Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way.

May 30, 18 13:08

Post #1 of 23 (5458 views)

Hello.

I've been hanging out here for 20 years or so. I'm the obese fat old slow woman who barely makes the cutoffs and sometimes doesn't. I'm pushing 67 and feeling both hip resurfacings (thanks Cleveland Clinic) and lower back stenoses & all that other jazz that goes with being an old slow fart.

Look. I figure I've got maybe 20 good years or so if I'm lucky. I stopped smoking after my husband died 4 years ago (RIP to Mister T, my disabled Vietnam-era Marine), and I still drink too much IPA and good tequila. Just 'cause. I'm way too fat but I don't eat shit. I've read everything Matt Fitzgerald has ever written. If it helps, I'm a retired federal litigator (30 years) living in central Florida but I'm scared to do anything in Clermont. Hi Kimberly. Hi Kevin. Hi Fred. :)

Mister Z, or anybody else ... I want to finish IMFL 70.3 in Haines City in April 2019. I'm not wealthy but I can pay for a coach. I hired Jeff Devlin for IMAZ 2013 but DNFd on the swim, and it wasn't his fault at all. I wasn't prepared for the chop and a gazillion other things, like hauling around my poor disabled DH in a wheelchair ... but it was what it was, and I learned a lot. Hi Coach. :)

Bueller ... Bueller ... Anyone want to coach a wreck of an old woman? I used to joke that God put the heart of an athlete into a schmuck body, but go figure ... it's no longer very funny. :(

Thanks a whole bunch. Just putting it out there as honestly as I can. No need to be a meany. I know all of my shortcomings, all too well.

~~ kate, aka amazonwarrior.

Last edited by: dreaming~big: May 30, 18 13:40

Re: Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way. [dreaming~big] [ In reply to ]

May 30, 18 13:18

Post #2 of 23 (5402 views)

I dont think there is anything wrong with entering shorter races at 67. Leaves more time for IPA at the finish line.

Re: Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way. [dreaming~big] [ In reply to ]

May 30, 18 13:36

Post #3 of 23 (5314 views)

There is no IMAZ 70.3 in Haines City. There is however an IMFL 70.3.

Re: Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way. [Skyline Chili] [ In reply to ]

May 30, 18 13:42

Post #4 of 23 (5284 views)

Well of course you're right, and thanks. Corrected. It's IMFL 70.3 in Haines City that I'm thinking (dubiously) about chasing with a couple of bum hips, bad back, & shoulders. Hellz bellz, if you don't laugh, you gotta cry. Better to laugh. :) Why oh why does that *hope* always have to spring frickin eternal?

Last edited by: dreaming~big: May 30, 18 13:44

Re: Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way. [dreaming~big] [ In reply to ]

May 30, 18 13:44

Post #5 of 23 (5264 views)

dreaming~big wrote:

Hello.

I've been hanging out here for 20 years or so. I'm the obese fat old slow woman who barely makes the cutoffs and sometimes doesn't.
...
~~ kate, aka amazonwarrior.

Dear Kate-Amazon-Warrior,

I'm glad to see your post. I admire old, fat and slow triathletes out on the course. It takes serious effort, as I know, to be out there a long time. Good luck coach hunting!

Cheers,
C. Jane

Re: Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way. [dreaming~big] [ In reply to ]

May 30, 18 13:48

Post #6 of 23 (5233 views)

Not a triathlon coach but I hope to have your attitude when I'm a bit older. Love the humor. Thanks for being awesome!

-Physiojoe
Instagram: @thephysiojoe
Cycling coach, Elite racer on Wooster Bikewerks p/b Wootown Bagels

Re: Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way. [dreaming~big] [ In reply to ]

May 30, 18 13:57

Post #7 of 23 (5189 views)

Kate:

Send me a PM. I’ll coach you Pro bono. You’ll reach your goal.

