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(updated: dinner survived)
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I'm visiting my brother in Salt Lake City. It has been "spoil Ian week" (fine it has been a little bit of Spoil Allison Week too as I'm on vacation-ish). My parents said his favorite restaurant was The Copper Onion, and I was curious to see the place. I also figured treating he and his girlfriend to dinner would be a good thing to do as they've been putting up with me for 10 days.

I thought this place was going to be like a pub (Ian likes good burgers). It is not. It is fancy. There is a "cork fee" with wine. This is a new thing for me but I think it's like the Seinfeld episode where Jerry is buying a car and Putty charges him $500 for the keys: Jerry "500 for KEYS?" Putty "you want to drive the thing don't you?"

It's not the fanciness that's making me anxious it's the having to eat thing. Have looked at the menu and found a couple salads that look good. This is still not quelling my anxiety. Going out sounded SO FUN last night when we made these plans and right up until a couple minutes ago when I had breakfast, ate more calories than I think I should have, and now we are in freak-out. In addition to being anxious, I am now mad because I want to have FUN going out, not be a little bundle of nerves.

Humph.

I guess my (completely unrealistic eating disordered fear) is that I will plan to eat a salad + some veggie sides, yet get force-fed the mushroom pasta or something else equally fattening, which will lead to wanting to purge, which is the most un-fun feeling in the world to sit through.

Proud member of Fishtwitch and the ST Grammar Police
disclaimer: PhD not MD
Last edited by: tigerchik: Sep 27, 13 13:06
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Re: Going out for a fancy dinner tonight and am WAY ANXIOUS [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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I get your anxiety. I wish I had good advice for you. I guess if I were in your place I'd eat what I could, as long as you don't think it will make you want to purge. Try not to eat trigger foods.
You know you're fine as far as calories, and that you can burn off anything you eat tonight easily. Which, I know, doesn't help prevent the urge to purge. What are some of your other coping mechanisms when you've been in this position before. What's worked for you.

I'm sorry that something that was going to be fun is turning out not to be. I hate it when that happens. Enjoy your brother before you head back to Oregon. Good luck.
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Re: Going out for a fancy dinner tonight and am WAY ANXIOUS [nad] [ In reply to ]
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You know you're fine as far as calories, and that you can burn off anything you eat tonight easily. Which, I know, doesn't help prevent the urge to purge.

I am feeling a little better. I've got things to entertain me this afternoon - some work to do and some fun stuff and maybe take the dog for a walk - and I am going to take a nap as we're not going out until late.

Purging can be one of two things, one is throwing up (I'm actually pretty rotten at doing it, and rarely do, but I still get the URGE to) and the other is exercising a lot the next day to burn off the calories. I do NOT want to do that (a) because it's no fun and (b) I am racing Saturday so I need fresh legs which means no hard or long workouts tomorrow.

Am reminding self that the fear of being force fed mushroom pasta is just a fear. No one is going to force feed me. I am an adult and get to pick what I want.

Proud member of Fishtwitch and the ST Grammar Police
disclaimer: PhD not MD
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Re: Going out for a fancy dinner tonight and am WAY ANXIOUS [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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I want you to know that I'm proud of you for taking this problem head- on. It sounds like you have a good plan for tonight and will do well.
Good luck on Saturday. Let us know how you do.
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Re: Going out for a fancy dinner tonight and am WAY ANXIOUS [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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given that you are racing then the extra calories would be fine!
screw the salad eat something that sounds great, put your fork down between bites so that you do not overeat and have that stuffed feeling

no need to purge - you are racing!!!
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Re: Going out for a fancy dinner tonight and am WAY ANXIOUS [TriGirrrrl] [ In reply to ]
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TriGirrrrl wrote:
given that you are racing then the extra calories would be fine!
screw the salad eat something that sounds great, put your fork down between bites so that you do not overeat and have that stuffed feeling

no need to purge - you are racing!!!
Yes.


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DISH is how we do it.
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Re: Going out for a fancy dinner tonight and am WAY ANXIOUS [TriGirrrrl] [ In reply to ]
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put your fork down between bites so that you do not overeat and have that stuffed feeling


That is probably the key
The stuffed feeling is the WORSTEST ;-)

Am back to excited, still a little anxious but mostly excited.

I wish I knew how big their portions were - I can handle something-other-than-salad if it's normal-sized, but places that put an entire box of pasta on your plate freak me out.

