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Re: How to keep Ironman from consuming your life [Ai_1] [ In reply to ]
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Ai_1 wrote:
Toothengineer wrote:
Ai_1 wrote:
Toothengineer wrote:
Ai_1 wrote:
Toothengineer wrote:
If I did not get my workouts in i would be misserable, if I where misserable that would have a negative affect on my marriage....

That, potentially, is a very convenient rationale to facilitate self indulgence.


Common I cant be the only one here that if I dont get my workouts in I am super cranky. My wife basically says I am like a dog that's hyper active. I am more effective in my daily life if I am excising. I cant be the only one.

I said potentially. Wasn't saying it's bit true.
At the same time, I reckon it's a short term effect of missed training. If you become used to less training, I think you won't suffer withdrawal. So I don't think it's a legit reason you must keep training at high volumes.


I will respectfully disagree. I tend to find I need a bare min of 8-10 hours a week in my life to feel "normal".... at 12-14 I feel that optimal... weeks of 17-22 hours.

To the OP I like the idea of maybe backing off all 3 sports. If you had to be time effective the choice has to be running. You can spend 5-6 hours a week running and get great run fitness. while spending another 1 hour a week swimming. Fit biking in if there is extra time.

When's the last time you have NOT trained for a prolonged period?

Who on this forum really doesn't? I would be very surprised to find that more than a vast minority don't do something physical almost, if not, every day. Even when I'm not "training" I'm on the bike for 60 minutes on the trainer or running 4 or 5 miles in the morning to start my day. Not doing something at least daily sounds like hell.

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Re: How to keep Ironman from consuming your life [ In reply to ]
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Uh-oh

Sounds like another addiction thread might be popping up soon

Blessed are the Nobodies, for Theirs is the Kingdom of Fascinating Stories
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Re: How to keep Ironman from consuming your life [wintershade] [ In reply to ]
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wintershade wrote:
During some pillow talk before bed last night, my wife asked me: "Do you think there will ever be a time when our life doesn't revolve around your crazy workout schedule?"

I was kind of caught off-guard. I didn't really know how to answer. My wife is super accommodating to my training, considering I'm not a pro. She supports my aspirations to do Ultraman and RAAM. I think part of why she loves me and married me was because I strive for excellence. But if I'm honest with myself, it is a bit selfish to peruse these goals, especially now that we have a son. I want to continue to progress as an athlete. But I don't want my entire family's life to revolve around my personal athletic goals.

For those of who have managed to stick with triathlon and compete at a high level for a long time despite family and work obligations (I've long since abandoned social obligations), how do you manage? I considered maybe taking a year or two as a single sport athlete (cycling, which is my limiter) with perhaps just minimal running when traveling without a bike, but I don't want to abandon my quest for a 3hr marathon (especially since I'm getting close) nor stop swimming (my strength).

It's just tough.....


No it would be tough IF your wife tells you she wants a divorce....like mine did
No it would be tough when you've spent over $50,000 on legal fees with no end in sight
No it would be tough when you only get to see your kid(s) 50% of the time
No it would be tough spending thousands of dollars on psychologists for the kid(s) because they are so messed up from the divorce
No it would be tough if you're forced to sell your house
No it would be tough if you have to tell your kid(s) you have to sell the house they grew up in
No it would be tough when you're sitting in your empty house by yourself eating chips and drinking beers because you've lost ALL motivation to train
No it would be tough when you gain 20 pounds

Decide what's really important in your life. After five Ironman finishes (MOP), I have decided what's important in my life and its not finishing another Ironman [or Ultraman or RAAM etc].........its my kids

I wish I had known better................
Last edited by: ptakeda: Feb 20, 19 10:03
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Re: How to keep Ironman from consuming your life [ptakeda] [ In reply to ]
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This needs to be stickied.

