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My daughter tried to kill herself this morning
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I've written before that my elder daughter suffers from depression. This morning while I was in California and my wife was at work she tried to kill herself with an overdose of pills.

Fortunately she failed. Over the last few months she fooled all of us. Her doctors her parents her friends telling all of us that she was doing good when she wasn't.

After she gets out of the emergency room they're going to transfer her to an adolescent psychiatric hospital. Tomorrow is her birthday and I will be home to visit with her which itself is a blessing.

My wife asked her this afternoon when she planned on killing herself and she said last night because she knew we'd all be gone

It's been a long day. As I sit here in the Sacramento Airport I keep wondering what I could have done differently, what anybody could have done differently, but in the end I don't think there was anything we could have changed. She knew what she wanted to do, she told us the right things and in the end she almost succeeded.

I know that some of you are in similar situations. I wish I could give you some advice so that you wouldn't find yourself in the same situation, but at this point I am just relieved that my daughter, who will be 17 tomorrow is alive.

There is nothing which I dread so much as a division of the republic into two great parties, each arranged under its leader, and concerting measures in opposition to each other. This, in my humble apprehension, is to be dreaded as the greatest political evil under our Constitution.
~ John Adams, Letter to Jonathan Jackson (October 2, 1780).
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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Prayers for you and yours.
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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I am so sorry. Just so you’re reminded, as long as you love her with everything you have and in all possible ways, and I know you do, there’s nothing more you could have done. Please don’t beat yourself up. May you and your family be wrapped in peace and love right now.
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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jkca1 wrote:
I've written before that my elder daughter suffers from depression. This morning while I was in California and my wife was at work she tried to kill herself with an overdose of pills.

Fortunately she failed. Over the last few months she fooled all of us. Her doctors her parents her friends telling all of us that she was doing good when she wasn't.

After she gets out of the emergency room they're going to transfer her to an adolescent psychiatric hospital. Tomorrow is her birthday and I will be home to visit with her which itself is a blessing.

My wife asked her this afternoon when she planned on killing herself and she said last night because she knew we'd all be gone

It's been a long day. As I sit here in the Sacramento Airport I keep wondering what I could have done differently, what anybody could have done differently, but in the end I don't think there was anything we could have changed. She knew what she wanted to do, she told us the right things and in the end she almost succeeded.

I know that some of you are in similar situations. I wish I could give you some advice so that you wouldn't find yourself in the same situation, but at this point I am just relieved that my daughter, who will be 17 tomorrow is alive.

Stop beating yourself up but realize that this is potentially serious stuff. Fortunately most female suicide attempts fail and with teenage girls they often "grow out of it". She needs more professional help and should involve counselling with her parents. Never been through this but known parents who have.
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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That's awful

It's the only thing I really worry about for my kids

I know this will not make you feel better, but it's not within your gift to fix, stop, change, manage it, you can only be present and provide an environment and access to help

I'm sorry. Mental health is very difficult to manage.
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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I am so sorry to hear this. A friend lost his son last night to suicide - he was 17. My younger daughter is 17.

I swear there are just some people who are born with a propensity to do this or atleast attempt it. My hope for you and your family is that this attempt becomes the trigger or catalyst that gets her on a path to mental health stability. Maybe good will come of it and thank God her attempt failed.

Is there anything I can do for you and family?
Last edited by: JD21: Feb 8, 19 19:55
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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My heart goes out to your daughter and the rest of the family.

I remember a similar dark time when I was about 10 years older than your daughter. What pulled me through it was inpatient psychiatric treatment and properly titrated psychotropic drugs.

The good news is that I eventually pulled through it and endurance exercise has become my drug of choice to keep the demons at bay. I started with running, with my psychiatrist’s encouragement.

I wish her well; the only problem which can’t be fixed is death.

DFL > DNF > DNS
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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Very sorry to hear it. I hope she finds a way through the darkness. You’ve got a random anonymous dude in Boston sending good thoughts your way.
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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Thanks for sharing this deeply personal thread. Hopefully putting it down in writing will help you deal with a very dark time. As mentioned, thank God she failed.

