I don't have an answer for you but I'm sorry for your loss.

Both of my grandmothers have passed. I loved them, but grew up far away and wasn't close to them.

I do think that everyone processes grief differently. Do what feels good to you and will honor your grandmother's memory.

I am so sorry for your loss. 18 months ago we lost my beautiful mother-in-law. She was an integral part of our family and we were shattered by the loss. I don't think you ever get over the death of someone you love, I think you just find a place to tuck it away in your heart. We were very lucky in that she lived a wonderful life with no regrets and she had no fear of death. We try and live our lives in a way that honours her memory and make sure we talk about her often. Time just allows you to find a new "normal" Once again, so sorry for you.

Well, honestly and from the heart, I don't think that people really die. Sometimes when I'm on my longest runs, or they're particularly challenging for whatever reason, that veil between this world and the "other one" gets very thin. I can sense the presence of my loved ones with me, hanging out, cheering me on, in some kind of great Jubilee. We've crossed a bunch of finish lines together! I still talk to my mom a lot. We may grieve the loss of those we love ~~ and I have lost my entire family, brother, father, mother ~~ but they are only not present to our senses. They are not gone.

So so sorry for your gramma's passing. I loved both my grammas, too.

~~ kate

I lost my Dad on Father's Day last year in a motorcycle accident. What has helped for me is writing (I wrote a memorial for him in my blog), some sketching, focusing on the good memories we have together, knowing that he passed away doing what he loved, and striving to be the person I know he always wanted me to be. Training and racing is part of that for me - my Dad wasn't athletic during my lifetime, but he was always incredibly supportive of my athletic endeavours throughout my life. I'm actually going back to race the Olympic tri this fall that he came to watch me race in 2010, and I'll dedicate it to him just like I did the sprint I raced just after his death.

The pain of a wonderful person's passing will eventually be outshone by the brilliance of the sunshine they brought to your life. You will need time to get to that point, though, and there is no prize for getting there faster than anyone else. Allow yourself to grieve in your own way and without a set schedule.

-mistress k

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ill advised racing inc.

When my dad died a few years back I found comfort in telling myself that it wasn't all that different to when he was alive but just not in the same room - his influence and input to my life were still there and unchanged.

As I was also well into adulthood I could appreciate that he had already given me a profound amount of strength and learning and that didn't change with his death - I will always carry what I learnt from him and his presence will always be in my life, so I celebrate that.

I was also incredibly fortunate that he was a creative man and I have tangible 'things' in my life that he had made for me, that are unmistakably 'his' - I use some of them almost daily and everywhere in my house there are the things he made and collected that remind me of the person he was.

Grief can be a hard journey and you can only go it at your own pace - Like the races you set yourself, allow yourself to tune into where you're at and go with it - there's no rush to get back to 'normal', particularly if that means denying the distress, displacement and discomfort that you're feeling. It's very real and very normal.

Although the acuteness of it will heal with time, they have a habit of popping up in the strangest places - sometimes the sense of loss can suddenly wash back over you when you least expect it. On the flipside though, in my finishing line photo from my first ironman last year, through the tears and fatigue, I can see my dad in my face more clearly than any other photo I've got. He wasn't there in person but he sure as hell was with me the whole way.

So sorry to hear of your loss.
Firstly, please forgive yourself for not feeling bouncingly normal yet... that in itself is normal. Give yourself time to be sad, angry, laugh at memories, cry at nothing, reflect on the life lost and your time with her. You don't have to get back to normal yet, there is no time frame for that, don't push it. I lost my grandmother and the person i was most close to in life 2 years ago almost and still i think of her almost daily and still shed a tear or three here and there, but i always know i love and appreciate the time we had together.
Whatever your belief system (and i'm a happy little atheist) find comfort in the fact that she is no longer suffering or in pain. I also work in the palliative care setting and time and time again i feel such a relief for someone when they are finally out of their agony although that doesn't make it any easier for the family and those left behind.
Please just let yourself grieve and if that means being angry and screaming into your pillow, being sad or happy or relieved or longing for more time, or any and all of the above at the same time and in various combinations, that's ok. If you want to train, then train. If you don't want to then don't. If you start and then stop then that's fine too. Just let it happen.

Scientifically, the serotonin (one of the 'happy' hormones) in your brain gets a great big STOP message when something so tragic happens and it can take somewhere up to 3 months to kick in again... if it's longer than this or you feel like you're genuinely not coping, please seek some advice and help because you have to look after your own mental as well as physical health.

