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Re: Engagement rings - did you go for quality or size [Andrewmc] [ In reply to ]
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Didn't bother.

We also only had a registry office wedding on the cheap. Still married 15 years later.

Friends who felt the need to play along with massive rings, expensive weedings and all that crap now divorced... Unless you have tons of money then there are an awful lot more important things you'll need to spend money on over the upcoming years of marriage, parenthood and adult life....
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Re: Engagement rings - did you go for quality or size [Andrewmc] [ In reply to ]
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I don't understand the question.

I went for the best I could get for under $500. And by best, I mean whatever they showed me that would get me in and out in less than 30 minutes.

While I thought I was being practical, my wife decided to upgrade on our ten-year anniversary. Even factoring in inflation, that was a hell of a lot more expensive than had I just spent a little more early on. I received a very good bonus that year and made the mistake of telling her how much it was.
Last edited by: AlanShearer: May 5, 19 18:16
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Re: Engagement rings - did you go for quality or size [Andrewmc] [ In reply to ]
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3/4 of high quality clarity and cut.

14 years later, the divorce lawyers were about 8 times the cost of that ring between the two of us.

Buy what you think you can afford. I think many people go overboard. The ring is a symbol. That’s all. It won’t end arguments or make your relationship “better” in any way.
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Re: Engagement rings - did you go for quality or size [Andrewmc] [ In reply to ]
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Since you're asking after the fact, it's rather irrelevant. but I sincerely wish you the best!

In my case, I was on a limited budget, and didn't want my girlfriend (now wife) to be involved in the decision/purchase. I felt it was important to know what she wanted without help (spoiler alert: I fucking rocked it). She didn't make it a secret that she wanted a sapphire instead of a diamond, but i did get the size right on the first go.

I was in grad school, on a limited budget, but found a nice, reasonably sized sapphire for the main stone, with small (accent) diamonds along the band (I thought there should be diamond on the engagement ring, even if it wasn't the focal point). It was a stretch, but I could swing it, and she loved it. and still does. and she still gets compliments on it. it's not 'big', but people seem to be impressed.

BUT, most importantly, she likes it. she still likes jewerly, and has her asks, but as far as i know she has no intentions of replacing the ring. so i have that going for me. which is nice.

so, to anyone reading who has not yet bought a ring...don't get caught up in the bullshit with prices, carot size, quality, etc... buy something that she will love, and don't kill yourself paying for it. if it takes a certain ring to make it work, save your time and money (and heart)



mckenzie
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Re: Engagement rings - did you go for quality or size [Andrewmc] [ In reply to ]
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As luck would have it, the "one month salary" rule (I took it to be net of tax...) at the time we got married was almost exactly the budget needed to get a high quality 1 carat diamond. I figured 1 carat was plenty (and a lot better than 0.99....) so went with high quality instead of going bigger. Got a 1.01 carat emerald cut, think it was D and internally flawless, proposed with it set in a cheap temporary silver band, and then we both went to the jewelers and designed the ring together around the diamond. Ended up with a platinum band and a pair of smaller sapphires flanking the diamond, but the incremental cost was a small fraction of the diamond cost. Jeweller did actually say i could exchange the diamond at no cost if she wanted a different cut, but I managed to get that bit right!

I think if my budget only stretched to a small (<0.5 carat) high quality diamond I might have gone for a bigger one of lower quality. But would probably also consider whether we really needed to buy into all the marketing BS at all and whether it wouldn't be better to get a synthetic one which is chemically and visually (to anybody but a jeweller anyway) identical at a fraction of the price. I'm fully aware that the whole diamond thing is basically a scam, but since it was a scam that I could afford to buy into and that made my wife (and her friends, sister, mum, etc) happy I went along with it. Have no intention of ever again spending money on a single stone of any significant size! Synthetic and small cuts from here on in...
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Re: Engagement rings - did you go for quality or size [cartsman] [ In reply to ]
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I think other peoples big diamonds are beautiful but it's not something I want. I had a college professor whose husband replaced the diamond in her wedding ring with a bigger stone every year. After a while it's enough already. She was this petite lady with this huge ring.
My setting makes the ring sparkly but the diamond is not huge. After 22 years it's been a perfect fit.
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Re: Engagement rings - did you go for quality or size [cartsman] [ In reply to ]
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My problem, it turns out, was not the ring, but the fact that the jeweler concerned makes all sorts of other items in a similar design......... Bracelets, necklaces and so on......... So having solved one problem I unintentionally created another
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Re: Engagement rings - did you go for quality or size [Andrewmc] [ In reply to ]
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My wife didn't get me anything when she proposed.