Regards, Doug

http://www.palmtreesahead.com

Re: Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way. [Physiojoe925] [ In reply to ]

May 30, 18 13:57

Post #8 of 23 (5188 views)

thanks, calamity & physio. If you don't laugh, you cry. Just fwiw, I have recently within the last couple of years developed some semi-serious balance issues. I'm scared to clip in anymore. Forgit about my lovely Litespeed Talon, the custom Guru Maestro, and the lovely pink QR tri bike ... none of which I can mount any more because of my limited ROM and the f*cked-up left hip resurface that pops when I move at all cattywhompus ... so I've been using this lovely Terry 650 with some Hed.3 wheels ... and huge platform pedals. Of course, they're bright blue ... cuzza why not? One of the reasons I'm skeert to bike in Clermont with all of the *serious triathletes* ... cuz I look like a True Mental Case. I have thought about making a Clown Tri Outfit cuzza it's so absurd. The first tri I did down in Clermont, I was so winded the cops stuck an oxygen mask on me, but then they figured it was just cuz I was so fat, so they took it off and went to find more *worthy* medical rescues, and left me huffing on the shores of Lake Whatchamacallit. Christ Almighty.

I need someone to direct the Grand Plan. Do I need PT? Hellz, do I need a psychiatrist? Meds? (Joke, I'm proud that I don't need to take any meds at all.)

Oh My Coach. Where Art Thou? :)

Last edited by: dreaming~big: May 30, 18 14:01

Re: Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way. [dreaming~big] [ In reply to ]

May 30, 18 13:58

Post #9 of 23 (5183 views)

What a great post! I admire the heck out of you. Where are you located? Sounds like swimming is your opportunity area? What kind of help do you find most helpful from a coach?

Re: Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way. [dreaming~big] [ In reply to ]

May 30, 18 14:06

Post #10 of 23 (5151 views)

I am not coached and have not been coached by anyone in central Florida, but with that 'legal' disclaimer, you might consider http://ironcladcoaching.com/

Why? Because she is local to you, has an excellent reputation and has the nutrition credentials that might be key to your future success. Good luck!

Re: Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way. [HuffNPuff] [ In reply to ]

May 30, 18 14:39

Post #11 of 23 (5038 views)

Heya, huffnpuff,

I have followed your Clermont-related posts for a number of years. Mucho thanks-o. Will follow up.

~~ kate

Re: Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way. [dreaming~big] [ In reply to ]

May 30, 18 16:41

Post #12 of 23 (4848 views)

I lived in Orlando for about 6 years and started triathlon during that time. During my 3rd season I booked a private swim lesson with Kerry Simmons, although she has athletes she coaches in all 3 disciplines.

She is also a prior lawyer who made the move to coach triathlon. She and her husband are both very talented athletes, and she coaches a number of triathletes around the area who always seem to be improving. While she is primarily a short-course athlete, there's no doubt in my mind that she could set you up for success.

Good luck! Don't hesitate to reach out to me in a private message. I moved to Denver (sitting for the Colorado bar in two months... any tips? hah!), but I still maintain contact with some triathletes back in the area. Also, if you're looking for a good shop to get involved with, David's Cycle (specifically, the College Park location in Orlando) is seriously the best shop in Florida I've ever had the opportunity to do business with.

http://teamorlandotri.com/kerry-simmons-head-coach/

@floathammerholdon | @partners_in_tri

Last edited by: cloy: May 30, 18 16:42

Re: Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way. [djmsbr] [ In reply to ]

May 30, 18 16:57

Post #13 of 23 (4809 views)

djmsbr wrote:

Kate:

Send me a PM. I’ll coach you Pro bono. You’ll reach your goal.

Regards, Doug

http://www.palmtreesahead.com

That's cool.

Re: Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way. [mackey] [ In reply to ]

May 30, 18 18:52

Post #14 of 23 (4658 views)

mackey wrote:

djmsbr wrote:

Kate:

Send me a PM. I’ll coach you Pro bono. You’ll reach your goal.

Regards, Doug

http://www.palmtreesahead.com

That's cool.

It’s AMAZING!! Such a nice thing to offer :)

Re: Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way. [Donzo98] [ In reply to ]

May 30, 18 19:04

Post #15 of 23 (4628 views)

Donzo98 wrote:

mackey wrote:

djmsbr wrote:

Kate:

Send me a PM. I’ll coach you Pro bono. You’ll reach your goal.

