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mechanic taking too much interest
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Ucch -- need to vent . . . am going through some upgrades to my bike fit with a LBS mechanic who is ok but more importantly local. This guy is a replacement for another mechanic i much prefer (more methodical + organised shop floor, better rapport) but he's moved jobs and is 40 minutes away. The new one is starting to bug me -- has sent messages twice over weekend and once just now after hours asking about how I like new saddle (which is a loaner and he insists I keep on), how do the bars feel, etc. etc.

I have no problem with a professional taking an interest, that's great, but don't want to encourage out-of-shop communication. How to proceed? Ignore texts? Chill?
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Re: mechanic taking too much interest [kiki] [ In reply to ]
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I'm having somewhat of the same problem. Just moved, found a great bike shop told them I wanted to buy a bike so of course they called a couple times to see if I was coming back in, that's just general sales, but then they (really just one guy) called and asked if I needed anything done before i was off to IMFL, called to wish me good luck and remind me I had free tuneups if I ever needed one before a race, and then when I didn't race because I was sick sent me a text asking if I was okay. I'm just going to ignore the texts and next weekend when I have a friend in town drag him in to the store with me as my boyfriend.
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Re: mechanic taking too much interest [kiki] [ In reply to ]
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On the whole, men can be pretty dense...sometimes you have to hit us with a heavy object for us to say "oh, yeah, ok, I get it now".

That being said: you're in a client/vendor relationship with this guy, therefore I'd personally ignore any outside communications. If it's not relevant to the immediate bike service, then it shouldn't happen. He should really know better.

- JB
"There are only two days in a year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday, and the other is called tomorrow." - The Dalai Lama
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Re: mechanic taking too much interest [kiki] [ In reply to ]
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I'm watching this thread with some interest, because although I thought blackthugcat should simply ignore the LinkedIn messages from the guy she barely knew 20 years ago, I think if I were kiki (and also GhiaGirl) I'd say something polite but direct, because you do have a relationship with the mechanics/LBS that presumably you'd like to keep, but you want to set boundaries. I wouldn't just ignore their overstepping my boundaries. It can be a bit uncomfortable, but I think a face-to-face, "You know, I didn't answer your messages because in general I like to keep shop business in the shop, hope you understand" or in GhiaGirl's case, "I really appreciate that you're looking out for me, but I'm pretty busy, and I promise I'll call if I need you" is respectful and honest.
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Re: mechanic taking too much interest [Gee] [ In reply to ]
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I'm with GhiaGirl on borrowing a friendly male to take in and present as the 'boyfriend' - either that or return his text/call and casually pepper the conversation with frequent references to 'my boyfriend'.

That way no-one has to have a potentially awkward conversation, hopefully everyone can exit gracefully and most importantly, the professional relationship with the mechanic is preserved.

God almighty - it's almost easier to go back to hanging out in bars!! :-)
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Re: mechanic taking too much interest [Gee] [ In reply to ]
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Gee wrote:
I'm watching this thread with some interest, because although I thought blackthugcat should simply ignore the LinkedIn messages from the guy she barely knew 20 years ago, I think if I were kiki (and also GhiaGirl) I'd say something polite but direct, because you do have a relationship with the mechanics/LBS that presumably you'd like to keep, but you want to set boundaries. I wouldn't just ignore their overstepping my boundaries. It can be a bit uncomfortable, but I think a face-to-face, "You know, I didn't answer your messages because in general I like to keep shop business in the shop, hope you understand" or in GhiaGirl's case, "I really appreciate that you're looking out for me, but I'm pretty busy, and I promise I'll call if I need you" is respectful and honest.
This but I would omit using promise. I know that women do not like to come off as rude but shit, why is it so difficult to be direct by stating there is no interest? I have a job which surrounds me by all sorts of ill-minded men who come on to me. It is grosser than to so I simply tell them I am not there for that or there is no interest. They leave me alone forever.


_____________________________________
DISH is how we do it.
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Re: mechanic taking too much interest [kiki] [ In reply to ]
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he's moved jobs and is 40 minutes away.

I don't consider that too far to travel for a good mechanic. I used to travel 1.5 hrs for my wrench. Then he moved even farther. I must have run him off. :(

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Re: mechanic taking too much interest [kiki] [ In reply to ]
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Your mechanic sounds familiar.

Is this him?



How does Danny Hart sit down with balls that big?
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Re: mechanic taking too much interest [BLeP] [ In reply to ]
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:> I'm not in the States so don't recognise him BUT can safely say he's much taller, fitter and cleaner than my mechanic.
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Re: mechanic taking too much interest [kiki] [ In reply to ]
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*sigh* It's a Seinfeld reference. He's a mechanic that takes way too much interest.

