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Re: Has money ever ended a friendship? [BLeP] [ In reply to ]
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BLeP wrote:
axlsix3 wrote:
I have a group of co-workers that would sometime go out to lunch together. In one instance, 4 of us went out and all ordered the same thing (burger, fries & coke) with the exception of 'Lisa', who only had burger & fries. When the bill came out I suggested we split it 4 ways. 'Lisa' objected and said she should pay $1.50 less since she didn't have a coke. 'Lisa' hasn't been invited back to group lunches.


I get the cheap factor here but some people can get carried away with "let just split it evenly". My wife had a couple of friends who she would go out with. They would both order 2-3 glasses of wine with dinner and insist on appetizers. My wife would usually order water to drink. Their orders were routinely about $30 more than my wifes. And they would say "oh lets just split it". Not wanting to look cheap the wife would pony up.

Now my wife just asks for a separate bill right at the beginning.

Bunch of friends went to Charleston for a Friday to Sunday golf trip, fly in Friday about noon, play 18, hit hotel, play 36 on Sat and another 18 on Sunday morning before flying out. 4 different courses. Great friend from high school all through the round Friday afternoon said how we were just going to split dinner evenly and he was ordering lobster and steak and making us pay for it. Would then bust out laughing. Dinner rolls around and sure enough he starts ordering top shelf gin and tonics, apps, and surf-n-turf. There were 8 of us so maybe we each paid $15 more than we should have otherwise. Kicker is, he gets so stinking drunk, he doesn't leave his hotel room rest of weekend and barely makes it to airport. Misses out on 3 rounds of golf he had already paid for and the rest of the fun of the weekend. It was worth $15 just to give him shit the last 15 years....

I think that was also the weekend I ended up in some X bar with a pregnant chick....
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Re: Has money ever ended a friendship? [H-] [ In reply to ]
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H- wrote:
Leddy wrote:
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I even resorted to secretly telling the server to sneak the check to me or I give the server my credit card before the bill arrives.


For this scenario I have my CC in menu and ask the waiter about something on there. Holding the menu so he can see the card. I then give him the menu with card. The other guests never see it coming. They can only beat you to the bill by giving CC to the waiter when you arrive.

Some of the groups of friends we have all like to pay the bill. So it's a game / fight to pay.

I also enjoy the Russian roulette of throw the CC's in a hat and let the server pick who pays.

What if someone in the group orders desert to go?

I shame them on the spot !

"I think I've cracked the code. double letters are cheaters except for perfect squares (a, d, i, p and y). So Leddy isn't a cheater... "
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Re: Has money ever ended a friendship? - Second UPDATE on Page 4 (got the money) [JSA] [ In reply to ]
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Had a friend like that. Gave him a place to stay for 2 weeks at a time to just train in an unreal coveted place for free & he did the same at his races with other friends as well. Often, he would have a well to do girlfiend and other people strategically in places he liked to train who were "connectors" (a network he compiled) that would hook him up. We'd go on a long training day and go out to eat or say "Where are we going to eat tonight?" He wouldn't have any input because he would say he had no money and was going to eat supplements. We would feel bad for him and either a) not go out and cook something at home at our expense b) if away at a race for example, we would all feel bad and someone would buy his dinner. It was a mooch way of life & he still is doing it. Myself & another friend cut him off & pretty much ended the relationships. We had our own future to look out for, being part of the network to provide for his just didn't sit well with us. Friends help friends but it isn't meant to be a constant "taking advantage of others" situation. Needless to say, while I remain cordial whenever we cross paths, I'm well aware of the poor athlete bit & guard against the tricks I've seen in the past & avoid social outings with the individual best I can.
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Re: Has money ever ended a friendship? [Perseus] [ In reply to ]
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Perseus wrote:
axlsix3 wrote:
I have a group of co-workers that would sometime go out to lunch together. In one instance, 4 of us went out and all ordered the same thing (burger, fries & coke) with the exception of 'Lisa', who only had burger & fries. When the bill came out I suggested we split it 4 ways. 'Lisa' objected and said she should pay $1.50 less since she didn't have a coke. 'Lisa' hasn't been invited back to group lunches.


I'm on the other end of the spectrum. Last week I went out with a few co-workers for happy hour. When the bill came and someone suggested we split if four ways I offered to pay more because I had two drinks and some people only had one.

That reminds me another story. My wife and I had went out to dinner with another couple for the first time. The other couple was drinking $25 glasses of wine while my wife and I had the house red. I was kind of ticked off when they suggested splitting the bill but I didn't say anything.