Proud member of Fishtwitch and the ST Grammar Police
disclaimer: PhD not MD
Last edited by: tigerchik: Sep 26, 13 17:47
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Re: Going out for a fancy dinner tonight and am WAY ANXIOUS [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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I don't know if you live in the States, but I find the portion sizes there are typically insanely large unless you are someplace really upscale. Maybe section off what looks to you to be a reasonable dinner worth of food, and count on taking the rest home with you. That way you can enjoy your awesome food over a couple of meals. Bonus, if you do pasta, you'll have your perfect pre-race carb load dinner already made for you tomorrow. :) Enjoy!

http://must-be-half-crazy.blogspot.ca/
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Re: Going out for a fancy dinner tonight and am WAY ANXIOUS [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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I so understand how you are feeling. I've been having to experiment with "nutrition" on the bike & run for the IM distance, and it scares the hell out of me. I have taught myself for so long that sugar is BAD BAD BAD. I used to imagine that sweet stuff was maggots crawling around in my mouth. Now that I am fairly normally weighted (fairly), I have to un-do all of those negative thoughts so I can eat gus & gels & sweet drinks. It's almost paralyzing.

You're not alone.

Let us know how your dinner went. I hope you had a fabulous time.

~~ kate
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Re: Going out for a fancy dinner tonight and am WAY ANXIOUS [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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Howd it go?
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Re: Going out for a fancy dinner tonight and am WAY ANXIOUS [dreaming~big] [ In reply to ]
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kate, thanks for understanding the almost-paralyzing nature of it... I haven't had one of those 'attacks' in awhile. It did settle down.

It went well. I think I didn't eat too much and I did not have any desire to make myself throw up and I am reminding myself that those calories are going to be good come tomorrow.

Evening report: got to the restaurant at 8:30 and had a 9:00 reservation, so we walked around the city for a bit - the temple was beautiful. I was surprised at how quiet the city was. I think it was partly the culture (I'm in Salt Lake) and partly that we were in a downtown area near the temple/mall (not the bars). My only city experience is Boston and this is way different. I do REALLY like it and this is on my list of places to look for a job...

Anyway, we went back to the restaurant. Brother and his GF ordered drinks; I was dd-ing. Tried to decide between fried mushrooms/potato/egg and ricotta dumplings. Brother gently hinted "get something you can't make or get" so I went with the dumplings, a salad, and we split some sides (a beet salad, green beans, and steak fries). The dumplings were really good as was the beet salad. The first fry was good then I lost interest (though I ate a couple). We split a bread pudding for dessert. I left feeling full but not feeling guilty or like I needed to purge.

One of brother's friends just took a different job so there was a party at a bar... brother wanted to stop on the way home, so we did. I was tired but it was fun to meet more of his friends. We got back around 11:30 and I didn't fall asleep until a bit past midnight.

I woke up this morning feeling a little antsy, but I went for a hike rather than run - this is a victory as (a) need to not run today and (b) it's not giving into the you-need-to-go-run voices and (c) I had wanted to do this hike. Took the dog and she was a good additional 'focus point' for me as she is so fun to watch. There was snow halfway up the trail so we played "fetch" with snowballs.

I am proud of myself - have been this whole trip, actually - I came out here to be Support for Brother and think I have done a good job doing whatever he wants/needs, adjusting my exercise schedule so I can be up late (adjustment to exercise schedule = huge deal for me)

Hopefully my legs are not too sore to race tomorrow hee hee hee
Thanks for all the support, ladies. Much appreciated.

Proud member of Fishtwitch and the ST Grammar Police
disclaimer: PhD not MD
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Re: Going out for a fancy dinner tonight and am WAY ANXIOUS [surroundhound] [ In reply to ]
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I don't know if you live in the States, but I find the portion sizes there are typically insanely large unless you are someplace really upscale. Maybe section off what looks to you to be a reasonable dinner worth of food, and count on taking the rest home with you. That way you can enjoy your awesome food over a couple of meals. Bonus, if you do pasta, you'll have your perfect pre-race carb load dinner already made for you tomorrow. :) Enjoy!

I am currently in the States. I agree that portions are large unless it is an upscale place... note for the future that this place had reasonable portion sizes :-) that helped.

Proud member of Fishtwitch and the ST Grammar Police
disclaimer: PhD not MD
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Re: Going out for a fancy dinner tonight and am WAY ANXIOUS [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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I'm a little late to the party here, but I just wanted to say congrats for making it through this dinner so well. You handled it perfectly! So proud of you, TC.
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Re: Going out for a fancy dinner tonight and am WAY ANXIOUS [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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I'm super proud of you. Well done.
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Re: Going out for a fancy dinner tonight and am WAY ANXIOUS [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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That is awesome, just awesome. A huge step forward, NOT offset by two steps back. I've been thinking a lot about you since we chatted even though I haven't had the time to sit and write you back, and this is wicked encouraging to hear :o)

FWIW.... Something I have found very useful is asking for a box right up front if the portion looks excessive (which, let's face it, it almost always does in the US!) and clearing half my plate before I even take a bite. That helps me not feel bad about finishing everything in front of me and quells some of the anxiety that I've eaten too much.
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Re: Going out for a fancy dinner tonight and am WAY ANXIOUS [tigerchik] [ In reply to ]
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If the serving is massive when it arrives, you can immediately request a box, put the portion you don't want to eat in the box, and be done with the decision.

I do this a LOT and then the food isn't staring at me and I'm not tempted to pick at it once I feel done.


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