Take care of yourself. Best wishes!
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Re: Suicide [Nova]
[ In reply to ]
Re: Suicide [Nova]
[ In reply to ]
I am glad you are currently ok. If you find yourself regressing back into those feelings, please reach out.
Come back when you feel you are ready, you are appreciated here.
who's smarter than you're? i'm!
Come back when you feel you are ready, you are appreciated here.
who's smarter than you're? i'm!
Re: Suicide [Nova]
[ In reply to ]
Hope you are getting help.
Responders here so kind; leaves me thankful.
Responders here so kind; leaves me thankful.
Re: Suicide [veganerd]
[ In reply to ]
veganerd wrote:
The insidiousness of suicidal ideation is that you feel that no one would care or that they would somehow feel better off. This is simply not the case. It was exactly the thought process of my daughters mother. Unfortunately the wake of her suicide was more of a tsunami that led to our daughter being hospitalized a few times, left me with ptsd, and tens of thousands of dollars in hospital and therapy bills. And that covers just 2 people. Her family was similarly devastated. Her younger brothers have not been the same since.
I'm here for you any time you want to talk about it.
I’m so sorry you went through this. I was at a funeral this morning for a friend’s wife who succumbed to her depression. Do you have any words of wisdom for us to be there for our co-worker/ friend as he has to travel this terrible path missing his very loved wife? I am very worried about him. His life changed for the better when they met.
Re: Suicide [Moonrocket]
[ In reply to ]
Moonrocket wrote:
veganerd wrote:
The insidiousness of suicidal ideation is that you feel that no one would care or that they would somehow feel better off. This is simply not the case. It was exactly the thought process of my daughters mother. Unfortunately the wake of her suicide was more of a tsunami that led to our daughter being hospitalized a few times, left me with ptsd, and tens of thousands of dollars in hospital and therapy bills. And that covers just 2 people. Her family was similarly devastated. Her younger brothers have not been the same since.
I'm here for you any time you want to talk about it.
I’m so sorry you went through this. I was at a funeral this morning for a friend’s wife who succumbed to her depression. Do you have any words of wisdom for us to be there for our co-worker/ friend as he has to travel this terrible path missing his very loved wife? I am very worried about him. His life changed for the better when they met.
Just be a good friend. Don’t be afraid to reach out and don’t be offended if he doesn’t want to talk. More importantly, after a funeral people are really great at checking in for a few days, maybe a week. Be better than that. Check in more often. Invite him out to dinner or over to your house. If he doesn’t want to go out, bring him a couple premode meals that he can just throw in the oven. Make it really easy because some days he may sit around and do nothing. I can remember going days without eating because i had no appetite but mostly lacked the energy to make anything. It all seemed daunting.
Ask him if he would like some help around the house and do it. Plan a weekend and recruit some mutual friends to go do his yard work.
As he is feeling better, get him the fuck out of the house to do something, a movie, a run, a beer, whatever the hell he will do. Don’t dance around his loss but don’t make it the focus either. It’s good for him to deal with it but it is also nice to have distractions.
Just be his friend. Don’t be too pushy but make sure you don’t forget about him. He may not appreciate it now, but down the road, I’m sure he will.
I’m not an expert, just speaking from my own experience. I’m terribly sorry your friend is going through this.
who's smarter than you're? i'm!
Re: Suicide [veganerd]
[ In reply to ]
This is great advice for any friend who is grieving for any tragic loss of someone they love-accident, OD, suicide, illness.
Just show the fuck up, and keep showing up.
In this country, we avoid painful situations at all costs and then pretend they didn't happen in the first place. You may be a bit uncomfortable being around someone who is actively grieving but imagine what they are going through-torture. Then friends disappear-because it is painful to watch.
Then the judgements start-well, shouldn't you have gotten over this by now??? If you had a depressive nature before, this mass exodus of friends certainly can start a very painful situation. Grieving the loss of your "person" , then the loss of your friends from "before" the loss.
