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61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter
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I started reading this story with one opinion, thinking why would she go through that kind of wear and tear at that age.

I also didn't know it was possible for a post-menopausal woman (which she must be?) to carry a pregnancy.

Anyway after reading the story I get it. Amazing.
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [kiki] [ In reply to ]
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They’ve never heard of adoption?

- The thrall alone takes instant vengeance; the coward never...
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [Duffy] [ In reply to ]
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It's probably safe to say this won't become a popular alternative to adoption.

If her son donated the sperm, it's kind of freaky too.
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [kiki] [ In reply to ]
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kiki wrote:
It's probably safe to say this won't become a popular alternative to adoption.

If her son donated the sperm, it's kind of freaky too.

Just seems like a lot of unnecessary risk and expense when there are littereally millions of children’s waiting to be adopted.

- The thrall alone takes instant vengeance; the coward never...
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [Duffy] [ In reply to ]
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Duffy wrote:

Just seems like a lot of unnecessary risk and expense when there are littereally millions of children’s waiting to be adopted.

I've had family and friends go through adoption process, and it is very difficult (time and emotionally) and can be very expensive. If you want a baby, the wait can be very long and then all of a sudden you get a call to pick them up. If you're willing to take an older child, they will more often than not have issues that you may not be prepared to deal with. There is also the very real risk that a family member steps up later and tries to get custody, which would be so terrible I can't even imagine.

The adoption process has so many innate difficulties, I can't imagine a process that could be put in place that would make it a simple and healthy process for all.
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [Duffy] [ In reply to ]
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Duffy wrote:
kiki wrote:
It's probably safe to say this won't become a popular alternative to adoption.

If her son donated the sperm, it's kind of freaky too.


Just seems like a lot of unnecessary risk and expense when there are littereally millions of children’s waiting to be adopted.

Why does anyone have a baby by any method? Seems like a lot of risk and expense when there are so many children waiting to be adopted.

I have friends who have had two kids via a surrogate. The babies are genetically theirs: she produced healthy eggs but couldn't carry a baby, so the babies have his sperm and her eggs, but was carried by a surrogate. Where's the problem?
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [jmcconne] [ In reply to ]
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I’m adopted as is my brother and sister.

My son is also adopted.

I’m well aware of what it entails.

- The thrall alone takes instant vengeance; the coward never...
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [Kay Serrar] [ In reply to ]
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Kay Serrar wrote:
Duffy wrote:
kiki wrote:
It's probably safe to say this won't become a popular alternative to adoption.

If her son donated the sperm, it's kind of freaky too.


Just seems like a lot of unnecessary risk and expense when there are littereally millions of children’s waiting to be adopted.

Why does anyone have a baby by any method? Seems like a lot of risk and expense when there are so many children waiting to be adopted.

I have friends who have had two kids via a surrogate. The babies are genetically theirs: she produced healthy eggs but couldn't carry a baby, so the babies have his sperm and her eggs, but was carried by a surrogate. Where's the problem?

Ok.

I guess some kind of genetic attachment is important to people. I don’t get it, but whatever....

- The thrall alone takes instant vengeance; the coward never...
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [Duffy] [ In reply to ]
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Duffy wrote:
Kay Serrar wrote:
Duffy wrote:
kiki wrote:
It's probably safe to say this won't become a popular alternative to adoption.

If her son donated the sperm, it's kind of freaky too.


Just seems like a lot of unnecessary risk and expense when there are littereally millions of children’s waiting to be adopted.


Why does anyone have a baby by any method? Seems like a lot of risk and expense when there are so many children waiting to be adopted.

I have friends who have had two kids via a surrogate. The babies are genetically theirs: she produced healthy eggs but couldn't carry a baby, so the babies have his sperm and her eggs, but was carried by a surrogate. Where's the problem?


Ok.

I guess some kind of genetic attachment is important to people. I don’t get it, but whatever....

I think it's innate within most animals.
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [Kay Serrar] [ In reply to ]
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Kay Serrar wrote:
Duffy wrote:
Kay Serrar wrote:
Duffy wrote:
kiki wrote:
It's probably safe to say this won't become a popular alternative to adoption.

If her son donated the sperm, it's kind of freaky too.


Just seems like a lot of unnecessary risk and expense when there are littereally millions of children’s waiting to be adopted.


Why does anyone have a baby by any method? Seems like a lot of risk and expense when there are so many children waiting to be adopted.

I have friends who have had two kids via a surrogate. The babies are genetically theirs: she produced healthy eggs but couldn't carry a baby, so the babies have his sperm and her eggs, but was carried by a surrogate. Where's the problem?


Ok.

I guess some kind of genetic attachment is important to people. I don’t get it, but whatever....

I think it's innate within most animals.