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Re: How to keep Ironman from consuming your life [ptakeda] [ In reply to ]
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ptakeda wrote:
wintershade wrote:
During some pillow talk before bed last night, my wife asked me: "Do you think there will ever be a time when our life doesn't revolve around your crazy workout schedule?"


I was kind of caught off-guard. I didn't really know how to answer. My wife is super accommodating to my training, considering I'm not a pro. She supports my aspirations to do Ultraman and RAAM. I think part of why she loves me and married me was because I strive for excellence. But if I'm honest with myself, it is a bit selfish to peruse these goals, especially now that we have a son. I want to continue to progress as an athlete. But I don't want my entire family's life to revolve around my personal athletic goals.

For those of who have managed to stick with triathlon and compete at a high level for a long time despite family and work obligations (I've long since abandoned social obligations), how do you manage? I considered maybe taking a year or two as a single sport athlete (cycling, which is my limiter) with perhaps just minimal running when traveling without a bike, but I don't want to abandon my quest for a 3hr marathon (especially since I'm getting close) nor stop swimming (my strength).

It's just tough.....


No it would be tough IF your wife tells you she wants a divorce....like mine did
No it would be tough when you've spent over $50,000 on legal fees with no end in sight
No it would be tough when you only get to see your kid(s) 50% of the time
No it would be tough spending thousands of dollars on psychologists for the kid(s) because they are so messed up from the divorce
No it would be tough if you're forced to sell your house
No it would be tough if you have to tell your kid(s) you have to sell the house they grew up in
No it would be tough when you're sitting in your empty house by yourself eating chips and drinking beers because you've lost ALL motivation to train
No it would be tough when you gain 20 pounds

Decide what's really important in your life. After five Ironman finishes (MOP), I have decided what's important in my life and its not finishing another Ironman [or Ultraman or RAAM etc].........its my kids

I wish I had known better................ [/quote

ptakeda said it best, the fact your wife is even supportive makes her a keeper. The fact she's already proverbially let you "get away with murder" makes her a keeper X 2. Before my wife got pregnant with our first child I was a fast age grouper like you and she did races with me. So don't even think about *double homicide triathlon* right now you've gotten away with a lot.

After our first child was born my wife did everything she could to stop me from even doing general exercise - let alone racing. I would have to secretly hide a 25min run on my lunch break as if I was having an extramarital affair it was awful. And that might have been my only workout for 3 days. She was a stay at home mom. Shouting "I hope you get hit by a truck in your race and die!" As I headed out to do local sprint triathlon (circa 2009)

If you want to know what a bad spouse really is - read this thread. You'll be thankful for yours.

https://forum.slowtwitch.com/forum/Slowtwitch_Forums_C1/Lavender_Room_F4/Divorce_with_young_kids_P6757099/?page=-1




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Re: How to keep Ironman from consuming your life [wintershade] [ In reply to ]
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Might I suggest that you subtly encourage your wife to have an affair. That way she'll be keen to have you out of the house often and for long periods with the bonus that when you are there you won't be expected to do that affection stuff that eats into your recovery.
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Re: How to keep Ironman from consuming your life [cloy] [ In reply to ]
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cloy wrote:
Ai_1 wrote:
Toothengineer wrote:
Ai_1 wrote:
Toothengineer wrote:
Ai_1 wrote:
Toothengineer wrote:
If I did not get my workouts in i would be misserable, if I where misserable that would have a negative affect on my marriage....

That, potentially, is a very convenient rationale to facilitate self indulgence.


Common I cant be the only one here that if I dont get my workouts in I am super cranky. My wife basically says I am like a dog that's hyper active. I am more effective in my daily life if I am excising. I cant be the only one.

I said potentially. Wasn't saying it's bit true.
At the same time, I reckon it's a short term effect of missed training. If you become used to less training, I think you won't suffer withdrawal. So I don't think it's a legit reason you must keep training at high volumes.


