Dr. Tigerchik wrote:
what do you call a cow on a trampoline? a milkshake
How amoozingđ
Maurice
Lavender Room
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Re: Have you ever thought to yourself that we need a Dad Joke thread? [Dr. Tigerchik]
[ In reply to ]
a milkshake
How amoozingđ
Maurice
Re: Have you ever thought to yourself that we need a Dad Joke thread? [JasoninHalifax]
[ In reply to ]
Re: Have you ever thought to yourself that we need a Dad Joke thread? [mauricemaher]
[ In reply to ]
mauricemaher wrote:
Why canât trump go to the White House? Because itâs for-Biden.
Maurice
Why is the White House a very polite place to be these days?
Because lots of people saying, "Pardon me".
Re: Have you ever thought to yourself that we need a Dad Joke thread? [mauricemaher]
[ In reply to ]
Comments are turned off.
---
Dammit.
Although, it was probably something I said to turn them off.
Take a short break from ST and read my blog:
http://tri-banter.blogspot.com/
---
Dammit.
Although, it was probably something I said to turn them off.
Take a short break from ST and read my blog:
http://tri-banter.blogspot.com/
Re: Have you ever thought to yourself that we need a Dad Joke thread? [JasoninHalifax]
[ In reply to ]
What do you get when you have an earthquake and a forest fire at the same time?
Shake and Bake!
Civilize the mind, but make savage the body.
- Chinese proverb
Shake and Bake!
Civilize the mind, but make savage the body.
- Chinese proverb
Re: Have you ever thought to yourself that we need a Dad Joke thread? [Duffy]
[ In reply to ]
Civilize the mind, but make savage the body.
- Chinese proverb
Re: Have you ever thought to yourself that we need a Dad Joke thread? [Duffy]
[ In reply to ]
Family of 3 kids two boys a and a daughter
Youngest Son: dad whatâs the difference between potentially and probably
Dad: ask your mom and your siblings if they would have sex with Leonardo de caprio for 1M$
YS :OK
YS asks mom: would you have sex with LdC for 1M$ $
Mom; I love your father, but 1M is a lot Of money, we coil travel the world for Two years , so yes
YS Asks older sister : world you have sex with LdC for 1M?
Older sister: LdC?!?? Iâd do it for 100$
YS asks older brother; would you have sex with LdC for 1M$?
Older brother: hell, 1M $ is A lot Of money. I could do whatever I want after that !
Dad: did you asks your siblings and mother
YS: yes
Dad: did you learn anything about the difference between probably and potentially?
YS: yes: we are potentially sitting on 3M$, but we are probably living with two prostituts and a gay guy
Youngest Son: dad whatâs the difference between potentially and probably
Dad: ask your mom and your siblings if they would have sex with Leonardo de caprio for 1M$
YS :OK
YS asks mom: would you have sex with LdC for 1M$ $
Mom; I love your father, but 1M is a lot Of money, we coil travel the world for Two years , so yes
YS Asks older sister : world you have sex with LdC for 1M?
Older sister: LdC?!?? Iâd do it for 100$
YS asks older brother; would you have sex with LdC for 1M$?
Older brother: hell, 1M $ is A lot Of money. I could do whatever I want after that !
Dad: did you asks your siblings and mother
YS: yes
Dad: did you learn anything about the difference between probably and potentially?
YS: yes: we are potentially sitting on 3M$, but we are probably living with two prostituts and a gay guy
Re: Have you ever thought to yourself that we need a Dad Joke thread? [JasoninHalifax]
[ In reply to ]
If you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns, always go for the juggler.
Re: Have you ever thought to yourself that we need a Dad Joke thread? [zed707]
[ In reply to ]
Where did Napoleon keep his armies?
In his sleevies.
In his sleevies.
Re: Have you ever thought to yourself that we need a Dad Joke thread? [JasoninHalifax]
[ In reply to ]
In Hawaii, it is illegal to laugh out loud.
You are only allowed a lo ha!
Anne Barnes
ABBikefit, Ltd
FIST/SICI/FIST DOWN DEEP
X/Y Coordinator
abbikefit@gmail.com
You are only allowed a lo ha!
Anne Barnes
ABBikefit, Ltd
FIST/SICI/FIST DOWN DEEP
X/Y Coordinator
abbikefit@gmail.com
Re: Have you ever thought to yourself that we need a Dad Joke thread? [tri_kid]
[ In reply to ]
tri_kid wrote:
How does a Jewish man make his coffee? He-brews it!
Fav joke to tell at work when someone is making coffee and its a safe Jew joke!
How did the Egyptians see in the dark?
They turned on the Israelites
They constantly try to escape from the darkness outside and within
Dreaming of systems so perfect that no one will need to be good T.S. Eliot
Re: Have you ever thought to yourself that we need a Dad Joke thread? [ABarnes]
[ In reply to ]
Crossposted from the Steelers/Ravens thread because probably belonged here in the first place.
