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#$%#$@ the South (warning, lots of f-word)
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It so perfectly explains why are some people angry...

http://fuckthesouth.com/

Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?

No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and fucking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. Fuck off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fucking bridges, bitch.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop signs, assholes.

Let’s talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s fucking Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10 of the top 10 are fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its fucking part.

But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fucking towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.

Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.

And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time. Fuck off.


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Re: #$%#$@ the South (warning, lots of f-word) [bitwiz] [ In reply to ]
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Tourette's Syndrome can be treatable, you know. And remember to thank him for driving a few more squishy moderate Dems right on over to the Reps for the '06 elections. Great.

K
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Re: #$%#$@ the South (warning, lots of f-word) [bitwiz] [ In reply to ]
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Hmm.. Very uninformed and not really that clever.
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Re: #$%#$@ the South (warning, lots of f-word) [JohnA] [ In reply to ]
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I liked it. I'd like to hear a rant from the other side too. As a Midwesterner who had to live for several years in the South, I can appreciate complaints against them. War of Northern Aggression my ass. ;-)

Slowguy

(insert pithy phrase here...)
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Re: #$%#$@ the South (warning, lots of f-word) [slowguy] [ In reply to ]
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I'm just disappointed that this seems to be the prevailing opinion from those who aren't entirely enamored of Bush or the election results. Knee-jerk reactionary screeds such as this one are common on both sides, from what I can see.

But, really.....I don't remember this level of discourse when Clinton only got 43 percent of the popular vote against Bush 41 (he got about 37%) and Ross Perot (about 18%), back in '92, when it was widely acknowledged that Perot took most of the Bush-leaning voters away. I didn't see herds of Young Republicans tearing up their country club membership cards and making reservations (First Class, by the way) for an extended exile crusie on the Queen Mary, or something ;-)

And isn't it really amazing how the supposed "blue blood" Republican Party has managed to transform itself into the party of rednecks, yokels, inbreeds and morons in the space of a generation? Didn't that used to be the Dems niche? ;-))

K
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Re: #$%#$@ the South (warning, lots of f-word) [bitwiz] [ In reply to ]
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Where did the Continental Navy get the oak to build their ships, cotton and flax to make their sails, pitch to chink their hulls, and tobacco to chew?

Other factoids: 1/2/1788, Georgia ratifies the Constitution. 5/23/1788, South Carolina ratifies the Constitution. 6/25/1788, Virginia ratifies the Constitution. 11/25/1788, South Carolina is the first state to select representatives for the U.S. Congress. 2/4/1789, Presidential electors select George Washingto (Virginian) as the first President. 6/7/1789, James Madison (Virginian) introduces proposed Bill of Rights in the House of Representatives. 12/15/1791, Virginia ratifies the Bill of Rights.

Need I go on?
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Re: #$%#$@ the South (warning, lots of f-word) [tri_bri2] [ In reply to ]
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Go ahead and say something @#$%^& about this founding father form the south .From the Monticello website

Thomas Jefferson -- author of the Declaration of Independence and the Statute of Virginia for Religious Freedom, third president of the United States, and founder of the University of Virginia -- voiced the aspirations of a new America as no other individual of his era. As public official, historian, philosopher, and plantation owner, he served his country for over five decades.

All I Wanted Was A Pepsi, Just One Pepsi

Team Zoot, Team Zoot Mid-Atlantic

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Re: #$%#$@ the South (warning, lots of f-word) [big kahuna] [ In reply to ]
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And isn't it really amazing how the supposed "blue blood" Republican Party has managed to transform itself into the party of rednecks, yokels, inbreeds and morons in the space of a generation? Didn't that used to be the Dems niche?

I was thinking the same thing.

Really .. when looking at the electoral by county ... if it really is "one area vs. another area", it's "Big Cities Vs. The Rest of the country". I live close enough to Chicago to know that it is not all that uncommon to have people from the city view their opinion as being more worthy. Heck, they live in "The City", how could it not be? =)

=======================
-- Every morning brings opportunity;
Each evening offers judgement. --
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Re: #$%#$@ the South (warning, lots of f-word) [bitwiz] [ In reply to ]
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THat was hysterical!!
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