I will respectfully disagree. I tend to find I need a bare min of 8-10 hours a week in my life to feel "normal".... at 12-14 I feel that optimal... weeks of 17-22 hours.

To the OP I like the idea of maybe backing off all 3 sports. If you had to be time effective the choice has to be running. You can spend 5-6 hours a week running and get great run fitness. while spending another 1 hour a week swimming. Fit biking in if there is extra time.

When's the last time you have NOT trained for a prolonged period?


Who on this forum really doesn't? I would be very surprised to find that more than a vast minority don't do something physical almost, if not, every day. Even when I'm not "training" I'm on the bike for 60 minutes on the trainer or running 4 or 5 miles in the morning to start my day. Not doing something at least daily sounds like hell.

This is actually one of the reasons I have a coach. My coach helps me keep a balance between training and meeting my goals while also staying uninjured and actually having a life outside of training. Granted I'm MOP, but no way would I be happy consistently training 12-14 hours a week.
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Re: How to keep Ironman from consuming your life [MadTownTRI] [ In reply to ]
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MadTownTRI wrote:
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I had my VO2 max tested in college as part of an academic study, I forget the VO2 max number but it was in 99% percentile so I know I have a big aerobic engine.


Plenty of good posts on emotional intelligence in this thread. I'll leave that side of this alone.

But I think the training challenge here is equally interesting. You seem like an intelligent guy, so reframe the challenge to optimizing your performance out of 8 or 9 hours a week. You should be able to fit that load around your life.

Assuming you were VO2 tested in the low 60s in your early 20s, you should still reasonably be be able to break 3hours off of a base like 20 miles a week, building a bit, and a well-rounded SBR program of like 8 hours total-- even with your durability challenges. If you cant, something is out of balance and you aren't getting the stimuli right. No reason you couldn't go 4:30/4:40 in a HIM off of that type of program, either. That's my N=1 at 8 hours a week, with a lower VO2 max.

Lots of good life advice here, and my wife and I have had some good conversations about how I can integrate training into our lives better and make it clear that she and our son are the priority, rather than Ironman. I think what's clear coming out of that is the time I'll have available for training over the next couple years would allow to be competitive at the Olympic and MAYBE HIM distance, but not full IM. And that's okay.

What I guess I'm looking for is how to get excited about these shorter distances. I can't be alone in building up Ironman (and Ultraman, RAAM, etc.) to be the holy grail in endurance sports. Somehow going further and further and further always seemed to interest me more than going faster..... like there's more glory or something.

So I ask, for those who have had to modify their primary race distance to Oly or 70.3 down from IM, how do you get pumped about the challenge. I really like what MadTownTRI suggests: "reframing the challenge" to optimize my performance based on the time I have available, rather than trying to figure out how far I can go on a self-centered, unlimited volume approach.
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Re: How to keep Ironman from consuming your life [wintershade] [ In reply to ]
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I get pumped up about going faster.

Training with constraints still allows for improvements in triathlon performance.

Also, I tend to have off season goals and shift my hours accordingly. Last year I did an open marathon and raced the full BWR within 6 weeks of each other. I have my 10 - 12 hrs per week on average and had to be creative and use some days off to go from marathon to BWR. During these blocks the other sports go into maintenance mode or fall off completely.

I do what makes me happy and competitive.

This year I am trying to get my running mileage up through to Boston and then will try and take that fitness into Tri season.

The point is Oly is pretty much the same training volume as HIM and you require more intensity to be competitive. What’s there not to get pumped up about?
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Re: How to keep Ironman from consuming your life [wintershade] [ In reply to ]
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Be pumped up just to do the workouts. Some new parents needing that fix get shut out and that's a problem. As for your challenge, it depends. Do you race for the endurance activity fix or do you need the competition fix?

If for the activity fix, enter local races. They're easy for family travel, relatively less expensive, you meet people you see that generally live nearby, and it's a family bonding experience.