Talking about issues with folks who really care sheds light on the dark painful places in our lives.
The OP post was deleted before most could read it-I wish them peace.
Just show the fuck up, and keep showing up.
In this country, we avoid painful situations at all costs and then pretend they didn't happen in the first place. You may be a bit uncomfortable being around someone who is actively grieving but imagine what they are going through-torture. Then friends disappear-because it is painful to watch.
Then the judgements start-well, shouldn't you have gotten over this by now??? If you had a depressive nature before, this mass exodus of friends certainly can start a very painful situation. Grieving the loss of your "person" , then the loss of your friends from "before" the loss.
Talking about issues with folks who really care sheds light on the dark painful places in our lives.
The OP post was deleted before most could read it-I wish them peace.
Re: Suicide [Moonrocket]
[ In reply to ]
This.
Just show the fuck up, and keep showing up.
In this country, we avoid painful situations at all costs and then pretend they didn't happen in the first place. You may be a bit uncomfortable being around someone who is actively grieving but imagine what they are going through-torture. Then friends disappear-because it is painful to watch.
Then the judgements start-well, shouldn't you have gotten over this by now??? If you had a depressive nature before, this mass exodus of friends certainly can start a very painful situation. Grieving the loss of your "person" , then the loss of your friends from "before" the loss.
Talking about issues with folks who really care sheds light on the dark painful places in our lives.
The OP post was deleted before most could read it-I wish them peace.
I am sorry for your friend's loss. Both veganerd and cayenne provided good thoughts on the matter. Your friend/coworker has a rough road ahead, there's no sugar coating it. But you need to remember, any solace or peace or minor distraction he receives, even if only for a minute, makes a difference in that minute.
Nova, if you are checking or reading this, please take care. Looking forward to seeing your posts again, even if to let us know that you are ok.
cayenne wrote:
This is great advice for any friend who is grieving for any tragic loss of someone they love-accident, OD, suicide, illness. Just show the fuck up, and keep showing up.
In this country, we avoid painful situations at all costs and then pretend they didn't happen in the first place. You may be a bit uncomfortable being around someone who is actively grieving but imagine what they are going through-torture. Then friends disappear-because it is painful to watch.
Then the judgements start-well, shouldn't you have gotten over this by now??? If you had a depressive nature before, this mass exodus of friends certainly can start a very painful situation. Grieving the loss of your "person" , then the loss of your friends from "before" the loss.
Talking about issues with folks who really care sheds light on the dark painful places in our lives.
The OP post was deleted before most could read it-I wish them peace.
I am sorry for your friend's loss. Both veganerd and cayenne provided good thoughts on the matter. Your friend/coworker has a rough road ahead, there's no sugar coating it. But you need to remember, any solace or peace or minor distraction he receives, even if only for a minute, makes a difference in that minute.
Nova, if you are checking or reading this, please take care. Looking forward to seeing your posts again, even if to let us know that you are ok.
I didn’t see the original message but wanted to reach out to you and let you know that I and others are thinking about you and we care.
As others have said, there is so much beauty in life and yes it is difficult to remember those small moments & experiences when it feels like your own existence is inconsequential. It isn’t. There are so many positive things that we contribute to others’ lives (and they know and remember and are grateful!) - it’s easy to forget when life is giving you sour grapes instead of sweet mangos. Remember that the season for sweet mangos is just around the corner and they are worth the wait :)
Quokkas always put a smile on my face so I’ve included one here reaching out for a big hug :)
As others have said, there is so much beauty in life and yes it is difficult to remember those small moments & experiences when it feels like your own existence is inconsequential. It isn’t. There are so many positive things that we contribute to others’ lives (and they know and remember and are grateful!) - it’s easy to forget when life is giving you sour grapes instead of sweet mangos. Remember that the season for sweet mangos is just around the corner and they are worth the wait :)
Quokkas always put a smile on my face so I’ve included one here reaching out for a big hug :)
