What would make him embarrassed about finishing last? There's only embarrassment (at that age, particularly) in finishing last if someone suggests that to him, imo.
Kid should just go out there and have fun. Maybe try and find another group of kids that do tri's (we have KOS, Kids of Steel, here). I did my first cross country race when I was 9. Absolutely no pressure from anyone. 100% my choice - I came home from school one day and announced that I had joined the cross country team, to an overjoyed dad haha. I "trained" with the school and did the race on my terms.
My first tri was around 11 I think. My dad got me in the pool a couple times just to make sure I could do the swim, but pretty much left it at that because I was too busy with track & ballet to do much more. I was last out of the pool (actually at all the tri's I did when I was younger), but I felt no shame in it - especially after I rocked everyone through the bike and run haha.

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I know I'm promiscuous, but in a classy way

I think it's probably going to be difficult for any parent that doesn't have their own self-confidence to instill it in their children... especially when it comes to sports. I hope she can see beyond that and just tell N to go out there, have fun and do their best! I know if I had a son or daughter that showed interest in triathlon, I would be elated!

I put on a kids triathlon every year and both my girls have been at it for ages.

The biggest issue with kids in triathlon is the baggage that parents put on their shoulders. The kids are cool if they are having fun - really. It's the parents that tell them to 'hurry up', 'catch that kid', 'run don't walk', etc. Just encourage your friend to keep her comments positive and neutral and let her kid have their own unique experience. the child may hate it but they deserve a chance to discover the sport on their own. Parents can be honest about their fears and concerns but try to take that up with race organization, and out of earshot of the kids. Just chill about it - it's just a new thing to try out and everybody is going to have fun watching and cheering no matter what.

What I tell the kids if they are worried about finishing last is that they are faster than all the kids that didn't show up to race and that its about achieving the goal you set for yourself and the journey it takes to get there.. Nobody comes into the world ready to swim/bike/run - it takes practice. Finish, set a goal for the next race and have fun.

Can't speak for other races but all our finishers get medals and pull a rubber duck from a plastic swimming pool to take to the door prize tent. They also get timing chips, ice sponges, exclusive access to the post race food/drink tent - we strive to treat them like the athletes that they are, no matter what their time. Kid love being 'real athletes' on race day.

Wow... I got jacked when I was a kid!! haha :)

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I know I'm promiscuous, but in a classy way

agree 100% its the baggage of the parents
I used to go to this tru in Windsor, Ont where the kids went the day before, then the parents...this one woman would go and be screaming at her kid to hurry up etc and was so intense and very annoying, but worst of all the kid seemed to be having zero fun. Then it was fun to beat her the next day at the adult tri! :) her kid was about 3 years old too! and I saw her do this every year for a few years after....sad.
My niece, however, just had a blast and she had NO idea she came in LAST 2 years in a row! no idea at all! and man did she wear that medal proudly! it was awesome!

My 12 year old did a tri a couple of years ago and had a blast. She's looking into another one to do this summer. I would like to encourage my 9 year old to do one too because I know how much she'll enjoy it. But, she's at that age where she stresses about anything new. So, my husband and I told her that she can only do the triathlon is she comes in last. She's not allowed to go faster than last. She laughed at that. Of course, it's a bit of a joke, but our point is that she just needs to finish. It doesn't matter if she has to walk. It's just going to be fun for her to do her best.

I think your friend should encourage her son to do the race just for fun. She should tell him not to get stressed out by the kids who take it really seriously (there are always a few) and just do what he can. The first tri is simply a benchmark to see how you can do. From that point on, your goal is just to try to get a bit faster. I would do everything I could to encourage him to do this race. There is no downside to it even if he is last. He will have a blast and he won't even care (as long as his mother doesn't care).

I thought there was good advice on the other thread, namely, let the kid have fun. No need to over think it. The only kids I've seen tat didn't appear to be having fun were the ones whose parents were yelling at them.

First, last or anywhere in between, most kid's races give medals to all finishers so they have a memento of their race and accomplishment.

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Awww, Katy's not all THAT evil. Only slightly evil. In a good way. - JasoninHalifax

my boys (10 and 12) are racing this weekend in their first tri - it is a kids' tri that goes as young as 5 and 6. they are so excited. they race saturday, I race sunday - they are stoked!

if a child is interested have them go for it! they will have a blast!

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cat
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x2. i thot the other thread handled it well.