I sincerely hope that his is a turning point for her. Best wishes to your family.
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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So sorry to hear that and thankful that she didn't succeed. My nephew is 17 and in a very similar place. Good luck.
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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Damn man. Words fail. Best wishes for her and the rest of your family.
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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I'm sorry, dude. I really don't have any words of wisdom other than to tell you to quit blaming yourself and to hang in there. Depression is a bitch of a disease that is really hard to understand and/or comprehend. But, you need to understand it is medical condition and you did not "give it" to her. So, you cannot beat yourself up and you have to just keep in the fight. Again, man, I am truly sorry to hear this and wish you and the family the best.

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers

Emery's Third Coast Triathlon | Tri Wisconsin Triathlon Team | Push Endurance | GLWR
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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I'm so glad that she was unsuccessful. My thoughts are with you and your family and I hope that she is able to find peace and overcome this.
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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Sad to say but I don't think you could've done anything differently to prevent the attempt. I was struck by this news story in my local paper a couple of weeks ago. This young woman killed herself despite her having, what seemed to me, to be a wonderful life. I guess though that once the "black dog" of depression gets you it's tough to shake off.
https://nypost.com/...osting-suicide-note/
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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Positive thoughts your way.
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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First, let me say how sorry I am that you’re going through this. I just can’t imagine the stress. Thankfully your daughter is still with you, and may that always be the case. Do whatever you possibly can, but also know that you are doing exactly that, and you shouldn’t shoulder any blame.

My daughter turned 16 today, so this news feels very relevant. I do so hope she pulls through this and once through these next few years finds more balance and grounding and happiness.

Have you read “What Made Maddy Run”? It could offer some insights for you.
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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I’m so sorry all of you are going through this. But I am so glad she was not successful.

My good friend’s daughter did the same thing only in middle school. It was a long road but watching her come into her own in college is one of the most rewarding things I have seen.

There was a pro triathlete I think from Colorado Springs who had a blog post about his suicide attempt and life after that really helped me at the time. I have been googling and googling to find it but have not been able to- does anyone remember this - it was probably nearly a decade ago.

I will be sending peaceful energy into the universe for you.
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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Sending you a pm.




who's smarter than you're? i'm!
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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I'm so sorry to hear your daughter and your family are in such pain.
There is nothing you could have done differently.

It struck me that you said tomorrow is her birthday. I wonder if that is related - I've heard acquaintances plan similar acts around birthdays because they feel they can't bear to be X years old and struggling from [insert a variety of mental illnesses here].

I'm glad she'll be going to a psych unit. Don't be afraid to try different treatment programs if it seems that first one is not a good fit for whatever reason.

If a "thinking of you" card from a random stranger would help, PM me your address and I'll send you one to pass along to her.

Finally, I read somewhere that people in psych wards don't get flowers at the same rates as people in the hospital for more physical illnesses. You might see, if you were to send flowers, if she could have them in her room (there will be lots and lots of rules about what she can and can't have for safety reasons), or outside the room but so she could see them, or whatnot. Same for balloons and other cheer-up sorts of things.

Thinking of you and your family.

Proud member of Fishtwitch and the ST Grammar Police
disclaimer: PhD not MD
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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Also, I can't imagine how hard it is/was for you to be in CA when you found out.

Proud member of Fishtwitch and the ST Grammar Police
disclaimer: PhD not MD
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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It's no secreet that I have gone through some rough times. Most of those in my head only. I can understand how your daughter feel sand I will tell you that there is nothing you could have done. nothing you could have said would have changed her mind. The best that you can do is be with her and continue to tell her that you love her and that she is needed.

My thoughts are with you and your family. I hope that she can find the right help and the (If you choose this route) medications to help. I was on a lot of different ones and combinations of medications before I found one that I think helps.

Best of luck.

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace." Jimi Hendrix
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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Good thoughts man.
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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Dude, sitting here next to my 2 girls - 15 and 14 - and feeling thankful, and terrified... My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family...

I'd hug you if I could, bro...
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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I'm so sorry that your family (and daughter) are dealing with this.

I hope she gets the help she needs.

Make sure you take care of yourself at the same time.
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Re: My daughter tried to kill herself this morning [jkca1] [ In reply to ]
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Thank you for sharing. I hope you keep talking about it. Mental illness troubles can really isolate people. I'm sorry.
Last edited by: Calamityjane88: Feb 8, 19 19:09
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