So, The Meg is a stupid movie. The good thing is, it pretty much knows it's a stupid movie, you pretty much already know it's a stupid movie, so at least there's no mismatched expectations.
Jonas Taylor (Jason Statham) is the leader of a deep sea rescue team that specializes in pulling people out of crashed vessels at extreme depths. In the middle of executing just such a rescue mission, Jonas encounters something in the water large enough to crush a submarine from the outside, forcing him to make the terrible decision to leave two of his crew behind to die so he can escape with the submarine's survivors. Years later, a scientific expedition funded by an eccentric billionaire (Rainn Wilson), and including Jonas's ex-wife, has encountered another mysterious massive creature, and they call on the only man known to have survived a rescue attempt at the massive depths where the behemoth is found. Jonas successfully rescues most of the stranded crew, but in doing so, the team draws the mystery creature (hint: it's a really big shark) up to the surface where it now poses a danger to all of humanity (apparently).
The Meg, as I said, is pretty stupid. The plot is very basic. Man finds big shark. Shark is dangerous. Man tries to kill big shark. Not much thinking to do for this one. It's also got all the stereotypical characters. There's eccentric billionaire, world weary hero, comic relief black guy who can't swim despite working in a deep sea underwater facility, precocious child, and brilliant female scientist who just wants her father to be proud of her. There's even punky badass female scientist/technician with "hip" name played by actress with even "hipper" name (Jaxx played by Ruby Rose who can't, at all, act.) There are all of the familiar shark movie beats, designed to make you jump in your seat at all the familiar parts of the movie.
What's missing is a commitment from the filmmakers to what kind of shark film this will be. It's not over the top enough to fall into the Sharknado category, but it's not straightforward and grounded enough to feel realistic. It's not gory enough to be a bloodfest, but it's not tame enough to be a serious film. It's not funny enough to be a comedy, but it's not serious enough to be a straight-up action film. It kind of sits in between, and probably suffers a bit because of that.
Overall, The Meg was pretty much what I expected. The effects are good. I saw it in 3D because that's all that was available, but I don't know that the 3D brought much that a regular viewing wouldn't have offered. The acting and script are mediocre, except for Rose who really sucks. There was a nice chemistry between Statham and the female lead, but nothing spectacular. The action is pretty good, and this would definitely qualify as a good summer weekend popcorn movie. Plus it's only PG-13, because there's relatively little gore, and no sex or nudity, although there's a bit of foul language, so you really could probably bring the kids with you, so long as they're not too young or sensitive.
Slowguy
(insert pithy phrase here...)
Jonas Taylor (Jason Statham) is the leader of a deep sea rescue team that specializes in pulling people out of crashed vessels at extreme depths. In the middle of executing just such a rescue mission, Jonas encounters something in the water large enough to crush a submarine from the outside, forcing him to make the terrible decision to leave two of his crew behind to die so he can escape with the submarine's survivors. Years later, a scientific expedition funded by an eccentric billionaire (Rainn Wilson), and including Jonas's ex-wife, has encountered another mysterious massive creature, and they call on the only man known to have survived a rescue attempt at the massive depths where the behemoth is found. Jonas successfully rescues most of the stranded crew, but in doing so, the team draws the mystery creature (hint: it's a really big shark) up to the surface where it now poses a danger to all of humanity (apparently).
The Meg, as I said, is pretty stupid. The plot is very basic. Man finds big shark. Shark is dangerous. Man tries to kill big shark. Not much thinking to do for this one. It's also got all the stereotypical characters. There's eccentric billionaire, world weary hero, comic relief black guy who can't swim despite working in a deep sea underwater facility, precocious child, and brilliant female scientist who just wants her father to be proud of her. There's even punky badass female scientist/technician with "hip" name played by actress with even "hipper" name (Jaxx played by Ruby Rose who can't, at all, act.) There are all of the familiar shark movie beats, designed to make you jump in your seat at all the familiar parts of the movie.
What's missing is a commitment from the filmmakers to what kind of shark film this will be. It's not over the top enough to fall into the Sharknado category, but it's not straightforward and grounded enough to feel realistic. It's not gory enough to be a bloodfest, but it's not tame enough to be a serious film. It's not funny enough to be a comedy, but it's not serious enough to be a straight-up action film. It kind of sits in between, and probably suffers a bit because of that.
Overall, The Meg was pretty much what I expected. The effects are good. I saw it in 3D because that's all that was available, but I don't know that the 3D brought much that a regular viewing wouldn't have offered. The acting and script are mediocre, except for Rose who really sucks. There was a nice chemistry between Statham and the female lead, but nothing spectacular. The action is pretty good, and this would definitely qualify as a good summer weekend popcorn movie. Plus it's only PG-13, because there's relatively little gore, and no sex or nudity, although there's a bit of foul language, so you really could probably bring the kids with you, so long as they're not too young or sensitive.
Slowguy
(insert pithy phrase here...)
