Of course there is:

Ex wife hated it.

New girlfriend and I like the pop in. We tell everyone we have an open door policy.

If they were happy being there before you got home, they’ll be okay if you get home and still don’t sit and make small talk.

If I get home from school and my wife has a friend over, I’ll say hi, ask how they’re doing if it’s a friend I enjoy being around, and then carry on with my plans, be it homework or errands etc.

None of her friends, or my wife for that matter, have complained about it 🤷🏼‍♂️

Become a nudist in your home.

: ) lol https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hv0M4mnrE8

Hugely dependent on who is popping in. But generally I regard it as poor form. In a narrow way, I suppose I admire the chutzpah involved in thinking "Of COURSE they want to see me," but mostly no, this is not acceptable. Unless (as the gent above mentioned) you know that pop-ins are well-received.

#swingers

Real people are worthy of your time. You are clearly thoughtful. Getting to know people face to face should bring you more joy than this silly forum.

I love a pop in.

Your carpet will clean up. It’s meant to be walked on.

A new baby is a time of joy. Share that joy! Raising a child in isolation is unhealthy for the child. They need to see real smiling faces. They need human interaction. Be glad somebody cares enough to come and see you.

I'm not a fan of the pop-in. In-laws do it periodically. If I happen to see them pull in the driveway, I make a beeline to the basement and work on my bike until they leave.

If I get caught in the kitchen when they come over I'll make small talk. The key is to not ask any questions which shortens their time over.

It's also one of the worst RSV and flu seasons in a long time.

The baby gets plenty of visitors but people that arrange it so as to not be inconvenient

Gotta side with Windy on this one.

I ask myself this question on this topic: if you were to unannounced "pop in" on a person you recently started dating at their home, their business, or if you were calling/texting them nonstop and you think they'd probably dump you because of it.............then it isn't OK for a family member to do either. A person you recently started dating would find it rude, and probably creepy. Maybe creepy enough to dump you and get a restraining order.

We've a neighbor like this. No call, no text. I'm cooking dinner and the wife is with the kid's homework. GTFO.

I boil it down to people who are thinking about themselves in the moment and not the other person. If I'm thinking about the other person instead of myself, I'd ask. It takes 2 seconds to send a text.

I'm honestly not sure that it has ever happened to me. We don't have kids and don't live in the same town as most of our families so it doesn't really come up.

The only people that may are my wife's brother and my brother, and for both of those we would turn the dogs loose on them if they set foot on our property. So now that I think about it, it may be fun.

---

I'm beginning to think that we are much more fucked than I thought.

...and Lord knows I do stuff that annoys her.[/quote]

I think everyone here can understand... :)

My Father in Law used to do it all the time. He'd do it ad odd hours on no notice and wonder why no one was there.

Uhmm, because we were at work?

One time he then went to my wife's work which was just around the corner and interrupted the staff meeting she was leading so he could tell her something that I'm sure to him was seemingly important at the time to him but was completely and utterly inconsequential. After she chewed him out for that he stopped doing it so much.

Jesus Christ! Get a Ring doorbell or don't answer the door. Or grow a pair and tell them you're busy.

---

clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com

are the pop ins in-laws?

Drives me crazy and it's rarely the people you would actually be OK with popping in.

Our situation is that our kiddo is 8 years old and most of our very good friends (who we would be fairly OK popping in) have kids within the same range and are equally, if not more, occupied as us so we're all too busy and most weekends are booked up with something. Anyone who would potentially pop in on us would have learned long ago that we are usually not there and if we are than we value our family/chill time at home very highly. It really helps that the bulk of our friends have the same outlook/situation as us.

I bet you find the same experience as your kiddo gets older. Friends will essentially age up (life stage-wise) naturally with you and those who don't will find better locations to pop into.

...but if, like you, we had a new baby I would be a complete asshole about random pop ins. I'm willing to bet the ones who do that have not gone through the experience of being a new parent.

Before cell phones, popping in was standard practice. Sure, you could call on a land line, but if the phone was busy, you might not get through. And if you just happened to be in the neighborhood, you probably wouldn't have access to a phone. Because it's so much easier now to call in advance, we've become accustomed to advance notice.

For me, it depends on who it is. If you're a neighbor who's also a good friend, I don't expect a call. Seems odd to call when you live a few houses away. This was the case when I was first out of law school. We lived in an apartment on the same street as my best friend from college. And while we had cell phones then, we pretty much popped in at each other's place whenever. The neighbor/friend thing works because there's also no expectation that I have to entertain anyone when they stop by. If I'm busy, they can just walk back to their house. But if it's someone who's come a little more out of their way, I feel some obligation to host rather than turn them away.

As a former Mormon, I get occasional visits (once or twice a year) from church members who are probably trying to fellowship me back into God's good graces. These people are generally acquaintances that I had gotten along with years ago. They never call in advance, perhaps because they know I won't schedule anything with them if that's their purpose. I'm polite when they stop by, but they never make it inside. It doesn't bother me, but it probably would if it were more often.

All it takes is one or two times to let her know that that kind of behavior will not be rewarded with your good behavior. Pop open a beer, unbutton your shirt, sit on the couch with a hand between the cushions (like Al Bundy), turn on the game, belch and fart....

I won't win any arguments with my wife. Logic or at least what I think is logic doesn't work. But turning myself into an embarrassment does. And as you've seen from my posts here, I have little shame.

They're not her parents.

They hate the pop in more than me

If we are not expecting someone/something we simply don’t answer the door. //

I had a Publishers Clearinghouse joke running around in my head when I read this, but that would be devastating, so will refrain...


I have more often than not, been the popper in. I used to just go over to my 95 year old neighbors house all the time, never called first. Caught him in all sorts of moods, positions, and states of undress. But he never seemed to mind, I might be the only one to pop in for the month, or two..


But I get that for the rest of us it can be annoying, I'm no different than most of you here..

User name checks out.

We don’t really get pop ins. Only one I remember with clarity was a few months ago on a Saturday morning the doorbell goes off unexpectedly and it’s my MIL. My son goes to let her In And my wife and I both exchange WTF is she doing here glances.

We chit chat for a few minutes and she asks if we’re ready to go. Go? Go where? Brunch of course. Oh, uh, well, that’s actually tomorrow. She was 24 hours early. We offered to take her the lunch that day since she had already drove Into the city, but I think she was embarrassed and just went home.

That is a pop in I would have no problem with

Yeah, an accidental pop in. Totally ok. Just kind of funny.

Sigh