carbs scare me the most. What has been frightening lately is cravings for sugar, but I'm not supposed to eat sugar - I'm supposed to eat an English muffin or bagel (etc) instead. So grains for today have been a cliff bar, 1.5 servings of plain oats, an english muffin, and a mini ww pita.

I'm hungry... like CONSTANTLY. It is scary, I keep trying to remind msyelf "it's your metabolism, you're not going to get fat, your body is using the energy" and in a way that's a good reassurance but it's frightful; I had 2 veggie burgers this afternoon and had sugar cravings an hour later. Ugh. Advantages of fast metabolism: get to eat lots. Disadvantage: have to eat lots. Depends on the day whether it's an advantage or disadvantage; depends on whether I feel like coping with the food in my stomach or not.

Thank you for the support. I am trying... I want this turning point to be the LAST one and then I can get the stupid eating disorder OUT OF MY LIFE.

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maybe she's born with it, maybe it's chlorine
If you're injured and need some sympathy, PM me and I'm very happy to write back.
disclaimer: PhD not MD

Be very proud of your accomplishments. You have done a lot of amazing things in your life. Look where you are and how you have arrived here. The fact is that you will overcome this obstacle in your life, but this turning point WILL NOT be the LAST one. You will have a multitude of turning points over a multitude of issues. This is why Jen's advice about getting outside of yourself becomes so important.

Every day we are faced with choices and each will have a consequence. A good decision here...a bad decision there. Every day we get to choose whether to follow up with another bad decision to punish our past or to make a better future.

Your past and who you were is in your head. You future and who you are becoming is outside of you.

When I was a little kid I cut this out of the paper. It has always stayed with me. <):o)

Today is mine.
It is unique! Nobody in the world has one exactly like it.
It holds the sum of of my past experiences , and all of my future potential.
I can fill it with joyuos memories or ruin it with fruitless worry.
If painful recollections of the past come into my mind, or frightening thoughts of the future, I can put them away.
They cannot spoil today for me ........................ It is mine !

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it turns out that our OP is only "mostly" dead........ ElGordo

Hi TC. You think being thinner will make you happy - the trouble is, enough will never be enough. Other people probably look at you and say "WOW! I wish I had her body"!! It's all relative! That's the thing with an eating disorder.... it's in your head. Losing another 5 or 10 pounds will make no difference. Then you'll want another 5 or 10 pounds off. And so the years will roll on by.

I know this sounds simplistic, but I think it is very good for soul (and for perspective) if while you are getting help with the counselling side of things, try and do things for people less fortunate than yourself. I always think that practicing kindness towards others (particularly those who will never be able to pay you back in any way) makes you feel so much better. I love the quote "act as if what you do makes a difference". Imagine if we all did something nice for someone every day!!

Never give up or give in!! If you have a slip up, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again!!

Good luck TC

Lisa