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Re: How to stop a bully? [RangerGress] [ In reply to ]
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25 posts to get here. Damn.

Put your kid in jiu jitsu, or wrestling if you’re in the Midwest. Talk to him, let him know that you have his back if he needs to get physical.

Make the consequences for messing with your kid severe and he won’t get messed with.

******************************
If I don't, who will? -Me
It's like being bipolar in opinion is a requirement around here. -TripleThreat
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Re: How to stop a bully? [lunchbox] [ In reply to ]
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lunchbox wrote:
25 posts to get here. Damn.

Put your kid in jiu jitsu, or wrestling if you’re in the Midwest. Talk to him, let him know that you have his back if he needs to get physical.

Make the consequences for messing with your kid severe and he won’t get messed with.

In general I'm not opposed to this but the kid is 5. This is too young and likely wouldn't work anyway. I have a 6 year old and couldn't imagine trying to have this conversation with him to where he understood when its ok and not ok to punch a kid.
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Re: How to stop a bully? [Uncle Arqyle] [ In reply to ]
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My 5 year old is in kindergarten.

“Hey little buddy- you should always be good to other kids. But if somebody ever hits you, you tell them to stop. If they do it again, you can hit back until they go away. You won’t be in trouble with me.” He’s generally a nice kid, and funny, but doesn’t take any shit. Being the youngest may have something to do with that.

My 3rd grader understands that he can defend himself and I have his back. He also understands that if he were the aggressor/bully he’d be in deep shit. He’s a friendly kid and not a dick to others. He’s become very physical as a soccer defender, and has no problem taking a kid down, mounting, and throwing an arm bar in class.

My 9th grade daughter knew this and knocked a kid a year or two younger than her on his ass when he messed with her little brother on the playground a few years ago. I told her I was proud of her for looking out for her brother.

Defend yourself, defend your family. Anybody messes with your siblings and you all pile in. Mom and Dad have your back.

******************************
If I don't, who will? -Me
It's like being bipolar in opinion is a requirement around here. -TripleThreat
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Re: How to stop a bully? [lunchbox] [ In reply to ]
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lunchbox wrote:
My 5 year old is in kindergarten.

“Hey little buddy- you should always be good to other kids. But if somebody ever hits you, you tell them to stop. If they do it again, you can hit back until they go away. You won’t be in trouble with me.” He’s generally a nice kid, and funny, but doesn’t take any shit. Being the youngest may have something to do with that.

My 3rd grader understands that he can defend himself and I have his back. He also understands that if he were the aggressor/bully he’d be in deep shit. He’s a friendly kid and not a dick to others. He’s become very physical as a soccer defender, and has no problem taking a kid down, mounting, and throwing an arm bar in class.

My 9th grade daughter knew this and knocked a kid a year or two younger than her on his ass when he messed with her little brother on the playground a few years ago. I told her I was proud of her for looking out for her brother.

Defend yourself, defend your family. Anybody messes with your siblings and you all pile in. Mom and Dad have your back.

I have a kindergartner and a 3rd grader as well. Both boys. The 6 year old would rationalize this allowance of hitting into doing it whenever he felt justified. He's also the biggest in his class by a mile and if some kid hit him he would throttle the kid. This might be from him having an older brother, nevertheless, I would pity a classmate that attempted to hit him. Fortunately he was just awarded a prize for playing with everyone being one of the nicest kids in the class.

My 3rd grader. I have no problem with the conversation and having him to this.
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Re: How to stop a bully? [Uncle Arqyle] [ In reply to ]
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Uncle Arqyle wrote:
lunchbox wrote:
25 posts to get here. Damn.

Put your kid in jiu jitsu, or wrestling if you’re in the Midwest. Talk to him, let him know that you have his back if he needs to get physical.

Make the consequences for messing with your kid severe and he won’t get messed with.


In general I'm not opposed to this but the kid is 5. This is too young and likely wouldn't work anyway. I have a 6 year old and couldn't imagine trying to have this conversation with him to where he understood when its ok and not ok to punch a kid.

Yeah but in jiu jitsu or wrestling you're not punching. If a kid learned BJJ or wrestling it allows him to get away or harm the bully without using punches. It's very unlikely your 5 year old is going to run around doing takedowns on everyone.

My 5 year old is fortunately not being bullied, but I went ahead and enrolled him into a BJJ class to give him options should he start getting bullied. I also would rather start him early, because he's not going to instantly turn into Royce Gracie after the first class. It's going to take a while before it translates.
Last edited by: matt_cycles: Jan 24, 18 14:39
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Re: How to stop a bully? [matt_cycles] [ In reply to ]
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Bullying takes many forms. Most of the forms the OP is discussing are not physical in a manner that these things would "defend". In fact if they were implemented they would be seen as offensive
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Re: How to stop a bully? [original] [ In reply to ]
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//One final note, if you or wife can volunteer at the school, do it. You want the school teachers and staff to know and like you.//

This is excellent advice and I highly recommend it. My kids are past this point in life (thankfully) but we've dealt with various issues throughout the years with school kids, teachers, etc. When my eldest was in kindergarten, she was at a school and she repeated to us some language and described some behavior of a boy in her class that was highly inappropriate. My wife volunteered two days later to see what was going on and we pulled our kid out of that school the next day and found an awesome place for her to attend elementary.
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Re: How to stop a bully? [original] [ In reply to ]
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Back when my daughter was in 8th grade she was bullied by a boy (small kid who needed to feel bigger). She came home informing me that he was saying rude nasty things to her. I went through the motions of asking whether or not any teacher had heard him. She replied, "No."

I told her that when she was certain no one else was present, to tell him that if he continued to bother her, she would stuff his tiny ass into his locker. Then follow with... "When we get to HS next year, you'll spend forever being the little boy who got stuffed into a locker by a girl."

She came home the next day and just winked at me. I never heard another word about him.
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