If you need the competition fix, then go to races where you will get the competition level you look for. Could be local, regional, or Nationals. Go to "event" races for the top competition and the cool experiences. Combine the destination races of competition with things for your wife and kid(s) such as fun parks, National Parks, motor car race events, restaurants, etc. Tie races into combination events. Something great for everyone. In 10, 20, 30 years when you look back on life, no one will talk about all the money you spent on a new car, new bike, new nursery, etc. but you will talk about the great trips and stories about the events during those trips. And that's family bonding with creating life long memories. With your background, you could probably do top tier AG racing with 7-10 hour/week of training for Oly and HM. USAT Nationals are spectacular events. There other great, competitive events to choose from too.

Recognize as your kids grow, your wife and you'll serve as primary role models for them. If you swim, bike, run, compete, and have fun; then your kids probably will want to do the same. They watch you compete. Later you'll watch them compete. Maybe same sports. Maybe different sports. If you sit on the couch, do e-games, drive race cars (again), or veg out; then expect them to do some modeling around what they see as acceptable behavior. I saw this first hand when living in Phoenix. At my oldest daughter's 5th grade graduation, the kids gave a quote of what they wanted to be when growing up. About a one-third of the class said they "... wanted to grow up and be a professional ________ (baseball/basketball/soccer/football player) like my dad". No kidding. Another 1/3 wanted to be marine biologists, and the other 1/3 chose more mundane things. (If interested, my daughter wanted to grow up and be a mom. I wasn't much of a role model for her. But she did swim, bike, run, and compete in other sports).

Finally, looking down the road in10-20 years you will have a strong base to step up for competitive IM's. Probably not as fast as you could now but with much less stress and spousal pressure. And that alone should be enough for you to get pumped up now for shorter races and near-term pay-offs while building base and a kid-parent relationship for going long on a future payouts.

https://www.palmtreesahead.com/
https://www.palmtreesahead.com/tactics2faster-new


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Re: How to keep Ironman from consuming your life [wintershade] [ In reply to ]
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wintershade wrote:
MadTownTRI wrote:
Quote:
I had my VO2 max tested in college as part of an academic study, I forget the VO2 max number but it was in 99% percentile so I know I have a big aerobic engine.


Plenty of good posts on emotional intelligence in this thread. I'll leave that side of this alone.

But I think the training challenge here is equally interesting. You seem like an intelligent guy, so reframe the challenge to optimizing your performance out of 8 or 9 hours a week. You should be able to fit that load around your life.

Assuming you were VO2 tested in the low 60s in your early 20s, you should still reasonably be be able to break 3hours off of a base like 20 miles a week, building a bit, and a well-rounded SBR program of like 8 hours total-- even with your durability challenges. If you cant, something is out of balance and you aren't getting the stimuli right. No reason you couldn't go 4:30/4:40 in a HIM off of that type of program, either. That's my N=1 at 8 hours a week, with a lower VO2 max.


Lots of good life advice here, and my wife and I have had some good conversations about how I can integrate training into our lives better and make it clear that she and our son are the priority, rather than Ironman. I think what's clear coming out of that is the time I'll have available for training over the next couple years would allow to be competitive at the Olympic and MAYBE HIM distance, but not full IM. And that's okay.

What I guess I'm looking for is how to get excited about these shorter distances. I can't be alone in building up Ironman (and Ultraman, RAAM, etc.) to be the holy grail in endurance sports. Somehow going further and further and further always seemed to interest me more than going faster..... like there's more glory or something.

So I ask, for those who have had to modify their primary race distance to Oly or 70.3 down from IM, how do you get pumped about the challenge. I really like what MadTownTRI suggests: "reframing the challenge" to optimize my performance based on the time I have available, rather than trying to figure out how far I can go on a self-centered, unlimited volume approach.

The day you complete an Olympic triathlon or sprint and your individual splits are close to your open PR's the those disciplines you'll feel like, Whoah - I've arrived!