How does Danny Hart sit down with balls that big?
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Re: mechanic taking too much interest [BLeP] [ In reply to ]
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in George? I'm in the States now, will have to watch for it on the Seinfeld channel.
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Re: mechanic taking too much interest [kiki] [ In reply to ]
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Don't respond to any of his texts. If you do, he might think...if I text her 100 times then she'll respond. The whole Dumb and Dumber....1 in a million so you're saying there's a chance thing.

Pick up a copy of the Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. I had some trouble with a neighbor being too friendly. It really helped me understand how some people think.

Also, as women, I think we can fall into the trap of....oh I really don't want to be rude or offend anyone. When sometimes the best thing to do is just say the truth without sugar coating.
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Re: mechanic taking too much interest [clairec2007] [ In reply to ]
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Upshot of the story . . . I got a long text this morning saying with regret I will have to depart as I am pursuing a new option . . . and I thought wtf because it wasn't signed and I had no idea who it was -- turned out to be the mechanic! He's gotten a new job, which is great. So I'm praying his replacement will be more skilled socially and mechanically. Thanks to all for your comments and advice. You'd think at 50-freaking-3 this kind of thing wouldn't be happening anyway -- but I guess that's what triathlon does for a lady :>
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Re: mechanic taking too much interest [kiki] [ In reply to ]
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Still hot at 53. Nice, and, way to go!
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Re: mechanic taking too much interest [kiki] [ In reply to ]
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A lot of women would be flattered by the attention. I want to say "relax" but apparently we're not supposed to say that to women any more.

The modern man is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. :-)
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Re: mechanic taking too much interest [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
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In ordinary circumstances this would be no biggie, but this guy in particular has had access to my bolts and cables. If I dissed him somehow, and he's squirrelly, maybe then something wouldn't get tightened quite enough? Rigggghhhhtttt?

This would make a fantastic plot for the triathlon mystery i've always wanted to write.

Anyway, I'm glad he's out of the shop.
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Re: mechanic taking too much interest [kiki] [ In reply to ]
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Looking at the mechanic from another perspective here.
Funny thing, I have swum, biked & run with the mechanic at my LTS. He seems to attract the crazies in his personal life, one of his training partners (now former) professed she had fallen in love with him & she's married, and told her husband. Then he goes on a run date with a gal he met at a race and within 10 mins of the end of the date she's texting him like crazy, including a pic with very little left to the imagination. I'm having trouble even trying to keep track of all the women and all the stories he's coming back from dates with. He has been told by one of his co-workers (boss's sister) that she needs to approve of any woman he decides to date, since he's been attracting the wrong types recently.
All in all he's a nice guy, but lucky for me I don't find him attractive at all (out of my comfortable age range & just not my type physically). :)

check out my blog http://theswimmingtriathlete.blogspot.com
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Re: mechanic taking too much interest [SDCali] [ In reply to ]
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haha he's obviously doing something right.

The replacement mechanic at my LBS didn't inspire a huge amount of confidence the other day when I walked in to get some tubes, started chatting with him about my bike (a specialized roubaix) and he asks 'which color is that one?'

I think I'll be making the trek out to the city to get my work done :>
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Re: mechanic taking too much interest [kiki] [ In reply to ]
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Ever listen to Cartalk? The hosts are retiring so it isn't around much longer but there was the opposite call the other day. A woman had an older car that she had gotten fixed up and kinda fallen for her mechanic (auto) so she kept breaking stuff to be able to go back until she got the nerve to ask him out. LOL!


Pete Githens
Reading, PA
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Re: mechanic taking too much interest [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
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cerveloguy wrote:
A lot of women would be flattered by the attention. I want to say "relax" but apparently we're not supposed to say that to women any more.

The modern man is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. :-)

Would have to agree with this...

Whatever happened to effectively communicating?
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Re: mechanic taking too much interest [ScrapIronSteve] [ In reply to ]
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ScrapIronSteve wrote:
cerveloguy wrote:
A lot of women would be flattered by the attention. I want to say "relax" but apparently we're not supposed to say that to women any more.

The modern man is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. :-)


Would have to agree with this...

Whatever happened to effectively communicating?

I agree totally that effective communication is the best way to go. However.

Here's a direct quote from this guy as I'm walking up the stairs in front of him from the basement shop. I'm wearing lycra running tights.

"How can you stand wearing panties when you ride?"

Sooooo if the guy is not the swiftest at effective communication, do you think he'll hear it coming from me? Honest question.
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Re: mechanic taking too much interest [kiki] [ In reply to ]
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I think that's a fair enough question.:-)

However I can understand your discomfort - you don't want a guy like that messing with your bike when he can't tell the difference between running tights and cycling knicks when his face is about a foot away from your butt..
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