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Another Menopause Q: Emotions
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So this has more to do with your experience, experience with others, perceptions, and dealing with a co worker. I'm currently 50 and on Nuva-Ring. My current OB-Gyn is great and basically is of the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" and explained that if I go off it, I will have symptoms, most likely heavy periods, blah blah. I mostly stay on as a migraine avoidance prophylactic.

I currently don't have any symptoms like night sweats, hot flashes, and obviously periods are regular b/c of NR, sleep is pretty OK, nothing like I hear friends talk about, just the usual once in awhile awakening but I also use melatonin.

I have a pretty strong personality in general, have never been shy to voice my opinion. Obviously as one ages, confidence grows, and confidence in one's opinions and position in life grows as well, too, right?

Co worker is 57 (inactive and overweight) and seems like right around 48/49 and especially now 50 she'll take every opportunity to make cracks about the "silent passage" and attribute almost anything I do (in front of other co workers) to menopause. IMHO very guy like. I at one point said something like you know I'm on hormones, to which she replied "Oh sh!t, better double up in the next couple years." Then I tried to reason with her, "Why is it OK for a man to have an opinion and stick up for himself but a 50 y/o woman is called menopausal?"

Now deep down my gut says, she is annoyed that I am not acting like poltergeist, that I just ran a marathon, that I have more or less maintained my weight (I'm no skinny minny, but...)

ON THE OTHER HAND, I wonder AM I acting like a lunatic? Is being opinionated, not letting another co-worker who constantly lies get away with it anymore, sticking up for yourself being "hormonal?" How do you know if you are acting up and down emotionally and that it is affecting other people or if she's just disappointed I'm not behaving as she'd hoped?
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Re: Another Menopause Q: Emotions [cindyloohoo] [ In reply to ]
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Do you have another coworker who you trust? If so, you could ask him/her. But, I would just not worry about it. There's nothing wrong with being confident and opinionated. If you're really worried, then just try to tone it down a bit and relax more. Maybe you don't need to speak up at *every* situation. Let stuff go. Water off a duck's back, blah, blah, blah. Be the strong, silent type and just smile at this woman when she makes a comment.
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Re: Another Menopause Q: Emotions [cindyloohoo] [ In reply to ]
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Great advice from DawnT.

Your co-worker sounds difficult -- possibly in some psychic or physical pain that she eases by being judgmental about others. Annoyed? hell yeah, that your midlife isn't as miserable and disappointing as hers has been. Because you are walking proof that playing the victim isn't the only way to deal with it.

There's a grain of truth here though -- i found that after menopause my social self-consciousness has pretty much evaporated. Not a bad thing for an introvert, but if you're already extroverted you may find yourself on the outer edge of the spectrum of 'plain spoken'.

Honestly, though, if this woman isn't a superior i wouldn't worry too much about what she thinks. It's wasted energy and i bet you've got better places to put it.
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Re: Another Menopause Q: Emotions [cindyloohoo] [ In reply to ]
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 I wouldn't share a bit of personal information with her. That's an invitation for her to continue her inappropriate behavior. I'd just clearly state that her remarks are unprofessional and inappropriate. I do agree about the double standards. A man can loose his temper at work and it will be accepted as a bad day. A woman can easily be classified as an emotional mess..especially if a co-worker has been insinuating that she might have hormonal issues.
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Re: Another Menopause Q: Emotions [DawnT] [ In reply to ]
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Thank you so much for the replies. Yeah, I need to keep my eye on the ball. She is not a superior. I keep meaning to get a rubberband for my wrist, LOL, to remind myself to shut my trap :) . Part of my gut feels like she is trying to goad me into reaction to "prove" her point: "See she IS a crazy hormonal b!tch." I've rehearsed all these lines I'd like to say -- like when another co worker, about 42, who's equally as opinionated goes off on a rant, by saying in front of her "be careful, X might accuse you of being menopausal" but then that's just feeding into what she wants. <sigh>

I don't have anyone at work I can ask. But I did ask my husband (I know dangerous territory, ha ha) no, really he's a gem, if I act all crazy up and down, irrational emotional roller coaster-ish, and he said "you're not like that around me at all. I don't know how you are at work." Anyway......big deep breath. Thankfully we each have a Telecommute day per week to ease contact!
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Re: Another Menopause Q: Emotions [lam] [ In reply to ]
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lam wrote:
I wouldn't share a bit of personal information with her. That's an invitation for her to continue her inappropriate behavior. I'd just clearly state that her remarks are unprofessional and inappropriate. I do agree about the double standards. A man can loose his temper at work and it will be accepted as a bad day. A woman can easily be classified as an emotional mess..especially if a co-worker has been insinuating that she might have hormonal issues.

^This. I think you should take her aside and tell her that this is unacceptable conversation for a work place. I'm sure other bodily functions aren't freely discussed!

Wanda
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