Regards, Doug

http://www.palmtreesahead.com

That's cool.

It’s AMAZING!! Such a nice thing to offer :)

============================================================
i agree. i hope you snap this up ASAP, with loads of gratitude expressed. what a nice WOW thing.
peggy

Re: Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way. [dreaming~big] [ In reply to ]

May 30, 18 19:16

Post #16 of 23 (4589 views)

Best of luck, you can do this! I'll be rooting for you!!

Re: Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way. [T3_Beer] [ In reply to ]

May 31, 18 7:43

Post #17 of 23 (4212 views)

I think where you went wrong is "good" tequila - you gotta drink the acetone/turpentine tasting under the sink dusty bottle that the bartender cringes at while wondering if it is even tequila or drain cleaner. That stuff will do you right. Get your body loose as a 20 year old acrobat

Re: Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way. [djmsbr] [ In reply to ]

May 31, 18 7:54

Post #18 of 23 (4177 views)

djmsbr wrote:

Kate:

Send me a PM. I’ll coach you Pro bono. You’ll reach your goal.

Regards, Doug

http://www.palmtreesahead.com

From a financial and Triathlon standpoint, you will have a hard time finding a better offer than this.

"Good genes are not a requirement, just the obsession to beat ones brains out daily"...the Griz

Re: Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way. [dreaming~big] [ In reply to ]

May 31, 18 8:43

Post #19 of 23 (4090 views)

Sounds like a spunky spirit!

I do coach, but I also have generated some plans geared towards athletes, for whatever reason, that need to walk (or fast walk/jog) the run portion.

My take is to get strong on the swim and bike so you get to the run course with ample time to walk/jog/crawl/whatever to the finish line.

I created it for a full IM, but it can be useful to build some bike strength and swim technique.

https://docs.google.com/...FXFnwJnNPVpW/pubhtml

Ryan
http://www.SetThePaceTriathlon.com
http://www.TriathlonTrainingDaddy.com
I got plans - https://www.trainingpeaks.com/...dotcom#trainingplans

Re: Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way. [dreaming~big] [ In reply to ]

May 31, 18 12:08

Post #20 of 23 (3911 views)

Don't apologize or feel bad about being a BOPer. I'm right there with you. If you're 67 and still have the drive to do what it takes to train and race a 70.3 after a few DNFs and injuries, kudos to you. It's easy to do the things you're good at. It takes guts to train 10+ hours per week for months, DNF or come in at the back of the pack, and still come back for more.

Re: Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way. [dreaming~big] [ In reply to ]

May 31, 18 12:52

Post #21 of 23 (3821 views)

Congrats on one of the funniest posts I’ve seen on ST.

Re: Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way. [dreaming~big] [ In reply to ]

May 31, 18 14:26

Post #22 of 23 (3678 views)

You guys. You crazy ST guys.

Thanks for your responses and your kindness and your assistance, all of it, the whole daggone shebang.

I feel like I've won the karmic lotto with djmsbr's unbelievably generous offer of coaching. Who the heck does that? Of course, my first instinct was to think I was being punked. So I checked him out through my Deep State contacts. (just kidding :)) He is the real deal. The realiest dealiest of deals.

So we're arranging a phone call to get on the same wavelength & moosh forward into Infamy.

How cool is that?

I always said that the Universe is beneficent and wants you to be happy. But well dawggies. See?

Thank you to Coach Doug seems really paltry. But thank you. I am so grateful. And thank you to ST for playing so nice on this thread, and for being so supportive and helpful.

IMFL 70.3 here we come!

~~ kate

Last edited by: dreaming~big: May 31, 18 14:31

Re: Don't Be Mean. IMFL 70.3. I Need Help In A Major Way. [dreaming~big] [ In reply to ]

May 31, 18 14:44

Post #23 of 23 (3650 views)

Be careful of Ironman Florida 70.3. It has one of the hardest swim. The M shape can get very choppy in spots. The bike course is 1/2 hills and the wind can be a problem at times. The run course has it’s own torture 3 loops first mile you get to climb 3 hills no shade then some false flats before going flat. This is not an easy race. It has been wetsuit legal the last 2 years

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