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Re: I'm exhausted, I barely see my husband, the house is a mess. How do you manage it all? [Midtown Miles] [ In reply to ]
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unfortunately I don't have good advice. others have posted things i do but in the end... yesterday while out of town for a race I got an "I'm sorry but I moved out" email. no conversation. no 'hey I need some things to change'. after 4.5 years, just 'this isn't the relationship I'm looking for'. maybe my contribution to this thread is to be sure the lines of communication are kept open, in both directions.

To breathe, to feel, to know I'm alive.
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Re: I'm exhausted, I barely see my husband, the house is a mess. How do you manage it all? [Tsunami] [ In reply to ]
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Wow, that really sucks. Hang in there.
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Re: I'm exhausted, I barely see my husband, the house is a mess. How do you manage it all? [Tsunami] [ In reply to ]
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Oh wow. So sorry that happened to you and how cowardly to sneak out like that instead of talking to you.
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Re: I'm exhausted, I barely see my husband, the house is a mess. How do you manage it all? [Tsunami] [ In reply to ]
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alexxm21 wrote:
If 24 hours are too few to do everything you want to do, you're trying to do too much.
Thank you for these words -- I've been thinking about them all week. My car finally died last week and I had to give up a lot of training due to car shopping and not having transportation to the gym. This helped me from getting angry with myself about something I have little control over.

Tsunami wrote:
unfortunately I don't have good advice. others have posted things i do but in the end... yesterday while out of town for a race I got an "I'm sorry but I moved out" email. no conversation. no 'hey I need some things to change'. after 4.5 years, just 'this isn't the relationship I'm looking for'. maybe my contribution to this thread is to be sure the lines of communication are kept open, in both directions.
Sorry to hear this. =(

http://mediocremultisport.blogspot.com
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Re: I'm exhausted, I barely see my husband, the house is a mess. How do you manage it all? [Midtown Miles] [ In reply to ]
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i live in a country where a maid is considered an obligation to society so yeah, we have a maid. i also am the worker and DH is the SAH dad. he sucks at it.

so, when I was a SAH and i had many kids in diapers, etc. i did once a week cooking. i'd cook sat and/or sunday for at least the week if not two. so those were dinners. get a food processor to do veggie prep (slicing, chopping) and freeze it for a different meal. always cook 2 meals at a time and put the 2nd one in the freezer. use teh crockpot a LOT.

http://harvestmoon6.blogspot.com


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Re: I'm exhausted, I barely see my husband, the house is a mess. How do you manage it all? [mdraegerpnw] [ In reply to ]
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mdraegerpnw wrote:

� We break up the cleaning into 15 minute increments and try to do them daily. It's amazing how much you can get done in 15 minutes and it really makes a difference if you can keep it going. Generally, the spouse in training will miss a few of these, but it keeps the spouse that isn't training from being solely responsible for everything, which definitely gets old.

I'll also add a "me too" to the poster who commented that we do this for fun, as a hobby. Sometimes, it feels like the training is the most important thing, but it's really not. If taking a day off once in a while will make the rest of your life better, do it. Ultimately, you'll be a better athlete if the rest of your life isn't constantly stressing you out.

M

this is GOLD. when i'm going to the bathroom (TIM?) i'm cleaning the sink. when i'm doing throwing in laundry i sweep the floor. cooking dinner? sweep floor, organize a cupboard. etc. multitask your tasks and take that 15 minutes to do some cleaning. it is really amazing how much you can do in 15 minutes.

http://harvestmoon6.blogspot.com


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Re: I'm exhausted, I barely see my husband, the house is a mess. How do you manage it all? [kathy_caribe] [ In reply to ]
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BINGO.

------------------------
"How bad could it be?" - SimpleS
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Re: I'm exhausted, I barely see my husband, the house is a mess. How do you manage it all? [Midtown Miles] [ In reply to ]
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Car shopping, makes cleaning the toilet look like fun.
Off topic, I know, but what kind of car did you get?

Karen ST Concierge
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Re: I'm exhausted, I barely see my husband, the house is a mess. How do you manage it all? [STConcierge] [ In reply to ]
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STConcierge wrote:
Car shopping, makes cleaning the toilet look like fun.
Off topic, I know, but what kind of car did you get?
Ha! You're telling me. I bought a Ford Focus Titanium hatchback. To be honest, I haven't even tried to fit my bike in the hatch yet, but I needed a car and liked it a lot, so I figured if it didn't fit I'd come up with something later. I was driving an old jeep so you can imagine I am loving all my new toys. I've never even had power windows before, let alone a backup camera.

http://mediocremultisport.blogspot.com
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Re: I'm exhausted, I barely see my husband, the house is a mess. How do you manage it all? [Midtown Miles] [ In reply to ]
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Cool. I am sure the bike will fit.
Ohhh, bluetooth, air con, power locks and windows.... the fun never stops!
Share some photos when you get a chance!