I'd like to think that most people are like you in this regards but I've been proven wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong again.
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Re: Has money ever ended a friendship? - Second UPDATE on Page 4 (got the money) [Rocky M] [ In reply to ]
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Rocky M wrote:
Had a friend like that. Gave him a place to stay for 2 weeks at a time to just train in an unreal coveted place for free & he did the same at his races with other friends as well. Often, he would have a well to do girlfiend and other people strategically in places he liked to train who were "connectors" (a network he compiled) that would hook him up. We'd go on a long training day and go out to eat or say "Where are we going to eat tonight?" He wouldn't have any input because he would say he had no money and was going to eat supplements. We would feel bad for him and either a) not go out and cook something at home at our expense b) if away at a race for example, we would all feel bad and someone would buy his dinner. It was a mooch way of life & he still is doing it. Myself & another friend cut him off & pretty much ended the relationships. We had our own future to look out for, being part of the network to provide for his just didn't sit well with us. Friends help friends but it isn't meant to be a constant "taking advantage of others" situation. Needless to say, while I remain cordial whenever we cross paths, I'm well aware of the poor athlete bit & guard against the tricks I've seen in the past & avoid social outings with the individual best I can.

Your friend should set up a GoFundMe account so people can sponsor his racing. Maybe even post it in the main forum so people there can help.


I'm sure the main forum would love to offer advice.
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Post deleted by windschatten [ In reply to ]
Re: Has money ever ended a friendship? [windschatten] [ In reply to ]
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windschatten wrote:
bluemonkeytri wrote:
BLeP wrote:
axlsix3 wrote:
I have a group of co-workers that would sometime go out to lunch together. In one instance, 4 of us went out and all ordered the same thing (burger, fries & coke) with the exception of 'Lisa', who only had burger & fries. When the bill came out I suggested we split it 4 ways. 'Lisa' objected and said she should pay $1.50 less since she didn't have a coke. 'Lisa' hasn't been invited back to group lunches.


I get the cheap factor here but some people can get carried away with "let just split it evenly". My wife had a couple of friends who she would go out with. They would both order 2-3 glasses of wine with dinner and insist on appetizers. My wife would usually order water to drink. Their orders were routinely about $30 more than my wifes. And they would say "oh lets just split it". Not wanting to look cheap the wife would pony up.

Now my wife just asks for a separate bill right at the beginning.


Bunch of friends went to Charleston for a Friday to Sunday golf trip, fly in Friday about noon, play 18, hit hotel, play 36 on Sat and another 18 on Sunday morning before flying out. 4 different courses. Great friend from high school all through the round Friday afternoon said how we were just going to split dinner evenly and he was ordering lobster and steak and making us pay for it. Would then bust out laughing. Dinner rolls around and sure enough he starts ordering top shelf gin and tonics, apps, and surf-n-turf. There were 8 of us so maybe we each paid $15 more than we should have otherwise. Kicker is, he gets so stinking drunk, he doesn't leave his hotel room rest of weekend and barely makes it to airport. Misses out on 3 rounds of golf he had already paid for and the rest of the fun of the weekend. It was worth $15 just to give him shit the last 15 years....

I think that was also the weekend I ended up in some X bar with a pregnant chick....


Sounds like fun times.

You sure nobody slipped him a roofie when he decided to do that on the second meal?

I would consider it.

That wasn't the first, or the last, time he drank himself into oblivion the first night on a trip.
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Re: Has money ever ended a friendship? [Kay Serrar] [ In reply to ]
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Kay Serrar wrote:
I've lent friends money twice. Five figures worth. In those cases I drew up a contract and they paid interest. Happily they both repaid me on time. The only time someone asked me for a couple hundred bucks to pay rent I gave it to them and, as I'd expected, never saw it again.

This /\/\/\. I do business with friends--we own properties, go into investments, etc together. Even lend or borrow depending on who participates in what. But there is always a contract. There is always collateral. There is always above-market interest involved. And doing it that way has never made $$ between friends an issue. I've found (and I work in high-risk lending) that the bigger risks are the little ones: the friend or business partner who needs $100-500k is usually a much lower risk than the guy who needs $5k on a handshake. But it depends on where someone is at a certain point in their life.