I’m not most animals.

- The thrall alone takes instant vengeance; the coward never...
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [Duffy] [ In reply to ]
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Duffy wrote:
Kay Serrar wrote:
Duffy wrote:
Kay Serrar wrote:
Duffy wrote:
kiki wrote:
It's probably safe to say this won't become a popular alternative to adoption.

If her son donated the sperm, it's kind of freaky too.


Just seems like a lot of unnecessary risk and expense when there are littereally millions of children’s waiting to be adopted.


Why does anyone have a baby by any method? Seems like a lot of risk and expense when there are so many children waiting to be adopted.

I have friends who have had two kids via a surrogate. The babies are genetically theirs: she produced healthy eggs but couldn't carry a baby, so the babies have his sperm and her eggs, but was carried by a surrogate. Where's the problem?


Ok.

I guess some kind of genetic attachment is important to people. I don’t get it, but whatever....


I think it's innate within most animals.


I’m not most animals.

Stay in your lane brah
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [Kay Serrar] [ In reply to ]
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Kay Serrar wrote:
Duffy wrote:
Kay Serrar wrote:
Duffy wrote:
Kay Serrar wrote:
Duffy wrote:
kiki wrote:
It's probably safe to say this won't become a popular alternative to adoption.

If her son donated the sperm, it's kind of freaky too.


Just seems like a lot of unnecessary risk and expense when there are littereally millions of children’s waiting to be adopted.


Why does anyone have a baby by any method? Seems like a lot of risk and expense when there are so many children waiting to be adopted.

I have friends who have had two kids via a surrogate. The babies are genetically theirs: she produced healthy eggs but couldn't carry a baby, so the babies have his sperm and her eggs, but was carried by a surrogate. Where's the problem?


Ok.

I guess some kind of genetic attachment is important to people. I don’t get it, but whatever....


I think it's innate within most animals.


I’m not most animals.


Stay in your lane brah

Genetic attachment IS innate, but it is vastly overblown, IMHO. My wife and I wasted close to $60k using IVF. Technically, we were 3 for 3, but never kept a fetus longer than 10 weeks. We finally decided to adopt, and got our beautiful daughter a little over 7 years ago. As soon as I got to hold her, I learned what I wish I'd known $90k earlier . . . . that kid was/is MINE; fuck the genetic attachment. If I'd realized earlier on what a trivial aspect the genetic link would be, I might've saved a cool $60k. In any event, it was an expensive lesson, but one worth learning.

''The enemy isn't conservatism. The enemy isn't liberalism. The enemy is bulls**t.''

—Lars-Erik Nelson
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [Danno] [ In reply to ]
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Congrats - that's awesome!
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [kiki] [ In reply to ]
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kiki wrote:
It's probably safe to say this won't become a popular alternative to adoption.

If her son donated the sperm, it's kind of freaky too.

He did.

Pink? Maybe. Maybe not. You decide.
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [Danno] [ In reply to ]
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I have met both of my biological parents.

I have zero attachment to them.

The bond I have with my own son (who is adopted) is like nothing else in this world.

- The thrall alone takes instant vengeance; the coward never...
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [Danno] [ In reply to ]
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What I have seen among some friends and patients is the kid really wants to find out/get to meet the biological parents. They sometimes describe being incomplete etc. I have never encountered parents that feel that way. Certainly not a reason to not adopt. One wonders if this will or will not be an issue in the future with adoption processes being more open these days.

Perhaps the real revolutionaries are those that keep their promises.
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [Duffy] [ In reply to ]
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Duffy wrote:
kiki wrote:
It's probably safe to say this won't become a popular alternative to adoption.

If her son donated the sperm, it's kind of freaky too.

Just seems like a lot of unnecessary risk and expense when there are littereally millions of children’s waiting to be adopted.

Kind of like adopting from a foreign country when there are tons of perfectly available American kids?

===============
#ITMFA
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [CaptainCanada] [ In reply to ]
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CaptainCanada wrote:
Duffy wrote:
kiki wrote:
It's probably safe to say this won't become a popular alternative to adoption.

If her son donated the sperm, it's kind of freaky too.

Just seems like a lot of unnecessary risk and expense when there are littereally millions of children’s waiting to be adopted.

Kind of like adopting from a foreign country when there are tons of perfectly available American kids?

We did both. The American kid was taken from us because mom wanted her back.

She’s dead now, btw. Mom and daughter.

- The thrall alone takes instant vengeance; the coward never...
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [Duffy] [ In reply to ]
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Duffy wrote:
I have met both of my biological parents.

I have zero attachment to them.

The bond I have with my own son (who is adopted) is like nothing else in this world.

I am not adopted, so I can't speak to that birth parent link when a person doesn't grow up with their birth parents. I know exactly what you mean with respect to the relationship with you child. He's blessed to have you.