At dinner tonight I honored Justin Tucker:
Me: hey M, you want to try some updoc with your noodles?
Son: whatâs updoc?
Me:
Son:
Wife:rolls eyes
Son: whatâs wrong you?
Wife: itâs a fair question.
*for those that arenât nfl fans, Ravens kicker Justin tucker pulled out the updoc joke on reporters at a press conference a couple of years ago.
At dinner tonight I honored Justin Tucker:
Me: hey M, you want to try some updoc with your noodles?
Son: whatâs updoc?
Me:
Son:
Wife:rolls eyes
Son: whatâs wrong you?
Wife: itâs a fair question.
*for those that arenât nfl fans, Ravens kicker Justin tucker pulled out the updoc joke on reporters at a press conference a couple of years ago.
Re: Have you ever thought to yourself that we need a Dad Joke thread? [JasoninHalifax]
[ In reply to ]
Why did the mushroom get invited to all the parties
He is a fungi
I used to work for Nike but it had to quit
I just couldn't do it anymore.
Knock, knock
Who is there
Cantalope.
Cantalope who
Cantalope tonight I forgot the ladder.
Where do bees go to the bathroom
The BP station. (Do they have that in America?)
They constantly try to escape from the darkness outside and within
Dreaming of systems so perfect that no one will need to be good T.S. Eliot
He is a fungi
I used to work for Nike but it had to quit
I just couldn't do it anymore.
Knock, knock
Who is there
Cantalope.
Cantalope who
Cantalope tonight I forgot the ladder.
Where do bees go to the bathroom
The BP station. (Do they have that in America?)
They constantly try to escape from the darkness outside and within
Dreaming of systems so perfect that no one will need to be good T.S. Eliot
Re: Have you ever thought to yourself that we need a Dad Joke thread? [spockwaslen]
[ In reply to ]
Guess where I keep all my dad jokes?
In a dad-a-base.
Civilize the mind, but make savage the body.
- Chinese proverb
In a dad-a-base.
Civilize the mind, but make savage the body.
- Chinese proverb
Re: Have you ever thought to yourself that we need a Dad Joke thread? [Duffy]
[ In reply to ]
I started a band called 999 megabytes.
We still havenât gotten a gig.
We still havenât gotten a gig.
Re: Have you ever thought to yourself that we need a Dad Joke thread? [wimsey]
[ In reply to ]
wimsey wrote:
Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies.
Where are the Andes?
.
.
.
At the ends of your armies.
:-)
Re: Have you ever thought to yourself that we need a Dad Joke thread? [JasoninHalifax]
[ In reply to ]
q: what's a shark's favorite appetizer?
a: charcuterie
maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD
a: charcuterie
maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD
Re: Have you ever thought to yourself that we need a Dad Joke thread? [JasoninHalifax]
[ In reply to ]
https://www.theguardian.com/...ker-joke-of-the-year
The top 10 cracker jokes
1. What is Dominic Cummingsâ favourite Christmas song? Driving Home for Christmas.
2. Did you hear that production was down at Santaâs workshop? Many of his workers have had to Elf isolate!
3. Why didnât Mary and Joseph make it to Bethlehem? All Virgin flights were cancelled.
4. Why are Santaâs reindeer allowed to travel on Christmas Eve? They have herd immunity.
5. Why did the pirates have to go into lockdown? Because the âArrrr!â rate had risen.
6. Why is it best to think of 2020 like a panto? Because eventually, itâs behind you.
7. Why couldnât Mary and Joseph join their work conference call? Because there was no Zoom at the inn.
8. Why canât Boris Johnson make his Christmas cake until the last minute? He doesnât know how many tiers it should have.
9. What do the Trumps do for Christmas dinner? They put on a super spread.
10. Which Christmas film was 30 years ahead of its time? Home Alone.
The top 10 cracker jokes
1. What is Dominic Cummingsâ favourite Christmas song? Driving Home for Christmas.
2. Did you hear that production was down at Santaâs workshop? Many of his workers have had to Elf isolate!
3. Why didnât Mary and Joseph make it to Bethlehem? All Virgin flights were cancelled.
4. Why are Santaâs reindeer allowed to travel on Christmas Eve? They have herd immunity.
5. Why did the pirates have to go into lockdown? Because the âArrrr!â rate had risen.
6. Why is it best to think of 2020 like a panto? Because eventually, itâs behind you.
7. Why couldnât Mary and Joseph join their work conference call? Because there was no Zoom at the inn.
8. Why canât Boris Johnson make his Christmas cake until the last minute? He doesnât know how many tiers it should have.
9. What do the Trumps do for Christmas dinner? They put on a super spread.
10. Which Christmas film was 30 years ahead of its time? Home Alone.
Re: Have you ever thought to yourself that we need a Dad Joke thread? [doug_steel]
[ In reply to ]
What do you call a guy leaning on a shovel?
Doug.
What do you call a guy who is not leaning on a shovel?
Douglas.
Doug.
What do you call a guy who is not leaning on a shovel?
Douglas.