JSA I thought you handled that perfectly. If he is that good of a guy (meaning great to be around), then actually approaching the rest of the group with the past & asking them if they all want to sponsor him along isn't a bad investment, from a have-fun POV. There might even be the opportunity for some life/financial advice with open dialogue: not everyone has the smart-money gene.

I've got a friend who is B rich. When he invites us to go heli skiing or to a fishing lodge in Canada the invite isn't with a "it will cost xyz per person". He just has FU money & wants to hang. It doesn't get in the way at all. Though we do end up being a bit of his bitch for the week, as he certainly doesn't do the dishes or anything like that....but I'm pretty sure he doesn't do the dishes anywhere else, ever......

____________
"There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs." John Rogers
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Re: Has money ever ended a friendship? [pots4] [ In reply to ]
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pots4 wrote:
...have another one about a guy I play hockey with who took me for 1,700....which is nothing because he owes other guys in the skate over 10k, I wish they had spoken up about it because had I known I never would have lent him the 1,700-"just until the end of the month" 18 months ago...[/quote]
UPDATE:
Skated last night, Mr $1700 who has been avoiding me for 18 months skates over and says, "hey, I have your money in the locker-room"...I almost fell over, and sure enough after the skate, a shower, and a beer I walk to the room he is in and he hands me $1750 in cash...I say thanks, stick it in my pocket and walk out quickly-as I know he still owes the other guys significantly more than he just paid me back...
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Re: Has money ever ended a friendship? [pots4] [ In reply to ]
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pots4 wrote:
pots4 wrote:
...have another one about a guy I play hockey with who took me for 1,700....which is nothing because he owes other guys in the skate over 10k, I wish they had spoken up about it because had I known I never would have lent him the 1,700-"just until the end of the month" 18 months ago...


UPDATE:
Skated last night, Mr $1700 who has been avoiding me for 18 months skates over and says, "hey, I have your money in the locker-room"...I almost fell over, and sure enough after the skate, a shower, and a beer I walk to the room he is in and he hands me $1750 in cash...I say thanks, stick it in my pocket and walk out quickly-as I know he still owes the other guys significantly more than he just paid me back...[/quote]
That's cool. If he remembered the money he owes you, maybe he'll remember the other guys too. Either way, I'm sure it was a sweet surprise to get the money.
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Re: Has money ever ended a friendship? [Perseus] [ In reply to ]
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That reminds me another story. My wife and I had went out to dinner with another couple for the first time. The other couple was drinking $25 glasses of wine while my wife and I had the house red. I was kind of ticked off when they suggested splitting the bill but I didn't say anything.[/quote]
My brother cut ties with a college friend who pulls something like this every year. "Ken" has become CFO of a Jacksonville company, drives a Maserati, hangs with Tim Tebow at charity events, etc. And likes to gather with his 3 college buddies for a NFL game destination weekend once a season (my brother and 2 others).

Last year, they hit Charlotte, and Ken suggested what might be the spendiest restaurant there. Ken orders surf and turf ($70), and $50 bottles of wine. The other 3 guys just order chicken Caesar salads, burgers, etc.

Final bill is well up in triple-digit territory and Ken quickly tells the waitress "we'll just split it evenly"

After multiple years of this kind of stuff, they're over it.
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Re: Has money ever ended a friendship? - Second UPDATE on Page 4 (got the money) [JSA] [ In reply to ]
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A little late to the party, but did he find someone to mooch off of for future Rallys?

------------------------------
The first time man split the atom was when the atom tried to hold Jens Voigt's wheel, but cracked.
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Re: Has money ever ended a friendship? [JSA] [ In reply to ]
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JSA wrote:
Ha! I feel guilty when someone else picks up the check. Cannot imagine being comfortable doing what this guy has done for years.

I can't imagine not paying. I think that's dishonorable. I have a group of friends and we have an annual fishing trip. I think I'm going to skip this year as I don't feel comfortable spending the money right now (finished grad school/internship and looking for a job).
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Re: Has money ever ended a friendship? - Second UPDATE on Page 4 (got the money) [BigDig] [ In reply to ]
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BigDig wrote:
A little late to the party, but did he find someone to mooch off of for future Rallys?

He showed up last year. He got a single room in the lodge, so, he was on his own. We saw him a couple times, but he spent most of the time running with another group. We said hello and had some brief conversations, but he mostly kept his distance.

It’s coming up again in April. On social media, he indicated he will be there again staying in the lodge.

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. - Will Rogers

Emery's Third Coast Triathlon | Tri Wisconsin Triathlon Team | Push Endurance | GLWR
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