We got married in a court room.

I lost my titanium band 1 month after our wedding.

Ring-free for 18 years and still married
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Re: Engagement rings - did you go for quality or size [cartsman] [ In reply to ]
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Reminds me of the office episode where Michael proposes with this massive ring that draws gasps from the women in the office, and he replies with something like "well, you know, 3 years salary is the rule of thumb, right?"

Long Chile was a silly place.
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Re: Engagement rings - did you go for quality or size [BCtriguy1] [ In reply to ]
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Sounds about right! The whole one month salary thing was basically created by a De Beers advertising campaign apparently, that's got to be one of the best marketing ideas ever.

A friend proposed a few years ago, his (now) wife is a very picky lady who knows exactly what she wants, he figured he had almost no chance of choosing the right ring, but he didn't want to propose empty handed. So he bought a cheap ring to propose with, planning to then take her to the jewellers to choose her own ring. Gets down on one knee, pops the question, and her first words are "That's not a real diamond!". Amazingly they're still going strong nearly 10 years later...
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Re: Engagement rings - did you go for quality or size [Andrewmc] [ In reply to ]
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Always go quality (and estate if possible).

We had a saying in the photo world...

...if you can’t make it good, make it big.

Civilize the mind, but make savage the body.

- Chinese proverb
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Re: Engagement rings - did you go for quality or size [cartsman] [ In reply to ]
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cartsman wrote:
Sounds about right! The whole one month salary thing was basically created by a De Beers advertising campaign apparently, that's got to be one of the best marketing ideas ever.

A friend proposed a few years ago, his (now) wife is a very picky lady who knows exactly what she wants, he figured he had almost no chance of choosing the right ring, but he didn't want to propose empty handed. So he bought a cheap ring to propose with, planning to then take her to the jewellers to choose her own ring. Gets down on one knee, pops the question, and her first words are "That's not a real diamond!". Amazingly they're still going strong nearly 10 years later...

Not that I would be in a relationship with a person like this but if somehow I was and didn't realize it...

That would be the end.

Thanks, give me the ring back... we're done here.

How does Danny Hart sit down with balls that big?
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Re: Engagement rings - did you go for quality or size [Andrewmc] [ In reply to ]
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Kinda both, but my wife’s family has a family Jeweler that they have always used so when we were out there one weekend my wife picked out what she wanted and we got it. We were able to get a lot better because of the discount we got. I think the size would have been what she gave up if she had to.

Edited to add: it also matters how big of one you get, the bigger of a diamond the better quality it needs to be. If you’re going with less than a half or even a carot depending on what the issue is you probably can’t see it. Once you stay getting to 2 flaws become more obvious.
Last edited by: Grant.Reuter: May 6, 19 8:05
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Re: Engagement rings - did you go for quality or size [Andrewmc] [ In reply to ]
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I think it is going to depend on who is wearing it. Some want a great big diamond, some want quality. My wife just said she want's it to be "sparkly". I went with a smaller main stone, and then small diamonds down each side of the band. Lots of sparkle. She is happy so I am happy.
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Re: Engagement rings - did you go for quality or size [Grant.Reuter] [ In reply to ]
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Grant.Reuter wrote:
Kinda both, but my wife’s family has a family Jeweler that they have always used so when we were out there one weekend my wife picked out what she wanted and we got it. We were able to get a lot better because of the discount we got. I think the size would have been what she gave up if she had to.

Edited to add: it also matters how big of one you get, the bigger of a diamond the better quality it needs to be. If you’re going with less than a half or even a carot depending on what the issue is you probably can’t see it. Once you stay getting to 2 flaws become more obvious.

She said she'd already done that once so she was used to it.

I'm beginning to think that we are much more fucked than I thought.
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Re: Engagement rings - did you go for quality or size [j p o] [ In reply to ]
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Bam strong work on that one haha!
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Re: Engagement rings - did you go for quality or size [Andrewmc] [ In reply to ]
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Quality.

We could have gotten a much larger stone if we would have accepted flaws and color problems. The one we decided on was nearly flawless and would have been out of our price range if we hadn't found a very good and reasonable company. The same stone at another jeweller would have been more than twice as expensive (we checked).
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