Karen ST Concierge
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Re: I'm exhausted, I barely see my husband, the house is a mess. How do you manage it all? [Midtown Miles] [ In reply to ]
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it will fit. may or may not have to take the front wheel off.
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Re: I'm exhausted, I barely see my husband, the house is a mess. How do you manage it all? [STConcierge] [ In reply to ]
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Not sure if this image will work... I haven't tried to fit in my bike yet but there is plenty of room in the trunk for my swim bag, run bag, lunch bag and work bag.

http://mediocremultisport.blogspot.com
Last edited by: Midtown Miles: Jun 19, 15 11:08
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Re: I'm exhausted, I barely see my husband, the house is a mess. How do you manage it all? [Midtown Miles] [ In reply to ]
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Great thread. I'll chime in -- 2 kids under age of 12, work full-time as a research professor, married to a guy who races his bike, training for my second full distance tri. My solution -- accept that a LOT of stuff goes half-assed. In other words, I DON'T manage it all ;) I also now appreciate that things go in cycles -- the last 2 months got crazy, but not every single week was crazy (because of the periodization stuff). I'll back way off after my race and probably won't train at this intensity until next spring (if I decide to do another full). I blew off a lot of stuff in the work realm recently that I'll get right back on top of after my race. So I guess my perspective is that life emphases can shift depending on lots of stuff - the races you sign up for, work demands, etc. I love the variability this introduces into my life! I love it all - including the chaos and intensity during different periods. Getting sleep is probably my number one thing that I don't negotiate. Great suggestions here for other stuff including the housecleaner and cooking in large batches.
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Re: I'm exhausted, I barely see my husband, the house is a mess. How do you manage it all? [Jyanda] [ In reply to ]
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I could not agree more ... I find sometimes skipping a workout and feeling more 'rested' actually helps me improve more quickly. Quality of quantity when it comes to workouts!
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Re: I'm exhausted, I barely see my husband, the house is a mess. How do you manage it all? [Midtown Miles] [ In reply to ]
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I think we've all been there. Throw kids into the mix!
I negotiated with my assistant to come into work at 9am two days a week, and that seemed to change my life. I also found that the balance that training gave me made me more efficient in my work day, and I've been better at my job since then. The other thing I did was make Sunday my off day. I do my long run on Friday, long ride on Saturday, and then I can go out to dinner Saturday night, sleep in on Sunday and do "couple" things or now "family things."

Just put your head down and get it done! Good luck!
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Re: I'm exhausted, I barely see my husband, the house is a mess. How do you manage it all? [Midtown Miles] [ In reply to ]
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I figured I would check in with an update. =) We have had a cleaning service come and do the bathroom a few times now. It's not as good a job as when I do it, but it's good enough, at least for tri season! Honestly, that is a much bigger relief that I could have expected. We also have the dogwalkers coming twice a week now, which helps me feel a little less guilty about the limited time I have with the mutts.

Right now there is a gigantic pile of clean laundry in the bedroom waiting to be folded and dishes in the dishwasher waiting to be put away, but at least we have clean dishes and clothes, so...

The condo is generally a disaster but as long as the clutter is contained and the trash gets taken out occasionally I try not to care too much. Sweeping up dog fur is a losing battle anyway. I've become a wee bit better at streamlining meals -- I have been cooking/prepping the next day's breakfast and lunch as I make dinner.

If nothing else, my big race is less than six weeks away and I can catch up then.

http://mediocremultisport.blogspot.com
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Re: I'm exhausted, I barely see my husband, the house is a mess. How do you manage it all? [Midtown Miles] [ In reply to ]
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Hey! It looks like you got a ton of great responses, but I wanted to share what our life has morphed into to accomodate training and general life. On sundays, I make enough oatmeal with brown sugar in individual containers to get me through the week. I make a quinoa, tomatoes, cheese and either meat or bean salad thing on Sundays as well and a box of quinoa usually gets me 6 frozen portions for lunches. So, the only thing I'm doing in the mornings other than making my son's breakfast are throwing my breakfast, lunch and snacks into a tote to get me through the day.

