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E'rybody hate on daddy
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This thread is dedicated to the dedicated daddy's out there. Get in here if you need to whine like a little biotch about your woes being a daddy. Sorry for poor grammar or questionable language, it's the lavender room and it's supposed to be a bit funny.

I'll kick it off with this, one of my favorite Chris Rock segments: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOPPjDUV1lo

Warning, foul language. Not sure it's my favorite version he's done, but you get the idea.

We hear about all the patriarchy and problems today. I don't know about you, but I don't see that. I see whole new levels of daddy's both taking on more roles at home AND more daddy's being the stay home.

When I was growing up, this was daddy's work week schedule for a day:
-wakeup at 6am
-walk to kitchen and cuss about what brand of sugar shit cereal mom had bought
-eat it, then go downstairs and watch the news until 7:15........probably asleep
-leave for work at 7:30 arrive home at 5:15
-walk downstairs and turn on news, come up for dinner, return to TV downstairs
-go to bed

Toss in a few man chores like grass or the above-ground pool or some garden time, or playing golf.

I never in my childhood remember my dad either EVER or less than 5 times doing the following:
-laundry
-dishes
-reading stories to the kids or tending kids at bath time
-pickup groceries
-use a broom
-make a bed
-clean a bathroom

I hear more and more men picking up on these tasks at home with the division of labor, myself included. But with the division, respect does NOT follow. Sure, maybe daddy was an asshole for watching TV before and after dinner and not doing shit.

But daddy had more respect for doing that back then than daddy does today while doing that stuff.

To pickup further on the Chris Rock thing about father's day vs. mother's day.........God forbid you flub something on mother's day. Gift, brunch......it has to be brunch or you flubbed and forgot and had to do lunch or dinner.

Father's day and my birthday, no shit, I've been called 3 out of 3 years in a row in the middle of a golf round or bike ride about "where the heck are you". I've gotten tired of people growing older and being wussy and leaving the house at like 9PM when we're hanging out for my birthday, so this year I said I was going to ride with my riding buddies from 8AM till lunch. "Why you want to do that? I'll be with the kids then if you do that." I never said you couldn't do the same and I'd take the kids.

I do my first ever out of town race and God forbid. When the wife ran she did an out of town 1/2 run and has had the kids and I and other family at the finish with signs and shit every time. Daddy almost dies to finish mid pack in a bike road race of a bunch of crazy fools.......nothing. I finish a 100mi event last year and there's tacos and music and a family friendly environment.......oh, let's just hurry home since we're here to pick you up.

I don't think it's a "bad person" kind of thing, I just think that in this day and age............daddy don't get no respect NO MORE.
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Re: E'rybody hate on daddy [burnthesheep] [ In reply to ]
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Bike riding? Running?

BLEP! Get on this shit!!

Swimming Workout of the Day:

Favourite Swim Sets:

2020 National Masters Champion - M50-54 - 50m Butterfly
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Re: E'rybody hate on daddy [burnthesheep] [ In reply to ]
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Do you need a hug?

You need to relax. My wife works just as hard (not to mention gets paid way more than me). We split the household chores. I never deny my wife a night out with friends or a run with other women. I get the same. Are we perfect at it? Hell no, but when we know one needs a break we kick em out of the house with no time limit.
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Re: E'rybody hate on daddy [AndysStrongAle] [ In reply to ]
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No hugs, just peace.

I fully support anything she wants to do with time to herself. It's just that when it's daddy's turn, there's always a problem. That part is just a small personal excerpt for myself.

Don't let it keep you from letting it out. It feels good. Don't worry about me.
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Re: E'rybody hate on daddy [burnthesheep] [ In reply to ]
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I understand your frustration, based on personal experience.

You can join me in the "Needs A Hug Club".

king of the road says you move too slow
KING OF THE ROAD SAYS YOU MOVE TOO SLOW
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Re: E'rybody hate on daddy [burnthesheep] [ In reply to ]
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Good lord either you’re whiny as all hell or you need to talk to your wife. If your wife doesn’t know where you are on your birthday I’m not surprised she was calling you.

None of what has been listed has ever been an issue. Yeah I help out with things around the house because we both work and I’m not a lazy POS.
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Re: E'rybody hate on daddy [burnthesheep] [ In reply to ]
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Why does your family hate tacos?
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Re: E'rybody hate on daddy [gotsand] [ In reply to ]
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We love tacos. Or I'm missing a bad joke or pun here that I'm not aware of related to tacos.

Nah, people know where I am, where I'll be, when I'll be. When I say I'm going from 1-3pm, I'm going from 1 till 3. Not 1 till 2 or 1 till 2:30. It's not things that were planned last second or things that exceeded the expected time by some ungodly amount.

Best example was for a father's day my dad and I went to go see the US Open in Pinehurst for an afternoon the last time it came. This was known, discussed, approved months in advance. Approved before even getting a ticket for either of us. I don't spend a lot of time with him even though he lives just about an hour away. We grew up playing golf together.

How much complaining I got about this after we already decided to do it was unreal. Then after. And a call while we're on the way home. We didn't even go on actual father's day. I spent that with my boys and wife.

I'd love it if you spent a day with your mother if you wish to on a day around mother's day.
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Re: E'rybody hate on daddy [burnthesheep] [ In reply to ]
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After 31 years with my wife I only ever have two pieces of marital advice.
1. Choose the right person
2. Don't be a dick
Follow those, life is good. I read your story and I can only reach one conclusion.


