much happier and has more free time, and her grades are better than ever.

Anyway... Yesterday I asked her if she noticed that dancers' and swimmers' bodies were different. That's all I said, no additional prompting. She said, "Yes! I used to feel fat at dance, but the swimmers are regular girls and I don't feel big anymore!" This is coming from a girl who has not one ounce of extra fat on her (4'10" and 80 lbs.). Last year on several occasions she mentioned being "fat," but I haven't heard her say that in quite a long time. We took the opportunity to chat about how there is a variety of healthy body types. I am SO glad that she is in a much healthier environment now!

That's wonderful to hear about your daughter. I often wonder what would have happened if I'd been on a sports team instead of dancing.

M

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The beatings will continue until morale improves

Me too. Sports just instills so much confidence in young girls. I was in rec dance from the age of 3 until I graduated from high school, because that's what girls did. I grew up in the 70's and 80's, so we didn't have as many options as girls do now. I remember asking my mom if I could be on a swim team, and since it would have involved driving quite a distance, she said no. I would have LOVED to swim as a kid! You get that same flowy feeling from swimming as you do from dance, but with more acceptance of a less than perfect body (not that the pressure isn't there with swimming, but it's just more prevalent with dance).

Good for you! That is awesome to hear.

I did ballet until 13 when my giant (Ds really!) boobs and hips showed up. I was basically booted out the door. I had always done sports as well, so I turned to basketball, volleyball, t&f, xc to get my fix. I remember being really upset about being pushed out of ballet because I was "fat" even though I was a stick with big bumps & ba-donk. My mom, who is a stick with no bumps and did ballet to a very high level was pretty disappointed in me. But by then our relationship had tanked anyways. :-( My dad on the other hand was proud of his girl who could out run and out muscle most guys on the court.

AP

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"How bad could it be?" - SimpleS

okay as the mom of a 20 year old I just have to say.....Who says that!? That's horrible. Your mom should be your biggest champion and if she is saying stuff like that to you, she's got the issues, probably her own self esteem issues. Moms can't really get a break though, my daughter doesn't believe anything I say, if I tell her she's gorgeous, she's not fat (she's is gorgeous and she isn't fat) she says that I just say that because I'm her mom!!

The first thing I noticed about the women who did triathlon was that they were so much healthier looking than women runners. It's one thing that convinced me to cross train in the first place which led to triathlon in the second place!

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Nor do I use punctuation in the way a child sprinkles glitter over a ribbon of glue on construction paper - Trash Talk

I wasn't an athelete until my early 30s. I just turned 39 on Sunday and since I started running at the age of 31 I've run 5 marathons, done 3 Half Ironmans, 3 ultramarathons and 2 Ironmans. Those are just the big ones. Lots of half marathons, sprints, olys, etc.

I wish I'd done sports in jr high. I honestly think I'd be a better athlete and feel better about myself if I had. I remember asking my mom if I could play softball in jr high because all my friends were playing. She said no because it was too hard for her to pick me up after practice. Then, in HS I tried playing field hockey and got grief from my parents about it being too rough. She was right, I was only 5'2" and just over 100lbs, but that wasn't the point. I did do tennis for 2 years and neither one of parents ever came to a match. When I asked why my mom said, "Well, you don't play very much do you?" I was on JV. They went nuts about my brother playing little league and soccar but alas, I was born a girl. I love parents who were raised in the 40s and 50s.

College was all about beer.

I'm practicing feeling better about myself in my bathing suit. I'm not jumping right in the pool when I get there but standing proudly at the end of the lane and looking around. Unfortunately I'm headed to tri camp next week and will be looking at a bunch of super fit people. But, I will be in Maui!

I would say I feel better about myself than the "typical" woman who doesn't workout. But, it is a question of embracing my body for what it does for me and not criticizing it for what it isn't.

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Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce

That's wonderful to hear about your daughter. I often wonder what would have happened if I'd been on a sports team instead of dancing.