In 2007 I was your friendly neighborhood fast 5k guy getting into triathlon. I was so cocky about my run everyone down skill and ran a 19:07? on the 5k leg of the Newport Beach triathlon. Don't get me wrong I'm sure the course is not a true 5k.

In 2012 after 5 years of getting seriously faster swimming and biking, I completed in the same race after a 5 year break laying it all out on the swim and the run and...... ran a 19:04, that was my triathlon - I've arrived moment.

The thrill you'll get competing at the front of the race (I believe that's where you'll be very quickly) may be like nothing you've experienced in longer distances. If you end up leading the race its almost kind of scary like "uh oh - this is all on me"

It's quite a rush.
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Re: How to keep Ironman from consuming your life [Stafford Brown] [ In reply to ]
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Stafford Brown wrote:

The thrill you'll get competing at the front of the race (I believe that's where you'll be very quickly) may be like nothing you've experienced in longer distances. If you end up leading the race its almost kind of scary like "uh oh - this is all on me"

It's quite a rush.


Reading that gave me chills. Now THAT sounds fun. Okay, so now I think I know what to strive for until the kids are too cool to hang out with me 15 years from now.

Okay, off to go crush my local 10K this morning, see if I can at least win my AG.... this will be fun.
Last edited by: wintershade: Feb 23, 19 6:29
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Re: How to keep Ironman from consuming your life [Stafford Brown] [ In reply to ]
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MadTownTRI wrote:


Somehow going further and further and further always seemed to interest me more than going faster..... like there's more glory or something.


I got caught up in this with running. Going to 50K, 12 hour, 100K, and 24 hour stuff. I've even won a 24 hour, and a 50K. The interesting part is that the "more glory" is BS. There's fewer folks in them, and sometimes award ceremonies are hours away and attended by a handful of stragglers. And all you want, is to go home and go to bed. The crowds are small. You often spend hours running alone, and the finish, even for the winners, is often just the RD and a couple volunteers, and if your lucky, a family member who's bored to freaking tears. The courses are so different, that there's really no PR's or bragging, like there is in short fast stuff. And non runners of course don't care, and don't know the difference between a 5K marathon and a 24 hour marathon... it's all stupid to them. But most of all, I know how to slog along for hours and hours and hours at a time, walk when I no longer feel like slogging, and then slog some more every now and then. and I don't have to prove that I can anymore. Even with some small successes, I got nothing out of it, like I do winning my age group at a local short tri, or 5K, surrounded by friends and "rivals". I've even won two small local sprint tris, and comparatively, I can vouch that the thrill is out of this world! It's kind if interesting now, because I still follow friends that are still doing those long ass events. Spending entire weekends training, and then slogging more weekends away racing. Nothing against them, but I look back at my time doing it, and think what a waste.

Athlinks / Strava
Last edited by: Dean T: Feb 23, 19 7:26
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Re: How to keep Ironman from consuming your life [wintershade] [ In reply to ]
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As someone who had the opportunities to focus on long course tri from my mid 20s to my mid 40s and am about to turn 60, I can testify that what I really miss now is being able to run as fast as I could when I was young. My 5K pace is now slower than my PR marathon pace and I have trained consistently for the past 40 years. So enjoy the 10Ks and short course tris now!

I certainly understand the thought that going long is the holy grail. I decided that for my 60th birthday I was going to train for a 50 mile trail run in the Alps. I've never run longer than a 50K and that was 30+ years ago on flat roads. Although I'm very excited about that challenge coming up in three months, you know what I end up thinking about on a lot of my runs? How I can't wait to return to training where I don't have to focus so much on the mileage and can try to feel fast again.
Last edited by: Mark Lemmon: Feb 23, 19 11:25
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Re: How to keep Ironman from consuming your life [ In reply to ]
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Don't train for UberMan...

