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Training w/mean people?
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I train with a group comprised of men and women (mostly women). This one younger woman is so condescending and insulting that it is appalling at times. She is fast and does well at races but consistently rubs it in with everyone. I choose not to train with her when we are not with the group because it is nauseating to be around her. If I could find another affordable group/coach I would....

I don't get people who look down their noses at other athletes regardless of their ability. This seems to be a triathlete thing??!!

KK
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Re: Training w/mean people? [Kat_Kong] [ In reply to ]
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LOL I had one of those in my life ("I'd just *die* of embarrasment if I finished an IM in more than 12hrs... but that's ok for *you*..." actual quote)

STAY AWAY from people like this. She won't get it, so don't waste your breath on her.

AP

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"How bad could it be?" - SimpleS
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Re: Training w/mean people? [AndyPants] [ In reply to ]
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It is definitely not just a triathlete thing. I rode horses before bikes and trust me, triathletes have nothing on equestrians.
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Re: Training w/mean people? [Kat_Kong] [ In reply to ]
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Maybe when she was even younger than she is now, she was the one lacking in athletic ability and her pompousness is nothing more than a defense mechanism. Perhaps you could just give her a hug and let her know that its all ok...



When someone pulls laws out of their @$$, all we end up with are laws that smell like sh!t. -Skippy
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Re: Training w/mean people? [Kat_Kong] [ In reply to ]
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I'd probably look at her and say, "Are you REALLY that insecure? STFU!"

clm
Nashville, TN
https://twitter.com/ironclm | http://ironclm.typepad.com
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Re: Training w/mean people? [Kat_Kong] [ In reply to ]
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hahaha she's not even worth a second thought, people like her try to make the universe cater to them (at the expense of everyone around them). It's annoying, sucks, but you'll learn a lot by learning to be your best despite having someone like her around you.

I had a girl like that in my grad school program. My first year, everyone thought the sun shined out of her ass (and yes, she is a talented girl). She liked to tout all the compliments she got and what honors she received. She also reduced me to tears more than once by degrading my own skills (not fun!). But I stayed quiet and worked hard-- I didn't treat her any differently than anyone else I knew, and never bad-mouthed her to any classmates or professors. I even stopped students from complaining about her to faculty.

Before long, she made PLENTY of enemies... and had a VERY public spat with a girl at school. (seriously, campus security broke up the argument). It was ugly, like watching a car crash over and over and over again. And by the second year, guess who regularly showed up in tears, asking for advice....?!

My opinion: Give them the rope, they'll hang themselves every time.

Until then, hang in there. Next time she broadcasts results.. ask her: "...oh, only fourth? It would be really great if you could win one of those!!" haha. ;)

Jen
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Re: Training w/mean people? [Kat_Kong] [ In reply to ]
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Ignore her, but be polite and take everything with a grain (or five) of salt. Everyone else is probably tired of the same things that are bothering you and she will soon alienate herself from the group with that kind of behavior. We select training partners for many reasons, including personality (more important then speed some times). Best advice I ever got to deal with that kind of people? Smile, nod and think to yourself "It must suck to be you!"

And no, it's not just a tri thing. Take a peek at the Let's Run world, where a 3:00 marathon is practically walking and you are nothing if you don't run over a 100 miles a week!


Vale!
Tracy T
http://www.thelencoaching.com
Some light reading::: http://www.tracythelen.blogspot.com
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Re: Training w/mean people? [JNelly7] [ In reply to ]
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In Reply To:

My opinion: Give them the rope, they'll hang themselves every time.

Jen

Fantastic. well said. this made my day! Now I can mentally picture handing over a rope to this crazy, loud girl I swim with who has an astounding capacity to brag, be completely insecure and put down others all at the same time. Love it.
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Re: Training w/mean people? [Kat_Kong] [ In reply to ]
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Ahh, the classic insecure young lady who belittles others to make herself feel superior. Doesn't every training group have one?

We have one here, and in a matter of a year or two has alienated herself from just about everyone. It's comical to watch her suck up and try to get back into good graces with the group. Most people just nod politely and don't include her. I feel sorry for her, but it's nice to watch her be uncomfrotable after all the mean and degrading drama she has created. I know a few guys who MOVE OUT OF HER LANE at masters because they don't even want to hear her voice anymore....

Karma's a bitch, Kat, and one day it'll come around to bite her. But I'd definitely have a snarky remark or two (ala CLM's post) up my sleeve to throwdown on her someday... :)
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Re: Training w/mean people? [Kat_Kong] [ In reply to ]
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I knew a guy like that. He used to win AG every time but one time he lost and actually refused to shake the Ag winner's hand on the podium. This guy was ultra competitive and couldn't do anything without turning it into some sort of a competition, even walking our dogs one time he wanted to turn it into a race. It all boils down to insecurity. As everybody has said, its best to just ignore people like this and don't let her get under your skin.
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Re: Training w/mean people? [cerveloguy] [ In reply to ]
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Simply call her out on it and she will keep quiet.


_____________________________________
DISH is how we do it.
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Re: Training w/mean people? [travelmama] [ In reply to ]
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Simply call her out on it and she will keep quiet.

I like this approach.
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