Calamityjane88 wrote:
JSA wrote:
Dr. Tigerchik wrote:
Quote:
Sure. That makes sense. But can it be neither a character flaw
nor an act emblematic of severe pain? I don’t know. Just, the most effective counselors I know (sex crime therapists, substance abuse therapists) tend to be anti-stigmatic (is that a word?). I don’t know that this point of view has made its way to suicide. Depression perhaps but not suicide. Successful suicide practitioners don’t represent a vocal constituency arguing their case.
I guess I can't really think of a hypothetical in which wanting to commit suicide is not emblematic of severe pain. Maybe an elderly person just really tired of living?
I'm with Slowman on this one. I can see a view in which a person feels he/she has accomplished everything he/she wanted to accomplish. At that point, the question becomes - why continue in this life? If you subscribe the philosophy of a glorious after-life, that realm could be enticing. If you believe there is nothing after death, then you have nothing to lose. If you believe in karmic energy, then it may be time for a new phase.
What strikes me, especially in this case, is leaving young children behind. For me, personally, I don't want to die, but, I have zero fear/concern/care about dying. I've done more than most will do in their lives. But, it pains me to think of the pain for the people I leave behind. It is this aspect, especially when kids are involved, that makes us question why. For me, I struggle with Chester Bennington's death for that very reason.
Your theories are tempting, Slowman. Please don't think I am judging or attacking the dignity of those who have committed suicide. I look at it from a different perspective:
A good high school friend of mine committed suicide when we were in our mid-20's, spring of 2006. I nursed my first baby at his memorial service while I listened to his mom describe a taxi ride she took through NYC to my friend's apartment where he died.
Last year the 38 year old mom of one of my 9 year old daughter's friends ended her own life. She had a 9 year old daughter and a 17 year old son. The mom and I had carpooled to our daughters' basketball games. One week we were plotting to get the girls on the same softball team for the summer, and the next week she was gone.
On Sunday, my MIL emailed to let us know my husband's cousin's 17 year old son had hung himself last Thursday after returning home from his 3rd year at college. He leaves behind a sister and father, grandfather, cousins, etc. His mom died of pancreatic cancer in 2008.
We, all of humanity, have an obligation to care for each other. When we harm ourselves, we harm each other. Live for others.
i don't have any theories. i do think a suicide from someone in his or her first quarter of life is different from someone in his or her last quarter.
but mostly i'm just commenting on the response from the remainders, not the motivations of the departed.
in this life it doesn't matter what you think; or even what you believe. it only matters what you do. if anyone who offers an opinion about someone's suicide would use that energy to take a neighbor to breakfast, it would do more good.
Dan Empfield
aka Slowman