For cleaning, I do one thing a night and do one load of laundry per night. Tonight, for example, I'll vacuum downstairs. I never cook two nights in a row. I cook one night so we can have leftovers the next....I can only get them to eat the same thing twice. If there are more than two nights worth of food, I freeze it so we can reheat it one night the next week. I use the crockpot one night per week, which gets us through two nights and enough leftovers for one night the next week.

My long runs changed from out and backs to repeating a loop near our house so that I can run some of the loops with our dog and I can actually do a long run even if my husband is gone and my son is home alone. He just watches a movie/plays inside. I just don't let him have friends in the house while I'm not there to watch them. I do my hour long runs at lunch during work...it's a tough balance. I am sure you're doing a great job. Can you do one workout thing during your lunch hour? Hill repeats/running sprints, something. That really helps me feel not so crazy. Today, I ran at lunch, 90% humidity and all, then as soon as I leave work I am headed to the pool to crank out a workout quickly then get home. Anyway, best of luck in your upcoming race!!!
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Re: I'm exhausted, I barely see my husband, the house is a mess. How do you manage it all? [Midtown Miles] [ In reply to ]
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I agree with others who suggest getting a coach that can help you balance things. Or re-evaluate your training and try to find some efficiencies, for example do minimally a short run OTB after most rides, that might help you cut some of your running. As a mom of two young kids (20 months and 3 yo) who works full time, I find it is really about quality, not quantity. I have not done an IM since I had the kiddos but race up to half iron and probably average 6-8 hours a week, peaking at 10 hours and maximally 2 doubles a week (not counting bricks as I count those as one workout). With that training, while not maximizing performance (but it's about balance and again, just an AGer) I am racing in the sub 5 hour range for a 70.3. 15 hour training weeks is what I imagine I would peak at for an IM whenever I can get back into that distance.

Also, I don't count active recovery in the training hours, but roll out at least 3xs a week.

-Chris
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Re: I'm exhausted, I barely see my husband, the house is a mess. How do you manage it all? [Midtown Miles] [ In reply to ]
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I'm now at the "all you can do is laugh" stage...

We just had insulation blown into the walls. Since we live in a second-story condo they do it from the inside. Which means you pull EVERYTHING away from the walls (this included completely emptying my closet into a gigantic pile in the middle of the bedroom) so they can drill a hole in your wall, blow in the insulation, and patch it up.

My husband is having someone re-patch the walls today. Which means the entire condo is still coated with drywall dust. Everything is in gigantic piles. I can't use my kitchen. The dogs don't know which end is up. And now he's saying, "Well, since we have everything already away from the walls why don't we paint? And pick out new furniture?" One does not simply walk into Home Depot and leave with paint for the living room and bedroom!

I was upset about this yesterday but by today I'm like, "Well, I guess we live like frat boys for the next month." 30 days until race day. Whatever gets cleaned, gets cleaned before or after my 60-mile ride tomorrow and if it doesn't happen, too bad.

http://mediocremultisport.blogspot.com
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Re: I'm exhausted, I barely see my husband, the house is a mess. How do you manage it all? [Midtown Miles] [ In reply to ]
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Sounds like rolling with the punches is the only way to get through it unscathed. Keep smiling!!
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Re: I'm exhausted, I barely see my husband, the house is a mess. How do you manage it all? [Midtown Miles] [ In reply to ]
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I hear ya. Basically I do not get it all done - I typically can't fit in doubles on weekdays so I will get up and bike/swim/or run, get kids their breakfast, get ready for work, commute, work, then after work I commute home and spend time with the kids before they go to bed. Then I have a block of time from 9-11pm to do my social media, blogging, writing, organizing my calendar/to do list, or dishes or laundry. Then repeat the next day. I do have to skip 1 weekday a week in order to put away laundry instead of a morning workout, or sleep an extra hour if I have burned the candle too much at both ends. I really want to train for a full Ironman (I train for 70.3) but know that I'll have to restructure my life a bit differently in 2016 or 2017.

Also, I know that my race day expectations are going to be different than someone who has more time than I do.

My biggest sanity saver is a cleaning person every 2 weeks, and I don't tend to pack lunch unless I can quickly put leftovers in a container when we're cleaning up dinner. I do doc appointment scheduling and other phone calls or internet things (like booking flights for an upcoming trip, etc.) at my desk while I'm eating lunch, or the things that don't involve office hours such as doc appts I do at night after 9pm.

Good luck - it's such a juggling act and sometimes feels never ending!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cynthia
Blog: http://yousignedupforwhat.com/ Twitter: http://twitter.com/yousignedup FB: http://www.facebook.com/yousignedupforwhat IG: http://instagram.com/yousignedupforwhat
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