Possibly a role... but they should have *zero* responsibility/accountability.

Only in America...

Unfortunately.

I agree to some extent. In an extreme case, if your child were relentlessly bullied, either online or physically, and tragically took their life, would you still feel that those who bullied had zero responsibility? Here in Oz there isn’t much a bullied person can do so they might take their own life. Bully wins. In the States the bullied have more opportunity to say FU and take others out. In this extreme case others may have played a part. ‘Victim’ feels like they won.

Winding it back to the isolation aspect I agree that there’s little to no responsibility. But if students recognise loneliness then perhaps better training them to perform simple acts of reaching out (saying hi, smiling) rather than ignoring, could go a long way perhaps?

Firsr off, after doing my time in the US public school system recently, I feel qualified to comment on this. We need a lot more kindness in our schools. I’m not asking everyone to be best pals with everyone else. And i’m not saying it’s even the students responsibility- it would just be a nice thing to do as a nice human.

However, that being said...

Maybe part of the issue is that many parents, and the current crop of adults that are in the position of raising the current young people of our society, aren’t raising the kids to be able to deal with hardships in the right way.

For most of my childhood, like many people before me, and i’m sure to come after me, I didn’t have many friends. And many of the “friends” that I thought I had were complete garbage. Especially in elementary school and middle school. But I was raised in such a way that I knew healthy outlets for my frustration, how to try to fix the problems I felt I had, and to talk to people who I felt comfortable around to tell them how I was feeling. My parents didn’t coddle me about it. They didn’t send letters complaining to the school, or parents of other kids.

I’m usually a very loud advocate for the current gen (whatever letter we’re on now) and millennial generation. I feel like we get a very bad rap passed on us. And while articulating this argument to someone just this week, I was told that I was bashing millennials. I don’t intend to. I simply believe that the helicopter parent who can’t see little Joey or Sally go through one hardship in their life are setting their kids up for failure. I would hope it’s a small failure, like yelling at someone or throwing a fit, and not going to more extreme, violent measures, but I strongly believe that the current method of parenting is at least partially responsible for the way many young individuals behave.

I guess to sum it up, I want kids to be nicer. I’ll never not hope that. I also believe that parents should take a nice hard look at the costs and benefits of protecting their little baby 15 year old’s feelings at all costs.

But meh, what do I know.

Times have changed. 50 years ago if we got into trouble in school, we hoped our parents wouldn't find out because then we'd get a second whipping at home. I teach in a public school now, and I'll get phone calls and emails from parents asking, "Why did you scold little Arnold in class today? I'm not happy that you were mean to him!" Some parents suck at being parents.

Back to the original question, it would be great if students would report a classmate who is a threat to themselves or to others. That's a lot to expect given peer pressure and the fear of being considered a snitch. However, some students do report potentially dangerous behavior. This needs to be encouraged and supported.

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"Human existence is based upon two pillars: Compassion and knowledge. Compassion without knowledge is ineffective; Knowledge without compassion is inhuman." Victor Weisskopf.

They play a huge role. A few years ago I supervised several school resource deputies that worked in our area high schools. The students were a direct source for stopping shootings and intervening in the lives of fellow students who were going through mental health issues etc. . We handpicked deputies for this position. They had to be the type that can communicate and build relationships with the students. We were very very successful and many interventions based solely on students going to these deputies and tipping them off.

While the deputies worked at the schools each day, I worked with the school administration on the training side for staff and faculty. After this shooting I contacted one of my district peers and asked her how it was going. She told me that a student had gone to one of the SRO's right after the Florida shooting and expressed her concerns about something another student had placed on a social media site. The SRO ran with it and paid the family a visit late that night. They found multiple guns in the house and convinced the family to surrender them. It was another case of oblivious mentally absentee parents who knew nothing really about their son.

This scenario can be repeated at nearly every school district in the U.S. Sadly, the students have to be used as intel. If you have good SRO's who the students like and trust,,,it's a snap,,,they'll snitch off their peers in a heart beat.

Excellent! thanks for this

/r

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Steve

Part of me feels like times might be changing again.
I'm one of the older millennials. Born in '83, graduated in 2001. Grew up without the internet and cell phones, right on the cusp of it though. Maybe 2 kids my senior year had cell phones in school. I now have a 6 month old daughter.

I have noticed, in talking with new parents around my age, a strong desire to not coddle their kids and an awareness of how important it is to teach them how to deal with adversity themselves and gain their own confidence in life. However, juggling that with the new reality of 24/7 bullying thanks to social media and problems that are more "in your face" for kids to deal with - things we never had to contend with - is a real challenge. Certainly we wont go back to school teachers whoopin' the kids then parents whoopin' them again when they get home, but I think, I hope, we can focus on letting kids hash things out and problem solve for themselves. Be a guiding hand, rather then the snow plow clearing the path entirely, as they make their way through childhood.

As for your second paragraph, I agree. Also, I agree with Koala that it is on kids to learn how to "be nicer" or at least recognize isolating behaviour. When someone is getting picked on in school, it now means that kid is getting picked on every moment they are attached to a device that has social media - bullies know how to use instagram, snapchat, etc. I think this kind of behaviour needs to be looked at much closer and I think it's up to the kids to recognize and report that - and parents to teach them how and why it is important to do that and not go along with the mob behaviour.

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Long Chile was a silly place.

That is incredible!

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Long Chile was a silly place.

If a bullied kid commits suicide, that's a tragedy.

If a bullied kid goes out, legally buys an AR-15 & body armor, and shoots up the school, there's some bigger questions that need to be addressed.