I have the same issue. Buy bulk dextrose and non dairy protein and weigh it out to the ratio you want, shake, and enjoy. I used egg protein but now use beef protein isolate (kinda gross?) by carnivor. Its also cheaper. I made probably 20 pounds a year this way for my team.

Granted I'm sure you said that in jest, alcohol will actually impair post-exercise protein synthesis.


To the OP. I'm assuming this is due to a "dairy" issue.
Do you know if it is Lactose, Casein or Whey that bothers you?

For consideration; most "protein shakes" have the lactase enzyme added, and my personal allergy is to casein, which means that I'm fine consuming things with only Whey protein (The majority of endurance focused protein supplments (Ultragen etc).

If looking for an alternative to dairy: Soy immediately after exercise as it's very fast absorbing and Egg-white prior to bed as it's slower absorbing. Rice, Oat, Wheat, Hemp and Pea protein just aren't worth it due to amino acid and bio availability profiles.

I typically buy in bulk (BulkSupplements.com) and make my own shakes. Beware that egg can be hard to work with and an immersion blender is best.

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I use this and it seems to work okay. I have problems with Whey Protein. The taste is minimally offensive.

https://www.thorne.com/products/dp/vegalite-chocolate-SP672

It's more work than using powder but I make a big smoothie with water, kale or spinach, a banana, berries, chia seeds, ground, flax seeds, and hemp protein power. Gets me in that 3-4 carb/protein range. Takes me about 3 mins to make and clean up the blender. I make it the night before my workout so after I'm done I just go to the fridge and it's good to go.