I'm beginning to think that we are much more fucked than I thought.
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Re: E'rybody hate on daddy [burnthesheep] [ In reply to ]
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Yeah, sounds like you need to tell your wife to stop whining.

Does she get out or better yet try to get out? I'm assuming its jealousy going on.
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Re: E'rybody hate on daddy [j p o] [ In reply to ]
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Love that gif. It does sound like the OP is not getting the respect/love he feels he deserves. There is some truth in what he says. Mother's day is a way bigger deal than Father's day. Dad's don't get as much respect as they used to. I think most of us are trying to squeeze the orange a lot harder than we used to as well resulting in more frustration. My dad didn't do laundry, cooking or cleaning etc. On the other hand he was up on his way to work at 7 often not home to 5 or 6. On weekends he was either pricing work (contractor) or doing stuff around the yard. My mom was at home full time until we kids got into highschool so everything got done.

They constantly try to escape from the darkness outside and within
Dreaming of systems so perfect that no one will need to be good T.S. Eliot

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Re: E'rybody hate on daddy [j p o] [ In reply to ]
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j p o wrote:
After 31 years with my wife I only ever have two pieces of marital advice.
1. Choose the right person
2. Don't be a dick
Follow those, life is good. I read your story and I can only reach one conclusion.

This.

My one marital gripe is this:

My wife has very poor vision of the steps needed to go from where we are now to the life she wants to live. Don't get me wrong, she has a good job, makes good money, and is one of the hardest working people I know. But, she doesn't seem able to grasp sacrifices we must make to gain in other areas. I love making those sacrifices for the long term betterment of our family. Usually, those sacrifices are time and energy related, and she ends up complaining that I'm spending too much time and energy doing stuff for the family, without spending time and energy with the family.

It's a tricky balance for sure. There are only so many hours in the day, and I'm already thinly stretched with a small business, high energy dog, kid under a year old, rental property, fixer upper of a house, etc. But I know, 5 years from now, if I spend all my time with the family like she is wanting me to do right now, she will be complaining about how we aren't able to enjoy ourselves in other ways like I am trying to work towards right now.

I wish she could clearly make a plan of "these are my 5 year priorities,this is what needs to be done to reach those, these are the things I realize I will need to cut back on to make that happen". Instead, to her, everything is of equal value, no one area of life gets the attention it needs, and nothing really moves forward.

Long Chile was a silly place.
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Re: E'rybody hate on daddy [len] [ In reply to ]
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Getting off the "my turn" and "your turn" doing activities topic.........some of it is what was posted about roles and work too.

"Our kitchen looks like crap". I remodel kitchen myself and save us thousands. "You haven't finished the backsplash in forever, it looks like crap". Well, I hadn't because you said you were tired of house projects for a while. Proceed to do backsplash in great quality and record time. "Why'd we spend all that money on the backsplash."

That's a lack of respect plain and simple. And it came from our parents. My parents were like that and from what I hear sometimes hers too. So, the behavior has precedence.

But, it comes in very brief spurts. Not constant. The rest of our time is almost always well communicative, collaborative, and loving.
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Re: E'rybody hate on daddy [BCtriguy1] [ In reply to ]
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Quote:
I wish she could clearly make a plan of "these are my 5 year priorities,this is what needs to be done to reach those, these are the things I realize I will need to cut back on to make that happen". Instead, to her, everything is of equal value, no one area of life gets the attention it needs, and nothing really moves forward.

Why not write out a plan together? I wish I had a few years ago. Would have saved on some headache along the way of what I thought was understood vs reality.

"I think I've cracked the code. double letters are cheaters except for perfect squares (a, d, i, p and y). So Leddy isn't a cheater... "
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Re: E'rybody hate on daddy [Leddy] [ In reply to ]
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We have, but, hers aren't really based on reality.

We have family goals like to own another rental, or, rent our whole house out and by another house as primary resident.

We have rec goals, like to go to Italy, and visit her family in Australia.

We want to have another kid.

We want to put some money in to our current house to make it more livable.

She wants to get her master's (which I fully support).

In my mind, you organize those goals, prioritize them, and make a plan to achieve those things. We can't do all those things in the next few years. We don't have the time, money, or energy to expend. So we need to pick and choose.

In her mind, they are all equally prioritized. Then she gets frustrated when some of those plans don't become reality, as if they would happen naturally just by plodding along on the same course.

It's a very ongoing discussion. =)

Long Chile was a silly place.
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Re: E'rybody hate on daddy [BCtriguy1] [ In reply to ]
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BCtriguy1 wrote:

In her mind, they are all equally prioritized. Then she gets frustrated when some of those plans don't become reality, as if they would happen naturally just by plodding along on the same course.

It's a very ongoing discussion. =)

I can relate.

We made a plan to do a nice family trip every other year. And something more local in the off years.

Suddenly "why don't the kids and I visit XXX place since I just got some extra time off from the school. You can't make it from work/vacation days, but we can go" Me: "well, we planned on a bigger trip every other year and we're already doing the beach this year."

Then comes complaining about spending money on this or that and why they can't go.
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Re: E'rybody hate on daddy [burnthesheep] [ In reply to ]
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Can someone have Koalabear read this thread pls.
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