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Hooker training for the Sport of Scrum-Halves [Triathlon]
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Re: How to keep Ironman from consuming your life [wintershade] [ In reply to ]
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wintershade wrote:
Stafford Brown wrote:

The thrill you'll get competing at the front of the race (I believe that's where you'll be very quickly) may be like nothing you've experienced in longer distances. If you end up leading the race its almost kind of scary like "uh oh - this is all on me"

It's quite a rush.


Reading that gave me chills. Now THAT sounds fun. Okay, so now I think I know what to strive for until the kids are too cool to hang out with me 15 years from now.

Okay, off to go crush my local 10K this morning, see if I can at least win my AG.... this will be fun.

I hope you won!

Last August I was in a 5k club running race in Long Beach with various distances as the same time. Even though I'm 15lbs over weight and hadn't done any speed work all damn year. By the 1.5 mile mark I was leading the little 5k. But yes when I was leading the race I was like "Oh uh, it's me now!" it's a cool feeling. I even wedged under 7min per mile overall, Based on a long week of training and dead legs I was expecting like 8min per mile tops - I was dead. We never know what we can do until we get out there and compete.

2 hours after said 2nd place overall 5k I was doing follow up 40k bike ride - crashed head first into pavement strained neck and back avoiding another cyclist. Went to ER and was terrified I was going home un a wheelchair for life. I hit the brakes hard, and hammered my head (helmet) dead center and body slammed.

Broke hand so bad I now have a cool wolverine X-Men claw implant holding the 3rd hand bone in place. X-ray is a good conversation piece.

I almost swore off Triathlon after that - that's my 3rd big bike crash scare. Enjoy the running, there is more use injury risk, but less go home in a wheel chair risk.
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Re: How to keep Ironman from consuming your life [wintershade] [ In reply to ]
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In a similar situation as all the Dads on here. Worked 2 Ironmans in when she was pregnant then him 3 months, now just half Ironmans so I can have more family time. Not sure how old your baby is but I've found running with a jogging stroller to be a win win. My wife can study, and I'm watching him for 30min to an hour a day. Done up to 2 hours and he just falls asleep. Only time my son gets fussy is windy days, but I got a wind blocker and that seems to be working. Running 25-30 miles a week with the stroller for the last couple months.
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Re: How to keep Ironman from consuming your life [CP78] [ In reply to ]
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CP78 wrote:
In a similar situation as all the Dads on here. Worked 2 Ironmans in when she was pregnant then him 3 months, now just half Ironmans so I can have more family time. Not sure how old your baby is but I've found running with a jogging stroller to be a win win. My wife can study, and I'm watching him for 30min to an hour a day. Done up to 2 hours and he just falls asleep. Only time my son gets fussy is windy days, but I got a wind blocker and that seems to be working. Running 25-30 miles a week with the stroller for the last couple months.

Yes I always joke with people 70.3 is "The working man's ironman"

And yes I know people who work full, time, have a family, and still do 1-2 fulls per year and are still peppy and alert at work. I don't think everyone has that capacity tho.
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Re: How to keep Ironman from consuming your life [wintershade] [ In reply to ]
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wintershade wrote:
Stafford Brown wrote:

The thrill you'll get competing at the front of the race (I believe that's where you'll be very quickly) may be like nothing you've experienced in longer distances. If you end up leading the race its almost kind of scary like "uh oh - this is all on me"

It's quite a rush.


Reading that gave me chills. Now THAT sounds fun. Okay, so now I think I know what to strive for until the kids are too cool to hang out with me 15 years from now.

Okay, off to go crush my local 10K this morning, see if I can at least win my AG.... this will be fun.

This is why I still primarily do shorter racing. I've led coming off the bike in multiple sprint/oly races. The feeling of overtaking the front person on the bike and pushing the pace to increase the gap is such a rush. Having the only thing in front is the lead motorcycle is such a great feeling, but you better hope you put enough of a gap in so you can hold off #2 on the run.

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