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Greet me with bullets and shoes, will you?
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Like a moth to a flame, I challege trijihad and the rest of the Slowtwitchites to a contest of our OPTIMUM trajectories of bullets and shoes in the desert of mortal Internet combat. (Beware! Not even the PROS no what ther OPTIMUM trajectory is!)
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Re: Greet me with bullets and shoes, will you? [orang utan] [ In reply to ]
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I know the Orang-Utan, and you sir, are no Orang-Utan. You're diction is much too good, you're spelling gives you away, and the fact that you made it through a sentence without bashing Cervelo or two-way seatposts makes you a laughable imposter!

Yer nothing but a damn orange monkey wannabe! Wait till Trijihad911 and his fanatic followers come after you!
Big EE
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Re: Greet me with bullets and shoes, will you? [orang utan] [ In reply to ]
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Here ya go

Let the war begin (peacefully of course)

The Shoe slinging rodent

I don't work here, I just live here
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Re: Greet me with bullets and shoes, will you? [Big EE] [ In reply to ]
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Scoff not! I have been educated at the feet of Crom, the God who fills the skies with bikes no matter the brand! Allah, Dan, or Tom D. have nothing over Crom! Crom sees and knows all! Crom employs PCs as devices of torture upon those who question his wisdom!

He has caused me to sally forth and do battle with those who oppose his wisdom! I wield new spelling skills and divisions of TNTers and Clydes and Athenas! We equip our frankenbike steeds with clinchers and integrated headsets! I lead them while flinging feces and shallow-angled seatposts!

Be warned, bullets and shoes have no effect upon me or my armies. (But if I were to run over the beast that was displayed in a post on monday, I might come into contact with the ground, BUT ONLY MOMENTARILY! I would rise again!)

Beware, Danites, Tom D.ites, and those who follow Gods other than Crom. Your time has come.
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Re: Greet me with bullets and shoes, will you? [orang utan] [ In reply to ]
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(In my best Charleton Heston "Planet of the Apes" voice)

Get your shoes, feces, and seatposts out of here, you damn dirty ape!

-- Big EE
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Re: Greet me with bullets and shoes, will you? [Big EE] [ In reply to ]
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That has tom d written all of it...........read it and think about it.......
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Re: Greet me with bullets and shoes, will you? [orang utan] [ In reply to ]
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PRESS RELEASE: FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE. 1 MAY, 2003.
09:58HR.S GMT/ MANASARIAH, KNOWWHEREISTAN. (INFORMATION FOLLOWS). CLASSIFICATION: CLEARED FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN.

D.O.D.

Sources inside the U.S. Military indicate that a pre-dawn commando raid has destroyed a confirmed terrorist training facility in central Knowwhereistan. The raid, executed by elements of the U.S. Central Command, captured equipment "Known to be used in triathlon training" including 4 computrainers and crude plans to manufacture a Powercrank copy. A cache of missing 2003 Cervelos was also discovered in an underground bunker. The subject known to U.S. Intelligence as "Trijihad911" is believed to have been killed in the attack, although sources could not confirm his whereabouts. (NO FURTHER INFORMATIONFOLLOWS).

Tom Demerly
The Tri Shop.com
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Re: Greet me with bullets and shoes, will you? [Tom Demerly] [ In reply to ]
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Crom advised me that the attack was imminent, so I and my Praetorean Clydes and Athenas escaped narrowly; however many of my TNTers were slain by the cowardly occupiers. There was much destruction among the purple-shirted, and faint cries of "Goooooo Teeeeeaaaaammmmm!" filled the air upon my return.

I have no knowledge of the fate of the one who calls himself "trijihad911." But if he met that fate as claimed by Tom D., Crom will certainly make it apparent to me when He appears in my dreams tonight.

As for my exile, Knowhereistan is only my most recent forum while training myself and my forces for my return to Slowtwitch. My fondest memories are of my time in RST Hell, slinging invectives, feces and roadies at all who challenged me. I have grown strong, and my will is great. Crom be praised, I will do battle with all who question Him.

BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO PC! BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO STRUGGLE AGAINST AND FREE THEMSELVES FROM THE YOKE OF FRANKENBIKE STIGMA! BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO SACRIFICE THEMSELVES FOR ME AND INTEGRATED HEADSETS! THE FEDAYEEN ORANG!!!!
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Re: Greet me with bullets and shoes, will you? [orang utan] [ In reply to ]
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you remind me of myself. trying to hard to be funny and bright. you are very dull. you rants are meaningless. i have no idea who you are but please leave.

Real Name: The knower of all things
Location: The ether
Local Time: May 1, 2003, 8:47 PM
Occupation: Jihadi
Interests: Smiting all who question Crom.
Homepage: http://www.despair.com


that was the best you had?

customerjon @gmail.com is where information happens.
Last edited by: ultra-poser: May 1, 03 20:50
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Here's how I greet you... [ In reply to ]
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"We equip our frankenbike steeds with clinchers and integrated headsets! I lead them while flinging feces and shallow-angled seatposts!

Be warned, bullets and shoes have no effect upon me or my armies. (But if I were to run over the beast that was displayed in a post on monday, I might come into contact with the ground, BUT ONLY MOMENTARILY! I would rise again!)"


"Crom sees and knows all!"- Who the hell is Crom? I only believe in the cute, furry Goddess known as the Great Bunny. She just got finished with that holiday humans call Easter. It is really called "Oh Greatest of All Great Hare Days". But she still bestowed benevolent furryness and presents to the humans this past Sunday.

Nothing's worse than rabbit pee from an amorous male rabbit. You can come at me with your integrated headset-equipped, clincher-loving armies. I will make your armies hide in their sleevies with my potent, purulent urine.

Also, my terds are very hard, harder than the hardest of shoes to be thrown upon you. They can be shot from a cannon or slingshot or just plain kicked from my powerful hind legs. Fling away from your shallow seat posts. My poopy-doop is more powerful than yours.

So, don't come at me, and you shall not suffer the wrath of the BUNNYMAN. I don't want to call upon the Great Bunny for her strength, but I will if I have to.

Okay?
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Re: Greet me with bullets and shoes, will you? [poser] [ In reply to ]
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Oh poser, you do not know the tale of Orang Utan. You are too fresh and too clean of the Slowtwitch experience to appreciate and understand the significance of my return!

I insisted on following my own path, laying waste to the land around it. Slash and burn was my tactic and I used it well. I was scolded and schooled by the masses, yet I refused to capitulate to their wants.

I held the forum hostage for two moons until I was vanquish'd by Dan, the One who many follow.

So now I have reappeared to inject some levity and humor into the forum that has recently been overtaken by negativity and spite, with large men and women and those in purple as the target. Let the Orang be the target! I miss the attention!

To the bun: as far as other Gods go, one can do worse than worshipping rabbits; I find them to be wise and even-handed. But do you no longer worship Samantha (the) Fox? I used to worship Hookers, until I was priced out of their rarefied air... Now I kneel to the Trek Gods as I find them to be more fitting.

Godspeed to you all this weekend. There as many races to be run as there are Gods in the Mountains and in the Skies. I'll have a word with my Gods tonight and attempt to provide good weather in the place where the Flowers are Wild and the volunteers are naked. (Though I must warn you: in the event of rain, big screens of pornographic images may not be possible!)
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Re: Greet me with bullets and shoes, will you? [orang utan] [ In reply to ]
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did anybody hear something?

customerjon @gmail.com is where information happens.
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Re: Greet me with bullets and shoes, will you? [orang utan] [ In reply to ]
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" To the bun: as far as other Gods go, one can do worse than worshipping rabbits; I find them to be wise and even-handed. But do you no longer worship Samantha (the) Fox?"

The fit of Samantha has integrated herself into me and now I am one with Samantha Fox. I do not worship her, but let her be in the leagues of my wives and servants.
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