Sorry again for your loss, your pain is real and we have all shared in that at some point. Best wishes for your family too.

To everyone who has replied...Truly Thank You. I appreciate the time and thoughts.

It has been an interesting year of loss. Both my own and those close to me. I made some pretty big changes in life due to one of these events - trying to seize the day. All the other losses hit like what I expected grief to feel like, the loss of my grandmother (and subsequent family drama) has left almost this...nothing...feeling. I appreciate the reminders that it comes in all forms.

Noodlecat77 - thank you for your thoughtful reply, but also for the work you do. I do take a lot of comfort knowing that my grandmother is not suffering anymore. She would not have wanted the last 3 months. I actually wanted to have her in my home for her end of life care, but the family decided against it. I was the only one she would do anything for - maybe a little guilty I didn't do more. Logically, I know I did what I could and the end was going to be the same.

Thank you also for the serotonin information - the physiology is really interesting to me and I really like learning those kinds of things. It is a really good barometer for emotional responses!

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Don't Just Live, Thrive!
Thrive Kinematics Physical Therapy - http://www.facebook.com/...8178667572974?ref=hl

I lost my Granddad who was like a second Dad to me, then my Mom and my Nana, in the span of 13months.

Thoughts, well it depends upon what you want to know about the whole process from diagnosis to death, dying, death, nursing homes etc.

Remember? I think it's hard to forget about them, rarely do I go through a day where I don't ponder it and it's approaching almost 2 years to the middle death.

Be happy? Well maybe I'm a bit different but life is pretty shitty at times. You can have it kick you in the nuts and beat you down day after day after day or you can realize that shit happens and how you handle it is part of the process. It doesn't change that it sucks, bc it does, but wallowing around isn't going to accomplish much good for you either.

In many respects, Mom dying was harder for me then Dad or my sister. Only b/c I was POA, executor and those first 5-7 days I was really busy handling the estate, funeral and stuff. I think it was the day after the funeral that it really hit me as that was about the first down day I had in 6 weeks.

If you want more info or want to talk about the process I've blogged some about it and you can PM me. I rarely check this forum so a PM might be best.

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Brian Stover USAT LII
Accelerate3 Coaching
Insta

My wife lost both her dad and her younger sister (age 42) this past summer, two weeks apart. My parents are both 88, one aunt is 91, another is 86. My uncle Jerry died last year at age 90. I know I have some more funerals coming up in the near future. It sucks, but its part of life. We just have to accept it.

 I am very sorry for your loss. It is something that as humans we can never be prepared for, even when we know it is coming. I am a 26 yr old male and know how you feel. I lost my Dad 5 months ago. I was very close to him. He had raised me by himself. It was very unexpected. So much that I sent with him an "Iron Dad" shirt that I had just got for him 2 weeks earlier at my race that he couldn't make because it was out of state. It was very hard for me to get back into training and life in general. I then realized that if my Dad was here he would be disappointed to see that I had stopped training and began to slip in my career/life because of him. I decided that if nothing else I wanted to make him and my family name proud. I now strive to be the person my Dad wanted me to be and could be proud of. And when the time comes I will strive to be the amazing father he was to me. When I decided that, things started to get better. I just constantly look back at the things I learned from him throughout my life and how I can use them in my life/training/family life. If nothing else, you can always use the memories you have as your happy place during tough times of a workout. I can assure you of one thing, it takes time. It still hurts today and there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about it. If there is anything I can do PM me. -Brett.

Brett

Thank you for your kindness. Truly. And I am sorry for your loss and the loss of those who have posted. The passing of a loved one is an interesting transition. I feel a bit more normal this week, thinking of how proud my Grams was of all that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren were and are doing. My niece qualified for a two very big gymnastic meets this past weekend. One will conflict with the funeral, but my family has surrounded her and told her she needs to compete that Grams would be/and is so proud of her. For me it is some joy on that day a true celebration of life. On this forum we talked about the Womyn's designation. My grandmother was a true pioneer in the working world, I look at what I am able to do, what my niece is able to do and I am proud she fought for women and men to be able to do their best.

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Don't Just Live, Thrive!
Thrive Kinematics Physical Therapy - http://www.facebook.com/...8178667572974?ref=hl