M

It's good to be in sports and competitive and revel in our bodies...but also be aware that certain sports, eating disorders and poor body image and unhealthy habits are RAMPANT. As someone who grew up a runner, I saw a LOT of girls go through some really rough stuff. Esp. when we moved from jr. high age to high school (where it is very common to see 7th graders running Varsity, only to fall off and never recover after they hit puberty).

So for all of you moms/sisters/etc. out there, YAY!!! For encouraging smart, healthy feelings about your bodies :-) It's so good to have strong role models!

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mmm-mmm-Momo Charms
Handmade beverage charms, jewelry, and miscellanea
http://momocharms.wordpress.com

I danced for a year when I was six so the only "pressure" was to look cute in our little sailor outfits...

but I am suprised that your daughter found swimming to be such a "healthy" environment. How can you spend so much time in a swimsuit and NOT feel so many eyes on what you look like? I became severely anorexic in high school... it started swimming. I don't remember so much wanting to be thinner (that came later) as being unhappy with my race times and somehow thinking that not eating would help. Like if I were smaller I would swim faster? I don't know what flawed logic I had. Or maybe it was being unhappy with myself and not eating as 'punishment.' It was more likely a way to control something when I was swimming my little tail off every day and not getting any faster (and that cycle got worse when I pretty much stopped eating).

The skewed body image came much later for me but I still feel it. Watching local college championship meets, I was surprised at how 'big' some of the girls looked (then again maybe that's just my skewed perception) but they are fast as hell. My roommate is a D1 swimmer. She always tells me "I wish I were skinny as you." My reply to that is usually, "I wish I had your 200 fly times." I know logically that swimmers aren't thin [well as thin as runners] but I still fight that... anyway, I STILL feel "fat" in my swimsuit sometimes. It's annoying as hell. Yesterday AM I ran and thought I looked too thin in the shorts and tank top I was wearing. I went to the pool in the afternoon and when I put my swimsuit on, "where did being thin go?" it didn't help that we had mirrors in the bottom of the pool yesterday so you could see a couple of your strokes as you swam over them... :P

I have gotten to the point where I can look at models and know I don't want to look like that, they have no muscle. Quite frankly I'm not sure how they manage to WALK and I bet I could out swim/run/bike them and that's more important. And I've come to realize how airbrushed photos in fashion magazines are... they look SO fake if you really look. Those don't bother me. The body image stuff I have trouble with is tri photos, actually. Like race pictures of top triathletes... and how lean they look and how thin. Then I feel un-thin.

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maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD

I'm not surprised to hear that the skewed body image persists in other sports as well (it's ironic as well, given that we were forbidden by our dance studio to do track and field because it would make our thighs "huge" -- true story!) I'm not sure there's any physical activity done by women in their teens/20's where this issue doesn't rear it's ugly head. As someone who also discovered sports in her 30's, I think it's easier for me to forget that I've gained a great deal of life experience/perspective in the interim that allows me to focus on the positive aspects of training (look how fast/far I can go now!) and not the negative sides that probably would have reared their ugly head regardless of activity.

I second the positive role models sentiment, though -- if there are enough of these women in the world, maybe we get rid of this madness once and for all!

M

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The beatings will continue until morale improves

You all would have been very proud of me today. I am headed to Maui for tri camp next week and the only bathing suits I own are for training in the pool. I decided I will need to make a bit more of a fashion statement on our beach time so I went down to the local swim shop. Oh my. Trying on suits is really really harsh. Every time I got really negative I'd think of all of you and remind myself that I am an Ironman athlete so who gives a shit about the saddlebags and cottage cheese thighs.

No bikini but I know what looks good and what doesn't. I got a cute suit that shows off my shoulders and back, drawing the eyes away from the lower half. I also went out and got a rediculously expensive pair of Armani sunglasses that will definitly show off the swank haircut I'm getting.

Draw the eye upward, girls!

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Jen

"In order to keep a true perspective on one's importance, everyone should have a dog that worships him and a cat that will ignore him." - Dereke Bruce