''The enemy isn't conservatism. The enemy isn't liberalism. The enemy is bulls**t.''

—Lars-Erik Nelson
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [len] [ In reply to ]
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len wrote:
What I have seen among some friends and patients is the kid really wants to find out/get to meet the biological parents. They sometimes describe being incomplete etc. I have never encountered parents that feel that way. Certainly not a reason to not adopt. One wonders if this will or will not be an issue in the future with adoption processes being more open these days.

Our agency (the Gladney Agency in Ft. Worth, Texas) encourages open adoptions for those who wish to adopt domestically. They don't require it, but they are frank with potential adoptive parents that the wait typically drops dramatically the more open you're willing to be. My wife and I had to talk about that a lot. Neither of us was keen on having a full-on relationship with a potential birth mother, but we also did not want to wait forever, and we were sensitive to some of the "wanting to know" issues we might encounter with a completely closed adoption.

We ended up with a fairly open adoption. Our birth mother calls on our daughter's birthday, and we provided her with lots of pictures over the last 7 years, usually in one big batch around Christmas time. A couple of years ago, she visited some family in our area and we all had lunch with her and some of her family. Long and short of it is that my daughter knows who her birth mother is and will be able to have whatever relationship she chooses when she's mature enough and capable of making that decision. So far, she does not seem too worried about knowing more about her birth mother. A lot of it is how you frame your answers to questions about them.

All-in-all, we have had a wonderful experience with adoption, and my daughter very much resembles my wife, so unless she (my daughter) wants to tell other people she's adopted, most don't even consider the possibility.

''The enemy isn't conservatism. The enemy isn't liberalism. The enemy is bulls**t.''

—Lars-Erik Nelson
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [Danno] [ In reply to ]
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Danno wrote:
Duffy wrote:
I have met both of my biological parents.

I have zero attachment to them.

The bond I have with my own son (who is adopted) is like nothing else in this world.

I am not adopted, so I can't speak to that birth parent link when a person doesn't grow up with their birth parents. I know exactly what you mean with respect to the relationship with you child. He's blessed to have you.

I’m a very lucky man.

- The thrall alone takes instant vengeance; the coward never...
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [Danno] [ In reply to ]
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Danno wrote:
Duffy wrote:
I have met both of my biological parents.

I have zero attachment to them.

The bond I have with my own son (who is adopted) is like nothing else in this world.

I am not adopted, so I can't speak to that birth parent link when a person doesn't grow up with their birth parents. I know exactly what you mean with respect to the relationship with you child. He's blessed to have you.

While I have no experience with adoption, I will say that when my daughter was born... I felt absolutely zero innate paternal instinct or bond towards her.

She is 19 months now, and our relationship is amazing and the love I have for her his beyond words. But man, those first 4-6 months, I won't lie... Those were emotionally very difficult for me as I slowly tripped and fumbled my way in to the role of parent.

Whenever I hear people say things like "as soon as I saw my child, I felt this instant connection" I just cannot relate at all to that feeling.

Needless to say that little bit of conversation doesn't always go over well at dinner parties as most people don't seem to understand where I'm coming from but, fuck it, it was the truth for me.

My daughter has been napping on me for an hour as I type this. It's hard to believe the bond we have grown since those early days.
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [BCtriguy1] [ In reply to ]
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If it makes you feel better - forget no bond- when they first showed me my daughter (who I had not known would be a girl til that point) I took one look at her and puked in a bucket.

(Granted I had been in labor for 22 hours, had an emergency C-section with a reaction to anesthesia leading up to it- so I wasn’t exactly at my best).

The bond has formed since the bucket incident.
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [Moonrocket] [ In reply to ]
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Well, I didn't puke in a bucket but we had a planned C-section (she was breach) so it took all of 20 minutes from show time until I was holding her thinking "ok... Now what do I do?".

I'm glad things picked up for you since the bucket incident. You can really only go up from there!
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Re: 61 year old gives birth to her own granddaughter [Duffy] [ In reply to ]
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Duffy wrote:
CaptainCanada wrote:
Duffy wrote:
kiki wrote:
It's probably safe to say this won't become a popular alternative to adoption.

If her son donated the sperm, it's kind of freaky too.

Just seems like a lot of unnecessary risk and expense when there are littereally millions of children’s waiting to be adopted.

Kind of like adopting from a foreign country when there are tons of perfectly available American kids?

We did both. The American kid was taken from us because mom wanted her back.

She’s dead now, btw. Mom and daughter.

Wow. That's horrible. I'm so sorry to hear that.
If you legally adopt a kid, and they are now yours, how can they be taken away like that? Isn't that kind of the difference between adopting and fostering?
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